“What’s wrong with you?”

“You want a list?”

“Okay, smartass, what’s wrong with you today specifically?”

The person questioning me the moment I got home was a pain in the arse of epic proportions. A squatter in my home who had the audacity to make me run her errands and do her favours. A loathsome credited who I loved very much. The mythical demon known as the little sister. More specifically, my own maternal half-sister, Yaki.

“What makes you think there’s something wrong, Yacchan?”

“Never call me that again, you gross bastard. And you’ve been wearing an expression so foul I can smell it before I see it.”

“Light is faster than scent.”

“Shut up. Stop dodging the question.”

I sighed, knowing it was futile to argue with her. Yaki knew me better than anyone, she was the only one that could tell my “I’m in a bad mood because I exist” face apart from my “I’m in a bad mood because something actually happened” face. Even if I told her there was nothing going in, she’d pester me about it.

“I’m just moping over something someone said in school today, nothing serious,” I replied nonchalantly, hoping she’d be content with that shrug-off.

“Hmm? Since when are you ever concerned with other people’s opinions?” She asked, clearly not content with being shrugged off. It was a good point, too. Listening to other people in any capacity at all was a rarity for me. The lion does not concern itself with the opinions of the sheep. That being said…

“In this case, it’s someone whose opinion might actually hold some weight…” I admitted reluctantly.

“Never thought I’d see the day that you actually value someone else’s thoughts. What’s the occasion? You and Peps have a falling out?”

“Nah, it’s not Pep. I stopped listening to her 15 years ago.”

“Can toddlers even have conversa- y’know what, not important, who else do you actually listen to? And at your school, no less. I thought they were, in your words, “a gaggle of quarterwits more interested in shoplifting and teenage pregnancy than chess?” Doesn’t seem like you exactly have the highest opinion of them.”

“This new girl is… different.”

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

“Hmmmmmm? That mean you like her?”

“It means she’s a halfwit, not a quarterwit.”

“I don’t know why I even bother with you.”

“I don’t know either.”

Yaki sighed a sigh so deep I was worried she’d run out of air. For some godforsaken reason, she had taken it upon herself to ‘break me out of my shell,’ which means forcing me to socialise with people with barely enough functioning brain cells to operate safety scissors. I made it a point to disappoint her whenever possible so she’d give up, but unfortunately it seemed like stubbornness was one of the things I inherited from my mum’s side.

“Hit with me with if. What’d she say to make you go from 80’s depressed musical artist to 90’s depressed musical artist?”

“Does that even… whatever, I’ll just tell. She said that I think I’m better than everyone else, and just write other people off as braindead morons without giving them a chance. Can you believe that?”

“Yes.”

Heavy silence dropped as we looked each other dead in the eyes, both of us wearing expressions that said ‘I’m completely done with your bullshit.’

“Thanks for the assist, sis.”

“Oh, come off it, you wanker. That’s the single most accurate description of you I’ve ever heard. If you were a middle aged white woman that could be your Facebook bio. How long had you known this girl at this point?” She asked

“Uhh… forty eight hours, give or take?”

“Forty eigh-?! It took her two days to figure you out completely?!”

“I am not a narcissist!”

“Last week you told me that you’re the human equivalent of perfection and that everyone else’s quality as a person is dependent on their similarity to you.”

“I was complimenting you! We share half of our DNA, that makes you half perfect!”

“You’re such a prick it’s genuinely unbelievable.” Yaki put her palm to her face and shook her head. “I have no idea what Peps sees in you.”

“…good genetics?”

“…I’ll take that. Still, what is it exactly that makes you immediately judge everyone as lower than you? Why do you just assume everyone you meet isn’t worth the time of day?”

“Have you met the people at my school? I’ve seen sign language gorillas more intelligent than half of them.”

“And I’ve seen sign language gorillas with better communication skills than you. By that logic you should get on swimmingly.”

“Die in a fire.”

“You know you’d save me if that was happening.”

“…dammit.”

I couldn’t exactly deny it. For as effortlessly cruel as I could be to practically anyone else, Yaki was my weakness. The overprotectiveness of an older sibling was the only thing that could outweigh the bitterness of a loner.

“Still, it’s not like I don’t know why you act like this. It… must have been really hard for you…” Yaki said solemnly. The mood shifted somewhere I didn’t want it to go.

“I… I really don’t wanna talk about it.” I dropped my gaze to the ground. I knew exactly what she was getting at, but it was the last thing I wanted to think about right now.

“I get it, I get it. But if something this girl said has actually gotten to you, you must at least respect her more than most people. Considering you have no friends other than Peps, this could be your chance to actually have someone to talk to for once. If you’ve got a brain in your head, you’ll apologise to her.”

“Hey, I don’t need friends, okay? Alone is the best way to be,” I retorted. “But… since she’s a member of the club now, I guess I should at least apologise to her. I’ll make it right tomorrow, I guess.”

“Good boy.” She patted my head like a pet, which earned her a death stare. She, of course, responded with a massive grin.

Dammit. I really was weak when it came to my sister.