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The First Flame
172. Or Am I Pretending?

172. Or Am I Pretending?

“How dare the two of you tie the knot without telling me?” Bellona continued on as she ruffled her hair. “We’re supposed to have a big ass party and everything! But noooo, you just had to get hooked up in secret without telling anyone!”

Arylos and Iris looked at each other with concern and irritation on their faces. The two mastered the art of non-verbal communication a few years ago and Iris found herself thankful for it. How long has she gone on? Iris asked silently, using her eyes to gesture towards Bellona and combining it with mouthed words.

Five minutes, Arylos responded with his free hand.

“I was the one who got you two together, and this is what I get?” Bellona complained as she continued pacing back and forth.

Get a load of this, Arylos silently told Iris with disbelief on his face.

Well, she did get me to confess, Iris responded with some color coming to her cheeks.

Arylos stifled a laugh and rolled his eyes. You have a point, he responded, unable to argue with her.

“Next thing I know, you two will have a kid and I won’t know until after the kid’s first birthday,” Bellona continued, still unable to shake the betrayal.

Iris smiled at Arylos yet the Titan could tell a nerve had started to pop. Arylos could practically hear the hissing in Iris’s voice as she carried on her silent conversation with Arylos filling in words that he knew she would say. Darling, would you kindly restrain me before I tell her that she can ingurgitate a portion of defecation? Arylos then quickly threw out the wording, knowing what she actually meant was far more vulgar.

Arylos couldn’t help but laugh nervously to himself as he looked for anything he could use to change the subject. “So anyway, are you staying here Eir, or do you plan to come to the western side with us?” he asked, cutting Bellona off mid-rant.

“I don’t know just yet,” Eir answered while rubbing the back of her neck. “On one hand, I’ve done all I can but at the same time, there are still a lot of people with radiation sickness and there’s not much that can be done for them.”

“So your side had the same problems with that,” Bellona said while regaining control of herself.

Eir nodded as she moved a lock of hair out of her face. “Many had mild exposure so it’s not as bad as it could be, but those who haven’t died yet likely only have a month or two left.”

Iris nodded slowly as she turned towards Arylos who hung his head low. She could feel the shame he carried on his shoulders and this certainly didn’t help. “Hey honey, why don’t you see if you can get us some food, okay?” she asked softly while resting a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll be fine here until you get back.”

Arylos shook himself free of his trance and silently nodded as he turned around, walking away from the group. “I’m sorry guys, that all still hits him hard,” Iris said as Arylos went out of earshot.

“Don’t tell me he blames himself for what happened,” Bellona said in a sad voice.

“Not just the attack, but the radiation too,” Iris said with a slow nod. “On this side, you have the residential areas so a lot of the survivors got out before they got heavily exposed. On the west side, we have guards and workshops so we have a lot of people that get exposed regularly, not to mention search and rescue. Both of us have seen what the radiation will do and there’s still a lot of people waiting for death.”

“Damn, all because he tried to stop that Eikon, not knowing that doing so would make things worse,” Eir said with a sad voice.

“To be fair, I was also hard on him initially about it,” Bellona joined in while rubbing her arms, starting to feel her own shame. “He was already feeling like shit when he found out and I shouldn’t have kicked him while he was down.”

“If it makes you feel better, I was affected by it too and he feels bad about that,” Iris said while looking down to the ground. “He already feels inadequate so none of this helps.”

“Inadequate? How come?” Eir asked out of curiosity.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know,” Iris said while shyly turning away.

“Oh? This sounds like a lovers’ quarrel between the newlyweds?” Bellona said, latching onto the topic change to improve the mood. “Is his snoring getting to you? Does he not clean up after himself?”

“No, none of that, although his snoring does get to me after a while,” Iris said while rolling her eyes.

“Oh no, you’re not cheating on him are you?” Eir said while covering her face.

“Who the hell do you take me for?” Iris said with a scoff for her wounded pride.

“Well, I’m just running down the list for newlywed problems,” Bellona said with a wave of her hands. “Usually it’s that or one of you wants children while the other doesn’t, which I guess for your case, doesn’t really apply.”

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Iris crossed her arms yet remained silent as she kept her face out of view. Eir and Bellona watched carefully as they slowly began to wonder if it does apply. Before Bellona could say anything, Iris darted back around and violently grabbed Bellona.

“I HAVEN’T HAD SEX IN A MONTH!!” Iris complained loudly while shaking the Templarian and nearly had tears in her eyes.

“Oh jeez! Gross! That is exactly what I did not want to hear!” Bellona complained in turn while trying to escape Iris’s iron grip.

“Well you were insisting!” Eir said while hiding her red cheeks.

“That’s his problem though!” Iris said while putting on her best puppy dog eyes. “We haven’t even consummated yet!”

“Oh jeez, settle down there girl before you pop a blood vessel,” Bellona said with a nervous laugh while quietly wishing she had not said anything “So, what’s his deal? Do you think he just doesn’t find you attractive anymore?” she asked while slowly pulling Iris arms off of her.

