“Honestly, we probably could have gotten away with three hundred for each,” I said as I watched a scrawny human and a gnome almost come to blows.

“THAT’S A PIECE OF GLASS YOU TWO BIT CHARLATAN!” shouted the gnome.

“CALL ME A CHARLATAN AGAIN YOU THIRD RATE ALCHEMIST!” retorted the human.

“If these two fools don’t shut up, I’m tossing them out,” said Midnight with an annoyed flick of his ear.

“HOW ABOUT WE LET THE WIZARD DECIDE WHICH ONE HE WANTS!” challenged the gnome.

“FINE!” shouted the human as the two of them slammed their respective chrystals on the table in front of Midnight.

“House?” prompted Midnight.

“Let’s see if either one has the real thing,” I said as I examined one of the chrystals.

[Enchanted Grey Glass]

>enchanted with a light spell to give off a soft internal glow

“Well the one on the left has junk,” I thought.

[Fine Mercurial Chrystal]

>imbued with the power for change bound in a crystalline structure

“Toss out the one on the left, he’s trying to scam us with glass, the one on the right has the real deal,” I said.

“Finally,” Midnight sighed as a telekinetic glow enveloped the human.

“Wait, WAIT!” The man screamed as he was unceremoniously tossed out onto the cobblestone outside.

After a moment’s hesitation, the gnome spoke up.

“Sooo does that mean you’re buying?” he asked.

Five hundred coins appeared on the counter and the chrystal was assimilated into my inventory.

The gnome quickly scooped up the coins and ran out the door.

“Shouldn’t have tried to scam a wizard, shit-for-brains!” The gnome shouted gleefully as he passed the human.

“Well that’s one down,” I said as I watched the victor run away with his spoils.

“I wonder how they knew each other,” Carmen asked, looking over from the Blind Hydra table.

“No clue,” I replied, “unless they can get the ruby, I would rather not see them again.”

“Agreed,” said Midnight.

Suddenly, I got a strong sense of danger from one of my [Stray Cats]

“Now what?” I moaned as I jumped into the perspective of my cat.

“Looks like someone didn’t learn their lesson,” I thought as a familiar dwarf marched down the street with a shiny new war ax and three dangerous looking people in tow.

I was surprised to see the orc named Haggar throwing in with Rex, but I guess it’s a small world when it comes to criminal activities.

“Did he always have those scars?” I thought to myself as the four of them made no attempt to hide themselves or their intentions.

I didn’t know the other two, but if fantasy tropes held up, then the human with burn scars and a red robe was likely a mage specializing in fire magic and the lady with green scales, snake eyes and a rapier was probably a swordswoman specializing in speed over strength.

! Welcome to the threat assessment tutorial !

I nearly screamed in frustration.

>Threats from invaders can be categorized onto a general scale of [blue] [green] [yellow] [orange] [red] and [black]

I began to panic as I realized that this notification had somehow locked me out of the rest of the menu.

>Threats are scaled from [blue] being harmless or non-hostile to [black] being almost certainly lethal

The four of them were getting closer as I desperately looked for a skip button or a way to speed things up.

>We will now analyze the delvers as an example

“Midnight! Carmen! We got trouble coming!” I shouted.

For some reason, the two of them were unable to hear me.

>Invaders scanned: threat level assessment [orange]

“Oh shit,” I swore as Rex reached the warehouse.

>Tip: you can assign mobs to patrol the inside of the dungeon or surrounding area to give yourself advance warning of threats and to scout out resources

>This concludes the threat assessment tutorial

“Fucking unskippable tutorial!” I shouted before activating the security gates around the patrons.

Gasps and murmurs were heard around the casino.

“Mr. House, what-” Carmen began as the dwarf flung open the door.

“You had your chance to play nice, wizard,” the dwarf spat, “nobody makes a fool out of me, ya dig?”

“Midnight, Carmen, get out of there!” I shouted as the pyromancer stepped forward and shot out a gout of flame.

Fortunately, the silvered iron gate took most of the bite out of the spell, giving my scions a smokescreen to teleport away.

“Oh he’s here again,” sneered Midnight from a rafter.

“You could have given us a warning, Mr. House,” chided Carmen.

“Yeah, sorry, I was stuck in a tutorial,” I apologized as I sent out the stalkers.

