The gardens were lit with lights from the palace along with a few torches spread throughout. Somewhere among the hedges and rose mazes were River and Crimson Claw, sniffing out squirrels. It broke my heart to know they were learning to hunt as cubs, despite being fully grown. Cerberus stayed by my side, both too injured to hunt and too proud to chase anything less challenging than a rabbit.

The vet concluded he was healing well, and had most likely collapsed from blood loss. Lycans were hardy creatures, difficult to injure and even more so to keep down. Perhaps such inspired the old world's legends of the super healing abilities of the werewolves. That didn’t stop me from worrying, though. I couldn’t help but feel there was something else, something my companion knew but refused to tell me.

Cerberus picked up his head, alerting me to the nearby presence. When he stood, I knew it wasn't a lycan he sensed. I followed his eyes to the human man standing on the edge of the gardens.

"So, you're betrothed to the king?" Cyrus said, leaning back against a tree. His stance brought forth the image of Brennon, propped against my chamber door, challenging me to release Cerberus on him. Just as before, I placed my hand on the lycan's chest and felt his growl through my fingertips. "You never mentioned when this happened. Was it at the masquerade, or were you a runaway bride when I met you?"

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. Cerberus was here with me now, and my other lycans were a shout away. "How did you get here? The palace is guarded."

My former manager shrugged. "It isn't the first time I've snuck in. You could say it used to be a habit of mine. But really, what I'm more interested in is if your hubby knows about your nighttime hobbies."

I gritted my teeth. "You don't understand anything."

"Why's that?"

"Because you don't know what I do."

Cyrus frowned. "And if I did, would I be like you?"

I paused. Could anyone be like me? If someone else had been born with my curse and lived the life that I had, would they have made the same choices? "I don't know."

"Tell me then, if you think that justifies your actions."

I sighed. Simply telling him could never convey the horror of the experience. He couldn't possibly have any concept of what it was truly like to be held captive unless he experienced it for himself. But then again, telling him was the closest he could come. I would never wish that life on anyone.

But first, he needed to understand the ones who lived it.

"I was banished from Askance to the Lycan Mountains to die." I began, watching his reaction as I spoke. "I didn't just tame the wild lycans. I lived with them close to three years."

Cyrus crossed his arms, still glaring at me. It seemed the anger had finally worked its way to the surface. "How is that supposed to excuse what you've done?"

"I learned a lot about them, more than most people would care to know." He wasn't comprehending yet, but at least he was listening. "Lycans are just as intelligent and sentient as humans."

He snorted. "That's a stretch."

"Cyrus, they don't cut lycans to keep them from calling. They cut them so they can't speak."

The man hesitated on his next words. His eyes scanned over me, searching for some sign of deception. Finding none, he switched his gaze to my guardian. "I've never heard Cerberus talk," he said slowly.

The alpha lycan tipped his head. His vibrant eyes rested on the man before him. I wondered what he was thinking. His stance was relaxed, not at all aggressive. "I’m not often in the mood."

The man's jaw dropped. I couldn't help the smallest of smiles that tugged at my lips. Always so expressive. It didn't last long, though. Those endearing traits only made everything harder. I had to choose what I truly wanted, a choice I already made. Cyrus was someone I had to sacrifice.

"The mountain lycans died defending me in a war I started. It's likely there are no wild lycans, save Cerberus. Freeing their cousins in Preene is the only way I can repay that debt." That was my goal, the purpose for which I had come to Cicil and entered the fights. I couldn't let selfish wants get in the way of that. My own desires were what killed them in the first place. Now I carried them within me, a heavy sack of rocks I was too weary to carry much further. "I'm not asking for your forgiveness, only that you understand."

His eyes switched from the alpha lycan to me, back and forth until they finally settled on my face. My heart twisted in knots. I wasn't supposed to get attached anymore. I thought I had learned my lesson with Brennon. No one could love me, because I was sick and evil. I tried so very hard for so long, but ultimately I had found I couldn't keep morals and attachments without suffering myself. I knew that, yet here I was, making all the same mistakes all over again.

