Chapter Fifty

Joe woke in the morning feeling OK, although not as rested as he’d felt before, a sense of unsettled agitation running through his mind and since he had plenty of time in the morning, he let himself ooze back into the bedding and settling his mind to consider where this feeling came from. His mind wandered through everything when the cold realization came to him, and he remembered the five men he’d killed. His breathing quickly began to spike and flashes of memory of the event and previous nightmares came to him once again, as well as a couple new memories that blanched his face and left him panicking a bit more than normal. Where did thos… oh… probably a new dream!

Joe felt his fear quickly calm with the understanding of another nightmare. Well… at least I was able to sleep through it this time? Should I… Joe felt himself shudder and then calmed himself as he quickly shifted to what he had to do for the day. Can’t forget! Gotta run to the temples this morning again, maybe even check out the guilds for a partier to increase our party size, maybe… Joe’s thoughts came to a halt and he took a deep breath. I can’t keep putting this off. I need … Joe dropped his thoughts with a sigh and brought himself to calm. Might as well get it done now. He knew he had to confront the problem and decided to spend the morning coming to terms with this.

Joe pushed himself up from the bed and prepared himself for the morning, using the old water in the wash basin from last night to clean himself up. He’d all but accepted the necessity but couldn’t forget how revolted he’d felt when he’d first washed himself with the old water.

After splashing his face with the tepid water, he settled into an easy seated posture and calmed his thoughts while bringing the matter to the forefront of his mind. He took deliberate moments for each of the men he killed, bringing the memory each to mind. He first spent time deliberately bringing each face to mind, remembering them carefully then juxtaposing each moment the arrows struck home. Recalling the killing blows shook him several times, but he took calming breaths and continued before he finally brought to mind one last image: the men as the snuck up on the family and Garnedell, the look of utter concentration and complete lack of remorse as they prowled forward. As he remembered and reinforced who they were and what they had intended to do, Joe felt his heart calm, the narrative in his mind changing to one of defense.

They were killers. You were defending. And you didn’t fail, everyone was saved. I took lives, but did no wrong. Any wrong that might have been done, I forgive myself. Joe took the next moments to repeat the series, remembering each moment, accepting it as happened, but also accepting the choices he had to make in the moment and soon coming to accept his decision and the results.

After a significant time of introspection, Joe felt much more at peace and while he knew that he had, in no way, resolved the issue, he also knew that he had taken significant steps to calming his heart.

Taking another several moments to return from his meditation, he soon brought himself to awareness and stretched before setting himself to his morning stretches, soon losing himself in them. There were a few moments when the outside world intruded on him, but nothing triggered fear or warning so he continued his katas. When he finally became aware of his surroundings, he noticed the other three mimicking his movements. Taking a moment to watch the other three flow through their movements, Joe moved from practitioner to teacher and stepped out to watch the other three, guiding movements, correcting postures and poses, and offering short three or four word sentences of advice.

This morning, they actually spent quite a bit more time on their practice as Joe’s calm gave him a peace that allowed him to relax into the teaching. When the morning light flooded the room, Joe brought the morning to a close.

“Alright. We had a good morning practice. Let’s head to breakfast.”

Variations of “Yes, Master,” and “Yes, Joe,” called out from the other three, and Joe kicked everyone out to let Kilniara to clean herself up first before she slipped downstairs to get breakfast ordered for all three. Joe and the other two bickered good naturedly as they washed up and they soon found themselves downstairs meandering through the tables to reach the one Kilniara sat at. Luckily, their late start had the common room mostly empty and they had the pick of the tables. Although… wonder if the food will be cold! Hope not…

They settled into their seats to have their meal, eating quickly without speaking much until the meal was done. All four settled back at almost the same time and then a small giggle seemed to erupt from all four simultaneously as they glanced back and forth at each other.

Joe chuckled, “Jinx! You owe me a …” Joe trailed off, his humor dropping as he realized he was never getting another soda but shook himself free from his bad mood, “Never mind. You guys don’t know what that is. It’s just a joke amongst my people for speaking at the same time.”

The other three smiled politely and laughed as well, Garnedell adding his own comment, “Ah, we, too, have a similar phrase, although we say, ‘You’re monster bait.’”

