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Trash Knight: System Recycler: A litRPG Satire that No One Asked For
90: Experimental Engine Program and the Poorly-Paced Race Against Time

90: Experimental Engine Program and the Poorly-Paced Race Against Time

Kisk stared into me. Into my soul.

I stared back, frozen, uncertain. Did she recognize me? Impossible. Maybe she felt my soul was the same. No way. Was she angry? Why was she here?

The adventurers stepped around me. The knight aimed his sword, and it glittered with golden light. "Have at you, vile demon!"

Kisk paid him no attention. She stared at me.

And I stood, breathlessly.

And I blinked.

And she was gone.

There was a pause between all of us as we registered the newfound emptiness of the room and the absence of danger.

The heroes marched around the room on their guard, waiting for the succubus to appear from the darkness and attack, but she never did. Only silence came, and once the healer sanctified the area with a spell, they deemed it safe.

"You did well," I told them. "Good job."

Bashful smiles were sent around and brought to me. "Hah!" barked the knight. "And we didn't even break up a sweat!"

Clearly, he was sweating his ass off, but I made no mention of it.

The healer closed her eyes and hit me with a polite smile, and she bowed like a ballroom debutant. "Now, if you'll excuse us, Admiral Redrim, we have people to purify."

"Thanks," I said. I turned to leave, and I hurried down the halls. Cassandra began opening and unlocking the doors, and just as I arrived at the stairs to the upper decks, my internal radio crackled to life. "Redrim, come in." It was the Card King. "The radio jamming has vanished. It must've been from that ship."

"Contact the rebel cell," I said. "We need an update."

"They've already contacted us," he said. "They've been sending out desperate messages constantly. We just now happen to get another."

Damnit. "Then tell me the fuckin' situation."

"Get here," he said. "You'll need to see the map."

I pounded up the stairs, then the stairwell to the bridge, and burst in. Several rebel leaders, officers, and the Card King stood around the map on the table. He waved me over.

"Look at this, Redrim."

I stepped over to share the sight. The map covered most of the continent and its Western ocean, including the inner continental sea, the vast desert, and all the way to Lambston.

Our ship, a little grey thing, sat neatly in the blue. Far West of us, a cluster of black ships. "The enemy fleet," explained the Card King. They were all pointing toward a little brown ship. "The rebel cell," he said.

I growled, "You told me they were still under siege in the caves."

He shook his head. "They've since left and have been on the run since." He took a deep, worried breath. "The entire First Fleet of the empire is hot on their tails, and by the looks of it, we won't make it in time."

I grimaced. "How long until they're caught?"

"Eight hours."

"How long until we can catch up to them?"

"Twelve hours."

I slammed my fist on the map. The pieces rattled.

I stared again at that little helpless wooden figure on the map and then at the black boats that followed like sharks. Jenna was on that ship. She was the one getting chased and by an entire battle fleet.

"Are these numbers accurate?" I asked.

"Yes," said the Card King. "It's what they radioed to us a few minutes ago."

I felt a chill run down my spine. It was about thirty ships in total. Warships alone we could take, and maybe a few destroyer-class ships, but anything above that? No. If they brought a monster ship, we would have trouble dueling against just that one, let alone the rest of the fleet.

Fuck! This is the worst that could've happened. We shouldn't have spent so much damn time fucking around. If I had been in control from the get-go, then this wouldn't have happened.

No. Not entirely true. We would've been ganked by the fleet before then when we were under-armed and under-armored. This was just the hand I'd been dealt, so I needed to find a way to make do.

"Status report," I demanded. "Give me the damage on that demon attack."

One of the officers saluted me. "Fourteen dead."

"And the wounded?"

"We don't expect any, no. It seems the healer will be able to save those even from the brink of death."

"And the fourteen dead? Who were they?"

"Seven riflemen. Five seamen. And one old couple."

I shook my head. Poor gramma and gramps. Died by the fuckin' curse poison. Dead because of her, Kisk, my ex-harem slut. This was the burden of a leader, I figured. Something I actually hadn't experienced, at least not on this scale.

Now wasn't the time to mope around. If I couldn't come up with a solution and fast, there would be even more lives lost.

I stepped over to the helm and slid out the monitors. Images of various rooms blinked to life over the slabs of metal and electronics, and I could see the decks alive with activity. Vil and Lara were fine and were helping the healer. That was a relief. And Jessie was back in her workshop, tinkering away. She looked up at me through the screen.

