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The First Flame
171. Am I Alive?

171. Am I Alive?

A crowd gathered around a bulletin board set up in the middle of the refugee camp in the mountain cavern as hushed whispers filled the air as the onlookers read the large parchment sheet that had been written over many times. Each new entry on the board brought equal parts of hope and dread amongst those who dared to read the text sprawled in black ink on the tan paper. Many read the calligraphic names and burst into relieved sighs as others broke down in tears. At the foot of the board, a young scribe added lines of text to the ever growing list on the board, carefully painting the names with a rough brush that spared no expense to writing finesse.

Amongst the crowd, a young woman came forward, pushing through the crowd as she tried to get closer to the board. She looked up at the board and struggled to read the Kaiyumian characters at the top of the parchment; the formal tone and number of strokes in each character boggled her mind, reminding her that she could barely comprehend the language normally.

List of Accounted Survivors in the Western Camp

The woman glanced across the board with her green eyes as she ran down the list of names. The lack of order threw her off as she desperately looked for the names that only she could recognize. She found one of the names she was looking for near the top.

Ausonia Bellona.

Good, she made it, the woman told herself as she relaxed herself. She continued down the board and looked through the various names again. She eventually found another name that calmed her down more.

Nashonaru Iris.

The woman let out a sigh of relief as she looked down at the ground, hiding her smile from herself. She felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders that she had been carrying for just over a month. She looked back up to Iris’s name and continued down, looking for one more name. Yet the happiness she felt slowly faded away as more names went by and she didn’t recognize them. Column after column yet one name was missing. She found herself on the column the scribe was adding as her heart began to sink. She watched as the scribe added the last name and walked away from the board, collecting his brushes and ink, leaving this one particular name was absent.

The woman let out a sigh as she lowered her head, covering her face with the hood of her cloak as she hid her tears from herself. She wondered how he could be missing; nothing could kill him, so why was he not accounted for? She grabbed her silver hair from under her hood and tried to use the pain of pulling her hair to restrain her tears. There had to have been a reason, maybe he’s unconscious, maybe he asked them not to count him, maybe he’s in the eastern camp somewhere instead, something.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder that shook her out of her trance. She looked around and found herself looking into a woman’s warm and brown eyes that she found all too familiar. “There you are, Eir; I’ve been looking for you,” the woman said in a soft voice with a gentle smile.

Eir’s tears suddenly broke through the dam as Iris’s face was a welcome sight. Without a word, she hugged Iris tight, startling Iris with an audible gasp. Iris couldn’t help but chuckle and return Eir’s embrace, exchanging silent words in their embrace alone. Iris then took Eir by her hand and led her away from the crowd to let the distraught Templarian have some space.

“I thought something happened to you,” Eir whispered while rubbing her face.

“You took my line,” Iris said with a soft laugh while rubbing Eir’s back. “I was afraid that you got caught up in the fighting.”

Eir collected herself and looked back up at Iris, slowly letting laughter come to her. “I’m fine, I promise,” she said while rubbing her eyes one last time before looking around instinctively before suddenly shaking her head. No, it’s best not to ask her, she told herself as she looked back towards Iris. “Where’s Bellona? Did she not come with you?”

“We split up so that we could find you when we got here,” Iris said while letting go of Eir.

Iris nodded as she looked down and caught a glimpse of a dark black ring on Iris’s hand that glistened in the dark cavern lighting. “Where did that come from?” she asked while pointing at the ring.

Iris looked down and a hint of color came to her cheeks as she lifted her hand for Eir to see. “Oh, this was a marriage gift from Arylos.”

“M-MA-MARRIAGE?! WHY AM I JUST NOW FINDING OUT?!” Eir suddenly blurted out with a slack jaw as her face went bright red.

Iris chuckled nervously as Eir grabbed her hand and carefully inspected the black ceramic ring. “Because it wasn’t that long ago; even Bellona doesn’t know, or at least she never noticed.”

“Still! What about the big wedding ceremony? Gifts! Parties! Cakes! Steamy honeymoon! And more importantly, why was I not a bridesmaid?!” Eir continued on while admiring Iris’s ring with the newfound jealousy of a single girl.

Iris’s soft laughter faded as her face turned sour. “It wouldn’t be right for any of that,” she said with a soft sadness to her voice.

“I’m sorry,” Eir said softly as she let go of Iris’s hand. “I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for you, but I hope it will get better.”