“You’re the monster bait? What does that mean?”

“Hmm… I’m not… Do you two know?” Garnedell cocked his head in confusion as he looked at Zilnek and Kilniara, hoping they might know.

Kilniara nodded, “I know. Many monsters find their prey by sound, so if you make noise, especially in dungeons or in dangerous situations, you will end up as ‘monster bait.’”

“Oh. That makes sense. Are most monsters here only attracted by sound?”

The three looked at each other with some confusion before responding, Garnedell responding first, “Mostly? I think?”

“Yeah, It seems like…” Zilnek began before he was interrupted by Kilniara.

“Yes. Sound is very dangerous with monsters,” Kilniara replied almost at the same time as her brother.

“Hmm… that’s strange. Sound can be important, but there are many creatures that hunt by smell and are quite deadly with smell. Even prey have excellent noses and know when to run when they smell predators or hunters. Some hunt by sight, but mostly it isn’t really sight so much as movement.”

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The other three sat forward, excited, “Monsters can hunt by so many means?”

“Those are what are known amongst my people. There are probably even more here, hunting by magic or sensing life or other such things.”

The other three seemed to shudder in fear a bit while still seeming very interested. Sensing their interest, Joe felt a bit helpless, uncertain how to respond and finally decided to throw it in someone else’s lap.

“I really don’t know so much beyond what I said, and the monsters and creatures that I am seeing here… they are very new to me. But knowing more would be wise. Let’s make sure to ask Kukurnal tonight?”

The other three quickly nodded at that, although Zilnek took a moment to consider before also enthusiastically adding his own agreement. Joe nodded in reply to their excitement and then pushed his chair back, ready to stand and leave.

“Whelp. Let’s head out. I’ll meet you at the dungeon entrance, OK?”

Garnedell quickly nodded in agreement, “Yes, Joe!”

Zilnek also nodded, much later, but Kilniara seemed a bit pensive, looking at Joe with reluctance.

“What’s up, Kilniara?”

“Ah… may I travel with you?”

“You want to come with me?”

“Yes!” Kilniara nodded swiftly.

“Oh. Um… that seems fine. That OK with you two? You go to the dungeon and set us up in line to head in?”

Garnedell quickly nodded at that, agreeing with Zilnek following after.”

“Cool. OK. We’ll meet you there, OK?”

They left the inn together, heading down the street a short distance before splitting off from each other. Joe moved with deliberation, and Kilniara walked by his side, silent but accommodating. Joe eyed her from the side, trying to figure out what she wanted, but she seemed happy to simply walk beside him, and he wondered if she was too worried to speak. He knew that sometimes it was good to just wait, but it seemed like Kilniara wasn’t to going to bring anything up.

Finally, Joe grew a bit impatient waiting and asked, “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

Kilniara jerked her head towards him, head cocking while she looked back, “Talk?”

“You asked to walk with me. I assume you need to ask me something?”

“Oh… no. I have nothing to ask.”

Joe paused, considering for a moment as they walked almost a half a block before he decided he had to ask, “Then why did you ask to come with me?”

It was Kilniara’s turn to be a bit surprised, a teasing smile gracing the corner of her lips, “Mmm. You do not wish me by your side?”

“Huh? No. It’s fine, but I’m just trying to figure out why?”

“You said before. You wish to know me… better. To grow our relationship,” Shrugging, she continued, “I believed walking with you and having conversation would help.”

Joe chuffed, a quick laugh, but turned his head away as he turned a bit pink in the cheeks before looking back and noticing her own pink cheeks as well. He said nothing but soon found himself staring into her eyes, taking in the alien angular sharpness of her face with the reddish tinge to cheeks also as visible as he felt his own cheeks were. His smile grew even as hers did as well before she glanced down and away, shy, with hair draping forward across her face. As it brushed across her face, she reached up naturally and brushed her fallen locks behind and ear before looking up once more and returning his smile with a brighter one of her own.

Joe smiled brighter in response before quickly taking a glance around, awareness of surroundings crashing back down on him and nodded towards the temple square, “Let’s keep moving or we'll jam the road here.”

