Despite that, it wasn’t exactly pleasant although he’d taken much worse so it didn’t really bother him and he turned to Gwenvair. He did take the time, however, to ground the butt of the spear a bit behind himself so that the goblin, who was right handed, would end up striking the spear shaft most of the time instead of him. He then focused on Gwenvair.

“Hey… Hey hey hey! Relax. I’m not going to let you get hurt. And besides, you can see that he’s really not that strong and it really doesn’t hurt that much. See?”

Gwenvair stared at Joe and the goblin striking him and her fear only seemed to grow even more. Joe bit his lips to hide his grimace, uncertain how to continue but a bit miffed. Guess the princess syndrome exists even in fantasy land! Joe hid his disappointment and annoyance behind a polite façade and tried again.

“OK. Then let’s try this. Hit me.”

Gwenvair took a bit to snap out of it, the incongruity of the situation seemed to be enough to wrench her thoughts out of whatever spiral they’d been in, “What?!”

“Hit me. Hit me with your half-staff. Go ahead.”

Gwenvair looked at Joe, then she looked behind him at the goblin striking him from behind, then back at Joe before her fear and shock gave way to surprised anger, “You are getting attacked by a goblin and you want me to attack you!? What are you? Some kind of monster? How can you just stand there and let a monster hit you! It’s not…”

Joe cut her off, smiling brightly, “Ah… welcome back, princess. Good to have your return.”

Gwenvair’s tirade cut off in the middle, her eye’s shifting as her thought’s processed Joe’s statement before she finally was able to reply, most of it a spluttering mess of incoherent gibberish before she was able to give a decent reply.

“You… you… how …” this continued for a few more moments before she sighed and continued, “How can you just let a monster hit you?”

Joe shrugged, “It doesn’t hurt that much. Sure, it stings, but it’s really not that big a deal.”

“But… it’s…” She trailed off, unable to continue her thought.

By this time, the two boys had finished their goblin and were now staring over at Joe being literally spanked by a goblin. Joe found all four staring at Joe with some shock tinged with a bit of fear and Joe realized that there was something else going on and Joe took the time to consider it. Are they not used to being hit? Is there… Joe found it a bit concerning.

“Garnedell. Zilnek. Come on over.”

The two boys quickly shook off their shock and ran over to Joe.

“You have been in fights before, yes?”

Joe asked the two boys and both nodded quickly.

“Punched or kicked each other or other boys?”

Both quickly nodded and Joe continued, “Ever had a boy pick up a stick and smack you with it?”

Both grimaced but nodded, Garnedell nodding vigorously, “Yes… and it’s not very pleasant at all, Joe.”

“No. It really doesn’t feel good.”

Both nodded, Zilnek chiming in with a “No.”

“But did it kill you?”

Both quickly shook their heads and then suddenly seemed to consider for a bit, thoughts churning as they took in the goblin and Joe standing there being hit by the stick. Joe saw them grow thoughtful and allowed them their time to consider before continuing the lesson.

“Look at the size of the goblin. Look at the size of the stick. Now, if it was a kid instead of an ugly yellow booger, would you be worried about him?”

The two took a bit of time to consider before shaking their head carefully although Garnedell replied quickly, “I would not be worried about a kid, Joe. But a monster is much stronger.”

Joe nodded, “Yes, usually. Are dungeon monsters weaker than out in the wilds?”

Garnedell thought for a bit before nodding, “They can be, but not by much. They do seem to be lifeless and … less, somehow.”

Joe turned to look at the goblin. He watched it for a bit but couldn’t figure out what they meant although what he was seeing appeared to be pretty dumb. The thing just kept swinging its stick at him without any effect. The goblin’s sharp fangs and claws, however, remained unused and ultimately useless.

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“Garnedell. Come here.”

Garnedell walked up and Joe thought for a bit before he continued, “Can you show me your status really quickly?”

Garnedell nodded quickly and brought up his status. Joe glanced at his HP then raised an eyebrow when he noticed that Garnedell had actually dinged, gaining a level, “Oh. Hey… you made it to level eighteen. Congratulations.”

Garnedell nodded brightly, “Yes! Just this morning!”

Joe laughed, “Pretty good! It’s only going to get worse though!”

Garnedell’s face dropped but then firmed, “I know. But I can do it, Master.”

Joe jerked his head towards Garnedell but found him unrepentant, his smile brilliant.

“You really are a master, Joe. Maybe… some things don’t match for your world… but … here.”

Joe sighed and shook his head. He failed to hide his smile at Garnedell’s joke and affirmation but said nothing, too happy to see that Garnedell was willing to express a bit of personal choice and snark.

“You know your options, right? Probably a good time… going to be a long wait.”

Garnedell considered, nodding but ultimately rejected Joe’s hint, “I… will… just still thinking.”

Joe grinned, “Don’t want to think too long… you’ll never make a decision.”

