As the sun began to set and traffic through the city began to ease, Iris directed herself to head back home. She had a lot to consider as the day ended and the thing she needed right now was some time to think. Seeing Eir again stirred her heart and sent her mind swimming, but she did not know how to approach all of this. She knew she should have been furious at the valkyrie but just couldn’t bring herself to do it, finding herself sympathising instead.

Am I getting too soft? she questioned herself while rubbing her arms. She didn’t know what the right move was, if there even was a right move. She couldn’t help but feel Eir’s despair; the sensation of feeling lost, aimless felt not too far away from the edges of Iris’s mind.

What would Arylos do? Arylos always pushed forward, even if it was to nowhere. To him, there was always a forward to march towards, even if there was no road. That’s what kept her grounded. The thought helped her process her place in the world but it confused her.

She knew Arylos had to have known what he did. He must have known Eir would survive. And she had to know why.

Before the sun could fully set, she found herself back on the front porch and opening the door as she was assaulted with a thick aroma. The smell of something hearty, savoury, being prepared and the sound of oil bubbling. She cracked a smile; Arylos must have read her note.

“I’m back,” she called out as she closed the door behind her and began unstrapping her sword from her back.

“Welcome back!” Arylos called back from the kitchen.

“Whatever you’re making, it smells good,” Iris returned while taking off her boots and walking into the living room. “What are you making?”

“One of the neighbours gave me a recipe that fit your cravings,” Arylos responded while entering the dining room with a few plates in hand. “It’s called ‘kaikatsu’; a pan fried pork cutlet. I’m still deciding on side dishes and the like so it’s all an experiment.”

Iris rubbed her chin as she thought for a moment. “Well, since it’s fried pork, maybe something light like a salad?”

“I was considering that for a bit,” Arylos responded with a smile. “It will still be some time before it’s ready, especially so I can cut the spring cabbage.”

Iris nodded as she sat down at the table and watched the Titan set a few plates down. She wanted to ask but she didn’t want to ruin his mood. But she just needed to know.

“Why did you let Eir live?” she asked softly.

Arylos froze in place for a moment as he considered the question. He couldn’t help but to let out a light sigh as he gave up and took a seat. “So she came here, did she?”

“So you knew she survived?” Iris cut in with a bit of shock, a part of her hoping he didn’t know.

Arylos slowly nodded. “I meant for her to remain alive. Believe it or not, I only kill when necessary and she doesn't deserve death; not in my eyes at least.”

“Because you knew she was just following orders,” Iris summarised.

Arylos nodded once more. “Once she told me that Odin sent her, I wondered if she was a pawn in his schemes and couldn’t be entirely at fault. Her fear when she realised what I was told me as much. Odin only tells you what he deems is important and obviously he didn’t think that was necessary.”

“That or telling her meant that she wouldn’t go through with the order,” Iris cut in as she started to put the pieces together in her mind, relating to what Bellona told her about her and Arylos’s fight on Onaria. “So effectively you did the same thing as Bellona; stripped her of divinity to keep her out of the way of someone else’s schemes.”

“Exactly,” Arylos answered while getting back up. “I know you disagree, but–”

“No, I agree,” Iris cut in suddenly to Arylos’s shock. “I know I should hate her, but she was lied to but things have been rough for her since then. At the time, I would have wanted you to kill her. Now, I’m not so sure.”

“You’ve already met and spoken with her?” Arylos asked with a tilt of his head.

Iris nodded and interlaced her fingers. “I did. She told me how difficult this past year has been for her.” She let out a soft laugh as the thought came to her. “I really wanted to kill her, Arylos. I was this close. But, I just couldn’t. I was the Templarian about to kill a mortal and that didn’t sit right with me.”

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“You’re mortal, Iris,” Arylos corrected.

“You said it yourself; I’m part Templarian,” Iris corrected the Titan. “No matter how mortal I am, I still have Templarian blood in me and that gives me power. I have to come to terms with that and a part of that is understanding how to use that power. Using it to kill a defenceless mortal who wasn’t even at fault for what happened is not wise; it would make me no better than her or even Odin.”

Arylos thought about her response before letting out a smile. He came over and gave Iris a hug. “Maybe that makes you the best kind of Templarian,” he told her in a soft voice.

“What do you mean?” she asked as she pressed up against him.