“I’ll have to ask later, is there anything else we need to know?” Midnight asked.

“This is probably going to be our most difficult fight yet,” I replied, “nothing fancy, just get them out of here without any of the customers getting hurt if you can help it.”

“Understood, Mr. House,” Carmen said as she teleported back down to the casino floor.

Midnight scrunched up his face as though he was concentrating.

“Midnight, are you okay?” I asked.

“They’ve done something to themselves, I can’t grab them or their weapons” he replied before he followed Carmen.

“Any ideas, House?” Midnight asked as the two groups stood off against each other.

“Shit,” I swore as I pulled up the crafting menu and got to work making something not quite as lethal as the buzzsaw that Midnight and Carmen could use as a weapon.

“Allright, you remember Rex and Haggar. Watch out for Rex’s red swing. Haggar is an anti-mage so don't rely on teleportation to dodge if you have his attention. The snake person has a rapier, so she’s probably a melee fighter and the one with the burn scars and the red robe is obviously a pyromancer,” I rambled.

“If you come out and beg, I might not have my friend burn this place to ash, you dig?” said the dwarf pointing to the human in the red robe.

“This is either a dumb idea or brilliant,” I mumbled as I finished the blueprint.

[Iron Core Discus]

>Wooden exterior and iron interior makes this a formidable thrown weapon

>Concave side increases aerodynamics

“Well, I was going for more of a Frisbee, but it’s basically the same thing,” I muttered somewhat frantically as I crafted several stacks of the [Iron Core Discus], “I made something that you can use as a weapon, but I can’t deploy it in the middle of the room while everyone’s here. Check under the Blind Hydra table when you get a chance.”

The tension in the room was palpable. I had been frantically managing things from behind the scenes, but on the outside it had been a silent standoff that wouldn’t have been out of place in a Spaghetti Western.

Fortunately for me, it had given me enough time to get the [Stalkers] into place.

“All right fuck this, let’s-” the dwarf started, before he was interupted by Haggar screaming as a [Stalker] bit down on to his wand arm.

Shocked gasps could be heard from the onlookers protected by the security gates.

Midnight took the chance to teleport under the Blind Hydra table and telekinetically grab the stack of discus.

“Take out the casters first, we can run circles around the other two,” I said.

“Got it,” replied Midnight as he flung out several of the discus.

The pyromancer took the bait and slammed his staff on the ground, creating a wall of fire to shield himself.

Wood burned away to reveal the iron puck inside the discus as it raced toward the pyromancer.

“Watch out!,” Rex cried as he lept in front of the pyromancer and deftly parried the iron pucks with his war ax.

“Hold still,” hissed the fencer as her sword glowed a sickly green before grazing the [Stalker] with her rapier.

! [Stalker] has received the [Poisoned] condition !

“Fuck!” I swore as the [Stalker’s] health dropped like a stone and hit zero.

! Regenerating [Stalker] respawn countdown: 15 minutes !

My mind reeled as I processed what I was seeing.

If the [Stalker] didn’t actually ‘die’ then that means that Carmen and Midnight might be ok if things took a turn for the worst. I didn’t want to test it, but if that was the case, then it means I could be more aggressive with my strategy.

As this was happening, Carmen grabbed a few of the discus that had missed the pyromancer’s wall of fire, but before she could throw them, Haggar swung his wand like he was striking something in front of him.

The glow around the discus sparked and disappeared before they dropped to the floor.

“Thanks Lilly, I just got that arm reattached,” Haggar panted.

“He can’t counterspell them once you throw them,” I said, “try to throw them instead of just swinging them around.”

“Got it, Mr. House,” Carmen replied before teleporting away.

“Like this?” Midnight chuckled as he spun up the remaining discus he had under the table before throwing them at Haggar.

The orc grunted as one of the discus bounced off something a few inches off his skin before rasing his wand in a defensive posture and casting a rounded force field.

“Interesting,” said Midnight before teleporting to another section of the casino.

“Damn cats!” growled the pyromancer as an explosion splintered the table that Midnight was just under.

“Shit, we’re going to need to split these assholes up with the gates,” I said.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“House, do you mind if I break the coin pushers?” Midnight asked.

“We can fix them, go ahead,” I sighed.

“On the count of three, drop the gates,” Midnight said.

“Ready,” I said.

