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The First Flame
120. Losing Myself in This Endless Dream

120. Losing Myself in This Endless Dream

“Hurry up and pour me another glass!” Iris squealed while nustling close to Arylos on the sofa, rubbing her red cheeks against his arm.

“Jeez, someone’s impatient,” Arylos said while trying to refill Iris’s glass with more wine. “I never thought I’d say this, but you’re probably the only person who can outdrink me.”

“Ha! I win!” Iris cheered while taking her glass back from Arylos and drinking yet more wine.

“Not sure if that’s something you should take pride in, you know,” Arylos said with a laugh while picking up his own glass of wine.

“I don’t care; still a win,” Iris said triumphantly. She closed her eyes as she rested her head against Arylos and took in the quiet of the night and the peace that came with it. “A lot has happened this week alone,” she said softly, a part of her not believing any of this was real.

“We still have another three weeks here, unless you want to head home early,” Arylos said while drinking from his glass.

“No, it’s not that,” Iris said in a muffled voice. “It’s just that I can’t tell if this is a dream or not.”

“To me, this is all just a dream,” Arylos said softly after setting his glass on the end table. “Quite frankly, I don’t care if it’s real or not; it’s happening and that’s all I care about.”

Iris sat up and held her glass close, wondering if she could confide in the alcohol. “I’m just afraid that all of this is temporary; that it will go away. I don’t want it to go away, I don’t want to be alone again.”

Arylos sighed as he felt sad for her; that she now felt his own fears. “Everything is temporary, Iris,” he said while taking Iris’s glass of wine from her and setting it on the end table as well. “However, that can’t stop us from enjoying the present that we have now. Isn’t that what you have taught me?”

Iris turned away as her already red cheeks went more red. “But you’re a Titan and I’m just a human. One way or another, one of us is going to get our hearts broken, right? You ask for fifty more years but human relationships rarely last that long.” Iris began to break down in tears as the sad thoughts came to her, induced by the alcohol. “What if…something happens to us? What if we separate? I’m afraid of that; I don’t want that.”

Arylos thought about Iris’s words for a moment before sitting up straight. He couldn’t deny her fears but justifying them would only hurt her. He held his hands together as he tried to find the right words to bring to Iris; anything to make her feel better.

Yet he had nothing he could say to her.

“I understand that fear of yours so I can’t say you’re wrong,” Arylos said softly while rubbing his forearms. “If you would prefer to wait until you’re more comfortable, that’s alright. And if you don’t think you can be comfortable with it, that’s also alright.”

Iris rubbed her eyes for a moment while trying to process what Arylos was saying. “Are you saying we should…break up? Already?”

Arylos thought carefully about his words, trying to find something to say that would help her and not hurt her. “Until we can address these fears of yours. There’s not point forcing anything if you’re not happy or–”

“NO!” Iris shouted while lunging forward and hugging Arylos in a tight embrace. She choked back on her tears as she squeezed the Titan, refusing to let him go. “I don’t want that,” she whispered in a muffled voice, refusing to take her face out of Arylos’s chest.

Arylos sighed and tried to move away but Iris held him tighter. He felt like a prisoner of his own making, not willing to get Iris off of him. “What do you want then?” he asked softly while rubbing Iris’s scalp.

“I want this,” Iris said softly while gripping Arylos even tighter. “I don’t want you to go away. I just want you to stay right here where I need you. You’re all I have left, you big idiot. You said that you’ll be anything I want; well I want you here.”

“But what if the Eikons come for me?” Arylos asked in a sad voice.

“Then you better come back to me,” Iris insisted, keeping a tight hold on her Titan. “No matter what happens, no matter what they do, you will come back to me, do you understand?”

Arylos let out a sigh as he surrendered to Iris’s will. “I understand; you won’t lose me,” he said in a soft growl.

Iris nodded before finally letting Arylos go and rubbing her nose. “And don’t you dare talk about breaking up again or I won’t believe you when you say you keep your promises.”

“Are you sure you want to be stuck with a monster then?” Arylos asked with a soft chuckle.