"Yes?" she asked.

"I need to turn a 12-hour trip into an 8-hour one."

"Sounds like a personal problem."

"Lives are at stake," I said. "Our allies will die if we don't get there before the enemy, and as it stands, we won't make it time. We need some bullshit magic engineering solution, or I'm gonna have to drop weight and build more engines."

"No, don't do that," she said without much enthusiasm. She was busy working on something with a screwdriver. "If there's an enemy fleet, we'll need all the armor and firepower we have."

"We're too heavy," I said. "Fuck it. I have to do it. I'll come up with something when we get there or get close."

"Give me a few minutes," she said. "Maybe I can come up with something."

Her screen clicked off, and I stood there with my hands on my hips, and my head dropped low.

I had to run the numbers in my head. How much armor would I need to get rid of to make up the speed? My stomach rose to my throat. I would need to lose damn near half my armor, then add even more engines just to make it in time. I wouldn't even be able to add more armor upon arrival. There just wasn't enough time.

I checked the current work order status.

> Work Order:

>

> Hull Expansion 10m

>

> 30 Dorm Rooms

>

> Estimated Time Remaining: 101 Minutes

>

> Work Order Canceled.

The bubbling, reforming parts of the hull that was in the middle of expanding had now stopped. The important bits were already done, and I didn't need the extra weight.

> Time Elapsed Since Last XP Gain: 105 Minutes

>

> +5,670,000 XP

Jessie's face blinked back on the screen. "Redrim. I have an idea, but I don't 100% know if it'll work."

"Go on."

"It'll take a couple hours to figure out, but--"

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"We don't have the fucking time," I said. "There's too much at stake for me to take those risks."

"Exactly," she said. "If you drop weight, we'll be weaker when it comes time to fight. That's why you need to trust me."

I stared for a breath, then two, then three, and when the decision came to me, I said, "If you fuck this up, I will wear your skin."

She hit me with a slutty little wolf's grin and said, "And if I don't fuck this up, then you'll owe me."

"Deal," I said without thinking. Surely I wouldn't regret it later.

"Good," she said. "Transfer 90% of all your stored resources into Fire Element. You'll need it." With that, she clicked off.

I sighed and looked across the horizon. The ship coasted at a steady 51 kilometers per hour, and if I wanted to drop weight and speed through, I would need to do it now, rather than bulking up with Fire Element.

"Cassandra," I said. "Adjust the cargo hold. We're only keeping Fire element now."

"Confirmed," she said.

Then, the waiting game.

I thought about making weapons or adding things to the ship, but no, I didn't know how much Fire I needed, so I just sat around in the coffee lounge like a jackass.

"So, Redrim," Vil said. He sat next to me with a steaming cappuccino in hand. "About that demon. What happened?"

I sat with my arms crossed as I stared straight ahead. This was not a conversational posture. This was an I'm uncomfortable with the current situation posture. "She vanished," I said plainly.

"That's what the adventurers told me." He took a sip. "Strange, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"That the demon would vanish." He looked away and tapped the armrest.

"Maybe they were shy," I said.

"Demons can see the color of a person's soul, as they say." He looked at me with those inquisitive yet simultaneously bored eyes. "Perhaps she recognized yours since apparently, you're so old and all."

"I'm not that old," I said.

"But how old," he asked.

"About your age, give or take."

"Give or take what?"

"Decades? Maybe a century."

Vil leaned forward--the couch squeaked--and he squinted his eyes at me. . "Say I have a birthday cake, and it's your birthday, and I wanted to put candles on this cake. How many candles should I put on this cake?"

I entertained the thought. "You would lose count at 250 or so."

"I'd need a bigger cake." He leaned back. Silence came between us for a moment until he said, "Jerry Redrim doesn't have the same ring to it, no."

"Jerry?"

"For geriatric."

I groaned and stood up. "One out of fuckin--"

"One point nine," he said with a grin. "That's 99% pun strength."

> +1 Parachute

>

> New recipe unlocked.

Jessie was at work, it seemed. Maybe she was just dropping recipes to get things out of the way since there was no way in hell a buncha fabric would help.

I opened the door to see Lara coming in, and I held it open for her.

Vil paused me. "Don't worry, Redrim. I trust in the wild woman. She's a capable engineer."

I shut the door behind me. Fifteen minutes had passed. Only fifteen. I wanted to ask Jessie for a status, but I knew not to bother her. Instead, I decided to go and check out one of the new rooms that was freshly made--the Magic Research Facility.

