“So here's how it's ‘supposed’ to happen,” Mr. Serendipity began as what sounded like the sharp thunk of a quarter going into a slot echoed in the background.

“Wait, is this jackass actually using quarters? Is he at a payphone? Where are they still using payphones?” I wondered.

“You've set up a high stakes area for delvers. I believe you’ve been calling it the ‘high roller’ area. River is going to come back for the circlet and lose all of their money trying to get it back. You, being the big softie you are, give it back to them. River goes and gets their plucky self kidnapped by the gang that’s been harassing you,” Mr. Serendipity explained.

“How do you know all of this?” I asked.

“I wish I had the time to explain all of this to you, I really do, but right now I need you to listen,” Mr. Serendipity said firmly.

“All right, keep going,” I sighed.

“Good. This is very important, no matter how much they cry, no matter how much they plead with you, do NOT give them back the circlet. One of you dies if you do,” he explained firmly, “besides, it might do them some good to be told ‘no’ for once.”

“I don't see how that'll lead to a life or death choice,” I said.

“That’s the kicker, once they leave the casino, they stumble on a group of people who are working for the Skisfinks. If River has the circlet, they follow the Skisfinks until they get caught. Invisibility is great for sneaking around, but it's not foolproof. If they don't have the circlet, they don't go after the thugs. Simple as that. You can even give it back if you want the day after,” Mr. Serendipity explained.

“And why should I trust you?” I asked.

“How about a gift? The only thing you’ve made so far is the coin pusher. What if I told you I could help you unlock more than just that?” Mr. Serendipity asked.

“Okay, sure,” I shrugged, not really believing he could deliver.

“First thing may sound a bit crazy, but you’ll need to attempt to assimilate your own core,” said Mr. Serendipity.

“You’re right, that does sound crazy. Hey I heard this rumor for immortality, you just have to eat your own head,” I replied sarcastically.

There was a chuckle from the other line.

“The system will give you an error message, but it should have a special character at the end of the message. If you do anything else, it’ll go away and you’ll have missed your chance. Then you need to input the following: a feeling of authority, the smell of a fresh cut lawn, the concept of a second wind after staying up too late, a poker chip, the number seven, and the feeling of being startled awake,” Mr. Serendipity said.

“Sorry, except for the number seven, I don’t remember seeing any of those keys on a keyboard,” I said.

“Have you been using a keyboard?” he asked with a grin I could practically hear.

I didn’t want to admit it, but that did kind of make sense.

“Anyways, I’ve got to run. Mittens will have a dream in eleven days. Talk to you real soon,” Mr. Serendipity said before hanging up the phone.

I suddenly found myself out of the dream.

The experience was disorienting, but after a minute I discovered it was still the pre-dawn hours and quite a long time until we were open.

I sighed and shifted my awareness to my core.

“Am I really going to try this?” I asked myself as I stared at the golden orb that was planted on the large wooden desk in the middle of the room.

Everything had been gamified so far. Maybe this was something like an item duplication glitch. Hell, what Mr. Serendipity was describing basically sounded like a console command prompt.

I sighed and weighed my options.

If he was right, then either River or I would die.

If he was wrong or just fucking with me, then I might end up glitching the menu so bad that I could soft lock myself out of something or if this was a really shit system, I could end up disintegrating myself or somehow getting stuck in the same liminal space as my inventory.

I took a moment and made my choice.

“Here goes nothing,” I thought as I took a deep breath and tried to absorb myself.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

Black dust swept over my core.

! Error: invalid target~ !

Slowly, I unclenched my everything and examined the notification.

“Well I’ll be damned,” I thought as I noticed the tilde at the end of the notification.

“Okay what was it again? A feeling of authority, the smell of a fresh cut lawn, the concept of a second wind after staying up too late, a poker chip, the number seven, and the feeling of being startled awake,” I thought at the notification.

Nothing happened.

“Have you been using a keyboard?”

I focused and tried to recall the sensation that each of the ideas evoked.