“Thank you, but I’ll be fine,” Iris said with a nervous laugh.

Eir rubbed her arms together, squirming under the awkwardness of the exchange. “Did…was he in pain?”

“Hm?” Iris voiced in confusion, not quite understanding Eir’s question.

Eir nervously cleared her throat, not sure how to approach the subject, or if she should. “After the fighting, was he…you know, did he suffer?”

Iris let out a sigh as she approached a wall and leaned against it. “Yeah, he played it off, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like that. He really was falling apart before my eyes; the man I loved falling apart and showing the wounded animal inside, and then he was just…gone. It opened old wounds for me that never healed properly.”

Eir sighed and joined Iris against the wall, keeping her head low. “I’m really sorry,” she whispered softly.

“Don’t be; it wasn’t your fault,” Iris said while looking up at the cavern ceiling. “Sure, Nageki’s wounds may never heal, but I know that you were manipulated and it sounds like there’s a lot of that going around. I can’t fault you for that.”

“But that’s still a lot of pain to go through,” Eir said nervously as her tears welled up again.

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“It was, but it was a pain both of us had to encounter at one point,” Iris said as a smile came back to her. “Years ago, he said that he would die for me because there were things more important than me. That should have been my big indicator that he loves me but now I think I understand. He’s lived far too long so if death comes to him, it’s only natural that it would come at some point. To him, he can cope with that pain so long as he can spare me that pain.”

“He really did love you deeply,” Eir said while hiding her shame from Iris.

“Why do you talk about that like I stopped?” a man’s growling voice cut in that startled Eir. As Eir looked up, she locked eyes with a tall man with burning red eyes carrying a staff and blackened scars and cracks along his arms and torso.

“A-...Arylos?” Eir asked nervously as she thought her eyes were deceiving her.

Arylos cracked a big smile as he laughed deep in his chest. “Did you really think that death would actually stop me?”

“I think that’s what death does, sweetie,” Iris said as she approached Arylos and wrapped her arms around his. Arylos turned towards Iris and lowered his head, rubbing his cheek against Iris’s with a deep growl resonating in his chest as the two nuzzled against each other.

“B-But, you weren’t on the list,” Eir said nervously while pointing towards the bulletin board.

Arylos laughed as he pulled away from Iris and looked back towards Eir, ignoring the board she was pointing at. “When I woke up and after we handled the business of figuring out what happened, I asked Anoron not to include me on his little census.”

“There are only three people that need to know that he’s still alive,” Iris explained, picking up after Arylos. “No one else needs to know so this should hopefully give the Eikons the impression that they killed him. It might buy us some time until we figure out what to do.”

“You make it sound like we’re at war,” Eir said nervously as she watched the otherworldly couple.

“For all I know, we still are,” Arylos said with a stern voice. “The Eikons won’t stop until I am dead or they kill everyone. T0.0his time they got really close and killed the wrong people. If laying low for now will protect other people, then I have no complaints. If they believe I’m dead, even better; then they won’t come back here to finish the job.”

“It’s also the other reason why almost no one knows that we’re married,” Iris continued after Arylos. “That’s why I still have the name ‘Nashonaru’ for now. It would look very weird if I was his girlfriend before the battle but then suddenly his wife afterwards.”

“...Even though you two married each other after the battle,” Eir said in a sarcastic voice.

“Well only us girls know that,” Iris said with a sly smile as she put her finger to her lips.

“HEYOOOOOOO!” A familiar woman’s voice called out to the small group as she ran towards them with a waving hand. As she approached, Eir began to recognize the stocky black-haired Templarian.

“Ah, looks like she found us faster than I expected,” Arylos said with a laugh, recognizing Bellona from her voice alone as he turned around to face her.

Bellona laughed as she approached, giving Arylos a sly slap on the back of his shoulder that warranted a groan from the injured Titan. “Oh come on, anyone would recognize you a mile away. There aren’t many big and tall men with tattoos running around.”

“Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?” Arylos asked as he moved his staff to his left hand.

“I think she actually meant for you to take that as a backhanded compliment, dear,” Iris said with a soft laugh.

“Bene~!” Bellona said with a snap of her fingers and a wink. She then turned her attention towards Eir and wrapped her arm around the young valkyrie’s shoulders with a laugh. “What do you think? Aren’t the big Titan and the little girl cute together?” she said while squeezing Eir tight.

