My chin rested on my hands. Nine children. Cyrus had been combing the underworld and found nine 'children of the apocalypse' as they were called. So far Alice and I were the only ones to give our curse through skin contact, while the others kept theirs in their blood. Alice was also the youngest, the majority of the others being between the ages of seven and ten. None of them suffered through her migraines, though the eldest, a boy who told us he was eleven, was paralyzed from the knees down. It was difficult to tell if it was a result of his poison, which was by far the mildest, or a birth defect.

The boy who had come with him was mute. We knew that wasn't from poison though. He had protested too loudly, so their captor hired a vet and had him cut like one of the lycans.

At least the cubs and children seemed to get on nicely. The kids delighted in teaching the uncut lycans to speak, while the larger cubs mimicked my relationship with Cerberus and allowed them to ride on their backs.

"Dessy, guess who's back!"

I smiled. Alice had already come up with a nickname for me. I turned in my seat, watching her skip over broken furniture and bones to get my throne. Within a week, the lycans had destroyed the palace, turning it into a den of rubble and the remains of their hunts. The kids didn't seem to mind though, they were perfectly content so long as they were fed and free.

"Who?"

"Cyrus!" the little girl squealed, then pointed to the main entryway. "And he's got someone with him!" Her bleached hide gloves already bore several brownish stains, which I assumed to be chocolate, though they very well could be blood. Some of the children chanced eating from the lycan's kills.

I peered over her, looking to the main entrance. Crimson Claw was the first to enter, opening the door and clearing a path for those who followed behind. Cyrus came in, supporting a thin kid. I stood up as they stepped into the light.

The boy was taller than the others, lanky and clearly malnourished. His hair hung in a dirty, untrimmed mess about his shoulders. Yet, his most obvious features were the open sores that littered his skin, some oozing blood and fluids, others crusted over. His clothes hung in tatters under Cyrus's cloak, which had been hung over his shoulders.

My companion's face was devoid of all usual cheer as he met my gaze. "His name is Jared."

"Welcome," I greeted, then gestured for him to come closer. Cyrus helped him along to the end of the stairs leading to my throne. I could smell the sickness from my seat. "How old are you, Jared?"

"Fourteen, my Queen," he said, bowing his head.

"And what is your poison?"

"I make people feel good..." He let out a sigh. "Until their skin falls off that is."

My eyes widened, though I made no remark. I hadn't heard of such a side effect. Judging by Cyrus's expression, neither had he.

"I see... and where exactly is-?"

"It's on my skin."

"Oh." I sighed, reaching down to take Alice's hand. She smiled up at me, clearly not understanding the situation. I forced a smile back. "I'm sorry for that. Find a room not completely decimated if you can, Cyrus, and see if you can find him some gloves while he gets washed up." I looked back down on the boy. "I truly am sorry. I can only hope you can find happiness here."

Jared nodded. "Thank you, my queen. You've already done too much for me."

I nodded in return. Cyrus let the boy lean on him again. Crimson Claw paused at the brush of my foot against his shoulder. The chocolate lycan had become the unofficial beta of the pack, though he spent most of his time accompanying Cyrus on his quests.

"Is he behaving?"

Amber eyes searched mine. He was trying to read me. After a minute, he gave a short nod.

I sighed, then gestured that he was free to go. Of course Cyrus was behaving, I knew very well the lycan wouldn't hesitate to end him if he so much as suggested crossing me.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

Yet, in a way, I almost hoped he would commit some sort of betrayal. It would be easier to accept, a kind of relief from this constant suspicion. And still, he passed every test I had sent him without a second of hesitation.

I watched the trio hobble down the hallway. It was tempting to believe I was doing enough good to warrant a happy ending, that these were my friends and we could all skip off into the sunset together. But I wasn't that naïve.

There were exactly twenty-seven doctors in Cicil. Not one had enough knowledge to recreate Dr. Aster's cure. Six of them hadn't even tried. Damned, they called us. Children of the Apocalypse couldn't be cured, they were a reminder of humanity's mistakes, a disease that needed to be purged before we could move beyond the downfalls of our past. It'd be better for everyone if we all just died.