“I know… I promise… soon.”

Joe thought a bit but then dropped it, not wanting to push too much, but actually smiling because he could see Garnedell was serious about it, “No… I can see. You’re really thinking about it carefully. Thank you.”

Garnedell grinned, “Yeah, I am.”

“Good… then… hmm… well, your HP is pretty good, so let me teach you all something real quick. Garnedell, go ahead and put your arm in front of the goblin’s stick.”

Garnedell paled at Joe’s comment and Joe looked at him and then sighed with a bit of exasperation. He turned to the goblin and booted it with his foot hard. It sailed across the air a good three or four meters before tumbling for another good two meters. It leapt to its feet and screeched once again even as it tore its way across the ground towards Joe. Joe prepared himself but waited for the right time before burying his spear into the goblins belly and lifted it into the air transferring the momentum of its rush to help raise it then held it in the air where it remained skewered on his spear. He then used his spear come goblin-headed hammer to smash the thing into the ground, head first. He had to angle and manage his strike carefully so as to not send the goblin slipping off the end of his spear from the centripetal force, but managed to do so by turning the strike into a fall aided by a push from his body rather than a swing with his body as an anchor.

The thing splattered hard against the ground and died immediately. He grimaced in some disgust at the splatter and waited for the dungeon to reabsorb the goblin body and blood before walking out to get the stick. He picked it up gingerly before looking it over carefully and making sure it was clean before turning back to the other four. He walked up to them, still looking the stick over before glancing up at them.

He found all four staring at him with some awe and he shook his head, laughing and sighing, “That wasn’t as impressive as that looked. The goblin pretty much killed itself. This is why intelligent beings will always beat animals and the unintelligent if the intelligent have enough time to prepare and make appropriate tools. You all could have done the same thing with enough training.”

This last statement seemed to galvanize all of them except for Gwenvair, who appeared to grow ever more fearful and surprised, although the fear also seemed to be tinged with excitement and a hint of hope.

“So… ready to get back to this?”

All four nodded and Joe leaned down to pick up the stick that the goblin had been using. He slapped himself in the legs a few times, slowly increasing the speed until it hit about as hard as the goblin had hit him. He slapped the front of his thighs a few times as well to make sure before beckoning Garnedell over to him.

“Right. Stick out your leg.”

Garnedell did so and Joe slapped the stick down on his leg without warning. Garendell jumped and leapt back, crying out a bit and looking up at Joe with some surprise and anger before rubbing his leg a bit and hopping backwards before standing once the HP had removed the damage and sting.

“Was it that bad?”

Garnedell growled a bit, “It hurt!”

“Yes… did you lose a leg?”

Garnedell blinked and looked down at his leg, then back up, “No?”

“Did you even lose any HP?”

Garnedell quickly opened his status and found his HP still existent, although he didn’t know what it was. Joe glanced at it and noticed he had lost almost half his HP, which was quite startling to him and worried him but wasn’t too concerning as Garnedell still had his natural resistance even if his HP fell and a stick across the leg or arm stung and left no lasting damage of any kind.

Joe continued, “Is it hurting?”

Garnedell shook his head.

“Did you die?”

Again, a shake.

“Is it too much to handle?”

Garnedell shook his head again and Joe nodded then turned to the others.

“You need to learn what is dangerous and what is not. This stick … it’s not dangerous at all, unless maybe you get this poked in your eye. Otherwise, it will sting you, nothing more. It might even give you a scratch… maybe, but that’s about the worst it will do; maybe break skin. You can’t be worried about this. A goblin with this stick is harmless.

“Now! If the goblin had a spear or sword, that is very dangerous. Or even if the goblin had no weapon at all! That would be much more dangerous than just this stick! The goblin’s claws and fangs would easily hurt you and then you would slowly die as you lose blood! But this stick? It is nothing.

“Who’s next?”

Kilniara, Zilnek,and Gwenvair stare at him with some shock, eyes wide as Joe holds the stick in front of them. He then began slapping his own arms, hands, and legs.

“Look. It’s not even hurting me.”

Gwenvair snapped at that, “You’re an eccentric with seven digits of HP! Nothing can hurt you.”

“You think this is not painful to me?” Joe asked Gwenvair while staring at her.

Gwenvair blinked, thoughtful and confused, replying hesitantly, “No?”

“It hurts! It hurts quite a bit, but it’s not going to do much damage to me! Even if my HP was Zero, it wouldn’t really hurt me! You can see…”

Joe cut off with that, realizing that that might be the best proof he could offer and he walked back to the bags where he pulled out a rather large knife. He then opened up his status and kept his eyes on his HP before he stabbed himself in the gut.

Joe groaned, quickly pulling out his knife and breathed a sigh of relief when the wound quickly disappeared. Joe took another deep breath and noticed that his HP had only dropped by about an eighth and moaned before rearing back to stab himself again.