Kilniara offered a laugh of her own, nodding, before turning and forcing herself to keep from skipping lightly, stuttering back into a normal walk while Joe took a couple long steps to reach her side. The two walked down the road another two or three steps before Joe looked over at her and reach across, clasping her hand.

“Do you mind?”

Kilniara looked over in response, shaking her head no then nodding yes before blushing and replying verbally, “No. I do not mind.”

His hand slipped in to hers, his fingers sliding across her palm and caressing fingers, palm, and back of the hand. Joe found himself enjoying the smooth texture of her hands and fingers, but was most enthralled by the slick smooth small hard scales that peppered the back of her hand. His found his thumb and pinky rapidly becoming addicted to the slick, almost frictionless, feel of the scales as he brushed them. Not wanting to distract himself too much from actually engaging with Kilniara, Joe started up a conversation.

“Do your people hold hands?”

“Hold hands? Sometimes we do so. It isn’t… it isn’t too strange, but it isn’t something we often do.”

“Oh. What does holding hands mean?”

“Nothing really.”

“Hmm… who holds hands then?”

“Most often parents and children.”

“Adults do not?”

“No. Not that I have seen.”

“Hm… interesting. Do you wish me to stop then?”

“Mm… it is not discomforting, but can you tell me why?”

“Um… well, amongst my people, it’s a way of expressing romantic interest and to have two people who are in love… a… romantically desiring one another? Maybe? Yeah… It’s a way for two to show their love for one another. Those who are just beginning or who have long been lovers and married will do so. It’s a way to share more than simply words, but even physical contact.”

“Lovers hold hands?”

“Lovers, yes, but also lesser, such as those who are simply starting or seeking the beginning of a relationship and wish to express or be closer to one another.”

“It… seems strange.”

“You do not like it?” Joe asked and began to pull his hand away.

“No!” Kilniara shouted, then calmed herself and continued, “No. I… it is enjoyable, but it is just not something I have seen… I actually like it.” Kilniara replied, slipping in closer to him before bumping into him, then stepping away shyly.

Joe smiled and replied with his own shoulder bump, which tumbled her away quite a bit more than Joe was expecting and he tugged her back with his arm, “Oh! Sorry! I didn’t mean… I’m not used to worrying about my stats. Bumping shoulders is common also. It’s usually a sign of endearment or sometimes a mild grumpy complaint. Are you OK? I didn’t mean…”

“I’m OK. Although bumping you was like hitting a wall! Your strength…”

Joe smiled, nodding, “Make sure to teach me how to be very careful in my physical interactions with you. I do not wish to harm you.”

Kilniara looked up at Joe as he finished with a smirk, and offered a quirked eyebrow in response, “So, now I am your teacher?”

“You can teach me much. Honestly. Everyone can learn something from everyone,” Joe ended with a shrug.

Kilniara dropped into silence at that, mind thinking carefully for several moments as they walked before looking back up at Joe and smiling. Joe caught Kilniara’s glimpse and glanced at her, smiling brightly as he caught her eyes.

They walked for another few dozen steps before Kilniara began speaking again, “So holding hands is a sign of love?”

Joe smiled and looked back, “Or the beginning of possibility. It is often the first step in a new relationship. In a mature developed relationship, it’s a sign of love. In a new one, such as ours, it’s a sign of hope or possibility for such.”

“So this is hope?”

Joe smiled, flicking a glance at her but said nothing. As they came into the temple square, Joe took in the next temple in line to do his job change, leading Kilnaira towards it but then realized that while he had his cloak to cover him, Kilniara would be an obvious way to identify him and so came to a halt outside his chosen temple.

“Sorry. I need to go incognito, and two people are easier to identify than one, and you are not even wearing a cloak,” Joe spoke as he flipped his cloak up and over, covering his head and face in deep shadow, “Do you mind waiting here? I’ll be right back in only a couple seconds.”

Kilniara nodded happily, smiling and waving him in, “I’ll wait here!”

“Thanks. I should be right back!”

Joe nodded in thanks and slipped inside, heading to the job change counter. Right. Virtus Theorist is done. Got three more to go. So what’s next. OOH! Magus Theorist! Sweet! Let’s figure out magic!

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