“I just want to check out the dungeon,” Duke said with a quickness to his step, “besides it’s on the way there.”

“Uh huh,” Jasper huffed, trying to keep up.

“I doubt anything has happened since the last time we were there,” Zee said.

As if on cue, a plume of smoke rose from the direction of the dungeon.

“Ah hell,” swore Zee as Duke began sprinting.

“Just had to jinx it,” said Jasper before taking off on his own.

Zee just groaned and followed suit.

As the dungeon came into view, the trio was met with the sight of the cat scions carrying two figures out of a smoking building.

“What the hell happened?” barked Duke as he came into vocal range.

The black cat gave a deadpan look as he telekinetically grabbed the orc’s fist and made a punching motion at his own head.

“Duke before you get your knickers in a twist, I know those two from my burgling days,” Jasper interrupted.

“He’s missing his arm!” exclaimed Duke, pointing at the fresh stump.

“Oh hells,” swore Zee as he covered his mouth.

The cat rolled his eyes and looked behind him before the dismembered arm came floating over and landing gently on the orc.

“Oh I think I’m going to be sick,” moaned Zee as he took several steps back.

“How do you know them?” asked Duke as he knelt down and put two fingers on the orc’s neck.

“They did a lot of breaking and entering when I knew them,” Jasper mentioned, “the orc is Haggar and the goblin goes by Sharp.”

“So they both probably instigated this fight?” Duke said as he started turning out the orc’s pocket.

“Yeah probably,” said Jasper as he watched Duke, “So why are you going through their pockets?”

“Seeing if they have any healing elixir,” Duke replied as he pulled out a clay vial with a red mark and metal bands on it.

He uncorked the stopper and poured the liquid on the wounded arm as well as the dismembered hand.

“Oh good thinking, but why aren’t you making him drink it?” asked Jasper.

“Old adventuring trick,” answered Duke, “you do this and you buy a few hours for the limb to get reattached.”

“Huh,” was all Jasper said as he started to turn a little green as well.

“Come on Zee, you grab Sharp, I’ll get this guy,” Duke said.

“O-okay,” Zee stuttered as he slowly made his way over to the goblin and scooped him up.

“Duke what are we doing?” Jasper asked.

“Change of plans, we’re taking them to a temple,” Duke said.

“The nearest temple is ages away,” Jasper groaned, “are we really carrying them both all the way there?”

“We’re not leaving them here,” Duke said with finality before taking off down the road with Zee not far behind.

“Ugh, this is what I get for throwing in my lot with an ex-paladin,” mumbled Jasper before following him.

***

“Well that didn’t go as bad as it could have,” Midnight commented as he and Carmen sauntered back inside.

“They’ll probably be back to give us an earful,” Carmen chuckled.

“So how did you enjoy our first fight Mr. House?” Carmen asked.

“We were so unprepared for that,” I muttered.

“House?” asked Midnight with a note of concern.

“We were so unprepared for that!” I shouted, “they just came in and started robbing us, you two jumped in and I just froze, Midnight cut off that guy’s arm, CARMEN ALMOST DIED!”

My voice caught in my throat as I realized that the usual milling about had stopped and all of my cats had frozen in place and were looking in the direction of my core.

“I’m s-sorry I shouldn’t have shouted,” stuttered.

“Mr. House…” Carmen began.

“House, let me ask you this: do you believe that they would have stopped at the coin pushers?” Midnight asked.

“H-huh?” I stuttered again.

“The two of them that broke in here, do you think they would have stopped at the coin pushers?” he repeated.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Exactly,” Midnight replied, “we don’t know.”

“Midnight don’t you think you're being hard on Mr. House?” Carmen chided.

“I'm being realistic,” Midnight replied, “what if those two found Mr. House’s core and decided to make off with it?”

I shuddered a little as I tried not to think about what would happen if my brain and body were separated like that.

“Don’t think we haven't noticed you muttering about the wizard either,” Midnight continued with all of the subtlety of a freight train, “you haven't made any progress on anti magic defense either.”

I flinched a bit at that.

“Midnight!” Carmen exclaimed.

“No he’s right,” I sighed, “I've been slipping back into some old habits.”

“So what now, Mr. House?” asked Carmen as I pulled up my menu where a new notification waited for me.

! EXP GAINED: new menu options available for upgrade !

“J-just need a minute to calm down,” I stuttered, “then I’m going to need both of your help.”

***

“Are we away from that place?” Sharp asked poking open an eye.

“AHH!” exclaimed Zee as he almost dropped the goblin.

“Oh good, you're awake, let’s walk and talk,” Duke said, still carrying the unconscious orc.

“Got my ass kicked by a cat, not much else to say,” Sharp said as he clambered off of a fidgeting Zee.

