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The First Flame
68. And I Never Looked Away

68. And I Never Looked Away

Iris curled up in her heavy blankets, fighting back against a sudden cold that filled her room that forced her to wake up. She let out a grumble. Winter ended months ago and yet the cold was still lingering. The warmth of the beginning of the year was now lost and replaced by a winter cold that chilled her bones.

She sat up in her bed and wrapped her blankets around her, shuddering and rubbing her arms. Under her breath, she cursed the cold as she slowly got up out of her bed, regretting wearing her light nightgown and preferring something padded or the pyjamas that Arylos bought her from Kajisho. She kept her thick blanket wrapped around her as she rummaged around, trying to find something thick to wear.

She then had a brilliant idea come to her.

She focused her breathing, sucking in air through her nose and pushing it out of her mouth with the full force of her diaphragm. After a few reps of breaths, she drew on a burning heat she was stoking within her, causing white and blue flames to erupt from her skin. She let out a sigh, preparing to bask in the warmth of the heat.

And yet she still felt cold.

She realised the flames brought her little comfort, all to her disappointment as she sighed, blowing away a stray strand of hair from her face. She could feel the heat of the flames, but it was a subtle warmth more than anything. She considered letting the flames burn brighter but did not want to risk setting the house on fire. After a moment, she released her strength and the flames faded away.

But Iris still felt something scalding on her skin. She turned around and saw that the comforter she wrapped herself up in began to smoulder. She panicked and threw it off of her, stomping out the embers with her foot and wrapping the blanket up to smother the flames.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” she called out under her breath. “The flames don’t set me or my clothes on fire but it will set my damn blanket on fire?!”

After minutes of wrestling with the scorched blanket, she was satisfied that no open flames were burning. She picked up the comforter and examined the scorch marks, seeing the fabric partly melted and the stuffing reduced to black ash in places. It was ruined and she would need a new one.

The girl couldn’t help but pout and throw the blanket off to the side, resigning to having to buy a new one. She was thankful it didn’t catch an open flame immediately, but it still disappointed her.

“FUCKING HELL!”

A familiar roar sounded from the hallway, obviously Arylos and tied up in his own misfortunes. Iris corrected herself and threw open her door and ran down the hall. She could tell it came from where Arylos’s room was, but his bedroom door was open while the bathroom next to it was closed. She came up to the bathroom door and she could hear Arylos groaning in pain inside.

“Hey! Are you okay in there?” Iris called out while pounding on the door, a part of her tempted to throw it open.

She could hear the Titan clear his throat and situate himself, whispering ‘fuck’ over and over. “I’m alright; nothing to worry about,” he returned from inside.

“I’m coming in anyway,” Iris called and turned the knob, finding it was not locked and opened the door. Her confusion grew as she saw a shirtless Arylos standing in front of the mirror, rubbing his shoulder while a set of tongs and something wrapped up in dark cloth rested on the counter.

“I appreciate that your concern includes a disregard for my privacy,” Arylos taunted in a grunt as he held his shoulder.

“That sounded painful so I was worried,” Iris returned, trying to figure out what happened.

“There’s no need to be worried,” Arylos sighed while collecting the tongs and whatever was wrapped in the cloth. Iris could tell that the tongs and the floor beneath him had a small splatter of black blood.

“Did you pull out a tooth or something? Or a nail?” Iris asked, trying to put the pieces together.

“Trust me, it’s nothing. Nothing you need to be worried about, alright?” Arylos responded with a smile as he dropped a rag onto the floor and wiped up the spot of blood with his foot. He then repeatedly sniffed like he was smelling something in the air. “I should be asking about you though; you smell like something was burning.”

Iris blushed and wrapped her arms around her. “I was cold so I tried using the flames I can control to warm up. Instead I set my blanket on fire.”

Arylos’s soft expression changed to that of concern. “Did you get burned?”

“No, I’m fine,” she responded while shaking her head. “I got it off of me before it burned me and I put it out. I’ll need to get a new one though.”

“Do you need me to come with you?” Arylos asked, picking up the rag he was using and leaning against the bathroom wall.

Iris rubbed her arms and was about to accept his offer, but then she remembered what day it was. The Day of Warmth was today. She started blushing and shook her head quickly. “I-I’ll be fine. I want to go get some other things while I’m out. Do you need anything?”

Arylos felt a touch of amusement come to him as he let out a light laugh. “I’ll be fine, although I still need to make plans for dinner tonight. If I need anything, I’ll head out later myself.”

“Alright,” Iris nodded and turned away from the bathroom and made her way to her room and closed the door behind her. She felt her heart start pounding in her ears, like the rolling thunder of a summer storm. Blood rushed to her face as she tried to hide her red face from herself.

She was out of time.

She shook her head to get the blood out of her cheeks and ran towards her dressers, trying to find something to wear. She decided to wear a black long sleeved wool shirt and trousers, hoping that the black colour would help the sunlight warm her up.

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She grabbed a hair tie and reached up for her hair, realising she had not tied it in a braid for a while. She ran her hands through her hair, feeling how long it had become. She liked braiding it since it kept it out of her way, but now it was too long to braid properly. She wondered about getting it cut while she was out, weighing whether or not she would like the shorter length. Her bangs had gotten long enough that even they could be tied back so she felt at some point it would have to be done.

A part of her wondered if Arylos could braid her hair for her.

She blushed once more and shook the girlish thought from her head as she tied it into a loose ponytail, deciding to approach that issue another day. She gathered her things and ran out of her room and down the stairs. She threw on her shoes and opened the door, feeling the sharp cold hit her face.

“I’ll be back!” she called out for Arylos to hear. As she turned away, she heard the air hum followed by feeling a sharp tug on her hair that pulled her away from the door, resulting in a pained shout from her. She rubbed her head and saw that her ponytail was floating in the air, held fast by some invisible hand.

