"Christ on a bike, those two are like a perpetual motion machine," I said.

"God, tell me about it," Uzume said.

Two weeks ago, I'd brought Tsukiumi home, and- after Miya explained how things worked, both for Sekirei in general and for people intending to live under her roof- gave her a single, solitary kiss, winging her and tying her fate... ostensibly to mine.

"I sure fucking can tell you about it," I said, stretching and rolling my shoulders as I soaked in the onsen. Miya hadn't quite been prepared for the fact that she'd be hosting a lesbian Ashikabi, but had powered through to fulfill her ordained role in the show's premise nonetheless, and set it as a house rule that I was not allowed in the bathhouse at the same time as my Sekirei- but, of course, Uzume was fine, because she was already in a committed relationship with someone else. "I'm their Ashikabi. I'm not a mind-reader just yet, but I do still just know things about what they want, what they'd be okay with, all that jazz."

"Hoo boy," Uzume said, shamelessly eyeballing my boobs. Which, y'know what? She's not my Sekirei. She doesn't have any obligation to coddle my feelings. That there wordless declaration of 'hey, nice tits,' from one dyke to another? That was all her, and it was all the sweeter and more validating for it. "You're about to tell me something freaky, aren't you?"

"Tsukiumi is not at all interested in me as a partner," I said simply. "Oh, she doesn't mind me, she even kind of likes me, just a bit. But she is obsessed with Musubi. Musubi is, to Tsukiumi, the absolute best Sekirei, and while that's just straightforwardly very gay, then enters Tsukiumi's pride, her drive to be the best. Musubi is the best, so Tsukiumi constantly has to try to measure up, and do so in a way that Musubi will recognize."

"Oh my god," Uzume said, leaning forward. "You're joking. You have to be. You can't be serious."

"I swear on my mother's bones, may they stay wrapped in her living flesh for another few years before the old lady pops her cork," I promised.

"And how's Musubi feel about all this?"

"Oh, Musubi is absolutely ecstatic to have a training partner who's as driven to improve as she is," I said, snorting. "Miya says I'm on the hook for two rooms worth of rent right now-" Which, thankfully, I was now capable of covering; I had found remote work as a database engineer for a transportation and logistics company in Osaka whose name I actively chose to not remember. "-and boy howdy do Musubi and Tsukiumi make use of it. Oh, sure, sometimes Musubi- and therefore also Tsukiumi- comes to cuddle with me, Matsu, and Akitsu, but most nights? Tsukiumi gets Musubi all to herself."

"So when's the wedding?" Uzume asked.

"That's the interesting thing," I said. "Neither of them realizes they want to fuck the other yet. They both think they're just really into their new dynamic, whether it be worthy rivals or training partners. Matsu and I have a bet going for how long it takes for them to finally kiss each other; she said one month at the most, and now she's got two weeks before she owes me a thousand yen."

"How long did you bet on?" Uzume asked.

"I bet they still wouldn't have figured it out by the time I had to leave this universe, in a little less than a year," I said.

"Hrm..." Uzume rubbed her chin. "Alright. A thousand yen, right? I'll throw my hat in the ring. I bet it'll be... between two and three months, starting from when Tsukiumi moved in."

"Heh, good luck with that," I said. "Those two are denser than lead. But hey, my wallet thanks you for your donation."

I sighed, and sank deeper into the hot spring, letting my eyes close.

"Hey, Rose?" Uzume asked.

"Yeah, Uzume?" I said, eyes still closed.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

"No, you can't borrow Akitsu," I said. "Matsu, however, is totally game for that."

Uzume snorted. "No, not that. It's more... hrm... There... might be..." She sighed. "Fuck, why is this so hard?"

"It saw you naked in the bathhouse, duh," I said, opening my eyes specifically so that Uzume could see me ogling her. After all, fair was fair.

Uzume rolled her eyes. She'd been informed before the first time we shared a bathhouse, and so far was being amazingly normal about the fact that I was trans, and had elected to keep my dick.

"...Y'know what," Uzume said, after a long pause. "Nevermind."

"You sure?" I asked. "Because if you need something from me, I figure I owe you for those playboy bunny costumes you made."

"It's nothing," Uzume lied.

"If you say so," I said.

----------------------------------------

"Ah, hell," I muttered as my phone got hijacked by Minaka once again. "C'mon, I'm eating right now."

It had been a full month, now, since I'd brought Tsukiumi home, and after all that time, I was amused to see that this was the one thing besides Miya that had managed to get her to stop arguing with Musubi for longer than five seconds.

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

"Attention, Ashikabi and Sekirei, one and all," Minaka declared, seemingly ignorant of my sassing. This must've been a broadcast, not a personal call. "Phase One of the Sekirei Plan has come to an end! Now, let's give it up for Phase Two! All Sekirei that may have been abroad have now been recalled to Shinto Teito-"

"Tokyo," we all chorused- and by 'we all,' I meant 'Matsu, Miya, Uzume, Homura, and myself'- in unified correction.

"-and the city has entered lockdown! All travel in and out has been suspended- according to the news, due to a viral outbreak! And naturally, MBI is stepping up to do its civic duty by providing staff and equipment for testing checkpoints for those who absolutely must enter or exit the city."

