Despite asking to talk to me, Pep stayed mostly silent on the walk home, only humming some tune as she walked, hands behind her back. I trailed a couple of steps behind, wanting to say something, but not sure where to start.

I knew I had to clear up the misunderstanding somehow. Pep was too nice for her own good, if she thought there was something between me and Sai she’d back off, even at the cost of her own happiness. I had to prevent that. But I didn’t know how.

All I could do was bite the bullet and start talking.

“Hey Pe-“

“I’ve come to a decision, Kabucchi. Would you hear me out on it?” Just as I began to talk, Pep cut me off. She didn’t turn around to face me, but she stopped on the spot. Without waiting for me to reply, she began speaking again. “Watching you and Sai-chan talk today, I realised something. You and I, we’ve never really been on the same wavelength, have we?”

I was a little confused by her proclamation. She had just said she had made some sort of decision, so what was with the weird segue?

“I mean… I don’t think there’s anyone that I’ve really been ‘on the same wavelength’ with before. Don’t I say it all the time? Human beings can never truly understand each other.”

“But you and Sai-chan seem to understand each other pretty well, wouldn't you say?” Her voice stayed resolute, but she still didn’t turn. “Between all the strategy talk and the playground insults and psychoanalysis you two were talking about, I just couldn’t keep up. At times I wasn’t sure if you were talking about Chess or life or anything at all. But neither of you ever seemed to get lost, even for a moment. You left me behind and continued on at your own pace, perfectly matched.”

“You’re overthinking, Pep,” I reassured her. “We were just talking about chess. Throwing personal jabs is something we both do because we don’t get along, but there was no deep philosophical discussion hidden under it all. Just chess. The only reason you couldn't follow it is because you don’t know the game as well as we do.”

Despite my attempt at reassurance, Pep shook her head quietly, before finally turning to face me. She wore a melancholic smile, less bright but more genuine than the one she wore in the club.

“That’s just not right, Kabucchi. I can’t follow your conversations because I’m just not as smart as the two of you. You say all these flowery sentences with fancy words and I feel like I’m completely left in the dust. I just can’t feel worthy of being with the person I love when I’m so many steps behind.” She turned her gaze to the ground as she spoke, and her smile slowly began to disappear.

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“Don’t be daft. You’re one of the smartest people I know, you just don’t waste your smarts on pointless crap like talking fancy. Just look at how fast you’ve picked up chess. Most people would still be forgetting the way pieces move with your level of experience, you’re already starting to understand basic strategy. You’re so much more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. If anything, you’re far too good for Sai.” To tell the truth, it irritated me to hear Pep put herself down. I knew just how smart and talented she was, even if she refused to see it herself.

“Y’know, I think that’s how a lot of people would see it if we were together. That I’m the one ‘dating down’ and lowering myself to a level that should be beneath me. But I know that’s not true. I’ll always be the reacher, not the settler. The one that has to work to be good enough. Which is why I’ve come to my decision.” She stopped to take a deep breath in, before finally continuing. “If I win my match next Monday, I’m going to confess my true feelings. No hiding behind half truths or hints. A blunt, direct confession of love.”

“And if you lose?”

“I’ll give up on my love forever.”

“Pep!”

“That’s my decision. Don’t try to talk me out of it.” Her tone was suddenly much more assertive than before. “I’ve always heard the same thing from you and my parents: if I applied myself, I could be a genius. If you’re right about that, and I really do have that potential, this is my one chance to prove it to myself. If you’re wrong, and I fail here, that’ll be the sign that I can never be worthy of the person I love. That I can never stand on equal footing.”

“But that’s absurd! You only have a week to train. Less than that, even. Even if you’re twice the genius I think you are, a week is too short a time to learn enough to conclusively beat a random opponent with no prior information. Why are you so insistent on denying your own happiness?”

“I’m not denying my own happiness. I’m offering you yours.” She still refused to meet my eye. “You… you’re a better match for Sai. You claim the two of you don’t get along, but that’s a lie. You get along so well that… well, it makes me feel a little left out. So if this game proves what I already suspect, that I’m too far behind to ever stand even with the two of you… the only thing I can do is bow out and stop being the third wheel.”

“Pep, you’re being ridicu-“

“One match. Next Monday. That’s all I need to win. If you can’t believe in me to even do that… well, that just proves my point, right?”

I swallowed. She had talked me completely into a corner. She was wrong. Dead wrong. So wrong that anyone could tell immediately. But I couldn’t argue back. There was nothing I could say that wouldn’t corroborate the idea in her mind. She had played a winning move against herself, and was waiting for me to deliver checkmate. My only option left was…

“Alright. Next Monday. I understand.” Reluctantly agreeing with her flawed logic, I put out my fist. “Knock ‘em dead.”

“I will,” she replied, meeting my first with her own. “I have to.”