Now there were twenty-one doctors in Cicil.

I had expanded my search throughout Preene, but not many came forward. I could call them to me. I could order them with my title. I could even hunt them down. But in the end, somehow I knew, there was only one who could cure us.

Half a dozen lycans had run the mountains, each attached with a note, more of a plea, to find the doctor that once cured me.

Only one burst through my doors, allowing a cold burst of wintery air to swirl inside, sprinkling snowflakes over the stone flooring. I sprung to my feet, rushing down the stairs to Cerberus, who carried the injured lycan on his back. I recognized him as the lycan Alice first pet, and the first to volunteer to run the mountains. I glanced behind me. Thankfully, Alice had disappeared into the depths of the palace.

It was immediately apparent something was wrong by his shivering. The lycans' thick coats insulated them from all but the coldest of nights. Of course, any insulation was useless once removed. Four massive lacerations had torn the fur from his back, their combined width spanning all of his body. In addition, half of his tail hung limp at an odd angle from the rest. Bald spots had already begun to appear, revealing the black skin underneath.

"Sunshine!" I had no other name for him other than the one Alice assigned. His eyes opened, though just barely. They rolled in my direction, yet remained unfocused. The lycan attempted to lift his head, revealing the canister strapped to his neck, which I used for them to carry their notes. The lid had been opened, then resealed. I hurriedly unbuckled the collar, slipping it from his neck before some of the other lycans came to take him away to the medical wing.

"He collapsed not far from the city," Cerberus explained as I broke the wax holding the canister together and unfolded the paper within, "We searched for the others, but found no sign of them."

'Dear Desire,

I can only assume from your new title that you've done well for yourself, even found a new batch of dogs, though I must say they are a bit smaller than your previous ones. I am quite looking forward to the reports my informants will bring of the havoc you've undoubtedly wreaked upon Preene. Until then I must make due with insinuations from this note.

I believe I owe you the courtesy, after you so willingly disposed of Perimone for me, to inform you that I consider your interest in Askance, combined with your newfound authority, as a threat. Hopefully, you will understand if I do not ignore such things as my predecessor did. However, I anticipated we would meet again after you fled your little hideout, and so took the liberty of collecting Dr. Estil, as well as a previous lord I believe you may have interest in. I assure you I will give you both freely after we come to an agreement how to best neutralize the threat you pose to my country.

Send my regards to the head trainer.

Howens

Ninth Elected Leader of Askance'

I ground my teeth together. Him. He had done this. I didn't know how he had inflicted such wounds on my lycan, but I knew with certainty that worm of a military commander, now elected Lord it seemed, had not only tortured Sunshine, but also disposed of the rest. Now he held the doctor I needed for the children, those I now considered my own, from my reach.

"Gather a force of the strongest lycans," I growled. "We have to meet with an old friend."

Cerberus dropped his head, staring at the stonework beneath his paws. "My lady," he murmured. I clenched my jaw as my heart sunk. He hadn't called me that since we entered Cicil. "There is a blizzard in the mountains. The snow will be too deep to cross until spring."

I dropped to my knees. The sound of the impact echoed through the room as I slapped the floor, once polished and smooth, now scratched to a dull gray by the lycan's claws. Could they even make it that long? Would the doctor, ancient as he was, live until then? Would Howens even keep his word?

Of course he wouldn't.

Spring was months away. In that instant, it felt like a lifetime, perhaps longer. Perhaps too long.

I knew I was assigned from birth to be a villain. Every choice I had ever made only cemented my role. I had no right to expect to be happy, to have a fairytale ending where everyone was ridiculously joyful and lived full and fulfilling lives. That was for other people once I was gone.

I knew I may be tempted by the possibility. I knew I may be so close to having security and loved ones and to be touched and everything that I wanted that I could convince myself there was some possibility I could live that life. But my marriage to Darrius had proven even when I thought I had a choice, it would all be taken away.

And yet, I couldn't bring myself to give up fighting for it.