Two things swiftly became very apparent.
One, both of us were fully immune to any sort of burning damage, and so even when we did land blows on each other with our lightsabers, they didn't accomplish anything.
Two: That was a lie, she wound up like Babe Ruth and managed to knock me through several walls and at least one load-bearing pillar, before I finally landed (after a few bounces) in the big, open lobby, where everyone had cleared out and the big whole-wall windows had all been shuttered.
I used the brief reprieve to switch from a lightsaber to an "ordinary" (read: gigatech ultramaterial) rapier, whereas her sword had simply reverted back to being metal. Now, which would win, a katana or a rapier? Trick question, the fight is between two people with different skills and tactics, and the swords are simply an expression of that. I had no idea which of us was going to win. Based on our brief lightsaber duel, I assumed I'd beat her, as I'd been a bit more skillful than she, but now we were using different weapons, and I was translating the hell out of lightsaber fencing into real rapier fencing.
But, in the time it took me to get back up, change weapons, and assess my odds, she'd come back, and was upon me again, and this time was a bit more defensive, putting actual effort into not getting hit. If my guess was correct... while the both of us were immune to burning, and likely other energy attacks, neither of us had any such thing as "sharp metal in your guts" immunity.
Resistances, perhaps, but not immunities.
I managed to land a glancing blow through her hood, onto... what might have been her cheek? It was in the right place, and my sword did come away red, but her hood had an all-consuming shadow within it, and I simply could not see her face to confirm. She did audibly gasp, though, but...
"Ah, now this is what I mean," Magpie said, pressing and holding me into a blade lock, keeping up the pressure so I couldn't disengage. "You're a real monster, too, just like me. Getting to fight you... ohhhh, I've been waiting for this day for so long! Can you feel it?" She grabbed my hand, and pressed it to her, uh. Pleasantly but also very awkwardly warm and well-padded chest. "The pounding of my heart... The burn of adrenaline... The pure, animalistic passion of a good fight! Ohhh, how I have missed this!"
In another life, I was the Sith Emperor, blessed with an endlessly-growing power with the Force and the ability to practice and increase that power's growth a thousandfold.
Here and now, I told the Force that, while Magpie might currently be here, she really ought to be over there, and the Force complied, heedless of any token protests Magpie might make, or of the potted plant I'd dunked her headfirst into.
"Please, I beg of you, talk like a normal person," I said. "Stop being a deranged pervert about the fact we're trying to kill each other with swords."
"I don't see why I should," Magpie said, hopping back up to her feet, as dirt and terracotta shards tumbled off of her.
Thankfully, she did actually tone it down, and said nothing for at least ten whole seconds once she launched her renewed assault. I continued to nick her here and there, more times than she got me- my power would instantly and automatically heal me, though, and so she might as well be doing nothing to me. But... well, she stopped bleeding pretty quickly too, and I was a little worried I might not be able to wear her down faster than she could heal.
She threw me through the reception desk, and in the interest of ending this before even more of the PRT building got completely trashed, I decided to try and put an end to this as quick as I could. I could stand to take a few hits; I'd recover instantly from anything. Let's see if the same is true of her.
I went on the offensive, for the first time this entire fight.
"Ohhh, now you've got the fire in you!" Magpie crowed, falling onto the back foot as I jabbed and needled at her, managing to block and deflect only half of the jabs I launched; but, as the jabs that landed mostly pierced the edges of her body, never quite managing to land a good, solid hit, I didn't flatter myself to think I was doing anything more than forcing her to get a new costume after this fight.
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Well. Provided she survived it.
She slipped to the side, bringing her sword up to bear, and I did the same, before we both skewered each other- her through the lower belly, and myself through the heart.
"And they say you can't give point with this kind of sword," Magpie said fondly, as we stood there, literally hilted in each other, as blood gushed from our wounds that should have, but currently weren't, killing us. "Mmmm... that was a damn good fight, darling..."
She grabbed my sword hand, and slowly, forcefully, twisted it away, until I had to let go of my sword, and then, humming contentedly, she picked me up, and then slammed me, sword-first, into the floor of the lobby, pinning me there like a taxidermied butterfly.
She then... uh... got down on her hands and knees on top of me... her hips pressing against mine... and suddenly, her hood wasn't filled with shadows anymore. I could see her face, now- hauntingly familiar, save for a mostly-horizontal slash across the top of her right-hand cheek, just below the eye.
"Thank you for the fight, my love," she whispered, in a sweet, genuine voice, before she kissed me.
I didn't know how long it lasted. All I know is that, when I came to, she was gone...
...and I was still pinned to the floor by her fucking sword.
---
"Jesus, Ouroboros," Sergeant Michaels said, once I'd gotten the fucking sword out. "What the fuck was all that? Since when the hell could you fight like that?"
"I don't know," I lied.
"Ouroboros, please be honest with us," Armsmaster said. He'd arrived a minute or so ago, and was apparently part of this impromptu debriefing.
"Stand down, Armsmaster," Piggot ordered. "The boy just went toe-to-toe with Magpie to safely take Calvert into custody. If he doesn't want to talk details, that's his decision, not yours. He's not another one of your Wards to order around. Ouroboros is an independent contractor, and given the completion of his contract, he no longer works for us in any capacity." She turned to regard me, a strange mix of emotions playing out on her face. "Let's not give him a reason to stop humoring us."
"If one of the kids whines to you about how Piggot is mean," I said, "do not tell them they just need to fight off Magpie to earn her respect. It's only a funny joke until one of the maladjusted shits fails to realize you are joking."
"...Duly noted," Armsmaster said.
"Now, Ouroboros- what can you tell us about Magpie?"
I frowned, and thought. "Well... First and foremost, she's immune to pretty much all energy attacks, and merely incredibly resistant to physical attacks- a tinkertech sword might hurt her, but nine millimeter parabellum probably won't do shit."
Armsmaster nodded. "I'm recording this, if you don't mind. For my own notes, not for any legal purposes."
"Let's see..." I hummed, trying to puzzle out more to decide what was safe, and also useful, to tell them. That she was, probably, my past reincarnation's big titty goth wife was, uh... okay, maybe useful, because the idea of fighting me semi-seriously was clearly something she liked, but like hell I'm telling them that. Then they'd actually expect me to fight her again, and I really, really don't want to do that. I mean, fuck, even if they do load me up with even more Tinkertech, I'm pretty sure she's got Eidolon's power this time around- the fact there was no evidence of that means she was either being subtle with the effects, or she was simply holding those back for the sake of the fight.
...Oh, wait, that's a true and useful thing to say.
"...She was toying with me," I said. "Wanted an exciting fight against what she called a 'fellow immortal,' but... Magpie's got a huge grab bag of powers, doesn't she? And yet, she didn't use any of those against me. If I was to go up against her a second time, even with all the advantages and gear you could load me up with... I think she'd just bust out an anti-tech ray and wipe it all away before demanding I fight her for real, without any cheap gimmicks."
"What makes you so certain you will fight her a second time?" Armsmaster asked.
"Well, she seemed to enjoy the fight, and knew I'd be right as rain as soon as I got that sword out of my chest. So... chances are, she'll want a rematch, next time she gets bored."
"Mm."
"Ordinarily, I'd tell you to knock it off, because the Youth Guard would be very, very upset with me for endangering a child," Piggot said. "However, the Youth Guard only have authority over Wards, and you're just a contractor."
"And you have very limited options for making me do anything I don't want to do."
"That's right," Piggot said. "If I want you to do something, I have to offer you money and Tinkertech, which we have in abundance. First, though... Let's get Panacea in here to check your chest, and make sure you don't have bits of sword still stuck in you."