The dungeon core was useless. A big ol' waste of time.

The skill list was basically the same thing as the tank's skill tree, with three primary trees that upgrade the size of the dungeon and the number of mobs, that sort of thing. Which would be totally badass if it wasn't locked into a specific area. Apparently, initializing the dungeon core meant claiming a specific area set by arbitrary rules, probably put together by even the Grand Magi.

What a mess.

Maybe it was balanced. Maybe not. Maybe it was a good thing people like me couldn't just eat a dungeon core, then proceed to summon 50 goblins within my vicinity just to slay a dragon. Cool, yes. Fair, no.

Surely, it was something I could use later, maybe in some dramatic moment just as a last resort to turn the tide in my next darkest hour, but nah. That never happens.

Right outside the cave, I looked up at the starry night sky. Hours had already passed, I really needed to get to work. I hadn't even started yet.

Instead of mining in this far-off area, I decided to go back and check on my tank. It wasn't far. A fifteen-minute walk, first passing the makeshift camp to make sure they were all still breathing, and I continued to the tank.

Sure enough, it was there, unmolested by any passerby. I had to dig through the branches and moss just to get a good look at it, and when I did, I groaned.

Half the front end was missing, the other half shredded. There were thick holes punched all through the armor, and the main gun had been rendered useless. It was a miracle it even drove still.

How the hell could I even repair this?

Cassandra crackled to life. "Imsi. I advise you to tether to the tank and enable Mining Mode. This will provide you with a substantially more powerful version of the recycling laser."

For goodness' sake, why didn't I think of that?

I climbed atop the tank, kicked off the dead branches, and dropped in. The moonlight shone in through the shredded armor. "How do I repair it?" I asked her.

"Use the work order interface," she said. "I would, however, recommend using your unspent class points to upgrade your engine and armor before wasting the resources."

I chuckled to myself. "What would I do without you?"

"According to my analysis, you would likely have died several times now."

"Exactly."

I activated mining mode on the tank, both sides, and cannon-size lasers reformed on either side of the hull. I fired downward and dug into the earth. With both lasers firing, it would draw in 9,000 resources per second, but I soon found I could make it faster by stepping outside the tank, tethering to the back, and also firing my other lasers, stacking the final resource gain to 19,200 resource per second. Needless to say, it didn't take long to fill this thing up before I had to stop.

With the resource tank full, I stopped to go ahead and look over the skills.

Engine Power

Base

Bootleg Power Converter

1

Discount Engine

2

Economy

3

Standard

4

Enhanced

5

Power

++

Next Generation

Mat Density

Base

50%

1

75%

2

100%

3

125%

4

150%

5

200%

++

Next Generation

Hardpoints

Base 2

4

6

8

10

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

++

The best option here would be to stack armor, as excess engine power would probably be wasted. More speed was nice, but it still couldn't outrun a tank shell.

> Engine Power 1 unlocked.

>

> Engine Power 2 unlocked.

>

> Material Density 1 unlocked.

>

> Material Density 2 unlocked.

>

> Material Density 3 unlocked.

The stats looked good, so I went ahead and set the work order, adding in a little spice to make it more awesome.

Repairs:

Engine

Hull

Cannon

Tracks

Power Systems

Upgrade:

Engine

Hull

Power Systems

Auxiliary Fire System

Additional:

Hull, Dragon Scale Lacing

Total: 8,900,700 ( E )

I put it through. The holes in the tank shrank as it welded in new sections of metal, and the entire thing sparked all throughout the body as if a thousand tiny welders were running around inside. Or something like that.

The repairs continued as I continued to pour more resources, and after about a half-hour, I was already done.

> Resources: 1,999,500 ( E )

>

> Fuel: 460,000 / 460,000 ( F )

>

> +1,170,020 XP

>

> +1 Level [Level 40]

>

> +1 Class Point

I wanted to wipe the sweat from my brow after a hard night of work, but, you know, trash cans can't sweat, so I didn't. Also, it wasn't like I even worked that hard. I only stood around for like thirty minutes shooting beams of light into the dirt like some kind of machine freak--ugh!--I needed to hurry up and get my real body back.

I unplugged myself and checked out my work. Sure enough, the tank looked brand new again. The treads seemed a bit bulkier, better maybe, and the hull itself was thicker, but only slightly so. The density upgrade wouldn't have made the tank much bigger, if at all, but I knew the upgraded engine might've called for more room inside. On the outermost layer of the hull, there was a faint outline of dragon scales, but they had been melded into the armor.