“Real funny Arylos, you can let me go now,” she called out sarcastically. She then saw Arylos come down the stairs with his jacket draped over his hand.

“You’re not going out there without a proper jacket,” he teased her while draping his own jacket around her. Iris could feel that it was warm and heavy, padded with wool and lined with silk. It hung off of her but the warmth cradled her.

“What are you, my mom?” Iris bit back while hiding her red face.

“I’m your friend,” the Titan responded while giving her a soft tap on her head and she could feel his pull on her hair let go. “And in case you have forgotten, it’s my job to keep you safe and happy, remember?”

“I remember,” Iris pouted while crossing her arms, feeling like Arylos was taking on a parental role for her now. She scoffed and made her way outside into the cold spring, planning which stores to head to.

And once again, history repeats itself.

“I’m such an idiot!” she shouted to herself, leaving the last of the markets that was closing as sundown was coming across the city. She held onto the new blanket she bought tight and brought it up to her face to hide her nose and lips from the cold. Yet, she still couldn’t find what she wanted to get Arylos.

All of the trinkets ran through her head. She saw charms, artwork, carvings, even novelty toys that entertained her. Yet none of it seemed appropriate to give a Titan. Nothing seemed to be a proper gift to give him.

“What would he even want as a gift?” Iris interrogated herself aloud. “He was happy with his broken Dreamcatcher charm so getting him another charm wouldn’t be good. I doubt he would be interested in toys. He has almost every book I would think he would want besides writing drill books– and I am not subjecting him to that horror.”

She rubbed her red nose against the blanket as she tossed ideas around in her head. As she was walking, she saw one last street vendor closing up for the night but had a few items on display that he had not put them away yet. Bags of colourful candies on the merchant’s table caught her eye; brightly coloured in shades of greens, whites, reds and pinks.

Without hesitation, she asked the merchant to buy one and gave him some coins and made her way home with her spoils, practically running through the front door as the warmth of the house swallowed her and she closed the door behind her and leaned against it.

“I was beginning to worry,” she could hear Arylos teasing from a spot on the couch with a lit fireplace and the torotsu blankets taken back out for the sudden cold.

“Aww, that’s cute,” she returned his sarcasm while taking off her shoes and tucking the bag of candies safely out of view as she took off his jacket and laid it on the couch.

“My thoughts exactly,” Arylos scoffed as he turned to face her from the couch. “I was worried I would have to go to the guards looking for a little girl.”

Iris’s face went red hot but she felt a warmth in her fight back her embarrassment. “Whatever,” she scoffed and made her way up the stairs, heading back to her room. She closed the door behind her and dropped the new blanket and the bag of candies on her bed as she tried to maintain her composure.

She hated him, especially when he says stuff like that, but at the same time she couldn’t hate him.

She shook herself out of her confusion, deciding to be nice for the last few hours of the Day of Warmth. She quickly took off her black clothing and took out the blue and gold yokui that Arylos bought her. She felt a smile come to her as she put it on, wanting to bring out all of her charms for Arylos today. She had many things and more that she was thankful to him for.

Finally, she tied her hair up into a neat bun. She reached for the bag she bought and placed it in a pocket in the yokui sleeve, deciding to find the opportune moment. She wanted to find words to tell him as her stomach felt like it was trembling within her. She was nervous, unsure what to do or say.

He’s my friend, and that’s all I care about, she told herself in an attempt to quell her beating heart. She took a deep breath and opened the door again, making her way down the stairs and seeing Arylos had not moved from his spot on the sofa. She walked quietly as she came up behind him.

“Boo,” she whispered in his ear.

“You’re not going to be able to sneak up on me, you know that right?” Arylos teased with a smile.

“You could at least let me try!” Iris pouted and tapped the Titan’s head.

“I did; that’s how we got that pork earlier in the winter,” Arylos teased, turning to face the girl who was already turning red from embarrassment. “I told you that’s the last time you’ll be able to do that to me, did I not?”

Iris turned away to hide her face as Arylos laughed. “I hate you sometimes, you know that?”

“No you don’t,” Arylos returned while turning towards the window. “Well, would you look at that; I told you judging winter’s end by the first snow melt was a bad idea.”

Iris calmed herself and turned to the window and she could see small white flakes start to fall again outside. The realisation led to a heavy sigh from her. “And here I was happy that spring was here,” she lamented while crossing her arms, feeling the bag of candies still in her sleeve.

Arylos laughed and got up from the sofa and approached the window, admiring the falling snow. Iris felt an anxious feeling come to her, something she wanted to do but had never done before. She started to realise what she wanted but was too nervous to ask.

“H-Hey Arylos,” she finally voiced in a cracked voice. “I’ve never really seen the city at night…”

Arylos turned away from the window and admired the blushing, smiling, and squirming girl. “Neither have I,” he responded softly. He saw her in her pretty blue yokui, feeling as though he is finally fulfilling his role. She was happy now; he wouldn’t see her cry anymore, and that made him feel warm inside. He valued her smile more than her tears. He felt something come to him; a part of this living dream he could experience that he knew he wanted.

Peace.

“Do you want to do it?” Arylos asked with a cheery voice.

“E-Eh? D-Do what?” Iris asked as her face went more red.

Arylos laughed and reached for the jacket on the sofa and draped it over his arm. “Do you want to take a nighttime stroll through the city?”

Iris felt her face go hot again, instinctively reaching for her cheeks and feeling the burning heat. She felt a warmth well up in her; a giddy happiness that she had only read about in stories. She felt her mind and her heart begin to agree.

“Yes,” she replied with a big and warm smile.