“It makes you different,” Arylos laughed while letting her go and kneeling down to look at her. “Many with power seek to abuse it, and yet you’re still mindful about it. I’ve seen a great many people grow obsessed with even a hint of power; a fraction of what even Templarians possess now. And yet you have a similar strength and your first thought is ‘how do I hold myself accountable? Is this right?’ That makes you better than half of the other ‘wise god kings’ I’ve encountered in my many years.”

“So I’m wise?” Iris asked in a half-mocking tone.

Arylos shook his head quickly. “No. You are compassionate. That’s something that means a hell of a lot more than pure wisdom.”

Iris couldn’t help but swim in confusion. “And what makes you say that? I thought old wise men were a classic sign of perfection.”

Iris watched as Arylos’s face relaxed into a look of sadness, of sorrow. It looked to Iris as though his heart was broken with the thoughts running through his head. “Because us old wise men cannot have compassion; we lose it in our old age as the years drag on. The compassion you have is irreplaceable and many lose it.”

“But you are compassionate,” Iris returned in a soft voice, hoping to ease some of Arylos’s pain. “If you weren’t, you wouldn’t waste your time with me. If you didn’t have compassion when Nageki was burned down, you would have probably told me to get lost and say that people die anyway so who really cares.”

Arylos shook his head and rested his hands on Iris’s shoulders. “That’s the problem; that is exactly what I would do. I’ve lived too long and seen too much to have such compassion that mortals like you have. If you embrace your nature as a Templarian, you cannot let yourself lose that compassion.”

Arylos’s grip tightened on Iris’s shoulders and she could see his expression go softer and his eyes sorrowful. “And you must be better than me. Do you understand?” he whispered softly as his voice cracked, like he was holding something back.

Iris was taken aback by his sudden change. She had seen him sad before, but this was new. Something was eating away at him and she felt as though there was little that could be done to help. It made her sad, her heart ache. Iris swallowed her doubt and renewed her determination as she nodded firmly.

“Say it,” Arylos said in a soft voice.

Iris felt backed in a corner as Arylos was soft and yet unmoving in his desire for this. She wanted to ask why with every fibre of her being, and yet could not bring herself to do so. This was a wound he bore and she did not want to open it further.

Don’t say that like you’re nothing, she wanted to tell him. She didn’t feel comfortable agreeing to this and yet she couldn’t tell him no. She didn’t know what would hurt him more; her agreeing to be better than him or her rejecting his request.

How could she be better than a Titan?

“I will be better,” Iris found herself promising him, unable to find any other words to bring him that could ease whatever pain he is feeling.

Arylos let out a soft sight as his expression changed to a smile that masked sadness. He let go of Iris’s shoulders and she could tell his hands were shaking as he clenched them into fists while pulling them away. “Then there is hope for you and your kind yet,” Arylos returned as his voice returned to normal. “You cannot let yourself forget what you are, who you are. No matter what path you’ve chosen, you cannot let yourself lose sight of that or you will become something different.”

“Is that what it means to become divine?” Iris asked softly about her bloodline.

“Divinity is attainable by all; it is nothing special,” Arylos corrected while deep in thought. “It’s what you do with that power, what you give your all to, that defines you and makes you who you are.”

“Why are you bringing this up now?” Iris asked.

“Because the time is coming for you to make that decision,” Arylos responded as he rose to his feet, his fists still clenched tightly. “Eir was a reminder to you; that you are not entirely human. You could have killed her and gotten revenge, instead you showed compassion. That was one of many tests that will be coming your way– my way.”

Iris raised an eyebrow, catching on something unsaid. “Coming your way?” she clarified.

Arylos’s breath shuddered as he tried to collect himself, losing himself in emotions he had not felt for a long time. “To live is to suffer,” he repeated the old Titanic proverb under his breath.

Iris took a moment to gather her thoughts, wanting to know more but deciding against it. She wanted to understand his grief as he became lost in himself. The war within him was something Iris wanted to understand but couldn’t, and that made her afraid.

But she knew one response to make.

“Then to love is to live,” she added onto the proverb as she got up from the chair and gave Arylos a pat on his shoulder. “Did you cook enough for three people?”

Arylos snapped out of his thoughts as he turned to her. “Three people? Why would I do that?”

Iris smiled as an idea came to her. “Because we’re inviting someone over tonight.”