Iris cracked a smile and climbed onto Arylos’s lap, stradling herself on his hips as she came in close and rested her forehead against his. Arylos held her close and Iris could feel a telltale warmth build up in her as she pushed herself against him. “You’re the one who’s stuck with me,” she whispered softly while caressing Arylos’s face. “I’ll say it again; if you die on me, I’ll find whatever afterlife you go to and drag you back here kicking and screaming.”

“I would expect no less,” Arylos whispered as he held Iris tighter, feeling some of her warmth come to him.

Iris giggled as her cheeks went red with ideas of what she wanted. However, she pulled away from Arylos and rested a finger on his lips. “Now now, this drunk bitch needs to go to bed.”

Arylos smiled, entertained by the girl. “You do take your sleep very seriously. Are you feeling any better now though?”

“A little,” Iris said with a shrug. “It’s still weird that you would want to be with me, but I guess if you’re wanting to, I can’t tell you no.”

“More like if I told you no, you wouldn’t take it for an answer,” Arylos said with a laugh.

“Then we’ll just have to fuck around and find out, won’t we?” Iris said while tugging on one of Arylos’s cheeks.

“That’s your solution to everything,” Arylos said while sitting up and trying to get Iris to let go of his cheek.

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“It’s worked so far so why stop now? Goodnight!” Iris said with a wink before getting off of Arylos and walking down the hall.

“Goodnight,” Arylos said softly while laying back down on the sofa, trying to get his breath and sanity back. If she keeps that up, she’ll be the death of me, he thought to himself as he tried to calm himself back down.

Iris watched Arylos lay back down and laughed to herself as she continued down the hall and opened the door to her room, quickly closing it behind her. She covered her face and squealed as she tried to control the raging urges within her. The warmth inside her refused to go away, burning a hole in her gut that made her legs shake.

Okay, teasing him is kind of fun but I end up teasing myself at the same time, Iris told herself while trying to get her breath back. She ended up repeatedly slapping her cheeks to shake the embarrassment from her. It’s fine; he’s a Titan anyway, maybe his people don’t do things like that? Maybe he wouldn’t even be into it. Maybe Titans do things differently?

Iris shook her head, trying to keep herself from thinking about how Titans would go about things. She quickly brought herself to her bed and flopped down onto it. She groaned as she rolled up her blanket and held it tight like a large pillow. She let out a satisfied sigh as she closed her heavy eyelids. She felt the relaxation take hold of her and refuse to let go as her mind blanked out save for the fading image of the Titan. She gave the spectral image a tight hug, feeling the warmth inside her once more. The Arylos in her dreams held her tight as he always did and the growl in his chest was soothing and pleasing.

Until a large dark sword ran through Arylos’s chest.

Before Iris could react, the image faded and nothing was left save for a black abyss. In flashing waves, images came to Iris bathed in red and white. Each of the images chilled Iris’s blood; blood splattered in the air as cloaked beings with glowing purple eyes stood, laughing all the while in voices that rumbled through the air. With each blink of the eyes, a new cut formed in Arylos’s body and he howled in pain.

Iris could only watch, unable to sense her own body to help him. She screamed yet found no voice. She ran but felt no legs. She was little more than an apparition; formless and powerless to do anything. She could only watch as the cloaked figures cut down Arylos until only a ruin of him was left; on his knees with a shattered sword and body torn and cut.

One of the creatures stepped forward in the images and Iris could see its hulking size nearly dwarf the walls of Sentoraya. Under a star-filled sky with oranges and blues and a purple ringed moon, she could see the creature with its silver armour with four metallic wings upon its back.

Before Iris could scream, she saw the creature lift its sword and bring it down on Arylos before it all faded to black.

All that awaited her was the image of the slain Titan; a hole in his chest where his heart once was and his black hair gone silver and his once red eyes glazed over as if his eyes were made of ice. Iris tried to scream and though she could feel her throat, she found no voice of her own. She lifted the ruined body of the Titan and held him close, trying to scream for him to come back yet found no answer; only the cold of his body and the feel of his black blood staining her.

She screamed once more and a howling roar sounded in the air as lightning struck through the skies; a cry that reality itself responded with.

