"So, the premise is... a little convoluted, actually, but that's mostly details," Dean said. "The simple version is this: there's a sort of hidden fantasy world behind the curtain of reality, and in that world, the most powerful force in magic is words and meaning. Binding oaths, starbound prophecies, and all sorts of other magic words rule everything. And then we're introduced to Joseph Norman, our protagonist, who is an anarchic screwball who can tap into a little-known and much-feared source of magic called The Void, which fundamentally does not care what people say or think. A magical oath might literally stop anyone else from doing stuff that'd break it, but Joe Norman can just do it and say 'what? I lied. People do that, sometimes.'"

"Alright," I said, nodding slowly. "I've... heard that it's a harem anime?"

"It has the shape of one," Dean said, "but it isn't one, and anyone who says it is one is either an idiot or a liar."

The two of us were hanging out at Dean's house. It was Wednesday afternoon- Dean apparently was one of the kids who was in the afterschool jobs program that had him doing half days, leaving after lunch to go to a part-time job, which, on Wednesday, let him go pretty early so he could do silly little things like 'have a life' or whatever.

"And... in what ways does it differ?"

"See, in a traditional harem anime, the protagonist is kind of a hapless dipshit, to whom the harem shenanigans simply happen," Dean said. "However, in Chain of Thorns, Joseph Norman is a legitimately competent and charismatic guy who typically does things on purpose, and it just so happens that many of his friends are attractive women, some of whom it's heavily implied are banging him off-screen every now and then, in a casual way."

"I see," I said, nodding. "So, there are hot chicks- waifus, if you will- and the protagonist does have close and positive personal relationships with them, but... it's not really a harem situation, they're all just horny twenty-somethings who casually sleep around, sometimes with their friends?"

"Pretty much. But, well, that's easy to mistake for a harem, especially for people who really wanna pretend that Norman isn't canonically bisexual."

"...What."

See, engaging someone and performing active listening while they talk about a story they're really invested in isn't hard. You do have to actually listen to them, and form reasonable questions to ask to prompt them to keep going, or elaborate on something you're legitimately curious about, but... well, just take an interest in people. Cultivate a receptiveness to their infectious enthusiasm. It's hard, and my failure to do that was what destroyed my social life like two weeks ago, but hey, I was learning.

"So, let me tell you about Joseph Napoleon, his rival, who it is explicitly shown on-screen was once Norman's lover. Or, at least, we've seen them kiss on-screen, and there's not exactly a reasonable heterosexual explanation for that."

"I... well, fair enough," I said. "I will concede that, yeah, bisexual men don't really get treated with any amount of dignity by pop culture. I mean, fuck, just look at how Freddie Mercury is remembered."

"Oh, absolutely," Dean said, nodding. "Or- there's this one interview with David Bowie, where they ask if he's bisexual, he says yes, and they ask what he really means by that, what he's hiding, and he just says 'I answered the question, we're moving on.' People are more willing to accept the notion that a dude exclusively likes other men than they are to accept that a guy likes men and women, and it's the stupidest thing ever."

"Truth," I said, nodding. "Fuck, even with other queer people, it still happens sometimes. You'd think they would know better, but it turns out, just because someone got a pretty strong reason to step back and question their assumptions about sexuality, doesn't mean they actually did that."

"Mhm." Dean nodded. "...Incidentally, I do have a girlfriend, so."

"I'm not actually convinced I'm bisexual," I said. "There's... something going on there, that definitely doesn't feel straight, but... I definitely prefer women, I'm pretty sure."

It wasn't unreasonable for Dean to assume I was bisexual, based on the conversation. While it was entirely possible that I was simply a well-informed heterosexual ally- which I had thought I was at first- it was far more likely that I knew all this stuff about how bisexuality in men was perceived in the West because I personally had some fucking skin in the game.

Which, well. I kinda did. Still wasn't totally sure how yet, but... thinking about it, the fact my past lives are all trans women named Rose does suggest something that, uh. I am not going to live out openly in the Nazi capital of the Northeastern United States.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

"Fair enough," Dean said. "Well, in the interest of transparency, I am pretty sure I'm bisexual, so..." He shrugged.

"I guess you feel pretty attached to Norman, what with him being an obviously bisexual guy who... hopefully, at least... isn't bisexual solely for a tasteless joke?"