Midnight closed his eyes and began to gather his mana.

“One, two, THREE!” he shouted.

I dropped the gates around the coin pushers as a wave of telekinetic force emanated from Midnight.

Shouts and screams from the patrons accompanied the sound of the coin pushers tumbling end over end across the room as a look of panic washed over the four delvers.

Haggar crouched low and created an angled force field.

Lilly wasn’t close enough to Haggar and had to dodge away in order to avoid the coin pushers.

Rex’s ax glowed red in a familiar way before jumping in front of the pyromancer and slamming his ax into an incoming cabinet.

Gold shot out everywhere in a way that would have been beautiful in a different situation.

“Two out of four isn’t bad,” I shrugged before activating the gates around Haggar and Lilly.

“What the hell?” swore the fencer.

“Hang on let me, GAH” Haggar yelped as magical sparks shot off of the silvered iron bars.

“Counter-counterspell asshole!” I exclaimed gleefully as the anti-magic gate disrupted Haggar’s spell.

Carmen teleported next to Midnight and quickly ushered him into the [Cat Spawner].

“You really overdid it this time, brother,” Carmen chided.

“I can still fight,” Midnight panted.

“Mr. House, can you give me a minute to tend to my fool of a brother?” Carmen asked.

“I’ve only got three [Stalkers] left, what’s wrong with Midnight?,” I asked as I sent the remaining mobs at the invaders.

“My foolish brother tried to move multiple very heavy things with magic that were designed not to be moved with magic,” Carmen said, ignoring Midnight, “he expended all of his mana and ended up hurting himself in the process.”

“What the hell, Midnight!” I exclaimed as I pulled up his stats and noticed that he was at half health.

“Well, you said you needed them separated,” he said sullenly.

“And now the pyromancer is going to undo your hard work and we’ll be back at square one as he cuts through both of the cages,” Carmen chided.

“Nevermind, what’s done is done,” I said before things could blow into a full argument, “recover what you can. I’ll distract the pyromancer with the [Stalkers].”

“I’ll stay here and share my mana with Midnight to speed things up,” Carmen said.

“Okay, I’ll try to buy you as much time as I can,” I said before turning my attention back to the fight.

“Red, you’re going to have to cut us out. The bars are silver and iron. Haggar can’t push them apart and I won’t be able to make a dent in them with my rapier,” the fencer said.

“Really, his name is Red…” I thought.

“Cut Haggar out first,” Rex ordered.

The pyromancer scowled, but moved over to Haggar.

“Hold them off. This is going to take a minute,” the pyromancer said as he summoned a jet of flame in his hand with a whooshing sound.

“COME AND GET IT!” the dwarf roared as he prepared to defend Red.

“We’re going guerrilla tactics, hit, move, and disappear,” I ordered to my mobs, “hit only when you have an opening and avoid the ax at all costs.”

One of the [Stalkers] appeared in front of Rex, ready to pounce.

“TAKE THI- *AGH*!” Rex yelled as he was attacked by a second [Stalker].

The first stalker took advantage of the opening and swiped at him before likewise disappearing.

“Takes you a while to wind up that big swing of yours, huh?” I mused as the stalkers continued to chip away at Rex.

“Are you *GAH* almost done cutting out Haggar?!” Rex exclaimed as he got clawed by another [Stalker].

“Almost, THERE,” Red exclaimed as the last bar fell away.

“Come on, Haggar,” Rex ordered, “we’re changing formation.”

“Wait, Lilly is still in a cage,” the pyromancer said.

“What’s the matter? Can’t handle a few cats?” Rex smirked before taking Haggar and heading to the loft.

“Thanks for making this easy,” I chuckled before lowering the gates around the stairs, “Tom, you’re up.”

Tom grinned and uncurled himself from around my core.

“Um, Rex doesn’t it seem like this is a bit too easy?” Haggar asked as they ascended the stairs.

“I saw this gold orb the last time I was here,” Rex said, “It’s probably his focus or a mana stone, you dig? We grab that and he loses.”

“Sure, Rex,” Haggar said as he watched the gate go up behind him.

Rex opened the door to once again come face to face with Tom.

“Hey cat, I brought friends this time,” said Rex with a wicked grin.

“Holy shit Rex, he's huge!” Haggar swore.

