Am I alive? Or am I just pretending?
Alone in the darkness, a soul drifted in the endless unknown. The sunless skies across the expanse of creation consumed all. As the soul drifted through the abyss, it could hear the whispers of its mind, a screaming echoing in the void. The soul slowly awoke, losing itself in the infinite unknown.
Awakened, I am a dreamer who drifts to the edge of a tranquil sea where the skies end and my fate dies.
The soul could feel the edges of its mind as it was touched by the abyss. The soul’s prayers were heard by none, and yet all. As the soul pieced itself back together, the soul’s screaming accompanied its prayers and echoed across all of reality. A trap for the mind, body, and soul as the soul’s cries echoed off of the endless horizons.
Crushed under the weight of my sins, I commend myself to the fire; a martyr’s immolation that I longed for.
Fear and sadness enveloped the soul, feeling the cold sink into its skin. It missed the light and the warmth that once graced it. It felt lost and alone, barren of thought. The darkness of the real world haunted it; if it had eyes, it could cry as it beheld the beautiful loneliness that has embraced it for as long as it had known.
Once more I go into the breach, going deaf from the sound of rain.
Suddenly, it could feel a pull, a voice. A whisper to accompany its screams. And yet the soul could not comprehend the words. It was not until the screams became clearer in its mind that it could hear it; a woman crying, a woman screaming. The woman’s voice filled the soul with dread that it could not help but scream in return. The soul could not understand; it was a pain that lacked definition and reasoning. It was a pain that was so brilliant and loving in its touch that the soul found a warmth in it. And yet there was a warmth in her voice, a soothing touch to her screams that the soul felt could overpower the pain.
I’m drowning in the flood I made. I just want to be home with the light again
The soul’s prayers whispered through the screaming. As it looked up to the endless expanse above, the soul felt a deep love for the pain as it gazed into the endless sea of stars that began to blink into existence, like diamonds thrown on a velvet dress. Suddenly, the skies began to churn as if the woman wearing the dress began to spin. The soul’s screams finally found root as flames began to consume the endless horizons. It was not only a scream of pain, but of mourning. Yet one part of the pain stuck out; an unholy anger that set the soul ablaze in flames of endless fury. A rage so otherworldly that this small window of reality quaked under its might; a rage so pure and white hot that it became its own sun, blinding all other stars.
So take me home.
The soul found its body and slowly opened its eyes, looking up at the ceiling of a cave. Slowly, it moved its body under thick sheets as it tried to breath, gasping for air like it had not breathed in a long time. Like a torn glove that won’t fit anymore, it moved its hands slowly as finger joints popped in and out of place. In the blurred vision, the soul could make out the shape of a female and in its deafened ears, it could hear a voice; soft and gentle with a soothing ring. Then a warm touch graced the soul’s face, its touch sweet and loving.
The soul had found its way home.
The soul cleared its throat, its voice rasping and growling like a weakened animal. “Iris?” the voice asked softly as its vision cleared, able to see the details of her face more clearly.
“Hey honey,” Iris answered softly while stifling tears. “You made it back home.”
Memories flooded the soul’s mind, reminding him of who he was as he looked into Iris’s warm eyes, drawn to her like a fly to honey. He let out a smile, happy to see her again. “I’m home,” he said softly, leaning into her hands.
Iris cupped Arylos’s face in her hands, holding him gently as she tried to contain her crying. She pressed her forehead against his, feeling the warmth of his skin come over her. She closed her eyes as she felt his hand gently brush her cheek, feeling hot tears slowly stream down her face that she could not contain anymore. “I missed you, honey,” she whispered softly.
“And I missed you,” Arylos said softly, his growling voice filling Iris’s ears once more. As he pulled away from her, he gingerly wiped the tears from her eyes as he looked at her with soft sorrowful eyes. He tried to move his left arm to hold her yet he found the arm refused the command.
With a confused grunt, he looked down at his arm that was hidden under the blanket. He grunted loudly as he tried to pull the arm from under the blankets and the arm moved slowly and he could feel a stinging pain running up his arm. As he pulled his arm from the blanket, he saw that there was a large black scar running down his arm and the skin itself was blackened and scarred like a burnt log. Arylos gasped as he examined the arm, slowly turning it and seeing it shake violently from the muscles trying to move. Iris let out a sigh as she watched Arylos’s face soften and his breath shake as he saw just how far he pushed his body.
It was a startling reminder that he was living on borrowed time and that time was nearly up.
Arylos lowered his arm and let out a pained sigh as Iris repositioned herself next to him and set a hand on his chest. “None of the human doctors here knows how to treat that,” Iris said with concern as she looked at his broken arm. “They said it’s like the limb itself is dead, and they even considered cutting it off. It was the only thing that didn’t heal properly so they were worried that it was infected.”
