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12: Obi Imsi, Terrible Person

"Sorry about everything," the girl said. "And sorry about my brother. He's just been really stressed lately with everything."

I said nothing.

A line of gold sunlight fell in from between the curtains, lighting the dust that hung in the air. The light fell on her, and she squinted against it as she knelt in front of me. Maybe she was expecting a conversation (with a trash can), or maybe she just wanted someone who could listen. Either way, I wasn't interested. She was just a lame teenager who would likely turn into some pathetic slut like all women do.

"Mom passed away a while ago," she said. "Back when Queen Marianna took power. She was imprisoned on charges of treason, but we all knew it was a scheme to remove her from office." She looked away. "Thomas and Father haven't been the same since. None of us have."

Wait. A while ago? I thought Marianna had just killed the king and taken power last week. Actually, I killed the king, but that's not what's important.

"With the ban on weapons, we've lost the family business," she said. "We have nothing left to do but fight back."

At this point, I just wanted her to stop talking. I was bored. This was boring. She was boring. I did not give a damn about the plight of lesser humans such as herself or her family or her people or whatever else anybody might pull out of their ass. It was just the usual dribble of common folk, like rumors or sports or taxes.

I always kept to myself and my girls, taking them on luxurious vacations or on adventures far from here. We never needed anything else. I was all-powerful, insanely wealthy, endlessly respected. I had everything. But now I had nothing.

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It honestly hurt a little once I reconsidered it. The seed of doubt twitched with growth at the thought that I may never get my human form back, and if I did, would I get my life back? Surely I could. It took time to level up and build wealth, and I could always get more girls. Would I even need a human body to accomplish such a thing? Probably not. Until I could max out my stats and skills as a sentient trash can, none of those questions could be answered.

The girl, Jenna, had been talking as I tuned her out. Her expressions changed almost as often as her mouth blabbered on. Sadness, excitement, anger, frustration, happiness, a stupid pouty face, annoyance, another stupid pouty face, another stupid pouty face. "Answer me!" she demanded playfully.

Wrrrrr-Click. "WHAT?"

"Why were you imprisoned? Were you a bad person?"

Wrrrr-Click. "TREASON."

Her eyes lit up in fiery glee. She slammed herself against me in a hug, then backed away again. "I'm so glad!" she said. "Thomas kept telling me you were probably a murderer or an insane person. I told him that it didn't matter, that you were helping us anyway because you believed in us." She sighed with a smile. "I'm so glad you're with us against the Queen."

This entire conversation annoyed me. She was a noisy kid who talked too much. Endearing, sure. Obnoxious, yes. To my greatest shame, I was eager for Assface to return with more trash to pour into me so, at the very least, I could get this taste of shit out of my mouth.

Jenna swung a large cloth around me like a cloak and buttoned the collar. "Here," she said. "Now you can wear the uniform of the resistance like the rest of us!"

This insane little girl was dressing up a recycling bin like a child's toy. I did like the way I looked, however, even though at the end of the day, I was still a fuckin' garbage can. It was actually quite warm against my pristine metallic body, and it smelled like oranges.

Wrrr-Click. "THANKS," I told her.

A wide, heartwarming smile lit her face.

Maybe she wasn't all that bad.