A deep yowling noise began building up in the back of Tom's throat as his hackles stood on end.

“You going to tell the Don you chickened out, Haggar?” Rex taunted.

“Ahhh fuck it!,” Haggar cried as magical barriers surrounded his fists like boxing gloves.

“That's more like it, man!” Rex shouted before charging at Tom.

Despite his size, Tom was still as nimble as a housecat and hopped out of the way of Rex's ax.

Haggar moved up, but Tom took a swipe at him before he could gain any more ground.

Sparks shot off of Haggar’s barrier gloves as he stumbled backwards, barely managing to block Tom’s blow.

Rex followed up with an upswing, but instead of dodging, Tom met the ax with a swipe of his own.

Both Tom and Rex were repelled by the resulting clash of steel and claws.

“What was that?” asked Carmen.

“Just three tanks duking it out,” I replied, “looks like this is going to be a battle of attrition between the three of them. How have the stalkers been holding up?”

“They've been slowing the pyro down, but he's making progress,” Carmen replied.

“His fire covers a wide area, so they've only been able to hit him when he's working on the gate,” Midnight replied.

“I’VE HAD IT WITH THESE THINGS!” Red shouted as red light coalesced at the tip of his staff.

Patrons began to scream in fright as the temperature slowly rose in the whole room.

“Red be careful!” the fencer shouted.

Fire swept across the room.

! Regenerating Stalker !

! Regenerating Stalker !

! Regenerating Stalker !

“Hey Midnight, you good to go?” I asked.

“I’ve never felt better, House,” he replied.

“Good, because you and Carmen are up,” I said.

“You’re lucky that cage was magic resistant,” the fencer hissed as she kicked the cherry red bars out of the way and gingerly stepped through the opening.

Red doubled over and began to cough up black soot.

“And it looks like that spell ate into your vitality,” she continued.

“You're *cough* more than welcome to get back into the cage,” wheezed the pyromancer as he uncorked a vial and downed it.

“Let's just get this job done,” the fencer said, looking at my approaching scions.

“Fortunately for us, the anti-mage is upstairs with Tom,” Midnight said with a grin.

“Care for a game of catch?” purred Carmen.

“Sounds like fun,” Midnight said before breaking into a run and picking up several of the scattered discus.

“And where have you two been?” growled Red.

“Waiting for a challenge,” taunted Carmen despite Red’s inability to hear her before teleporting to the other side of the room.

Midnight grinned and shotgunned several of the discus at the two of them.

“Shit!” swore the fencer as she grabbed the pyromancer and weaved the two of them between the discus.

Carmen grabbed the discus that had missed and began to replicate a two man juggling act with Midnight.

“It makes it really hard to cast when you’re tossing me around like this!” shouted the pyromancer.

“I can’t block like Rex can!” the fencer shouted back, “charge a spell and shoot it when I say when.”

“I’m going to kill Rex for taking Haggar!” yelled the pyromancer as his staff glowed red.

“Ready, now!” exclaimed the fencer as she pointed the pyromancer at Midnight.

Midnight teleported out of the way of the flames leaving several discus to sail past where he would have caught them and embed into the far wall.

“Again!” the fencer shouted as she pointed Red at Carmen.

Another gout of flame shot out of the pyromancer’s hand as Carmen similarly teleported away.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Midnight muttered from behind a broken coin pusher.

“Agreed,” panted Carmen, “do you have any ideas, Mr. House?”

I paused to think for a moment.

“Do you remember when we were testing materials for the cages?” I asked.

“Yes, why do you ask?” Carmen replied.

“Silver and iron dissipated magic, but gold was surprisingly easy to pick up,” I said, “if I can make you something out of gold, it’ll make for a better weapon.”

“No need House, we have all the gold we can use right here,” Midnight grinned as he looked at the coins scattered on the ground.

“I suppose you’ll be needing my help, lest you hurt yourself again,” Carmen purred.

“Let’s end this, sister,” Midnight growled as the two of them began to gather mana.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are…” Red chuckled before he downed a second potion.

“You’re going to get mana sickness if you keep drinking those so quickly,” Lilly said.

“Who are you, my teacher?” Red scowled.

“No, but if you make yourself useless while we’re on the job, I’m taking your cut,” she snapped.

“Wait do you feel that?” Red asked.

