Club time rolled around and Sai got to teaching Pep pretty much the moment they both arrived. It was clear that she hadn’t been lying before, she really did enjoy teaching chess. And it seemed Pep was having fun learning too, though with her eternal stupid grin it wasn’t always easy to tell if she was actually having fun or just smiling for the sake of smiling.

Not that that’s a bad thing, of course. I’m glad one of us has something to smile about.

I hadn’t talked to Pep about the conversation I had had with Sai earlier that day, and to be honest I was somewhat dreading it. I had always known that my proximity to her had the potential to cause problems in her love life, but this was the first time I had been forced to see that effect in action. If Pep wanted a chance with Sai, Sai had to know that there was nothing romantic between us. And for that, we were gonna have to widen the distance between us. That wasn’t gonna be a fun conversation to have.

But that’s the consequence of the sort of person I’ve decided to be. I’m an active problem for those around me. By my very nature, I am corrosive to the social fabric that tied people together. So when a kind soul like Pep insisted on getting close, she achieved nothing but burning away her connection to others. I had gotten complacent and allowed that process to start already, which meant it had to be nipped in the bud sooner rather than later.

Still, it was a conversation at least best saved until it was just the two of us. For the moment, I would content myself with the status quo.

“Uhhh… Kabucchi?” Came the voice of Peppi, snapping me out of my deep thoughts. “You’ve been… staring a hole through me for quite a while. Is there something wrong?”

Oh, great. What an idiot. Here I am saying I don’t wanna cause any misunderstandings for Sai, all the while staring at Pep like a lovelorn fool. Moron.

“Ah- sorry, I was just watching your eye movements. I was trying to figure out your thought process so I can advise you on where you’re going wrong, and for that I needed to see how you looked at the board and pieces.”

“Woah, that’s cool! You can really do that? Whaddyou see so far?”

I was, of course, lying. Reading a players thought process was a good way to help them improve, but I was not nearly good enough to do that at a high level, especially based on eye movement alone. Still, I didn’t win the National bullshitting championships by making up lies that I didn’t know how to sell.

Of course, I didn’t win the National bullshitting championships at all. I made that up. Convincing, right?

“Hmm… well, the main thing is that, when you look at your own pieces, you start looking at the lines they can play and what they can attack, but you don’t do the same for your opponents pieces. You treat them like they're stationary. Chess isn’t a one player game, you can’t just think of your own attacking line, you have to ask consider your opponent’s possible defensive or attacking moves. Their pieces aren’t static targets, they’re active threats.”

“Wow… I think I get it…”

I spouted off some generic chess advice for beginners and Pep seemed to buy it completely. The advice was legitimately useful and was something I myself was told by my dad when he got me into chess as a kid, but there’s no chance in hell I could have followed her eye movement that accurately. Especially as I was sat off to the side watching the game from where an umpire might sit.

Of course, I knew there was no way Sai would bite on such an obvious lie, but with any luck she wouldn’t pick a fight over it. She’d probably just judge me a pseudointellectual asshole that’s trying to upstage her with bullshit, and being the calm soul that she is she would decide not to rise to such provocation. At least, that’s what I hoped.

“Ah- yes, I was… um… thinking the same thing. That’s right. I caught onto that issue too, yes. I was going to bring it up soon.. as soon as I finished teaching you about piece activity… that was the next thing… I was going to say it too…”

She trailed off into barely comprehensible mumbles. She seemed… embarrassed? She shied her gaze away from Pep and looked down a little, letting some of her naturally long hair hide part of her face.

No way… had she actually bought that bullshit? And not only bought it, but lied that she had thought the same as a way to protect her pride?

Was my estimation of her intelligence unfairly high? Academically she was certainly strong but gullibility like that was rare among those with an inkling of common sense. I was almost disappointed.

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Meanwhile, Pep was seemingly thinking long and hard about her next move, mapping out every possible move Sai could make and what she needed to avoid. Noticing threats and counters was something that became intuitive and natural over time, but I was impressed to see her do it pretty competently with effort right out of the gate.

As she meticulously considered everything she saw as a viable threat, a knock on the clubroom door dragged my attention away from the game. As the only one not playing, it only made sense that I be the one who answered it.

I got up and opened the door, and was surprised to see the clubs advisor, a 30-something teacher called Miss Kyoushi, standing there confusedly holding something.

“Miss Kyoushi? It’s rare to see you drop by the clubroom. Something the matter?” I asked.

