“Hehehe, Kabucchi, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!” Pep cackled maniacally as she confidently moved her bishop to take the queen that I had left entirely undefended on its starting square. Her smug face annoyed me.

“Oh no, my queen!” I said, with as much sardonicism as I could physically muster. “Checkmate in two, by the way.”

I moved my bishop to the f2 square with check, forcing king e2, after which I would checkmate with bishop to f4. Classic petrov-Stafford gambit.

“Gah- you… you tricked me, you bastard! I hate you!” Pep said, throwing down her queen and pouting like a child

“What, did you really expect me to blunder my queen on move six? You’re so naïve.”

“But you said that I should always look for trades that win me material?”

“I also said to stop treating chess like a one player game.” I sighed, having tried to teach her this lesson several times. “Look, we’re playing clockless, which means you have as much time to think as you could possibly need. The very first thing you should be doing is looking for immediate threats. Like, look here…” I moved the pieces back a couple of moves to the point where I seemingly hung my queen. “You got greedy as soon as you saw bishop-takes-queen on d8, but you ignored this here. Your f2 pawn was under attack by two pieces at once. If your king is still on it’s starting square and someone is attacking this pawn, they’re almost always setting up a check trap. Think of the series of moves, and try to figure out where you first made a mistake.”

“Uhh…” Pep ran the game back through in her head, moving the pieces as she needed and looking at the most obvious possible moves. “Uhh… why not take the horsey after you take the pawn?”

“That looks like a good move, but remember the bishop. Play the line out in your head.”

“Okay…”

She correctly guessed that I was talking about sacrificing the bishop on the same pawn as it had attacked before, and as she played it out in her head, I could see her expression get brighter as she figured out the problem on her own.

“Oh! Oh! If you take the pawn with the bishop, I lose my queen! Right? Because if I try and take the bishop…” she said, playing the line out on the board, “then you just get the queen for free with your own. And if I move the king out of the way instead… you check with the other bishop and my queen is stuck behind it!”

“Hey, great job! A lot of newer players wouldn’t have seen that. That’s called a skewer attack, it’s kind of like the fork I showed you before but the pieces you’re attacking are on the same line this time.”

“I see I see!”

Pep seemed genuinely giddy to have figured it out mostly on her own. To tell the truth, I was pretty proud of her too. It took a few attempts, but it seemed like she was starting to get the hang of analysing potential attacks. It was something that took most people a much longer time to grasp, so I was legitimately impressed at her progress.

“You’ve come pretty damn far in such a short amount of time. You should be proud of yourself.”

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

“Hehe, thank you, thank you," she replied, her cheeks tinged a little red. “So umm… since I did a good job, could you… maybe… pat my head?”

“The fuck? God no.”

“What?!”

“What are you, twelve? What sort of eighteen year old asks for headpats. And besides, we still don’t have the romance tag.”

“We don’t?!”

“Check the novel page if you don’t believe me.”

“Argh, why do you have to ruin everything with your stupid meta jokes!”

“Ahem…” came a voice from the edge of the table, sounding a tad ticked off and very sarcastic. “Would you two perhaps prefer… a little more privacy?”

“Ack- sorry Sai…” somehow I had totally forgotten that Sai was even there.

“Sai-chan! I… meant I wanted headpats from you! Not this grumpy old sod!”

“I’m afraid I must also decline.”

“What the hell?!”

“It was only a few lines ago that I chastised the two of you for flirting in the clubroom. I would prefer not to be immediately rendered a hypocrite.”

“But it’s just between us girls, surely that doesn’t count. Unless you’re saying…” Pep smoothly moved closer to Sai and gently put her fingers under the sitting girl’s chin, forcing her to make eye contact, “…you see me not just as a friend, but as a woman?”

God damn, Pep, slow your roll. It’s only been two chapters since you said you wouldn’t do this yet.

“Ah-I-you-I’m- I can assure you I have no idea what you’re talking about…”

The usually composed delinquent of the club turned bright red and turned her head away, utterly failing to prevent her voice from wavering. Now it was my turn to be annoyed by the flirting. Just how tsundere are you?

“I hate to cut the romantic tension but we have five days before the tournament, don’t you guys think we should be spending that time actually playing chess?” I said, trying to divert the club’s attention back to the matter at hand.

“Y-yes! I-I fully concur! We should return to training posthaste!”

Real smooth there, Sai. Getting all formal and uptight doesn’t make you seem any less flustered. What’s up with that anyway? What sort of delinquent speaks like she’s talking to a member of the royal family? I hadn’t questioned it before but this is the worst attempt at gap moe I’ve ever seen.

“You’re such a downer, Kabucchi. Spoiling all the fun.” Despite her needlessly rude remarks, Pep gave a self satisfied ‘hmph,’ before continuing “if me getting closer with Sai-chan is making you jealous you can just say it, y’know.”

“No, you’re completely off base.”

“You don’t have to deny it so quickly! At least hesitate!”

“I’m switching the board so I’m on white this time.”

“Don’t just change the subject!”

Completely ignoring her dramatics, I spun the board and reset the pieces back to their starting squares. Wanting to keep up the theme of forcing her to consider her opponents moves, I forewent my beloved Vienna opening for an attack much more common in lower ranks: the fried liver attack, a powerful variation of the Italian game that threatens both the queen and kingside rook.

Despite still pouting like a child, Pep played along until move 4, at which point white sets up the attack on the f7 pawn. At that point she slowed down, realising I was setting up a trap, and started to considering options out loud.

“Hmm… the bishop and knight are both going for this pawn…”

“Play it out in your head and look for the active threats.”

“Uhh…” I watched her trace the bishop attack with her finger, before realising that the bishop only won a check and couldn’t attack anything else, causing her to then trace the knight line instead. “Oh! I got it! The knight attacks the rook and the queen! I have to prevent the knight from getting there!”

“Hey, you got it. Now, can you see any way to stop the attack?”

“Let’s see…” She put her hand to her chin like she was doing some complex calculation, staying that way for a while. Once again she traced the lines out with her hand, looking increasingly frustrated, before suddenly appearing excited. “I found it! If I block the bishop with a pawn, the knight can’t take here without dying, right?”

“Yep, that’s the best move.” Since she found the right line without prompting, I figured I’d throw her a bone this time, so I leaned over and patted her head. “Good job, Pep. You should be proud.”

Considering she’s the one who asked me to do it, I expected Pep to be happy. Instead, she started blushing furiously with an angry expression on her face.

“You philanderer, Kabucchi. Playing with a girls heart like this.”

“What a despicable man you are. Haven’t you a soul?”

“How am I the bad guy here?!”