“Feel what?” Lilly asked as a low hum began to grow louder.

The patrons noticed it too as whispers swept through the crowd.

Red looked down just in time to notice the gold coins slowly start to hover off the floor.

“Oh shit,” he said with a quiver in his voice.

Coins began to leap at them with a high pitch whirring noise, picking up speed and volume as Lilly and Red did their best to dodge them.

“Where the hells are those *AUGH* cats?” the Lilly gasped as a gold coin pelted off of her like a hailstone.

“Fuck if I *AH* know!” shouted Red as a coin hit him similarly.

The number of coins continued to pick up in speed and intensity as Red and Lilly searched fruitlessly for my scions.

A second pulse echoed throughout the casino as the number of coins flying through the air doubled and then tripled.

It was as if the two of them were being swarmed by hundreds of golden insects, but just as quickly as it started, the coins stopped and hovered midair.

The pyromancer and the fencer both collapsed leaving the two of them groaning on the floor.

The pyromancer reached into a pocket and tried to uncork a potion before a coin zipped by and broke the bottle in his hand.

“Ah fuck!” the pyromancer swore.

“I’d stay down if I was you,” the fencer suggested, “this wizard hasn’t killed anyone yet, but I wouldn’t test him.”

“Damn you wizard,” the pyromancer swore again before accepting his defeat.

There was a moment of silence before the forms of Haggar and Rex were tossed down followed by a triumphant Tom as he jumped next to them with a great whumph noise.

Midnight and Carmen teleported on either side of Tom, forming an intimidating semicircle.

“Rex,” called Haggar in an exhausted tone.

“Yeah?” Rex groaned in pain.

“I think we lost,”

“Not while I draw brea- OW!” Rex began before being interrupted by a gold coin smacking him in between the eyes.

Carmen and Midnight’s eyes glowed as Rex noticed the coins hovering off of the floor.

“To hell with this, I’m not going through that again,” the fencer groaned as she picked herself up and limped toward the exit.

The three remaining quickly followed suit as they were spurned on by gold coins chasing their retreat.

“Keep the change, ya filthy animals,” I chuckled before dropping the security gates around the patrons.

! Delvers repelled !

! EXP gained !

! Mana gained !

! New skills gained !

There was a moment of tense silence as the patrons looked around at each other.

“Ah shit, there goes my customer base,” I thought before one of the younger people in the crowd let out a whoop and began clapping.

That seemed to break the tension as more and more people joined in and before long, I was getting a full standing ovation.

“Well, seems like we have some admirers,” Midnight beamed.

“We did just keep them from being caught in the middle of that scuffle,” Carmen added.

Tom stood there with his signature smug expression as he basked in the recognition.

Eventually the moment passed as everyone realized that there wasn’t going to be any gambling any time soon and began to file out, but not before a familiar gangly man made his way up to the trading post.

“Hmm, is this a bad time?” Roach called from the trading counter.

“Midnight, could you take care of this one last thing before we close up?” I asked.

“Of course, House,” Midnight replied before walking over and hopping up on to his place on the counter.

Roach cleared his throat, “well Spreen and I heard you were in the market for a flame ruby and it just so happened she had one lying around.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a box before setting it on the counter.

Midnight opened the box which contained a red gemstone that seemed to glow from the inside.

[Flame Imbued Ruby]

>ruby that has absorbed the essence of fire

>commonly used to finely control temperature in crafting applications

“It’s legit,” I confirmed before assimilating the ruby and producing five hundred gold coins.

! Quest complete: EXP gained !

“Well at least we’ll have a ton of resources to fix the place up,” I said.

“We’ll definitely need it,” agreed Midnight.

“Oh! Thank’ee,” Roach said as he scooped the coins into a bag, “I’ll, uh, let you get back to it. You look like you’re in the middle of something.”

“Say hi, to Spreen for me,” I said as Roach left even though he couldn’t hear me before shutting and locking the door.

“Whew,” I sighed, “give me a minute for my nerves to settle and I’ll get started on getting things cleaned up.”

“Take your time, Mr. House,” Carmen said as she found a clean patch of ground and laid down.

I spent a few minutes looking around at the rubble before my awareness landed on a war ax that had been embedded into the loft’s railing.

“Huh, looks like Rex dropped his ax,” I thought before getting to work breaking down the ruined coin pushers.