I walked across the ship--it was on the other side--and I passed by a group of familiar rebel faces. They saluted. I offered a lazy salute back. And I found the room on the opposite side of Jessie's workshop.

I could hear her there, Jessie had company over, and it sounded like--the Gimp King? And even Doc Jackelope was with her. It wasn't a sexy conversation by any means, but it sounded like they were deep into some high-level science shit.

I shook my head and continued on to the Magic Research Facility. The lights were on inside, and I stepped in to see the young heroes playing with Erlenmeyer flasks and bubbling cauldrons. The healer and archer--those adorable little shitheads--wore lab coats, oversized gloves, and lab goggles while the knight and mage apparently supervised.

"Ah, Sir Redrim!" said the knight. "I must say this new installation into the ship has not gone unnoticed by capable eyes!"

"Ah, Admiral," said the soft-spoken archer. "We have a few potions made already. I've come to understand that they must be thrown away in order to be used, but I didn't quite understand it."

"Recycling magic." I pointed to a chute on the far wall. A little recycling sign was pasted over the flap. "If you throw something away that I have not recycled, then I'll get the recipe."

The archer raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Well, bottom's up, I suppose." She took a basket of clinking potions and stepped over.

"Wait, wait," the healer paused her. "Are you sure, Admiral?" she asked me. "It is quite difficult to distill the essence of a spell into a liquid form, and I'd like not for them to go to waste. We only have enough mana for a few of these a day."

I stepped over to her, took a single potion--it glowed like a lava lamp--and I brought it to my lips. My jaw unhinged almost like a metal-robo-snake, and I gulped it down.

> +1 Liquid Implosion

>

> New recipe unlocked.

>

> Hmmm-click-click.

>

> +2 Implosion Potions

I reached into my slot and drew them out. The party did that typical 'woah' thing kids like to do, and I stood around feeling like the coolest kid on the block.

The mage rubbed his chin. "Fascinating. I was skeptical this would work, but having seen it for myself," he nodded in thought, "yes, yes, excellent. I do believe we may be able to mix spells together to intertwine the effects."

The healer covered the cauldron with a lid. It rattled violently from the steam. "I thought that's what we agreed on."

"Did we?" said the mage. "I wasn't listening."

They chuckled at one another, and to be honest, I did too. It was nice having them on board. I enjoyed their company.

The archer stepped over and dumped in the basket. The potions tipped and tapped down the chute until--

> +1 Liquid Haste

>

> +1 Liquid Slow

>

> +1 Liquid Silence

>

> +1 Liquid Provoke

>

> +1 Liquid Purity

>

> +1 Liquid Protection

>

> +1 Liquid Explosion

Fuck yes. These spells could be used for so, so many awesome things. "Keep up the good work," I told them as I left.

"Worry not, Admiral," said the healer behind me. "We're on your side."

I stepped into the hallway, turned the corner, and almost bumped into Jessie and the Gimp King. Doc was right behind.

Jessie kicked me in the shin. "Move, you fuckin' cunt! I'm goddamn busy!"

I raised my hands in surrender and scooted aside. She hurried into the Magic Research Facility. The Gimp King nodded respectfully as he passed, and Doc Jackelope paused beside me. He was grinning ear to ear. "Bravo," he whispered. "By trusting them in their work, I believe you've made a most excellent decision."

"We'll fucking see," I said.

I walked away. I wanted to talk to Jessie more about this plan, but it seemed like it would be fruitless. I would just get in the way. By the time I reached the end of the hallway, Jessie had run out with a bubbling fresh potion in her hands, and her nerd crew hurried closely behind. The workshop door slammed shut.

This was killing me. If only I could teleport as I did when I was a paladin. I had received that spell as part of a quest reward, and even then, it was incredibly rare. Nowadays, scrolls of the forgotten magic had mostly vanished, and only specific families have inherited the magic through bloodlines. They used their position and influence of instant long-distance travel in order to make money, and they were rich from it.

I made a mental note to try and recycle one of those teleportation mages. With any luck, I could eat the spell and use it for myself.

But that wouldn't help me now, not here.

> +1 Redrim Core Drive

>

> New recipes unlocked.

"What the fuck is this?"

My internal comm phone clicked on. "Redrim." It was Jessie. "I need you to install this as soon as possible."

"Where?" I asked.

"Near the engines," Jessie said.

