Ingrid looked out onto the city from his corner office and stretched.

He had known about Mr. House for a week and a half and experience had been… less than pleasant

Fortunately, he only had one more form to submit before he could go home for the weekend and then start the ball rolling on getting a platoon mobilized.

Ingrid picked up the requisition letter, exited the building, and made his way to the courier drop off the envelope when he almost bumped into someone coming around the corner.

“Excuse me,” Ingrid said in a rush as he dodged to the side.

“Ingrid, was it?” said a familiar man’s voice, “just who I wanted to speak to.”

Ingrid froze in place.

“I-inquisitor Malcolm, I didn’t expect to run into you,” He stuttered.

“I’ve heard that you took some of the city guard into the outer city. What reason did you have for that?” asked the inquisitor.

“A-ah that was for a particular casino owner who’s refusing to pay his taxes. One M-Mr. House,” Ingrid replied.

“Were you successful in your mission?” Inquisitor Malcolm asked.

“N-no, that’s what this is for,” Ingrid stuttered again, motioning to the envelope in his hand.

“And that is?” asked inquisitor Malcolm.

“A requisition for an army platoon,” said Ingrid without stuttering.

“Hmm,” nodded the inquisitor, “carry on. It’s getting late and I suspect you’ll be heading home soon.”

“T-thank you inquisitor,” said Ingrid before quickly departing.

“How curious,” muttered the inquisitor before he too went on his way.

***

! Quest Completed: Fetch a flawless diamond with a circular brilliant cut and an enchanter’s tip !

The two people who were trying very hard to look like hardened dock workers rather than well educated wizards scooped up the chips I had offered for the quest reward and promptly hit the slots.

“Well I wish I could say that I was surprised that Hilda and Alma turned in that quest, but I’m not,” I thought before examining the diamond.

[Flawless Diamond with a Circular Brilliant Cut and an Enchanter’s Tip]

>crafting material used in enchantment

Suddenly a bright notification accompanied by triumphant music completely derailed my train of thought.

“Ah crap, those loot boxes are going to get me killed one of these days,” I thought while the animation filled my awareness for what felt like forever.

! Milestone Reached: Animal Clothing unlocked !

I stared at the notification.

“I mean I could probably convince Carmen to wear something, but Midnight would kill me if I tried to put a sweater on him,” I thought as I opened up the new section in the crafting menu, “maybe there’s some stuff I can get for the Cat-kin?”

The new menu looked like I could equip clothes or maybe armor directly to some of my mobs without needing to deploy the item and then having to have one of my [cat-kin] put it on the mob, which I guess was convenient.

My attention wandered back over to the card table where Carmen was in the third round of Storm the Castle.

“Looks like the players might win tonight,” I mused as the final hand was dealt.

Alma and Hilda had started in on the slot machine as the first of Mr. Serendipity’s prophecies repeated itself in my mind.

“THE TWO JOKERS WILL HAVE THE DECK STACKED AGAINST THEM. WHILE A NOBLE IS BESIEGED, THE JOKERS WILL LIKEWISE BE BESIEGED. ON THE TURNING OF THE WHEEL, THE JOKER’S PATH WILL BE BARRED, BUT THEY SHALL ADVANCE. THE TWO JOKERS SHALL THEN BECOME THREE AND IN ORDER FOR LUCK TO REMAIN ON THEIR SIDE, LUCK MUST BE STOLEN FROM THEM”

“The noble being besieged part I get, but why would their path be barred? I’m not stopping them-” I thought before my train of thought got derailed by Alma’s slot machine hitting the jackpot.

A three bar jackpot.

“Oh shit,” I thought, “It’s happening. Let’s see ‘the two jokers shall become three’ what does that mean?”

I watched the two of them like a hawk for the rest of the night to see if anyone would come up to them.

Hours passed and Hilda managed to win a few more magical trinkets from the exchange chest, but nobody approached the wizards in disguise.

Finally, it came time to close and the patrons were ushered out the door.

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

“This can’t be it,” I thought as I jumped into the head of one of my [stray cats] and padded softly behind the two of them.

Hilda and Alma took a meandering path through several alleys before Hilda spoke up.

“I think we can drop the disguise now,” she said before making a motion like taking off a necklace.

The form of one of the dock worker shimmered to reveal Hilda holding a necklace.

The other dock worker repeated the motion and Alma took the necklace and put it in her bag that could be considered a small duffel bag or a very large purse.

“Do you think Mr. House is on to us, I felt like I was being watched more-” Alma said before being startled by a growling noise coming from the opposite side of the alleyway and dropping her bag in fright.

An emaciated dog stepped into the soft moon light and began to walk toward the two wizards.

“Hardly a third joker,” I thought as Hilda stepped forward.