The man closed his eyes. "I don't know if I can ever understand you."

Then he left. Cyrus swung up onto the tree's lower branches, using them to launch himself over the hedge wall. From there, I couldn't track his movements. I didn't want to. It was better this way, that he simply disappeared into the night like a ghost, as if he had never really been there at all.

***

People swarmed around me like insects, each tending to some aspect of the room's appearance. Maids smoothed bright blue sheets over a thick mattress while gardeners wove flowering vines up the bedposts. The entire royal suite was filled with a floral, sweet scent.

The maids paused in their work to bow to the approaching king. Darrius nodded in return before turning his attention on me. "All this is perfect, but I wonder where I'm going to sleep tonight." He shot me one of his foxish smirks I had become very familiar with the past few days. "Perhaps you have room for me in your chambers."

I gave a small snort. "Anxious are we?"

My fiancée responded by looking me up and down. "Can you blame me?"

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"Well, you're going to have to wait," I teased. "It'd be bad luck."

Darrius gave a playfully crooked frown. "Seems more bad luck for me not to." I laughed at that. His expression changed to a more genuine smile. "You seem to have cheered up. I'm glad, I was worried with how stressed you seemed the past few days."

I shrugged. "Can you blame me? Anyway, I figured it was time to stop moping about. We’re going to have a fairytale wedding tomorrow. I should be happy."

I had made my choices. The pieces had been set in place. It was almost time for my final play. I gathered my remaining energy and determination and was ready to push to the end. The last turn would decide who won and who lost; I couldn't afford to distract myself with sentimental emotions. I had a promise to keep.

"That's good. Though," Darrius glanced at the animal beside me, "if you feel unsafe, I could have armed guards assigned to you."

My fingers sought out the silver fur between River's ears. "But I don't feel unsafe, not with my guard dogs, so you needn't bother."

The king shook his head, stepping closer to embrace me. "I already love how independent you are. Even when you're scared, you carry the demeanor of someone who could conquer the world in an evening."

"Well, I might need a day or two to conquer the whole world."

He laughed, then bent down to kiss my lips. I pressed my hand to his chest, stopping him an inch from my mouth.

"Bad luck, remember?" I reminded him with a smirk.

The king stepped back, throwing his head back in mock exasperation. "Not even a kiss? I'm not sure I'm going to make it till tomorrow! What about a walk? Can I at least have that, or will that be 'bad luck' too?"

Something about his words, that teasing humor, was familiar.

Cyrus. How many times had I laughed with my manager at some inn in some town or another? I’d been so focused on my goal, I’d hardly noticed it at the time. Now, I fought the sharp regret of loss, desperately trying to keep it from showing on my face.

I rolled my eyes, hiding my inner torment. “No, a walk will be fine. Come River." The lycan stood up, following me out the door. Just outside the room, Cerberus and Crimson Claw waited where I had determined their larger forms wouldn't be so much of an obstruction. "I'll meet you outside," I called back to Darrius. "Just let me get my coat."

***

The royal palace was situated near the edge of the city, so that one edge of the gardens pressed up against the wild forests of Preene. The city walls weren't solid stone here, instead, they were comprised of decorated iron bars. I could tell wild lycans had never been a problem near Cicil, otherwise they wouldn't rely on an obstacle the canines could so easily scale. I wondered if this was where Cyrus had gotten in.

It still hadn't snowed. Quite usual for this time of year in Askance, but then again, Preene's weather thus far seemed more mild. Even so, I was glad the cold weather allowed me to wear gloves without question. The familiar comfort of their protection made me feel more at ease as I walked hand in hand with Darrius through the frosted grounds.

"How did the fitting go?"

"Excellent," I sighed, drawing myself from my own thoughts, "Just a few alterations. Your mother's dress is beautiful."