“ A feeling of authority, the smell of a fresh cut lawn, the concept of a second wind after staying up too late, a poker chip, the number seven, and the feeling of being startled awake.”

“A feeling of authority, the smell of a fresh cut lawn, the concept of a second wind after staying up too late, a poker chip, the number seven, and the feeling of being startled awake.”

“[a feeling of authority], [the smell of a fresh cut lawn], [the concept of a second wind after staying up too late], [a poker chip], [the number seven], and [the feeling of being startled awake].”

! Password accepted: Advanced Casino Machine Suite unlocked !

I experienced a rush of information like someone had lifted up the top of my skull and shoved a textbook in my brain.

“OW! What the hell was that?” I exclaimed as I opened up the [Craft/Build] tab in the menu.

The sight I was met with was glorious.

Everything from slot machines to pachinko had been unlocked and neatly organized with the rest of the blueprints.

“Fuck yes. Let’s see if we can’t spice up the high roller’s area just a bit,” I cackled as I quietly replaced some of the more simple fixtures with something a little more impressive.

***

“Good morning House!” Selina exclaimed as she walked out of the [cat-kin] area with her brand new button up shirt and black vest combination.

“Morning Selina,” I replied.

“Are you ready for the big opening tonight?” she asked.

“I just hope everyone else is ready, because I just did something that’s going to blow everyone’s mind,” I said chuckling.

Selina stood there in silence for a moment.

“See, you just said that like someone who is dying to tell someone about what you did, but you want to be asked first,” Selina said.

“I- well, kinda…” I mumbled.

Selina sighed, “Okay Mr. House, what last last minute change did you make last night?”

“If I could direct everyone’s attention to the high roller room,” I said, picking up my momentum again.

“Is Mr. House always like this?” Selina whispered to Midnight, who had just woken up himself.

“You get used to House’s eccentricities,” Midnight replied.

“As I was saying!” I exclaimed interrupting the two of them, “if you’ll direct your attention to the high roller room.”

Selina rolled her eyes and walked with Midnight and Carmen to the aforementioned room.

“It's certainly going to impress the patrons,” Midnight remarked.

“Wow Mr. House, when did you make these?” Carmen asked.

“Yeah when DID you make these?” asked Selina as the three of them wandered in.

The high roller room had gone from a modest room with a roulette table, some modified coin pushers, and a card table to a much more modern (or perhaps futuristic depending on how you looked at it) setup.

The coin pushers had been replaced with slot machines that blared flashing lights and exciting noises.

The roulette table now had proper number placements and a properly balanced bearing that would spin evenly.

The card table was still pretty much a card table, but it had an air of professionalism about it that you would find in a proper casino.

“So what do you think?” I beamed.

“It certainly improved from what you had yesterday,” Midnight said.

“Mr. House, how did you manage to come up with these?” Carmen asked, her eyes going wide at the flashing lights coming from the slot machines.

Selina just stood there for a moment.

“House, how did you figure out how to make a slot machine?” she asked.

“Well I have plenty of time to think when everyone’s asleep, so I just tinker around with parts,” I lied.

“Right…” Selina replied before checking out the changes to the room.

“Honestly, it’s a lot simpler than it looks,” I said, taking notice of Selina’s hesitation, “I’ll show you how they work.”

***

If someone had been watching the warehouse from the outside and didn’t know about the building’s magical properties, it would have looked absurd.

If someone was watching the nondescript warehouse from the outside, they would have noticed a lot of people who had gone in and not a lot of people exiting.

If someone was also paying attention to the cats in the area, they would have also noticed that several of the strays were surprisingly healthy and would take special notice of the people in the neighborhood.

If that person also happened to be someone who had decided instead of making a career out of monster slaying and dungeon delving, then they would have noticed that the strays would pay special attention to them.

Someone, perhaps, like a very poorly disguised cadet looking to get back a very powerful circlet.

“Well that’s two points for Mr. Serendipity,” I said grimly as River approached my warehouse.