Perfect. Using the scales added more defense but without the heaviness of regular steel. Maybe I could make an entire material just out of dragon scales. It was an entertaining thought.

Morning came, everyone woke up, said a few expected things about the tank--including Vil's shitty pun--and we loaded up to leave again. This time, the knight and healer rode inside the tank next to Vil. Jessie, of course, remained on her knees beside me, handcuffed and within arm's reach.

It was a misty morning, and the sun had only just risen. The world around was alive with forest sounds--birds, squirrels, tree branches swaying--and there was a sense of calm here.

We wouldn't take the main road. Too risky. Instead, we drove carefully through the back of the forest along the cliff face. I stood atop the hatch with my binoculars to scan my surroundings. The mage sat atop the tank and used a remote viewing spell to look for any hidden ambushes. For the first two hours, we found nothing.

Then, we had to make a choice. The path through the forest had been split by a landslide, so we either had to return to the main road--and risk getting blasted again by an ambush--or go the long way around, which would take us up along the top of the cliff.

We went up the cliff.

After the tank dove over the last lip of the incline, the entire chassis dipped like a ship in rough waters, and we all grunted at the force. Vil paused so we could do some recon.

Here atop the cliff, we could see far across the forest, a sea of a green that crested and dipped along the rolling hills, and far along the horizon, a thin shimmer of light--the ocean. We were close now.

"Redrim," Vil said. "There's smoke ahead. About 10 kilometers out."

I looked through my binoculars. Sure enough, distant tendrils of black smoke rose just past the horizon. "Where is it coming from?" I asked.

I could hear him fiddling with the map. "The shipyard," he said. "It has to be it. The rebels might have landed early."

With the rugged environment we were in, it was going to take at least another hour to get there.

Vil revved the engine again, and we continued along the cliff face for another thirty minutes until the mage hushed, "There. An army camp. One kilometer out."

I knelt and told Vil. "Stop the tank."

The tank pulled over, and Vil killed the engines. Silence came, and the breeze came and whistled through the vents.

"It's quite far," the mage said. He sat atop the tank with his eyes closed, focusing on the spell.

"Do you see any tanks?" I asked.

"Yes," he said. "Two tanks. Roughly the same size as this one."

The main tank wasn't there. Was it lying in wait somewhere in the forest? I looked around with my binoculars to make sure we hadn't been flanked. Nothing out here but a sea of trees beneath the cliff.

"How many soldiers?" I asked.

"Several dozen tents. I can't count them all."

I tapped the hull in thought. If we approached to get closer, they would surely hear our engine. It was... pretty loud. Stealth was no option. We could dismount and approach on foot, hit them from the top of the cliff with spells and whatnot, but that would take too much time. The rendezvous town seemed to be burning, and the rebel situation might have been perilous.

Vil didn't need to say anything. I could feel his worry.

"Just shoot at them," Jessie said beside me. She was still chained up, with her knees pushed to her chest and her boots off. "One kilometer is still within range."

I looked back out. One kilometer was a fucking crazy range. I had literally never heard of something shooting that far with any accuracy. "How could I aim?" I asked. "Wouldn't the firing arc be too high?"

She smirked. "Not if you knew what the hell you were doing."

"Now you listen here, you little slut--"

Instantly, every female-presenting entity in hearing range snapped at me with a simultaneous combination of hey or whoa or asshole! This included the healer, the archer, and even Cassandra--but she just sort of mumbled it.

"Sir Redrim," the knight said. He was awake. "What a horrible way you treat this young maiden."

"It's a fetish thing," I said.

Jessie stood and snapped off her handcuffs. "Allow me. If I can destroy that entire camp, then you'll owe me."

I was not about to play this kind of game with her. I knew exactly what kind of favor she would try to call in, and being indebted to a crazy whore like this was all sorts of trouble.

"Do it," Vil said. He turned in the seat and glared with glassy eyes. "This was originally her tank. Let her take the shot."

He was lucky I had begun to respect his scrawny beta ass. "Fine. Impress me. But if you fail, I get something in return."

I felt glares from within the tank. Jessie's face reddened a bit with excitement, then said, "Deal!" She held out her hand. "I need a blindfold."

"You haven't won yet," I said.

She thrust her hand out again. "I need it to use the tank. It's part of the machinist class."

Hmm-click.

> +1 Blindfold.

I handed it over.

