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“Hold my hand?” Kilniara replied with confusion. Why does he want to hold my hand? Or is he seeking information? A form of testing my strength possibly. A million thoughts raced through her head as she tried to figure out what he was asking, mind whirring quickly to find a reason. Suddenly, she remembered this morning’s walk and her mind blanked while her face flushed a deep red. She nodded and held her hand out to his. His face shone brilliantly, happy with her response. His fingers slid down her palm before slipping between her fingers, lacing between them. His palm and fingers burned against her hand, and once again she was shocked by how hot his skin felt against her own. This is… he called me cold-blooded… so he would consider himself warm blooded? Kilniara considered the burning heat against her palm and waited patiently for what he would say or do to train her. I wish he would treat it more as a date… now is not the time for training. Kilniara stifled a sigh but waited dutifully.
She felt his fingers slip across the back of her hands as they curled up to cup her hand and she copied him, uncertain how to properly hold hands, but he did nothing. A few times, she felt his fingers brush across the back of her hand and she replied in the same way, but he said nothing nor did anything. She firmly kept her eyes in front of her, but was surprised to find her awareness so fully conscious of her hand, focusing as much as possible on it, growing flustered as she became ever more aware of his touch and found her eyes drifting repeatedly towards him.
When she did so, Joe looked down at her and smiled brilliantly once again before squeezing her hand. He glanced back up to the road before looking down at her and simply stared into her eyes. She felt her heart thud, surprised by how her body was reacting and felt her scales ripple across her entire body as every single one zoilshaed, raising tiny bumps across her entire body before flushing a brilliant red. Her lips parted in a gasp and she whipped her head away to hide her gaze and face, dropping her head down slightly so her hair could flow across and hide her from his sight.
Joe interrupted her thoughts while trying to pull his hand away, “Did I bother you? I’m sorry. Is this too fast? I did not wish to offend you as…”
Kilniara felt his hand slipping away, his fingers unlacing from between her fingers and she quickly clenched, holding tightly on to his hand and arresting it’s retreat with the help of her other hand while interrupting his quick words with a shake of her head and the clenching of her hands. She took a deep shuddering breath as she collected herself, her entire body vibrating with an energy that overwhelmed her, shocking her with its intensity. I’ve never touched a man before… no… I’ve touched hundreds as a tailor. I even held hands this morning, but never… never… ooh… Her excitement spiked with the realization, and the energy seemed to buzz through her whole body, vibrating it even faster, as the realization that this was a romantically intended touch seemed to enhance everything.
“So then... hand holding is a confession?” Kilniara asked quietly, her voice soft against the susurration of the background noise.
Joe stopped, unmoving and stared at her for a moment, and she became concerned so looked up at him, her fear deeply hidden behind a face she schooled as best she could, although it still burned with excited energy.
“Ah… I… Did I not explain it correctly? I’m sorry. For where I am from, holding hands is a sign of affection one gives to another. Parents can do so for their young children, to some extent, although that is more for safety. But what we are doing… what I mean to do is … uh… two people will show affection for one another by holding hands.”
“No, it... I just wanted clarity. You stated it was?”
“Ah… no?”
“Oh,” Kilniara desperately tried to hide her disappointment that rushed through her.
“It can be, but … not for us.”
Kilniara, already crushed under her disappointment, held in her thoughts. Her hopes had been too high for her to claim such a man, although receiving a small portion of attention he was willing to give was still a great boon so rallied her thoughts to seek her happiness in what she gained.
Joe seemed to have paused, staring at her and concern swept across his face. He reveals himself so easily. The powerful truly do not need to fear the weak. At least he is concerned for me. He seems…
Her thoughts were interrupted by Joe, “I think I’m missing something here. What is a confession?”
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Kilniara smiled softly, hiding her disappointment but obviously unable to do so as he seemed to have easily captured her emotional cues, “A confession is when someone tells another they like them or … uh… love them… deeply … They are seeking them and wish to claim them.”
“Oh… is that like a proposal?”
“Proposal?”
“Um… after a pair have been seeing each other for some time and believe that they are good for each other… compatible… then … well.. usually the man will do this, not the woman... but the man will ask if the girl is willing to marry them. Um… I guess since were defining terms. Marry means to permanently attach yourself to one another and promise to care for, love and help one another forever… well… I guess technically until death, but…”
“Oh… then… hmm… no… a confession is not a proposal.”
“Hm… then it’s a way to tell another that they like them and would like to spend… Ooh! I know the old word. They seek to court the other.”