“I… suppose you could say that…” replied the teacher, holding the item out to me with a baffled look. “This letter somehow ended up on my desk, and by the… inscription… on the front, I can only guess it’s intended for you.”

“Huh? For me?” I took the letter from her hand, and the moment I saw the writing on the front, I felt a pit in my stomach.

To the warrior captain of the war games guild

I knew one bastard on the planet who would call refer to the president of a chess club that way. And he wasn’t someone I particularly wanted to meet again.

“Yeah, that’s for me alright…” I sighed, realising my day was about to become yet more troublesome. “I’ll give it a read through and tell you if there’s anything important in there that you need to know. Thanks, Kyoushi-sensei.”

“Of course, Kaburi. I’ll be out of your way.”

Miss Kyoushi gave a quick bow and wandered off back to her office. I closed the door and sat down to read the letter, but with each and every word I became more aggravated. Not because the contents of the letter were in any way offensive, but because the chuunibyou-infested manchild who had penned it seemingly hadn’t changed in the slightest in the four years since I had last seen him.

“You did well to deny my queen’s movement. You may not have seen it, but a series of checks with the queen and knight would have otherwise lead to a queen-sacrifice smothered checkmate in a handful of moves.” Sai said after Peppi finally made her move.

“Hehe, I think I’m starting to get the hang of this.”

“Well, you better keep up that momentum, cos it looks like we’ve got some asses to kick next week.”

***

“To he who leadeth those who participate in the game of war,

I and thee have unsettled business on this account. After many a year of silence on thy part, I now hear that thee hath recruited two new comrades to thy side. As it so happens, I too am commander of one such club.

As thou refuseth to accept that I am greater skill than thee even now, it seems only appropriate that thee and I settle our score once and for all. But such a longstanding rivalry cannot be ended merely on our account, nay. Upon the afternoon of the day of the moon next week, we shall pit our clubs against one another. We too have a beginner, so feel not that this proposal puts thee at a disadvantage.

I shall expect thy response posthaste.

Thy ever faithful adversary,

Kishi”

Sai finished reading the letter aloud, her voice getting more and more confused the further in that she got. I couldn’t exactly blame her: what sort of moron talks like this in the modern day.

“Uhh… Kabucchi? What the hell is that all about?” Asked Pep.

“You don’t remember, Pep? Kishi went to our old school, he was captain of the chess club there. I stomped him once and got bored, so he followed me around and challenged me all the time. You not remember the weird kid that ambushed us during lunch a few times?”

“Huh?” She tilted her head to the side, before clicking her fingers suddenly. “Oh! You’re talking about Willy Shaker, right?!”

“Oh, god, I forgot about that awful nickname…”

Despite how annoying the little rat was, I had to feel bad for him on that one. He wanted people to call him “William Shakespeare” because of the stupid way he talked, but everyone mocked him for it, and he got stuck with “Willy Shaker” instead.

Juvenile humour, but I can’t pretend I didn’t join in when he pissed me off. Which was often.

“Seems to be a letter of challenge, set for next monday. And now Peppi-san and I have been dragged into your petty squabble as well,” said Sai, exasperated.

“Hey, look, I’m not exactly happy about this either. The bastard bugged me for years, and just when I finally thought I was rid of him, here he shows up back again. All I can hope is that putting him down one last time might get him to piss off for good.”

“And… how did this person find out that your club now consisted of thrice the number of its previous members?”

“Plot convenience.”

“Of course. How silly of me to ask. God forbid a competent explanation.”

“Look, I know I’m in no position to ask favours of you, but I really wanna kick this guys ass so he stops being a pain in mine. Could I ask you to play against his second?”

“I see little reason that I should help you,” Sai replied, “but the pretentiousness of this letter does make me want to crush the spirits of its writer into dust. For that reason alone I will assist you in this matter.”

“Thanks, I’ll owe you one for this.” I really didn’t wanna owe her shit, but Kishi had been a thorn in my side for long enough that I just about considered it worth it.

“What about me? What’s in it for me?” Said Pep as I completely ignored her.

“You? How many do you think you already owe me? Playing a single chess game is the absolute least you can do.”

“What?! Why does Sai-chan get a genuine request and thank you?!”

“Because she has literally no reason to help me. You’re very easy to guilt trip.”

“I hate you so much, Kabucchi.”

“And yet, you’ll help me anyway.”

“...let’s get back to learning chess.”