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The First Flame
82. I Could Have Stayed Down

82. I Could Have Stayed Down

Eir followed the strange duo through the streets, the two of them talking with smiles on their faces. The valkyrie couldn’t help but rub her bandaged arm and feel out of place between the two. She was feeling better, but she couldn’t help but feel like she didn’t belong. The idea that they would help her seemed unreal after what she had done. Arylos even offered to carry her old armour as they walked, effortlessly hoisting it over his shoulder.

Eir could not inject herself into their conversation, things about the neighbours, Sentarus, Arylos’s work; Eir could not understand how they could just move on so easily. It’s almost like nothing happened and that made her feel like even more of an outsider.

“What do you think, Eir?” Iris’s cheery voice cut Eir’s train of thought.

“H-Huh? What was that?” Eir responded while shaking herself aware.

“Arylos made some kaikatsu before we came to get you,” Iris explained with a laugh. “I haven’t had any in a while so what do you think we have that for dinner tonight?”

“I-I don’t know what that is,” Eir admitted, trying to mask her embarrassment.

“It’s fried pork cutlet,” Arylos explained, turning towards the path that led to the walkway to the house. “I think I have some ideas for sides finally and I’ll have to reheat the oil so it may take some time. Just enough time for you to bathe.”

“I can do that?” Eir exclaimed, not able to believe the suggestion.

“Of course!” Iris jumped in while Arylos opened the door. “I think you need a nice hot bath first to get the essence of barn animals off of you.”

“I would like that very much,” Eir admitted once more, hiding a smile.

“Then come upstairs!” Iris cut in while gesturing Eir into the foyer as Arylos made his way to the living room and put Eir’s armour on the sofa. Eir felt conflicted as she followed the human up the staircase; a conflict she couldn’t just hide no matter what she did.

“This is all a trick, right?” Eir asked softly as Iris reached the top of the stairs and moved towards the bathroom. “You’re going to lure me up here and away from Arylos and kill me, aren’t you?”

“Why would I do anything like that?” Iris asked in confusion as she opened the bathroom door.

“You said you could never forgive me,” Eir suggested.

“And I said that doesn’t mean I can blindly hate you,” Iris responded in a stern voice. “I know it wasn’t your fault and I know what you’ve gone through in the year since then, but I didn’t go through it myself.”

“And now you’re inviting me into your home to help me?” Eir asked, trying to talk herself out of the irregular situation.

Iris let out a sigh as she thought about the situation. “Do you want to know a secret? A secret no one else knows?”

“What could that be?” Eir asked.

“I won’t tell you everything because Arylos told me in confidence, but you should know some of it,” Iris explained while crossing her arms and leaning against the door. “What do you know of the Dragon Wars?”

“Only a little; I was young when the war started but I was told about it by my mother,” Eir explained.

“Arylos caused it,” Iris explained.

“Arylos? How did that happen?” Eir returned with confusion.

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“It’s a long story but he effectively tried to stop the war and that ended up causing it,” Iris told the valkyrie while taking a deep breath. “He caused it and when it started, he left us to die, not caring until he decided to change it all and fight. I was so mad when he told me and I don’t think I ever forgave him.”

“But you’re so happy around him,” Eir commented.

“That’s for a different reason,” Iris scoffed. “But to think that would happen confused me; why would I feel like this towards him when he was responsible for the greatest turmoil of my people. Do you know what I realised?”

“That you forgave him at last?” Eir asked while rubbing her chin.

“No,” Iris scoffed with a smile before getting lost in her thoughts again. “It’s the fact that he tried to stop it to begin with. I was so caught up in the fact that he left us to our fate that I didn’t realise that he was trying to stop it all to begin with.”

“And then went and tried to fix what he caused,” Eir summarised aloud as she began to realise what Iris was getting at.

“It would have been a lot easier had he not cared to begin with,” Iris continued while pushing herself away from the wall. “He’s a Titan; he wanted to help and it ended up hurting us. His inaction was just that; he knew he made things worse and didn’t know how to change it.”

“And so he came here to see to an end to it,” Eir finished.

“Exactly,” Iris returned with a soft voice. “So while I can’t forgive him, I can see his side of it. Just like you; I won’t be able to forgive you, but I know you were manipulated and you suffered for that. I can at least acknowledge that for now.”

Eir rubbed her arms together, trying her best to understand the human’s motives. She felt confused and conflicted while trying to understand why this mortal was helping her. She felt glad that Iris could at least acknowledge what happened but her not lashing out and wanting to kill her was not normal.

“This is wrong,” Eir sighed. “You should be furious at me, not wanting to rest until you have my head. You should be ready to kill me at a moment’s notice.”

Iris thought about Eir’s response for a minute before slowly chuckling under her breath. Eir watched in ever growing confusion as Iris’s laughter slowly rose until she was practically belly laughing and wiping away tears.

“What’s so funny?” the confused valkyrie asked, starting to become afraid of the mortal.

Iris slowly regained her composure, snorting as she choked on laughter. “I once thought the same thing about Arylos,” she squeaked out.

“What do you mean?” Eir asked.

Iris took a deep breath to centre herself. “A while ago, we had this big stupid fight and I ended up hitting him twice. Afterwards, I told him that I was angry and ashamed at myself and yet he played it off like it was nothing. I told him the same thing; that he should have been furious at me, hate me, and not want to be around me. Even if I wasn’t the first to hit him, I didn’t want to be included in those who had.”

“And he wasn’t mad?” Eir asked in confusion while rubbing her chin. “I wouldn’t expect him to be furious I guess if you two are friends, but he wouldn’t have been happy either.”

Iris chuckled and placed her fingers on her lips while hiding a smile. “That’s what I thought, but I can sort of see it from his side now. There are a lot of things in that Titan’s head that confuse me, but I’ll get it one day.”

“I hope you do,” Eir laughed as she made her way towards the bathroom.

“I have robes in there you can use,” Iris jumped in, snapping herself out of her train of thought. “I can also get some clothes, but you’re bigger than me so I don’t know if they’ll fit.”

“Thank you Iris, really,” Eir responded with a smile, feeling her spirits be lifted as she lit a series of candles while Iris closed the door. Eir took it all in and was still confused by Iris and Arylos; something about those two was off in a way she couldn’t understand.

Eir turned around to the tub and turned on the faucet as the tub filled with steaming hot water. She slowly undressed, feeling relieved from the filthy dress as she turned towards the shower and ran the water. The hot water stung on her skin like needles that summoned a gasp from the valkyrie. Her muscles tensed briefly before relaxing and Eir wondered if her legs could still support her weight. She lifted her hair and enjoyed the sensation of the water, feeling the heat clear her nostrils and weeks worth of filth come off her skin.

She felt a sting of pain on her forearm and saw that the water soaked through the cloth bandage Arylos put on her arm. Eir felt sadness come to her as she remembered that she was mortal now and this wound she gave herself would be a reminder of that. And yet, Eir didn’t lose herself in her grief. Instead, she found strength that she didn’t know she had.

The fallen valkyrie cracked a smile as she grabbed some soap and lathered it in her hair and on her neck. She needed to find a way to live on this foreign world she was trapped on, this hell that she could never leave. If someone like Arylos could do it and coexist with a human, she could do it too.