As she screamed, Iris felt jolted awake and was left in her bed in the silent night gasping for breath like a floundering fish. As tears fell, she felt her chest cave in from the fear as she held her blanket tighter and began crying softly. She could do nothing else but cry as the image of Arylos being cut down haunted Iris. She felt nothing but sadness and fear as the reality set in for her.

After getting her composure, Iris slowly sat up in her bed and rubbed her face. She wondered how much of the dream was real as she got to her feet. She went for the door and quickly opened it and rushed down the hall to the room on the other side and knocked on it, trying to keep herself from pounding on it.

She needed to see him; she needed to know.

She felt tears well up in her as the door slid open and the dark shadow of the Titan stood before her, rubbing his red eyes glowing like gems in starlight.

“Is everything alright?” Arylos asked in a growling voice. As he looked at Iris and saw her crying, his demeanour quickly changed to concern as he realised something was wrong. Before he could say anything else, Iris rushed to him and hugged him, crying into his chest all the while. Arylos could do nothing but hold the girl tight and rub her back, making shushing sounds in a vain attempt to calm her back down.

He knew that all he could do was be there for her. He guided Iris towards his bed and sat her down as she retold him her dream and the images that came with it.

“So it was a nightmare,” Arylos asked rhetorically while stroking his beard.

“It felt so real; too real to be a dream,” Iris said while hiccuping.

“Dreams induced by our fears will do that to us,” Arylos assured softly while rubbing Iris’s back. “But it was a dream; nothing more.”

“But those…things, there were Eikons, weren’t they?” Iris asked while leaning against Arylos.

Arylos sighed and held her tight. “You don’t need to worry about them; it will be fine.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Arylos,” Iris commanded with a growl in her voice.

Arylos quieted himself for a moment as he tried to think of an explanation. “There are six kings among the Eikons called the Sages. Each Sage is ancient and created from a mighty warrior race. They are cunning, ruthless, and dangerous.”

“And you think they’ll come after you?” Iris asked softly.

Arylos let out a sigh as he held Iris’s hand. “They are the only creatures that could kill me, and I am also the only creature that can kill them. We are doomed to chase each other for eternity, seeking to bring death to the other. Each time they think they have beaten me, I will only get back up and take one of them with me.”

“Promise me that then,” Iris ordered in a stern voice. “Promise me that nothing will happen to you; that if they dare come after you, you will kill them before I lose you.”

Arylos fell silent as he tried to bring himself to make the promise, but couldn’t bring himself to lie to her again. “I can’t,” he confessed softly. “But I will promise that you won’t lose me.”

“Alright, that makes me feel a little better,” Iris said while wiping her nose. “Not completely, but a little. I just don’t want anything like that to happen.”

Arylos rubbed Iris’s head as he thought of ways to help her. “Do you want to sleep in here tonight then?” he asked softly.

Confused, Iris looked up at him and tried to process what he was telling her. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not much, but you can sleep in here with me,” Arylos clarified with a smile. “Maybe I can keep the nightmare from coming back.”

“I’m not a child, you know,” Iris said softly while pouting.

“I’m not saying you are, but I’m willing to bet your dream came to you out of fear of losing me,” Arylos explained while pulling Iris off of him and looking into her eyes. “Reason would dictate that me being here would help you, right?”

Iris thought about Arylos’s suggestion as her face slowly turned a shade of pink. “A-Alright, that would make me feel better,” she confessed softly.

Arylos chuckled to himself and repositioned himself to lie down and left a place for Iris. Iris continued to blush as she laid down next to Arylos as he draped the blankets over the both of them. Before Iris could do anything, she found that Arylos’s arms were wrapped around her and held her tightly. Iris’s face went bright red as she could hear Arylos growling, his chest vibrating with his breathing as his inhuman growling filled her ears.

Iris could feel the warmth inside her come back as she held the Titan’s arms and took in his otherworldly presence. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the peace that he gave her; the warmth filled her with happiness and the sound of his growling soothed her.

For only a couple of minutes.

Okay, cuddling’s cute and all but dammit I’m already hot, Iris realised as her eyes shot open. And while the growling is cute, I can’t tell what’s worse; that or snoring.

She closed her eyes once more after laughing to herself for a moment. She decided that at least for now, she would enjoy what she could; there may be a day where she won’t get this again.