"Kinda, yeah, but... also in other ways, which get deeper into the themes of the show," Dean said. "See, the whole Void, chaos magic thing isn't just a fun toy to let Norman stomp all over the other wizards with their words of power. It's a fun trick that does get used two or three times a season for a big dramatic fight, but there is a deeper thematic meaning to it. Norman's whole Prince of Void shtick-" I know I've heard that somewhere, I know it. "-is a conscious rejection of bullshit societal norms. An explicit acknowledgment that social constructs are just that- constructs, stuff that we made up, and that we can and should throw them out when they're no longer helpful. Which... well, y'know. I'm trying to learn that lesson, too." He sighed.

"Alas, 'socially constructed' doesn't mean 'not real,'" I said, nodding. "Throwing them away in real life is a lot harder than having a bombastic anime fight about it."

"Eyup."

Dean's phone blared an alarm, and he sighed.

"Alright, well, I better start doing my homework. You're welcome to watch if you really want to, but... well, you probably don't want to watch me do history homework, so..."

"I'll see myself out," I said. "It was good talking to you."

"You too. We should do this again sometime. Maybe next time you can meet Victoria."

"Maybe," I said. "Take care."

----------------------------------------

Friday afternoon came, and I got out of the house once again, finding myself at a new destination... that was, however, still just someone's house.

"I'm Joe Norman," I said, offering my hand.

"Victoria Dallon," she said, taking my hand-

I saw her entire personal timeline, but focused, at least for the first few moments, on every bad thing that had ever happened to her.

I saw every shitty thing Victoria's parents ever did to her, every shittier thing they did to her sister while Victoria sat back and watched. Every missed event because hero business was more important than parenting. The horrendously mortifying screwup at the one event they did show up to, that ended up giving her powers. Every snide comment Dean's parents had made in her presence.

The time three days ago when she'd wanted a honey bun from the vending machine and realized she left her wallet at home.

The time she'd had a deeply acrimonious argument and a three-week breakup with Dean that started with "no, you can't hold my dick while I pee" and just spiraled from there.

"You must be Dean's new boyfriend," Victoria continued, bringing me back to the present moment.

"Victoria, no," Dean said.

"Oh come on, I gave you explicit permission," Victoria said. "What's a girl gotta do to get a threesome, huh?"

The notion of having sex with Victoria was... oddly enough, kind of disgusting, to me. I mean, okay, she was pretty, blonde, outgoing, had a nice figure... but just... She looked like a kid to me, despite the fact that she was a few months older. Was this the work of my hallucinations? Was I only going to be attracted to people who were too old to be dating a high schooler? I mean, okay, I wasn't gonna stay this young forever, but... fuck, man.

"I'm pretty sure asking bisexual people for a threesome is generally considered rude," I said, instead of giving voice to the deeply undiplomatic truth of 'I don't want to sleep with you.'

"Yes, exactly," Dean said. "Stop it."

"Ugh, fine, but it's not my fault you brought him to my house on a Friday night," Victoria said.

So this is what I seemed like to my old friends- desperately, unpleasantly, and boundary-crossingly horny.

"I'm pretty sure Dean just wanted someone present to justify his latest rewatch of Chain of Thorns," I said dryly. "Either that, or he wanted me to wingman for him with my guitar while he reads a love poem."

"If I was going to, I've definitely changed my mind," Dean said dryly.

"Wait, you have a guitar?" Victoria asked, ignoring Dean. "What can you play?"

"Mostly a bunch of Spanish and Mexican-inspired stuff," I said. "I've got a few of the classic rock staples that every self-taught guitarist learns, but... mostly Southwestern stuff."

"Ooooh, show me, show me."

"Let's maybe get out of the entryway and sit down first," Dean said.

Victoria nodded, and flew- literally, she could fly- up the stairs, and Dean led me up to what was, apparently, a second living room, which seemed more... kid-oriented, with a cabinet under the TV full of game consoles, and shelves covered in action figures and plushies. Oddly enough, as I looked closer, all of the toys on display seemed to be superhero merchandise, which was... uh... I mean, expected of a family of superheroes, but also just a little bit worrying.

But, well. I wasn't playing for the Alexandria plush with a weird brown crusty stain on one eye that was almost definitely ketchup. I was playing for the girl sitting on the couch, staring eagerly at the guitar as I pulled it out of my backpack and began to pluck out a tune that was more Deep South than Southwest.

And, since I was playing for an eagerly attentive audience... no point sticking to the instrumental stuff, yeah?

"Well I'm gonna scrawl my name on the bare bones of the earth. I'm gonna dig my heels into the ground. Cause when that ferryman comes for to tally up my worth, I won't leave much to find that can be found."

I had no idea if Ryan Ike was real, or if Where The Water Tastes Like Wine was real either, but... if they were, then that's where I was getting this from, and at some point, I'd have to thank them.

For now... I had friends to entertain.