“Yes! A confession is revealing a desire to court the other individual.”
“OK… yeah… then no. Holding hands doesn’t usually mean a confession, although it can, I guess… in an unusual way. I don’t think that applies to us, though. We already confessed, didn’t we? Or am I… did I m… was there a mistake?”
Kilniara felt her heart stop, her mind blanking at Joe’s claim of confession as her breath froze in her lungs before escaping in a gasp from her lips, “When!”
Kilniara felt herself freeze once again when she realized what she’d said, head whipping away and dropping to pull the veil of her hair across her face. Behind her, she felt and heard Joe’s chuckle, then felt some hand’s slip in around her body, coming to rest in a deeply intimate and blood burning wash across her abdomen.
“I do not wish to offend. I am hoping to comfort. You seem… I … Didn’t we confess the other night when you came to my bed and sought me out? I’m sorry that my rejection seemed to have hurt you, but I believe we spoke about exploring a relationship with one another. For my people, I guess, it… well… yeah… for my people, that would be considered a confession. And your actions in seeking my company in bed would have been a confession as well… well… maybe. I guess technically some men and women just seek sex without any desire for a confession, as well as prostitutes and … ok… anyway… I’ll shut up now.
“Basically, my understanding was that we already both confessed to one another. Am I wrong to think that? Or do I need to do multiple confessions? What… how should I do this?”
Kilniara felt her heart thudding like stampeding wild beasts, her breath panting from her lips as if she’d run without stop for hours, her mind whirling over what had been said and wildly failing to compress the wild emotions that seemed to rampage through her body. She found herself leaning back against his torso, finding his wide chest so strange compared to the slim bodies of her brother and father but somehow still incredibly desirable.
“Kilniara?”
“Ah.. yeah… um…I…”
Joe’s arms tightened around her body, while his hands flattened against her abdomen, “Let me make it easier for you, Kilniara. May I.. wait.. uh… right…. Probably better.” Joe interrupted himself and then cleared his throat, an incredibly odd experience as her people could not do so, and the deep rumbling that vibrated from his torso into her back seemed to soothe her. “One more time. Kilniara. I seek to court you. Would you give me the honor?”
Kilniara’s eye’s widened in shock as realization washed away all the strange sensations of his rumbling vibrating torso, tight arms, and incredibly warm, wide, hands spread against her belly. She whipped herself around in his embrace, her cheeks, no… her entire face now flaming red as she realized that he’d been basically hugging her, but found she couldn’t care at all as she looked up into his face, finding his lips pulled upwards in a subtle but confident smile.
Kilniara stared at him for a few moments before nodding fiercely, her own face red with embarrassment and joy while also completely unable to hold back her own dazzling smile. Joe looked into her own eyes as well, and she soon found herself trapped in them, neither moving nor speaking for what felt like eternity. She soon found herself drawing closer to him as his face came down towards hers. Her eyes widened as she realized he was seeking a kiss but found that she did not care, caught in the intensity of the moment and not wishing to escape. His face continued towards hers before he seemed to grasp a hold of himself, stopping by pressing his forehead against hers instead, a deep shuddering breath tearing through his frame.
“I really want to kiss you right now, but I somehow think doing it in the middle of the street would likely not be something you want,” Joe chuckled softly.
When Joe mentioned the street, her whole body stiffened then leapt backwards as realization slapped across her thoughts like a damp fetid towel. Her eyes glanced rapidly around, finding some relief and shame in equal measure as she realized most people simply walked around them, more annoyed at their blocking of traffic than ogling them, although there were enough shopkeepers and other stationary folk who were avidly watching them.
When she’d leapt back, Joe had opened his arms, allowing her to escape his embrace into a modicum of dignity, although he did not allow her to escape his grasp, his hands now resting on her hips and encircling her torso in a broad grasp that was quite a bit smaller in length than her father’s and mother’s hands, but seemed so much wider, thicker, and warmer, making the presence of his hands on her torso so much more vivid, burning their existence into her thoughts so completely that it was difficult for her to think on anything else.
Despite this, she realized that he was simply steadying her, and she arranged herself before turning and walking once more. His hands dropped from her torso, slipping to his sides and he joined her but did not reach out to hold her hand again. She still felt the burning sensation of his warmth of his palm, and found her hand seeking out his, wanting it against her hand once again. How is such a simple…! I… I want…
Her hand drifted back and forth, desire warring with embarrassment until the inn came into sight and embarrassment overwhelmed desire as she realized her fellow apprentices and brother would be there. Watching.
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