"Yeah. I wish I could have known her." Darrius paused, taking a moment to admire the craftsmanship of a bouquet of iron roses climbing up the gate before continuing on, "But I did know my father, and he would have loved you. He would have been so happy about us being together, I'm sure he would have celebrated with a hunt. He always loved hunting..." The king laughed. "Seems even when I'm not drunk I feel the need to tell you everything."

"That's okay," I said, adjusting my grip from his hand to his arm, "I would have loved to meet him too."

Our attention was drawn by Cerberus standing up, shortly followed by River and Crimson Claw. We followed their gazes to a crook in the path between hedges.

"Someone's coming," I murmured.

Darrius nodded. "It's truly remarkable how much control you have. I heard some of the staff complain about them being loose in the castle, but really, they seem no more dangerous than a well behaved dog around you." The tall redhead looked down at me, "They have yet to so much as knock over a pot. How do you do it?"

"Other trainers rely on fear. I rely on respect." I answered simply.

A palace guard rounded the corner, his blue ruffled collar bouncing around his neck as he jogged to us. To his credit, he only gave Cerberus a brief terrified glance before delivering his message. "Your Majesty, the council requests your presence. They require your approval on the terms of your upcoming marriage."

The king turned to me, "Do you want to look over the papers before I sign them?"

"No," I shook my head, then smiled, "We already talked about it, I trust you to take care of my interests. The whole point of this was to name me as your heir, right?"

Darrius mirrored my expression. His sheepskin clad fingers combed through my dark hair. "Well, not the whole point of it."

"I'd like to stay outside a little longer and enjoy the fresh air."

The king gave a nod of approval. The messenger guard led him back down the path. I waited until they had disappeared for a few minutes before I faced Cerberus.

"I need to see the others."

"Get on," he said, kneeling down.

I frowned. "You're too injured to carry me."

"I'm fine," he huffed.

I was about to reply when a light force tapped my hip. I glanced over, seeing Crimson Claw mimicking Cerberus's position. The chocolate male dipped his head down in invitation.

"Thank you," I said, swinging onto his back. It felt odd, he was both shorter and more slender than my usual mount. Even so, he didn't seem to have a problem baring my weight. "Let's go."

Cerberus paused, glaring at us with an unreadable expression before turning and leaping into the bars. Crimson Claw followed his lead, pulling the two of us up and over before jumping down. River wasn't far behind. The lycans immediately took off into the forest.

It was while we were bounding over a frozen stream that I realized I had never ridden another lycan besides Cerberus. I never needed to, for the albino alpha was always by my side and as the largest, the most obvious and capable choice. He must have found it just as odd, judging by the occasional glances he kept throwing back at us. I could feel the difference in Crimson Claw's gait, the way his front paws landed just a little bit more heavily and the stiffness in his movements. Years of being confined hadn't done well for his structural development.

We had run quite a ways when Cerberus finally decided to stop. By then both my captive born lycans were panting from the run. Their wild alpha wasn't so adversely affected, and wasted no time in letting out a long, loud howl.

They may have never heard it before, but their instincts were drawn to the call. The lycans I had freed came running. Some of the closer groups arrived mere moments later. None of them had wandered too far, and in less than a half hour I was convinced all of them had shown.

I wouldn't have had so many, had I not gone after a dozen breeders. All the breeders had at least five, while one had nearly twenty. Now I had my army. Some of them may be cubs or barely older, but numbers outweighed their age. All together, I had over a hundred lycans at my command.

"Welcome to the pack my friends. Enjoying your freedom?"

Their barks were silent, but they were a resounding roar in my ears. Some of the younger cubs offered their yips of approval. I smiled as my eyes landed on Missy's three, standing near a black female.

They weren't enough to take Cicil by force. It was a task even the wild lycans couldn't contend with. But we wouldn't need to.

"Now, let me explain how we're going to increase our numbers..."