The next day, I wanted to keep my mind off the complete mess I had made the day before as much as possible. Thankfully, when I saw Pep in class she acted pretty much like the entire exchange had never happened, and we talked exactly as we normally would. I felt my voice waver and crack on several occasions as I remembered her crying face, but she seemed entirely unperturbed.

It was almost scary how good she was at returning to the status quo. But I can’t say I wasn’t relieved. My own stupidity could have seriously strained our friendship, so I was glad to know that no such fate had befallen me.

The school day passed as usual, with little of note other than eating lunch with Sai once again, which resulted in little more than our usual exchange of rude remarks and insults. Before I knew it, the last bell had rung and the three of us were in the clubroom once again.

With only one board between the three of us, it once again became a matter of me observing Pep learn the game from Sai. She had picked up the fundamentals very quickly and Sai had begun to teach her basic strategy. Piece activity, danger levels, the sort of buzzwords you hear from a GothamChess video when you start losing online games and angrily look up how to get good.

“That move does defend the hanging pawn, but it locks your bishop in the corner. At best you lose tempo when I start attacking with my pawns, at worst you may let me trap your bishop completely which would put you down on material,” Sai explained.

“I see… so what would have been better, then?”

“Well, instead of opening up queenside castle with the bishop, you could move the knight off of the g1 square to protect the pawn and allow kingside castle next turn. Castling on the king’s side is generally better because it’s a tighter defensive formation.”

“Hold on, I don’t think kingside castle is right for white here,” I interrupted. “The d file is clear of pawns and black’s queen is still on it’s starting square. Bishop d2 into long castle puts a rook on an open centre file and opens up the potential of bishop a5 for a double attack on the queen, the bishop protected by whites own queen on a4. Which, by the way, was a terrible move.”

“No experienced player would fall for such an obvious tactic. And placing the king on c1 with the dark-squared bishop away makes the diagonal check far too strong to risk.”

“It’s a good thing she won’t be playing an experienced player then. With newbies the easiest way to make them crumble is to just keep applying pressure, a double attack on the queen wins a lot of tempo if the response is poor.”

“I’m trying to teach her to improve naturally, not with cheap tricks for a single game that she’ll have to un-learn later. What is it about this challenge that has you so desperate to win that you’d teach such unconventional tactics?” Sai said disapprovingly.

“Why do I wanna win so bad? Because he’s a chuunibyou bastard, that’s why. He thinks he’s so much smarter than he is because he talks fancy and spouts a bunch of sophistry,” I spat, his very existence leaving a poor taste in my mouth.

“I see the pot is in full force attacking the kettle today. How exactly can you of all people accuse someone of sophistry?”

“I have very poor self awareness.”

“Isn’t that a self-contradictory statement?”

“I wouldn’t know, my self awareness is too poor for me to introspect on the things I say.”

“Well, I’m glad we quashed that little philosophical quandary,” she said sarcastically. “Still, if my teaching methods trouble you so, then how about a match? Surely the better player will also make the better teacher?”

“You sure you wanna take that bet? I destroyed you last time.”

“I believe our current record stands even on wins.”

“You won the first game through a trick that works only once. I won the second through skill.”

“If you’re truly so proficient, you won’t back down from the challenge, correct?”

I looked first at Sai, then at Pep, then back to Sai. I’d definitely prefer to spend more time having Pep learn since she was our obvious weakest link, but at the same time my desire to put Sai in her place was strong. After taking a moment to deliberate, I looked to Pep once again and began signing with my hands.

“Sorry about this, but I’m about to embarrass your girlfriend so bad she might never recover.”

“She’s not my girlfriend, you spoon,” she signed in response, before hurriedly adding “Well, not yet at least.”

“What on Earth are the two of you doing?” Asked Sai, who had been left out completely.

“Hmm? Sign language. We’re both fluent. JSL and BSL, to be specific,” I replied, somewhat smugly.

“Ah… I see… how very impressive,” Sai responded, though she sounded unenthused. Most people that found out that we knew sign language thought it was really interesting, so I was surprised to see her brush it off like it was nothing.

For some reason, she actually seemed a little annoyed. I knew she was mean but did she really hate deaf people that much? What a cruel person.

“Well, if we’re gonna do this, let’s get on with it. Pep, switch with me,” I said, getting us back on track.

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“Aye aye, captain!” She said, hopping up from her seat and allowing me to take her place. After a quick rock-paper-scissors, it was decided that I would play white.

“So, why exactly are you going along with this whole challenge? There something you’re hoping to gain from it?” I asked as I played the opening moves for the Italian Game.

“Is it beyond the pale in your eyes that I may simply be doing you a favour?” She replied, playing bishop to c5 for the Giuoco Piano variation.

“As if you’d be so kind. You must have a reason, I don’t believe for a second you’d help me with no personal gain,” I said, playing c3 to set up for a centre attack.

“You trust me so little?”

“Trust is the weapon that the sly use against the gullible”

“Wow, if you throw in a ‘friendship is a shackle’ and ‘kindness indicates ulterior motive’ we’ll have the whole edgelord trifecta,” she said, rounding out the classical Italian with the move knight to f6. “What exactly do you believe I could possibly have to gain from this, other than to assist my club and crush an annoying bug?”

“Perhaps you have someone you want to impress?” I replied, launching the centre attack with d4. It was a very active opening, often resulting in an early trade of multiple minor pieces if played to theory. “Someone you’re interested in, perhaps?”