"Confirmed," Cassandra followed. She was as proactive as ever.

> +1 Auxilliary Rocket Booster

>

> New recipes unlocked.

Rocket... booster?

I was still in the hallway when I heard her voice on the comm phone. "Did you get that?"

"Yeah," I said.

She stomped out of the workshop. The comm phone was still in her hand, and the cord pulled around the corner. "Hurry the fuck up! You slow-ass piece of shit!"

"I don't even know what this is."

"They need--Ugh!--for fuck's sake." She stomped back into her workshop. "Add as many as you can to the sides of the ship."

I started back to the bridge. Whatever the fuck Jessie had given me was exactly what she had in mind. "I'm on it," I told her.

"Confirmed," Cassandra said. "Rearranging hardpoints to satisfy requirements."

> -2,000,000 Fire Element

>

> Rocket Booster (Port 1) activated.

>

> Rocket Booster (Port 2) activated.

>

> Rocket Booster (Starboard 1) activated.

>

> Rocket Booster (Starboard 2) activated.

> Hardpoints:

>

> Port 1: Rocket

>

> Port 2: Rocket

>

> Starboard 1: Rocket

>

> Starboard 2: Rocket

>

> Bow: Turret

>

> Keel 1: Mining

>

> Keel 2: Mining

>

> Keel 3: Mining

>

> Keel 4: Mining

>

> Bridge: Comms

>

> Stern: Turret

>

> Deck 1: Railgun

I pounded up the stairs and to the bridge. The rebel officers and technicians saluted me as I flipped on the screens. "Jessie," I said when I saw her.

She was in the workshop, dumping something into the recycling chute.

> +1 Auxilliary Mode Controller

>

> New recipes unlocked.

"Install that in the bridge," she said.

Cassandra said, "Confirmed."

Something snapped beside me, I jumped back, and there on the floor, a metal panel clicked away to create a hole, and out of it, steaming hot metal rose forth and hissed and cooled and steamed, and when the glowing hotness dissipated, I could see that it was a metal seat with several monitors and controls.

"What's the plan, Redrim," the Card King asked. "We're at 11 hours now, and the enemy is at 7. Whatever the hell you're doing, I hope it can at least double our speed."

"It will," Jessie said from the doorway. She was out of breath, and her lab coat was filthy with red and black goop--raw fire element. She hurried over to the seat, the auxiliary mode controller, and typed around. She turned to me. "You might want to sound the alarm," she grinned like a devil, "because we're about to haul ass."

I looked to the Card King. "Use the loudspeaker." And I went to the helm and gripped the wheel. My tentacle arms shot out from my sides, and they latched to the ceiling and floor, anchoring me and tethering my body to the ship. Again, I felt the cool wetness of the sea, the damp air, the breeze against me.

Jessie shouted. "Beginning countdown!"

"Confirmed," said Cassandra. Her actual voice came on over the loudspeakers, and she began to count down.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

"Ah, shit," Jessie said.

Seven.

Six.

"What do you mean, ah shit?"

Five.

Four.

"I, uh," she laughed, "I forgot a screw."

Three.

Two.

"Goddamnit."

One.

An explosive burst of power ripped into the water along the sides of the ship--the rockets!--and the entire ship yanked at the sheer force.

I grunted against the pull of the ship, and I squinted my eyes as the world blurred past.

Mentally, I checked the stats to see how fast we were.

> Thrust Power: 300 / 1000

>

> Current speed: 65 kph

>

> Current speed: 81 kph

>

> Current speed: 99 kph

>

> Thrust Power: 1000 / 1000

I felt the blaring heat of the rockets as they burned into the ship's sides, and I felt--holy shit--I felt the ship lift ever so slightly out of the water.

"Admiral!" shouted the Card King. He had belted himself into the far wall. "Keep. Going."

Just when I burst into mad laughter, the laughter that came with limitless power, the laughter of a villain just as he stumbles upon a god-slaying weapon, the rockets puttered out--the ship lurched and paused and lurched--and we jolted forward and back--and the rockets died out.

They hissed with steam.

One of the technicians vomited. A recycler mob clanked over to clean it up.

"Sorry," Jessie said. "Apparently, I did remember that screw."

"That was on purpose?" I asked.

"Well, if I actually forgot the screw, we would've exploded in a fiery death, I think." She snapped the goggles back over her eyes. "Keep making more fire element. As much as you can carry. I'm gonna go make a bigger rocket real fast."