“It’s not infected; it’s dead,” Arylos corrected with a growl as he rubbed his eyes. “It means that this body is dying and I don’t have much time left.”
“Before you die?” Iris asked with concern.
“Before this body dies and I’m cast out of this world,” Arylos corrected as he turned his head to the side and he could see other refugees crowding around fires. Some of the refugees were crying and those who were not held their sadness heavy on their shoulders. Arylos narrowed his eyes as he watched the refugees, remembering that this was no longer a dream, but reality. “What happened?” he asked in a soft stern voice while watching the refugees.
Iris stammered as she tried to find the right explanation for Arylos. “Well, after the fighting, Bellona took you here and we tried to patch you up as best as we could. Some of the doctors–”
“What happened?” Arylos asked again, cutting Iris off as his face went into a deep growl.
Iris caught on and let out a sigh as she understood what Arylos was asking. She took a deep breath as she tried to formulate the right words. She rested her hand on Arylos’s shoulder as she worked up the courage to tell him. “The fighting stopped a week ago,” she began with a shuddered breath. “Bellona brought you back here three days ago while searching for other survivors. Once the fighting ended, the snow came and since then made searching the city difficult.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Iris then resituated her legs under her as she watched Arylos grit his teeth. “There are still search parties, but at this point we all accept that they are searching for bodies now,” Iris continued as her tone softened. “Moviron has been running a census to count everyone and the final count has not been announced, but we estimate that only a quarter of the population is left. Scouts have been sent to the other holds as well, but we haven’t heard back from them. Moviron and Bellona are fearing the worst, wondering if Sentoraya was only one of many other cities the Eikon attacked.”
Arylos growled softly as he turned his gaze back to Iris, the burning light in his eyes carrying a familiar rage that Iris recognized. “What about Eir?” Arylos asked in a deep growl.
Iris smiled and shook her head. “She’s fine; she’s in the northeastern caverns,” Iris explained while looking around the caves around them. “The guards have been finding a safe passage to the other side to help reunite families, but the passages are narrow and weren’t meant for the displaced families so they’re funneling them through one by one as they find another way.”
“And that is why she’s there; to help the displaced,” Arylos said with a slow nod.
“Yeah, she’s been doing well at that; we should honestly be proud of her,” Iris said with a soft chuckle as she brushed a strand of Arylos’s hair out of his face.
Arylos returned her smile for a moment before returning his gaze to another group of refugees. “And what of the dead?” he asked softly.
Iris looked over towards the same family Arylos was watching, examining how they embraced each other in silent mourning. “There’s too many to count and many have not left remains,” Iris explained in a soft voice. “Moviron’s plan is to release a list of names of those who were never found and burn those that were found in mass pyres.”
“So what he did during the Dragon Wars when the body count was beyond comprehension on a daily basis,” Arylos said softly as he ran his tongue through his cheek, lost in thought.
“Yeah,” Iris said softly, knowing how deep this wound was for him.
Arylos slowly nodded as he turned his attention to bandages on Iris’s arms, slightly stained with blood that he recognized as not his own. “What about after the dust settled?” he asked softly.
Iris sniffled as she took her arm back and rubbed her hands together. “After Bellona dug you out of the snow, she brought you here to me while I was working with the injured. You were…barely conscious and…well you died in my arms.”
Arylos’s expression softened as he watched Iris comfort herself against the pain that came to her. “I thought it was bad when you didn’t come back to me,” Iris continued while looking back up at Arylos with sadness in her brown eyes. “But no; you died and I was alone again. There was nothing I could do; only hold your body and pray for you to come back, but you never did. Everyone thought you were dead and I began to believe that for a while.”
“Yet you stayed?” Arylos asked softly, wishing his body could let him embrace her.
Iris slowly nodded and stretched out her bandaged arms. “I uhh, I remember what you told me when we met; that you feed and regain power when you consume living things, like how you went from a dried corpse to fully healed after killing Yokubo. So I…gave you my blood.”
Arylos let out a pained gasp as he reached out to Iris’s arms, running his hand along her bandaged wounds. “You should not have done that for me.”
“But you were gone; I had to try something,” Iris said softly as the shame set in for her and she wanted to rip her arms away from Arylos. “It didn’t hurt as bad as losing you; I was more than happy to try it if it worked.”
“Even still, this is too far,” Arylos said with a soft voice. “None of this should have happened; it wouldn’t have happened if I wasn’t here.”
Iris quickly shook her head, refusing Arylos’s remorse. “Don’t say it; none of that is true.”
