Jenna sat in front of the vanity in the royal bedroom--her royal bedroom--as her staff hurried to dab powders on her face. Her face was lit with lights, and she stared in awe at herself in the mirror while she transformed from rebel leader to figurehead queen.

"It's a culture shock, for certain," Jenna told me. "I fear I won't ever get used to this."

"They forced you into it," I said.

"Perhaps this is good," she said. "The people get to keep their sham of a monarchy, while we can still divide power with a republic. Checks and balances and even little political parties. Maybe it'll be fun."

"Sounds terrible."

Careful not to move her upper body, she kicked me, and her foot clinked against my metal legs.

"Ow."

"Don't lie, Redrim. It didn't hurt."

I smiled and walked toward the open windows. The curtains billowed with another passing breeze, and far in the distance was a mess of noise. Echoes are what they were. Something massive grinding across the ground. I knew what it was. It was my battleship being tugged down the main street by a small fleet of tanks, and the metal-against-asphalt crunch of noise killed me.

My poor armor. This would shave a whole-ass meter right off the bottom by the time they'd take it to the desert. At least there, we could recycle the sand and refill its resource reservoir. As I needed.

I took a deep breath of the cool morning air. The crowds were already growing in the alleys and nearby roads, mostly just early birds to get those good spots before anyone else. It was an important day, after all. It was the crowning of the new queen, and no one would be willing to miss it.

Not even the crew.

"I should apologize," I said.

"For what?"

"Your father. And for Thomas."

She said nothing. I didn't dare look back at her.

I continued, "I could've tried to save them, but I didn't."

"You were just a small recycler then," she said. "And besides, Vil was there, and--"

"It's not that. It's that I hadn't even resolved to try. In fact, I hated them. I hated your brother and your father, and for a moment, I even hated you."

There was a pause between us. The breeze came, and the curtains blew, and a wagon creaked along the street beneath me. Finally, Jenna laughed.

"You fuckin' dork, Redrim. You hated me enough to make me queen, then? To travel all across the world and to overcome countless challenges just to end up here, not even as a final stop--" she laughed again, "--but just as a pause on your journey. Redrim, you dumb bitch," she said sweetly. "You really are trash, but you're the best trash I've ever known."

A hand reached out and pet me on the head. It was Jenna, standing on a chair to give me head pats. I smiled and pet her right back.

"Thanks, kid," I said.

----------------------------------------

The crowd applauded, and the horns blared out across the city. Flags flapped victoriously against the deep blue skies, and the marching band began to play.

Wrapped in a hooded cloak, I galloped out of the city like some trash can-knight-horse hybrid and out of the city.

The marching band marched. Knights presented their arms, and the aristocrats lined up to pay homage. Confetti and flower petals rained down on them from above.

I blazed across the soft grass and into the desert. In the distance, the battleship, with only a skeleton crew to guard it.

The rebel forces, the Card King and Doc Jackelope and Jessie and Vil and everyone else stood proud with excited faces as the head priest presented the crown and as Jenna knelt to receive it.

"Cassandra," I ordered. "Do it."

"If you must."

Pink gas shot out across the hull of the ship, and the rebel guards dropped limp. I hopped over and onto the deck. And a rifle bolt clacked behind me. "Freeze," the voice said.

Jenna was crowned. The people cheered at their new monarch, and the skies lit with fireworks.

The guard behind me wore a gas mask, but he shook with a sudden spark of electricity. As he fell, a recycler caught him--a dungeon mob. From the bridge, my trash knight mob carried one of the technicians in its arms, and already the rest of the mobs were removing the incapacitated soldiers off the ship.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

I didn't need a crew where I was going.

Jenna looked for me, but she didn't find me. It didn't matter. She had an entire city now rooting for her. She waved and smiled as a monarch would, and the crowds began to grow restless for the coming afterparty.

The rocket engines flared to life. I flicked on and off the switches, handled the knobs and controls and little machinery blip blops as Cassandra commanded me, and when it was time, I looked back at the city, at my friends and comrades, and I turned away.

The battleship turned, the rockets blasted to full power, and I took off to never be seen again.

They watched me leave from the palace courtyard. There were no tears. Just acceptance. We were finished, and that was that. The adventure was done, but for me, I just had one more quest to do.

----------------------------------------

I landed the ship in the mountains, on my old estate.

It was still here. Most of it. The walls were up and covered in ivy, the plants long since dead, and for the most part, it was more of an ancient ruin than a mansion.

It pained me to look at it. I hadn't been in since the start of this whole mess, and now having seen it, I decided not to go in. There wasn't anything in there but old memories anyway. Memories that I didn't need to keep.

Hmm-click.

> +1 Fire potion

I tossed through the window, and I watched it burn, all of it, and just as it did Vil, I felt myself rise from the burden lifted.

I breathed in the smoke, and I felt the resolve.