Eir let out a nervous chuckle as she struggled to breath against the Templarian’s tight grip. “Seriously?” she squeaked out with the venomous tongue of sarcasm. “First time you’ve seen me since shit hit the fan and you use me to poke fun at Arylos and Iris?”

“Oh come on, like you haven’t missed us teasing them from the sidelines,” Bellona said as her beaming confidence began to fade.

Eir sighed and rolled her eyes as she tried to break free from Bellona as she began to grumble under her breath. “Yeah sure, missed you too Bellona. Oh me? I’ve been doing just fine, thanks for asking. Just haven’t been terrified that the three of you died for the past month, but thanks for checking in on me to make sure I’m okay.”

“Oh now you’re just milking it,” Bellona said as she let Eir go and resorted to poking the valkyrie’s cheek.

“To be fair, Eir and I had a little heart to heart before everyone got here,” Iris said with a chuckle that hid a snarl of irritation. “You know, we talked like normal people unlike a couple of gossiping girls.”

“Hey! Don’t make it sound like I’m heartless!” Bellona barked in embarrassment.

“She’s not saying that,” Arylos said with a laugh as he could finally get a word in. “She’s just saying that compared to an attention seeking and controlling little girl with an obsession for material goods who isn’t afraid to speak her snarky mind, you could be a little more caring.”

Iris smiled innocently as she slowly reached for Arylos’s ear and tugged hard on his ear lobe, making the otherwise stoic Titan yelp in pain. “I’ll remember that, darling,” she said between clenched teeth.

Bellona and Eir laughed as Arylos pulled himself free from Iris’s cold iron grip, rubbing his ear in pain and muttering under his breath in languages Iris couldn’t understand. As the laughter died down, Arylos slowly cracked a smile as he looked between Iris, Bellona, and Eir. He felt a touch of happiness come to him as he felt a little more complete than he was yesterday. “You know, it feels like a family reunion,” he said softly in a shy voice as he once again counted each of the women. “Like we got the gang back together, if that makes any sense.”

The three half-Templarians looked at Arylos with concern from his sudden moment of weakness. Iris then gingerly rested her hand on Arylos’s shoulder as she came closer to him. “Are you having an emotion?” she asked in a sly and sarcastic voice.

Eir snickered under her breath at the question as Arylos looked back at Iris with his usual stoic face. Yet Iris started to smile as she saw underneath the emotionless mask. “Yes, that bit right there; he’s having an emotion,” she said cheerily while pointing at his cheek like she was pointing something out that was obvious.

Arylos looked back towards Eir and Bellona as they began to laugh as he began to stammer, trying to keep his own laughter under control. “It just feels better this way; like I have my family back.”

“Awe, look at him, he’s so cute when he actually has emotions!” Iris cooed while tugging on Arylos’s cheek causing the Titan to growl and roll his eyes.

“This is all too cute for me; the little girl and her monster, just too precious,” Bellona said while choking on her laughter as Eir wheezed, gasping for air as her chest caved in from laughter. As Bellona calmed herself down, she locked eyes with a dark black ring on Iris’s left hand that she felt was out of place. As she examined the ring, she saw a silver ring on Arylos’s matching hand and the startling realization hit the Templarian soldier harder than a warhammer to the head.

“BACK THE HELL UP! WHEN THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!” Bellona shouted while pointing at the duo’s rings.

Arylos and Iris looked down at their contrasting yet matching rings for a moment before looking back up at Bellona with confusion in their eyes. “You’re just now seeing that?” they both asked in unison.

“Even I noticed before you did, and I just met them today,” Eir said while narrowing her eyebrows in disbelief at Bellona.

“But why am I just now finding out?!” Bellona called out as her cheeks went red.

“Oh boy here we go again,” Iris said while rolling her eyes. “We exchanged rings a month ago; if you didn’t catch on, then it’s not our fault.”

“Still! What about the big wedding ceremony?!” Bellona echoed Eir’s words as she frantically examined Iris’s ring and compared it to Arylos’s. “I need to get you gifts, not to mention we need a party! And a big fucking cake!”

“I swear, I’ve been through this before,” Iris said with a sigh while looking back up at Arylos who was laughing under his breath.

“I wasn’t a bridesmaid,” Eir said while crossing her arms, feeling more open to complaining about the private wedding.

Arylos and Iris chuckled nervously as Bellona continued to rant. As they drowned out her voice, the two looked at each other and shared their laughter; it seems as though ‘family reunion’ were the right words.