“What an absurd notion. The only people who would even care about such a result are those in this club, and I assure you the only thing I’d like to impress upon you is a permanent fist mark.” She took the d4 pawn, prompting me to not take back and instead playing the aggressive move e5, threatening the f6 knight.

“Believe me, I’m not delusional enough to believe you have any interest in me.” After Sai misses the book move d5, I took back the pawn I ignored before, content that the potential knight attack on e4 had been denied. “But to join the school and win an inter-school event in less than two weeks would certainly turn heads. I just thought maybe you were looking to catch someone’s attention.”

“From the imbeciles I’ve met outside of this club? After spending a week here, I’ve no desire to know any of them any further than I have to.” She checked my king with bishop to b4, which I blocked with bishop to d2. “And besides that, the people at this school are perhaps some of the greatest dullards I have ever met. How many can you say would be interested in a sport of intelligence such as chess?”

“I know a couple of girls that like brainy women. We all desire what we lack most.”

“Oh? Then why have you yet to show any desire for common decency? And I’m certain you’re lying. For you to know the preferences of girls at this school, you’d have to speak to them.”

“Hurtful but fair. Still, you underestimate what one can hear through the grapevine. I already know of at least one girl with a bit of a crush on you.”

“Ah- I assure you you’re almost certainly mistaken. I’ve never seen popularity with women. Nor men, for that matter. Your source must be unreliable.” For someone who spoke such certain words, she was blushing quite a bit.

“What are you doing, idiot?!” Pep signed angrily.

“Trying to help you out, duh.” I replied.

“Stop trying! You suck at this!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll pack it in.”

I figured the time to grill Sai had passed anyway, as the match was close to leaving theory.

The bishop trade was made on d2, and I made the slightly less conventional option of recapturing with the knight. This blocked the queen’s line of sight to the d4 pawn, but retained a potential discovered attack on the g4 knight. I also preferred to keep my queen on that diagonal anyway for activity reasons, though it was technically suboptimal.

Sai castled and I played another suboptimal move by advancing the pawn to d5, threatening the knight. This prompted Sai to take on e5, to which I immediately took back with my own knight.

This was, without question, a black favoured position. If Sai took my knight with her own, she’d be a pawn up and in a better position. But I had taken a gamble. Sai, with a mind for theory and tactics above dynamic play, saw the opportunity to pin my knight with her rook, claiming the open file and opening up a strong position. That is, if you ignored the discovered attack from the queen on the g4 knight. I took the knight, and the momentum of the game swung way in my favour.

Even with rook capturing with check on e5, I had both positional and material advantage. After blocking the check with the bishop and moving the queen to avoid the bishop discovered attack after d6, black was in a rough position, and when I managed to queenside castle and move the knight away to give the d4 pawn a permanent rook defender, Sai realised the game was completely lost and laid down her king.

“Fuck…”

“For all your talk of tactics, you really suck at noticing discovered attacks.

“Oh, bite me, asshole.” Sai pouted and crossed her arms, which was definitely the first time she had done anything vaguely cute. “You only won because you play ridiculous moves no one could predict.”

“It’s better to be unpredictable and skilled than theoretical and bad.”

“You make a mockery of the beautiful game. Centuries of theory and you throw it to the wayside in favour of cheap tricks.”

“Theory is only important if you’re good enough to know how to use it. You lost because you’re a fundamentally worse player than me.”

“I’d rather lose with dignity than win without it.”

“You’re blinded by a misguided sense of honour and rightness."

“And you’re equally blinded by short term gains that will come back to bite further down the line.”

“This from the girl so obsessed with theory she forgets the fundamentals.”

“Theory is the basis for everything, your mockery of it will help you none.”

“Oh really? Well let’s see then. Pep, who do you think would make a better teach-”

I turned my attention to Pep, but stopped in my tracks when my eye met hers. She had her chin resting on her hands, and a wide smile that failed to reach her eyes. She had been silently and intently watching us as we bickered, which was out of character for her. Normally “silence” wasn’t in her vocabulary.

“Pep? You good? What’s with the blank stare?” I said, as she continued to silently smile at us.

“You two make a good pair, huh?” She said, smiling even wider. “You’ve known each other for such a short time but you already understand each other so well. I’m a little jealous.”

I hid a grimace at her observation. I obviously knew how wrong she was, that Sai and I were anything but a ‘good pair,’ but it also reinforced what I already suspected: the biggest obstacle to Pep and Sai getting together was me.

“Peppi-san, I can assure you that, even if given the choice between romantically pursuing this man or a cave-dwelling Neanderthal, the latter would preferable. There is no realm in infinite parallel universes in which this misanthropic troglodyte and I could be considered a ‘good pair,'” Sai said, not realising her own mistake.

“Hmm? Who said anything about romance?”

“Ack-“

She fell into the verbal trap the moment it was set. The obvious implication being that she already had romance on the mind for some reason or another.

Of course, in truth it meant no such thing. What Pep said had an obvious implication. But to someone like her, looking for an excuse to exercise her confirmation bias, it was all she needed.

“Pep, that’s not-“

Just as I began speaking, the bell signifying that club time had ended rang out through the school. I sighed. How incredibly cliche.

“Welp, sounds like club’s over. Kabucchi, spare me some time on the walk home, yeah?” Pep said cheerily as she shot to her feet.

“Huh? Ah- yeah, of course.”

Normally I would be glad for the chance to chatter away with Pep as we had gotten so used to all this time. But after a conversation like that, for once I felt myself dreading it.

I just hoped it wasn’t going where I thought it was.