"Well, I sure am glad I'm used to wearing a respirator outside," I remarked, to everyone's bewilderment.

"This exciting phase of the Sekirei Plan will draw to a close when all remaining Sekirei have been either winged or terminated!" Minaka continued. "And, because some enterprising Ashikabi found a way to do this, no, we will not be rolling back a stage if you manage to un-wing some Sekirei after Phase Two ends."

"Is that what you did?" Homura asked.

"Yep," I said, nodding. "I mean, I did tell you, shortly after it happened."

"I've been busy," he protested.

"Oh, before I forget!" Minaka said. "Now that Phase Two is underway, the Disciplinary Squad has been authorized to enforce the city's lockdown. Any Ashikabi or Sekirei who attempt to escape..." He grinned. "Well, I hope you don't value your lives, because the Disciplinary Squad won't!

"That brings us to the end of my announcement. Until next time!"

My phone went dark, and I groaned.

"I'm not letting him ruin a perfectly good dinner," I said, picking up a gyoza and popping it into my mouth.

The doorbell rang, and I sighed.

"It's always something, in this house," I said as Miya got up to answer it.

"Now you know how we feel about you," Homura said with a grin.

"Fuck you too," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Who on earth is calling on us at this hour?" Tsukiumi wondered aloud.

"A door-to-door encyclopedia salesman," Uzume said.

"My renter's insurance agent," Matsu suggested.

"The plumber we called this morning," Homura added.

"Curs and louts, the lot of you," Tsukiumi grumbled.

"Could be an acquaintance of Miya's," I said. "A few weeks ago, Seo showed up to share some sushi with us, and also stank up the place something fierce. Maybe he's here to do that again?"

"Actually," a new voice said, entering the dining room, "it's me."

I turned and beheld a woman whose general aesthetic was objectively ridiculous, and yet very effective. She was a hammer made of sex appeal, and it sure was pounding my nails.

It wasn't just that she had huge tits- although she definitely did, those things were nearly the size of her head, and definitely the biggest I'd seen in person- or a big ol' cleavage window. Those things helped, but they weren't the full picture. Her legs were long and elegant, helped along by the high heels she wore. Her hair was long, dark, and shining. Her face was refined, and most importantly, mature, the rounded edges of youth gone.

Miya may have been a homemaker with a matronly manner. But this woman, right here? She was the Milf Sekirei.

Also, I need to stress this: just because those fat fucking honkers weren't the only thing going for her didn't mean they weren't incredibly enticing.

"I see we have new faces," she said, looking around at Musubi, Tsukiumi, Akitsu, and me. "I'm Kazehana- an old friend of Miya's. We go way back."

"And now," Miya said warmly, "she's a public obscenity."

Which wasn't totally fair. That incredibly short dress still covered the legal minimum, after all. But, well. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that the incredibly elaborate series of cleavage cutouts didn't make the claim at least somewhat colorable.

"Awww, I love you too, Mi-Mi," Kazehana said. "Now... who are all these new faces?"

"My name is Rose," I said, nodding to her. "I'm an American tourist who became an Ashikabi, and now I'm stuck here. Matsu is the brains, Akitsu and Musubi are the muscle, and Tsukiumi is Musubi's girlfriend."

"Hey!" both Tsukiumi and Matsu protested in unison- Tsukiumi in the more understandable outrage, and Matsu because she felt I was tampering with the bet.

"Our union is very harmonious," I continued as though I hadn't just gotten yelled at by half of my Sekirei.

"This is the one, eh Matsu?" Kazehana asked.

Matsu dropped her anger instantly, and transformed into a giggling, leering lech. "Ufufufu... Matsu-tan has finally found someone just as perverted as she is!"

"I'd object to her describing me that way," I said, "but no, she's right. I'm just capable of being normal about it."

"Hopefully that'll rub off onto Matsu," Kazehana said, as she seated herself next to Uzume. "You know, along with everything else you're rubbing off on her."

"Kazehana-san," Miya said, her cold smile promising a thousand agonies. "Do you perhaps need to be reacquainted with the rules of Izumo Inn?"

"N-no, Miya-sama, I promise!" Kazehana said, all of that cool, languid poise gone in an instant. Glad to see I'm not the only one afraid of this woman. "I'll be good! I'll be good!"

"Anyway," I said. "You missed the announcement. Tokyo's on lockdown, according to Minaka. This insane 'game' of his is in Stage 2, now."

Kazehana sighed. "He used to be better than this..."

"No he wasn't," Matsu said immediately.

"He was always this bad," Miya agreed. "Takehito was just there to stop his worst ideas from going too far, but... well."

"More to my original point," I said, loudly and firmly, "rent here is still only fifty thousand yen a month, if you need somewhere to lay low."

"Oh?" Kazehana asked. "Little ol' me should lay low with an Ashikabi like you?" She gave me a wink.

"That depends on how you mean that," I said. "I've got an idea in the works that'll work a lot better if we can pull it off before Stage 2 ends. Which means, if we have an unwinged Sekirei or two kicking around here where Miya and I can work together to keep them unwinged... well, that'll buy me some more time."

"Iiiiinteresting," Kazehana said, nodding. "Well! I was already planning to see if my old room was still vacant, but now... You have my curiosity, little Ashikabi. I wonder what you'll do with it?"