Arylos shook his head slowly as he looked back up to the cave ceiling. Iris watched as tears streamed from his eyes as he choked up on tears that were coming out without limit. “It is,” he said in a soft voice, losing his telltale growl. “Vortex was here for me. If I wasn’t here, none of this would have happened,” he continued, his voice sounding more human as he began to cry uncontrollably. “It’s my fault, and there’s nothing I could do to make it right.”
“Honey, no; you don’t mean that,” Iris said while shaking her head.
“It doesn’t change the fact that it’s true,” Arylos said as he began to break down, taking his arm back and laying it over his eyes. “None of this would have happened. All of these people would still be alive. None of this would have happened and this world would have been left at peace.”
“They would have come for us sooner or later,” Iris said softly, while frantically trying to comfort Arylos.
“It doesn’t matter,” Arylos continued while being unable to contain his grief as the dam ruptured. “You should have left me to rot in those woods. If I never came here, none of this would have happened.”
“Arylos–” Iris began in a stern voice before getting cut off by Arylos’s cries sounding louder. His body shook as he pulled at his hair, seemingly wanting to rip locks of hair out as he cried. Iris let out a sigh as she rested a hand on Arylos’s arm, trying to provide some form of comfort to the sobbing Titan. She knew there was nothing she could do to ease his grief and it was very possible her presence made it worse.
“I should have died instead of them, or die with them at the very least,” Arylos said in a soft whisper as he choked on his overflowing tears. Iris slowly shook her head as she pulled Arylos’s arm away from his face, looking into his burning red eyes as the tears in his eyes lensed the otherworldly light.
“So you would rather leave me behind,” Iris whispered softly as her lip quivered yet her eyes were stern and full of anger. Arylos slowly quieted himself as he reached his hand out to Iris but she pulled away from him. She leaned backwards and rubbed her arms around herself and looked away from Arylos, eyeing the other refugees as tears came down her face.
Arylos clenched his fist as he looked at Iris, knowing he overstepped a line. He rubbed his eyes and nose before turning away and tugging the blanket closer to his chest. He thought to himself in silence as he heard Iris sniffle yet remain defiant to her raging emotions. Arylos turned back to face Iris and watched her like she was a morning sunrise, admiring her features and yet finding himself hating the obvious look of pain and sorrow on her face.
Arylos calmed himself down as he watched Iris continue to rub her arms together. “Are you cold?” he asked in a soft growling voice.
Iris looked down to her arms and back towards Arylos before looking away like nothing happened. “No, I’ll be fine,” she said quickly, shrugging him off.
Arylos let out a sigh, knowing that no apology would help his case. He wanted to make it all better, remembering his hatred of seeing her cry. He wanted to go back to the way things were. He wanted her to cling to him like she always did. He wanted to feel her warmth give life to his cold and dying body.
He only wanted one thing, and it was her.
“I am,” Arylos told Iris, keeping his eyes locked on her.
Iris thought for a moment before turning back towards Arylos, seeing the sincere look in his eyes that told her something in words she couldn’t hear. She processed his words as she began to wonder how the Titan of fire himself could be cold under three blankets. She was about to turn away when she saw Arylos look down as if in shame of what he asked her, as if he was embarrassed. It took her too long to realize what he was asking; he wasn’t cold and needed more blankets, he was alone and wanted her warmth. He was scared and alone and needed someone to hold him.
For the first time, the Elder Titan of Fire was asking for help and allowing himself a moment of weakness.
Iris sighed as she realized that Arylos was cold in more than one way; he had just come back from the equivalent of a Titan’s afterlife and he only wanted to be with her. She swallowed her tears as she slowly lifted up Arylos’s blankets and crawled underneath with him as he wrapped his good arm around her. He pulled her close as she embraced him tight, feeling his dry lips kiss her scalp.
“I’m sorry for what I said,” Arylos said softly as he held Iris tighter like the wind threatened to blow her away. “But don’t forget that I love you, and I always will. Nothing, not even death will take my love for you away.”
Iris let out a comforted sigh as she took in the Titan’s affection. She locked her arms around his chest and held him tight like he was a stuffed animal as she rubbed her face in his chest.
“I’m sorry too, and I’m sorry that I love you,” Iris said softly as she settled herself into the Titan’s arms. “It would be a lot easier if I didn’t care, but I can’t help myself. The same drive you feel to protect me is the same I have for you. So just shut up and let me love you.”
Arylos laughed softly as he tightened his grip on Iris, kissing her gently as his warm tears brushed against her forehead. “I will always belong to you,” Arylos said softly, submitting himself to Iris completely.