“How about starting from the beginning?” Duke suggested.

“Heard about this place from a friend of a friend,” Sharp began, “supposed to be some wizard set up shop in an abandoned warehouse in the district of the same name. Real reclusive like. Was supposed to pay a lot for scrap for some reason. Didn’t pay it much attention at first, but then rumor was that the place had glass cases full of gold and silver,” Sharp continued, “no guards, just cats, seemed like an easy mark.”

“So let me get this straight, you decided it was a good idea to rob a wizard?” Duke asked.

“Well that's why I brought along Haggar,” Sharp explained.

“Forgive me for saying this, but if your friend was a half competent wizard he could have told you that fighting another wizard in their home is foolish,” Zee interrupted.

“Believe it or not he’s a half decent mage and pretty good at counter spells and removing magic traps,” Sharp said.

“How so?” asked Zee.

“I believe he described it as instead of finding the weak point in the other mage’s weave, tearing the whole thing down and beating the other mage to a pulp when we’re both out of mana. Seen him do it a few times too,” Sharp explained.

“That's…” Zee began, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Pretty good, right?” Sharp finished.

“Sharp, could you please finish your story?” Duke interrupted before Zee could go off on a tangent.

“Right, well security was as lax as I thought. We were able to march right in and start taking the gold without much of a problem before the white cat used some sort of spell to launch me into the wall,” Sharp continued.

“I was in and out for a bit before a huge fuckall explosion happened and I decided to play dead. The cat dropped me off outside and that's where you came in,” he finished.

“Told you, Duke,” Jasper said.

“Jasper, that you?” Sharp asked, “how the hell you been?”

“Pretty good. Found a new source of income,” Jasper replied, “turns out people are pretty amicable when you don't go around robbing them.”

“I seem to remember you doing your fair share of fuckin stealing,” Sharp said.

“I burgled, not robbed, there's a difference,” Jasper explained.

“Stow it you two,” Duke interrupted, “I’m not carrying this guy and listen to you two bicker.”

“Actually been meaning to tell you, I know a doc closer than the temple we can go to,” Sharp said, “unless you want to get stopped by the guard for carrying an unconscious and recently dismembered orc around.”

Duke stopped for a minute and considered his options between labored breaths.

“As much as I hate to admit it, I'm not in adventuring shape anymore,” Duke said, “lead the way.”

***

“Have you calmed down, Mr. House?” asked Carmen.

Tom continued his thunderous purring as I did my best to visualize a breathing exercise. It did a good job of calming me down when I had a body and currently my mind was willing to fake it.

“Yeah, thanks everyone, I’m better now,” I said as Tom curled up tight around me.

“You said you had some ideas and you needed our help?” Midnight began.

“Let me check something real quick,” I said as I opened up the menu.

! Upgrades available !

>Expanded Menu Details

>Enhanced Crafting Menu

>Enhanced Status Submenu

“Son of a bitch. Well that explains why the menu was pretty bare bones,” I thought as I scrolled through the options.

I was a dungeon. Dungeons are supposed to hold loot and monsters as well as fend off invaders. If I had to guess, the menu was probably in tutorial mode and the more that I acted like a dungeon, the more options would become available to me.

Right now I had enough EXP to buy two out of the three options. The enhanced crafting menu was a given, but I was having trouble deciding between seeing more stuff in the menu options or seeing more stats for my scions.

“Well maybe enhancing the menu might show me an alternative way to gain EXP so maybe I should try that,” I thought selecting the “Expanded Menu Details” and “Enhanced Crafting Menu”

The menu briefly glowed with gold light before a new tab had been added.

“Rewards progress?” I thought to myself before opening the tab.

! Below are the rewards in progress. Gain Forma to unlock random rewards !

>Repel invaders 2/10 (10 Forma)

>Upgrade common mob to level 5 2/5 (20 Forma)

>Upgrade Scion to level 5 2/5 (30 Forma)

>Buy 1 advancement/s (40 Forma)

>Buy 3 advancement/s (90 Forma)

>Buy 5 advancement/s (100 Forma)

There was no option to refund EXP.

“FFFFFFF-” I almost swore.

“Mr. House?” Carmen asked with a concerned tone.

“I’m okay,” I lied as I tried to hold back the stream of expletives that were sure to follow if I let one slip.

“Ok, ok, think of the positives,” I thought trying to calm myself down, “at least we know what controls the loot boxes now, and I can potentially cheese this if I figure out what the hell Forma is supposed to be.”

I opened up the crafting menu to try and distract from the irritation I felt.

! Trap crafting now available. Construct traps to hinder or kill invaders !

“Hmm,” I thought, “some of this could be useful.”