> Work Order Complete:

>

> +Hull Repair

>

> +50 Nukes

>

> +23,617,512 XP

By the time my old home burned to ash, the sun had begun to set, and it cast a warm glow across the mountains. My ship sat there patiently for me, waiting for our final trip. It wouldn't be easy, that I knew, but I had to do it.

This was the suicide mission. There was no way we could fight against a massive navy such as that, not even with this massive raid boss ship. All it would take to win was a simple gamble. A sharp dive into Marianna's position with a few dozen nukes to blast us all to dust.

"Imsi," said Cassandra. "Given the distance and time of day, it would be wise to depart soon so that you arrive before daybreak."

"Right."

I returned to the ship and entered the ground-level elevator. The place was cold and empty now, and I felt the hull of this behemoth click and clack in the silence.

It was somber now.

I reached the top deck and--

Something rumbled outside. The floor vibrated slightly. It was... no. It was the rocket engines staring up.

"Cassandra, scan for lifeforms," I said.

"There are no lifeforms on this ship," she said back.

There was only one answer. The ship was haunted. As terrifying as this prospect was, I had a potion for this.

Hmm-click.

> +1 Purification Potion

I hurried up the steps and up several floors--mind racing and preparing myself for this inevitable ghost battle--and I burst into the bridge with a roar of a warcry, and I hurled the potion and--

Jessie caught it.

I blinked.

The bridge was filled with people. Everyone was here. Jessie and Vil and the Gimp King and the technicians and the crew. All staring with sly smiles and expectant faces.

I chuckled awkwardly. "Uh, hey."

Jessie flung the potion back, and it shattered across my face. The thin smell of incense coated me. "You're a dumbass, you know?" she said. "All I needed to do was triangulate your position using my GPS-mancer skill to figure out where you were."

"But how did you--"

"We hired a porter to make us a portal to the ship, then we had thousands of us file through one-by-one." She aimed a long scroll of paper at me and smirked. "Here's the bill."

The others laughed. I scratched the back of my neck, and I felt the heat of embarrassment rise through me. "Damnit, guys, I was trying to be cool."

The Card King emerged and stepped toward me. "I'm sorry, Redrim, but I must arrest you for dereliction of duty."

"But it's my ship," I said.

"But I know you're a masochist, and you'll take the punishment anyway."

"Yeah, you got me."

Vil shook his head. "It's a good thing we got here in time. Knowing Redrim, he'd run off and do something idiotic and end up getting fucked by a bear."

The others nodded in agreement.

"Ah, Redrim," said the Gimp King, dangling in the sex swing above us. "To think you had almost forgotten our agreement!"

"Of course not," I said. I actually did.

His rumbling chuckle pulsed through us, and his bulge throbbed with power. "After we defeat Marianna, then we will be free to train my gimp brethren to completion. They require but one more evolution, but we must discover it together."

"Okay."

The Card King turned me around and cuffed me right as the heroes burst in. The knight had crumbs on his face, and the mage carried a basket of hot dogs behind them. "Sir Redrim!" he said, offended. "By the heavens, to think you'd leave us behind on our most important side quest!"

The healer agreed. The archer rolled her eyes with a smile.

"Yeah, my bad," I said. "I, uh, just wanted to fly around for a bit."

He slapped his hand on my shoulder and pet me aggressively. "Sir Redrim! This is a quest to defeat a tyrant! Sidequest or not, this is our main quest now."

"Yep."

A screen blinked on beside me, and Doc Jackelope's face appeared. "Bravo, Redrim. The new engine drive is now online, and--oh--" he noticed everyone staring and smiling. "Ah, yes. I'm just here for the science, you see." He blushed a bit, and his face clicked off.

I lowered my head and shook it. These guys were too much, and now the idea of a suicide attack was right the fuck out the window. Now I just needed to make a new plan, and--

Jessie slapped me in the back of the head. "Stop brooding, cocksucker! We're trying to have a moment together!" She yelled out the door. "Bring them in. That's your cue!"

Noise came in, no, a band. It was--for fuck's sake--that pirate asshole. He marched in with exaggerated steps while his mariachi band followed him, strumming on guitars and blowing on horns, and everybody began to sing and clap, and the pirate said, "Yarr, Redrim, we're in it for the adventure, for where else will we get our muse?"

"Where will we get our muse~" sang his backup singers.

And the pirate captain raised his hand and opened his mouth as the spirit of music rose within him, and he began to sing.

I turned away. "Begin countdown! Prepare to embark!"

They didn't stop playing their song as the ship readied and the crew hurried to their positions.

I stood at the Redrim Core drive in my power stance. Arms crossed, head back, feet shoulder-width apart. Metal tentacles locking me in place.

The technicians barked status updates and orders, and the Card King readied himself at the helm.

When the ship was ready, I flung back my cape dramatically and let it billow behind me. Then, I gave the order that echoed throughout the ship. "Super Atomic Sadist Drive: Activate!"

The rockets flared alive, and together, we took off toward the sunset.