“You’ve been hyping this champion for an entire day,” the tiny man said. He took a dismissive glance at Dalton. “And you bring me this scrub? I doubt he has the skills to survive a battle of Dark Monsters.”

“Dark Monsters?” Dalton spoke up. Looking at the two. “Seriously? A card game?”

He stood up, patting the dust off him. Malcolm smiled though, showing his teeth.

“You scared Nikolai? He is better than he looks.”

“You better wish he is better than he looks.” Nikolai narrowed his eyes. “Because he looks like a virgin boy.”

“I’m getting tired of all these insults.” Dalton gritted his teeth. “For the last time, I’m not a virgin!”

Nikolai ignored him, keeping his gaze on Malcolm. “So, your champion is a sacrificial lamb. You might as well give me the elixirs. You do have them, right?”

From his pocket, he held up a vial with glowing blue liquid. Nikolai gasped, leaning in. He had the face of a hungry wolf. He wanted it.

“From my personal collection. Made by one of the Eight Star Witches. Can heal any wound in existence, even a cursed one.” Malcolm put away the vial. “So, the term of victory is whoever is squashed by those trucks right?”

“Your virgin is going to be squashed by that truck.” Nikolai smiled.

Dalton kept on watching them banter back and forth. They kept on shit talking, telling each other that their champion would triumph. Dalton has played Dark Monsters before, but he wasn’t a professional or anything. The best he could claim was that he defeated his maid’s children.

So, he considered just walking away.

The way they talked, it sounded like they were actually going to drop a truck on the loser. That seemed ridiculous.

Dalton rose his hand grabbing the attention of the two. “Quick question, are you saying that the loser will die?”

The two looked at each other, and gave him the look of parent being asked a simple question.

“Yeah, whoever loses dies. They get isekai’d,” Malcolm said.

“And the winner gets to decide what they get reincarnated as.” Nikolai tapped his fingers together, giving an evil smile. “The last scrub that got squashed, we reincarnated them as a middle-aged man with back problems, that worked in a harbor picking up boxes.”

“Oh.”

It wasn’t what Dalton had expected, but that actually sounded worse than getting reincarnated as a sentient hot spring that molested women.

“Can I just leave then? I don’t care about the day off.” Dalton pointed behind him with his thumb.

“No, because that means we get to drop the truck on you,” Nikolai said.

“So, no matter what…” The color from Dalton’s face drained.

“…You’re going to have to go!” Malcolm slapped him on the back, giving him a big toothy smile.

#

“You do know how to play right? Dark Monsters?”

“I know of it.”

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“That’s fine,” Malcolm said, pushing the deck of cards in his hands. “All you have to do is win.”

“That’s not fine at all!” Dalton snapped.

“You should stop overreacting. Just think of the types of clients we will get if you win.”

Dalton fell silent. Not because it was a good argument. Rather it was a dumb one. He had never played Dark Monster before, and there was a very good chance he would lose.

There was a truck hanging right above him. If he lost, then it would drop and kill him.

He couldn’t escape. He was chained to his seat.

Taking his silence as agreement, Malcolm started to give him a peptalk. He ignored it though watching his opponent step out of the crowd of people surrounding them.

His opponent was seated in front of him. He had spikey crazy hair, that didn’t seem realistic in proportions at all. He wore a yellow headband, gloves, and had a lot of belts strapped around his body. Truly a lot. He didn’t just wear belts, his shirt was just a ton of belts strapped together. When their eyes met, his opponent just snickered at him, like he was a rat that he was about to stomp.

“-and that’s why you don’t need to worry about him. You’ll beat him, and he’ll be the one isekai’d!”

Dalton turned to him. “I’d like to go home now.”

Malcolm sighed, clasping his shoulder. “Silly, you’re not going to go anywhere. And if you do, that truck drops down on you no matter what”

“No you don’t understand!” Dalton placed a claw like grip on his forearm. “The only time I’ve played Dark Monsters is against my maid’s kids, and I’m pretty sure they let me win! Now you’re telling me to play a guy that is wearing belts and spikey hair that is without a doubt obsessed with the game.”

As if to prove the point he just made, his opponent was giving a long kiss to one of his cards.

“One day, I’m going to marry you and get you pregnant.”

They both heard the dueler’s comment. His eyes looked dangerous. Malcolm seemed to agree, his eyebrows were kneading together, unsure of how to respond.

So, he just ignored reality. “You can win.”

“Don’t ignore it! Help me!”

A gong was struck. Everyone quieted down, and Nikolai stepped forward, a mic in hand.

“Today we have fresh meat. The Trash Can Department has sent a newbie to defeat our most decorated dueler: Riot Labyrinth!”

It didn’t matter how loud the cheers were. Despite the fact that the cheers thundered, shaking the foundation and the truck above Dalton’s head, that wasn’t what grabbed his attention. He was stuck on the name.

His opponent’s name was Riot Labyrinth. What kind of parent would name their child: Riot Labyrinth? But no one seemed to care about the name, even Riot seemed to like it because, he held up a fist as the cheers grew even louder.

“And his opponent, the newbie virgin: Dalton Attewater!”

There were no cheers for him, just jeers and laughter. His face grew hot, and he shook in embarrassment.

“I’m not a virgin.” He murmured.

Not like anyone could hear him anyways.

“This is the last call to place your bets!”

On the board, he could see that there was a hundred to one chance that he would win. So many people were placing their hopes he would be crushed.

“Don’t worry lad.” Malcolm placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You’re going to win. The deck I made is the best there ever was. You just got to believe in the cards.”

“Malcolm.” His heart swelled.

A slip of paper dropped from his pocket. Before Malcolm could grab it, Dalton snapped it out of the air.

“You’re betting against me?” The piece of paper shook in his hand.

Malcolm snatched the paper. Dalton moved it out of his range.

“It’s nothing against you boy. It’s just I never expected Nikolai to put up Riot Labyrinth. I mean, it’s basically cheating to think that he would put that dueler up as his champion.”

“I don’t even know who he is.” Dalton snapped back.

“He’s a legend. With his skills, he has killed many people.”

Dalton was horrified. “Wait, I thought this was just a card game?”

“Dark Monsters is a card game. It’s just all of his opponents have died.”

“Don’t turn this around! It doesn’t make sense that a card game just kills people. There has to be an explanation.”

“Don’t worry, if you believe in the heart…of…what was the saying again?” Malcolm crossed his arms and turned his head. “Anyways you got believe in yourself. Those cards have been meticulously put together to make the strongest deck ever.”

“Okay.” Dalton took a breath and smiled. “Out of all the red flags that are sprung, I will believe you. So, you won’t mind if I keep the ticket, do you?”

“…Okay boy.” Malcolm pulled out his gun. “You’re going to give me the ticket, or I’m going to punch a hole in your body.”

“Hey! He’s got a gun!” Dalton yelled. “He’s planning on shooting Riot to win!”

Nikolai looked to them. He pointed at Malcolm. “Seize it!”

“God damn it, Dalton!” He screamed. The truck drivers surrounded him with guns of their own. Malcolm’s eyes swerved around him, he licked his lips. “I’m not giving my gun up! Come and get it, you fucking bastards!”

He was easily jumped and disarmed by one of the truck drivers.

“Sebastian!” He reached his hand to the magnum that was taken away from him.

Dalton felt a sliver of happiness as he saw Malcolm crumble into a sniveling little ball.

“The duel shall start now.” Nikolai yelled.