“Shoo!” she exclaimed as she shot a small puff of fire between her and the mangy mut.

The dog quickly went from growling to scampering backwards and scampering off.

“Are you alright Alma?” asked Hilda as she put a reassuring hand on Alma’s shoulder.

“I don’t get it, that dog is the only thing that’s approached them all night. Who is the third joker,” I thought furiously before spying the open bag on the ground.

“Ha ha, very funny Mr. Serendipity,” I thought as I took the opportunity to jump into the open bag.

I didn’t know what to expect, but falling an additional three feet into the bag was not one of them.

“Honestly, I should have seen that coming. That’s on me for not expecting the enchanter wizard to have a bag of holding,” I muttered as I pulled my stray out of a heap of crumpled up academic notes that looked like they were covered in arcane equations.

“All right, let’s get out of here,” I heard Alma say before the bag was picked up.

A bright light surrounded us and a sensation not unlike the spacial warping of the casino and a feeling like moving in all of the directions at the same time started and stopped just as quickly.

“Ugh, no wonder more mages don’t teleport in combat,” I thought as I waited for the world to stop spinning.

Alma put down her bag and the two of them walked away, their conversation muffled by the canvas.

“I hope I got that hint right or else I’m going to have a very awkward time trying to explain to them why I snuck a cat into Hilda’s house or wizard tower or wherever this is,” I thought as I made myself comfortable among the discarded parchment.

“House?” asked Selina across the telepathic bond, “what are you doing? The messages sound weaker than usual.”

“Ah shit, I forgot to tell everyone what I was doing,” I thought before replying, “yeah I’m going to be busy for a while. I’ve got something going on.”

“Like what?” Selina asked with an incredibly confused tone.

“I’m in a stray at Hilda and Alma’s place. Divine prophecy stuff. Do you mind closing up tonight?” I answered.

“Okay…” Selina replied slowly, “yeah, I can close tonight. I’ll talk to you when you get back, I guess.”

“Thanks Selina, you’re the best. Talk to you later,” I said.

“Talk to you later,” Selina said as the bond went silent.

“And now we wait,” I thought to myself.

The sounds of a meal being prepared echoed from around the corner as Hilda and Alma seemed to be winding down for the night.

“I wonder how deep this bag goes?” I wondered as I pawed experimentally at the space below me.

About an hour went by as I passed the time rooting around in Alma’s bag.

The lights went out and I continued to wait until they had gone to sleep.

I discovered that the bag went down at least another foot as I passed a coin purse, a few snacks and what looked to be some teleportation crystals.

“I wonder if there’s some sort of inventory enchantment? I mean how else would she find anything in here,” I thought as I climbed up the inside of the bag using my [stray cat’s] claws, “now I just need to figure out how to steal luck from them.”

Looking around to take stock of my surroundings, I noticed that I was in a side room to a laboratory of some kind.

Well a laboratory if Dr. Frankenstein had decided to become a wizard instead of getting a medical degree.

Bits and baubles were littered around the room in a chaotic configuration.

My eyes landed on a strange fluid in a glass flask.

“Wait, is it moving,” I thought as the fluid shifted around until it had a face.

My stray’s fur stood on end as the face opened it’s mouth to scream.

Quickly, I ducked around a corner and waited.

After a moment of nothing, I poked my head back around the corner.

The face in the goop was stuck in a silent scream.

“What the hell…” I thought as I jumped on the table to get a better look at the thing.

! Scan used !

! Simple homunculus: Threat level assessment blue !

“Huh, I guess that answers that,” I thought before turning around.

From my new elevated vantage point, I noticed that all of the chaos seemed to revolve around the table in the middle of the room with a pointy crystal floating above the center.

“Wait, is that a diamond?” I asked as I took a better look at the table.

! Scan used !

! Enchanting table scanned !

! Enchanting table blueprint unlocked !

! Tier two enchanting table blueprint unlocked !

! Tier three enchanting table blueprint unlocked !

“Woah kickass,” I thought as the blueprints flooded into my brain, “I guess that’s why Mr. Serendipity told me to get a diamond.”

Regardless of my newly unlocked enchanting table, I still didn’t know how to steel luck from Hilda and Alma.

“Maybe if I start scanning some stuff, I’ll get an idea of what I’m supposed to steal,” I thought before getting to work scanning all of the things scattered around the lab.

***

Inquisitor Malcolm woke up in a sweat, mind reeling from what he had just witnessed.

He took a moment to let his heart rate slow down before getting dressed into his inquisitor uniform and armor with practiced efficiency.

“Brother Malcolm, what has you up so late, or so early depending on how you look at it?” asked a passing member of the clergy who was on night watch.

“We need to mobilize at once,” Inquisitor Malcolm replied, “The Judicator has sent me a divine revelation.”