“No, I know it’s not that; yet at least,” Iris answered while turning around and leaning against the cavern wall. “I can’t complain either; the timing’s just not right. I mean, it’s kind of hard to get in the mood when we’re living in a cave after our home was destroyed and there’s a bunch of people around us who are homeless or lost family. But dammit, there are plenty of guys out there who would be happy to have a young girl like me all over them.”

“You’re not that young anymore though,” Eir said quietly.

“What was that?” Iris growled as a deep blue light quickly flashed in her eyes.

Eir quickly silenced herself and hid behind Bellona who couldn’t help but laugh. “I can understand though; kind of hard to perform in those circumstances,” Bellona said with a firm nod. “Maybe when things settle down more; this could just be a temporary lapse.”

Iris thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. “No, I don’t think so,” she said softly.

“Sure it is; it’ll pass, maybe if you guys move away from Sentoraya it’ll all be fine,” Bellona continued with a reassuring smile.

“No, that’s only half of the problem; I think he’s dying,” Iris said in a mournful voice.

“Wait, I thought Titans can’t die?” Eir asked in a shy voice, slowly coming out from behind Bellona.

“Well, they can’t, not exactly; it takes a Titan to kill another Titan,” Iris explained while rubbing her arms. “But his body is dying. You know all of those scars all over his arms? That’s from his body breaking down. He already died on me once and I’m lucky that he even came back at all.”

“But you’re worried that there won’t be a next time,” Eir said softly as she remembered the crack-like scars on the Titan’s arms and neck.

“Exactly, and he’s already weaker than normal,” Iris said softly. “He plays it off like he’s fine, but I can tell he’s using magic to help him walk; I can hear the air growl with a lot of his movements. Like, if he can barely walk on his own accord, how can I willingly complain when he can’t consummate our marriage? I’ll just sound like a spoiled brat then.”

“And you’re not already?” Bellona asked with a sly smile.

“You wanna run that by me again?” Iris growled as a blue light flashed in her eyes once more.

“I’m just joking, don’t take it personally,” Bellona said with a nervous laugh while waving her hands. “In all seriousness, this just sounds like a normal hurdle couples will have to deal with; it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Yeah, but it still makes me feel like shit; I don’t like how he’s hiding it from me and I want to help him,” Iris murmured softly.

“Well, you said it yourself; he feels inadequate,” Eir said in a slow realization.

“Exactly; he doesn’t want you to worry because he still feels the need to be strong for you,” Bellona said with a snap of her fingers. “Men don’t take feeling useless or inadequate very well.”

“But it’s not that bad, honestly; he’s doing what he can,” Iris said, trying to defend Arylos.

“That doesn’t matter to him,” Bellona corrected while shaking her head. “He wants to protect you and he feels like he can’t do that. He can’t give you children which makes him feel like a useless husband. And right now, after an Eikon leveled your home, he feels more vulnerable than ever before. So probably your insatiable libido doesn’t help either.”

“I know,” Iris said with a defeated tone. “I haven’t talked to him about it yet, but I do miss it. Like he growls sometimes in his sleep and that kind of gets me going.”

“Wait, like his growling and all of that arouses you?” Eir said with mild disgust.

“I mean, it’s kind of cute, isn’t it?” Iris said as her face began to turn red.

“Only you of all people would call the Titan of Fire ‘cute’,” Bellona said with a sarcastic chuckle.

“I mean, he’s kind of like a dog when he gets like that,” Iris said while curling her hair. “And…well, it’s kind of…hot when he gets possessive of me. Like when he claws at me or acts like he’s rubbing his scent on me,” she continued while squirming in place as she felt a telltale warmth inside her. “And then when he gets really into it, he–”

“I think I’m going to hurl; I don’t want to know about your masochism,” Eir said while covering her ears.

“All part of being in a relationship, especially a kinky marriage,” Bellona said while grabbing Iris and holding her tight. “On that note, shame on that idiot for not giving me the chance to give you away. How dare he marry a girl before she can be given to him properly.”

“Who are you, my mother?” Iris groaned, beginning to regret the secrecy of their arrangement.

“Hey, someone had to take that role and keep you safe from creeps and hook you up with a good boyfriend,” Bellona said while pulling Iris to the side like she was a doll.

“And so you hooked her up with the Titan of Fire?” Arylos’s sarcastic growling voice said from behind Bellona, startling her with his sudden reappearance.

Bellona let go of Iris and turned away, crossing her arms dramatically. “Shut up,” she mumbled, milking the drama for all it was worth. “She already picked you; I just told her to go for it. Don’t I get credit for at least that?”

Arylos laughed as he wrapped an arm around Bellona’s shoulder and hid her from Iris. “Do you really want credit for getting a little girl to embrace her bizarre sexual and romantic tastes,” Arylos said with an otherworldly growl that made Bellona’s hair stand on end, reminding her that he was not supposed to be the ‘good boyfriend’ pick. “Congratulations, you got a human to get into bed with a monster. Proud of yourself yet?”

Bellona’s face went red, remembering when Iris would go on her rants about her and Arylos’s ‘exploits’ and the many times Iris said she was sexually attracted to Arylos’s carnivorous growls and otherworldly nature. “Shut up, she’s your problem now,” Bellona said nervously, washing her hands of this match made in Hell.