She tightened the black cloth over her eyes, taking care to move her hair out of the way, then climbed up out of the tank to sit cross-legged beside the mage. The mage scooted back to give her room. "Who has a silence spell?" Jessie asked.

"I do," said the archer. "But I don't know how it would help."

"Come here," Jessie said as she patted the hull beside her.

The archer scooted, and now the three weirdos sort of huddled together. The mage resumed his spell and closed his eyes like a monk. Jessie sat blindfolded beside him like a fucking freak, and the archer sat there in confused discomfort.

Jessie raised her hands and felt the air around. Then, she grinned wide and snickered. "Really, Redrim?" she said. "What's with all this strange ammunition?"

"Experimental ammunition," I corrected.

She moved her fingers around. The turret whirred as it clicked over to aim.

So this was how she was able to man this entire thing herself.

"Silence the turret," Jessie said.

The archer held out her open palm and cast it with a whisper. A strange blur formed over the barrel of the turret. Then, it--click. The shell zipped out, smoke flashed, the gun recoiled--it scared the shit outta me--and all without a hint of sound. After a moment, the mage said, "Off-target. Eleven meters to the right."

The expended shell clanked on the floor as the gun emptied, and another shell manifested in its place.

She fired again.

"Hit," the mage said.

"What do you see?" she asked.

He furrowed his brow. "A strange pink cloud erupting within the camp. The soldiers are stumbling out now in confusion. One seems to be choking. Was it poison? Wait. No. No. What is--my heavens." His face turned pink. "What dastardly magic is this? The soldiers are... fornicating with each other!"

I chuckled to myself. She must've used the Charisma HE round. It gladdened my little trash can heart that it actually worked.

"Where are the tanks?" she asked.

The mage shook off his embarrassment. "Left four. Up three. The crews are refueling it, but they're out of the smoke."

"Do they see us?"

"No," the mage said. "They do seem to be on alert, though."

The turret reloaded. The archer cast another silence spell. Jessie fired again.

"Hit," the mage said. "It penetrated the top armor, but there doesn't seem to be any effect. Wait, I see something. Green and red goop is spilling out of the sides."

"Gross," said Jessie.

It was pretty gross. She had used the emulsification round, so the only thing in that tank would be liquified tank crew.

"Next tank," Jessie said.

"Right twenty. Down one. The crew just boarded. They'll leave soon."

The gun reloaded, then fired in silence.

"Miss. Right three. Up one."

She fired again.

"Hit."

Jessie grinned wide. "What did that one do?"

"This one is an off-color pink mist. Was it another man-love bomb? No. Wait. Something is approaching. A small dragon!"

"Wyvern," I corrected. I could see it flying over in my binoculars, much to my delight.

"The dragon is now pecking at the tank. The crew is panicking. The commander just tried to exit, but now--wait. What is happening? Oh no. No. BY THE GODS."

Yes. The wyvern was now fucking the tank and murdering anything nearby that would interrupt it.

Finally, the mage opened his eyes. "Incredible. The entire camp seems to be ineffective now. We should be free to pass safely now."

"No big tank?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I had searched high and low for anything else. Nothing appeared."

It looked like I had lost this bet, and judging by the sly look Jessie hit me with, I knew she would try to cash in as soon as possible. For fuck's sake.

The knight chuckled. He was still wounded and in a bit of pain, but his enthusiasm scarcely left him. "My word, Sir Redrim. It seemed the maiden has bested you this day. Surely she will demand better treatment by a knight of your station."

"Or worse," I said.

Vil turned over the engine, and we took off again. It only took a few minutes to drive within viewing distance of the army camp--they had set up in a wide clearing in the forest. Sure enough, one tank had sat motionless with a pool of green and red beneath it. The other tank still had a dragon fucking it. Most of the crew were spread around nearby. And all of the soldiers? Still fucking. Still. They were all piled into the same tent as a writhing mass of naked flesh, all doing unspeakable things to each other, some spilling out into the outside dirt.

This was probably a war crime, but I stopped keeping count of that sort of thing.

Eventually, the cliff began to level out with the rest of the forest, and we were able to cross out to cut through the treeline, then back onto the main road. No ambush. We continued for another few minutes before approaching a glittering blue horizon. It was the vast ocean that seemed to go on forever, but something was in it.

Ships. Warships. Nearly a dozen or so idling at the mouth of a harbor.

Once we crested over the hill, we finally found the town down at the shoreline. The treads squealed to a stop. Vil cut the engines to listen. What we found was not a small army of rebels to welcome us in. What we found was the aftermath of a terrible battle.