Iris leaned her head back in the hot bath, taking in the steam and the alluring and intoxicating alcohol. The relaxation made her head swim and yet she let herself get sucked into the cyclone. She felt herself melt into the warm waters with the only sensation being the bite of the minerals of the water. The bubbles and the nipping sensation against her skin relaxed her more than a soothing and deep massage could. She smiled as she accepted that coming to the bath with the other women was a good idea; she could feel her joints relish the ability to float in the bubbling waters. As she closed her eyes, she could swear she was on the verge of sleep.
“Now, let’s talk girl stuff,” Bellona said in a cheery voice as she opened another bottle and filled her glass. By Iris’s count, this was bottle number five, most of the alcohol split between the Templarian women.
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Iris said while finishing her glass and handing out her glass for a refill from Bellona.
“Girly stuff? Why not boys? That’s a good topic,” Eir suggested while taking a refilled glass for herself.
“Careful there, I don’t think Iris wants to talk about boys right now,” Bellona teased while tapping her nose before taking a drink of wine herself.
“Wait, what?” Iris cut in, suddenly realising she was the topic.
“Oh come on! I’m dying to know; we’ve all been teased long enough!” Eir said before taking a drink and moving closer to Iris. “So, what’s your deal; you looking for someone?”
“Ehhh?” Iris asked, trying to make sense of the valkyrie.
“Why would she be looking for someone when she already found the one she wants,” Bellona teased while taking another drink.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Iris said while laughing nervously.
“Sounds to me like she needs more wine,” Eir said in a casual voice and Iris could see the valkyrie’s cheeks turning red. “Come on now; we all know you have the hots for Arylos.”
“I-I do not!” Iris squealed as her face started turning more red than the wine.
“Aha! There it is; the tsundere thing!” Bellona called out while pointing right at Iris. “She’s in looooove.”
“S-Shut up!” Iris rejected while shaking her head fast enough that it was starting to make her dizzy.
“You do a horrible job of hiding it you know,” Eir teased while moving even closer to Iris, giving the awkward girl no breathing room.
Iris felt her embarrassment seize her heart and it felt like her chest was about to cave in. Her pounding heart made her head spin as she realised she had nowhere left to run. “S-So what? What about it?” she asked softly.
Bellona laughed as she had her plan of attack. “Remember how I said that you and Arylos have been friends for a while? I’m just saying; some people get pretty close in that time.”
“You’ve known him longer so that means nothing,” Iris said while turning away from Bellona, trying to hide her disappointment.
“What? You think I would make a move on him?” Bellona asked while laughing.
“Why wouldn’t you? Haven’t you two been through hell together?” Iris asked softly, preparing herself for what Bellona would say.
Bellona scoffed and moved over to the other side of the bath so Iris was in between her and Eir. “Iris, honey, you are the only one brave and crazy enough to pursue a Titan romantically; braver and crazier than I am.”
“Oh don’t give me that,” Iris scoffed while covering her face. “You’re perfect for him. Both of you are hardened warriors, you’re beautiful and perfect, you’re a Templarian, you’re smarter, and you have more history with him. Don’t tell me he wouldn’t be into you.”
“You don’t give me that,” Bellona barked while giving Iris a sharp tap on her head. “He’s a warrior, yes, but he hates war. My status as a Templarian means nothing to him. Arylos would struggle to call me smart and my history with him is dark and bloody. Quite frankly, getting romantically involved with an eternal Titan is above my pay grade.”
Iris puffed up her face as she squirmed under the judgemental eyes of the Templarians. “Notice how you didn’t say anything about the ‘beautiful and perfect’ part,” Iris grumbled under her breath.
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“I’m being serious, Iris; I have nothing that I can offer him,” Bellona said with a soft smile.
Iris thought for a moment before looking back towards Bellona. “If you have nothing to offer him, then what do I have that he wants?”
“Umm, hello, you’re a beautiful young woman with a fiery and bold personality,” Eir said while pinching Iris’s cheek. “He already cares loads about you so why the hell would he not love you.”
“Because I’m mortal,” Iris whispered softly. “I’ll die long before he does, we won’t be able to grow old together, we can’t have children with each other. This is all just a temporary moment that will pass by the time Arylos blinks. I’m not even a footnote in his life.”
“Do you think any of that matters to him?” Bellona asked softly. “ Arylos is a man of determination and simple needs but he is a man after all.”
“Why do you think he calls this a ‘waking dream’?” Eir asked, pressuring Iris further.
Iris raised her voice to say something but quieted herself as she slowly began to see from Arylos’s perspective. This is all a pleasant and happy dream that he can enjoy before waking up and facing the harsh reality of the world again.
“Is it right though?” Iris asked softly, slowly coming to terms with all of it.
“It’s not a question of whether it’s right Iris; it’s a question of if it’s something you want,” Bellona said softly while wrapping her arm around Iris. “You two are stronger together than you are apart. The question is do you want to be together?”
“The question is does he want to be together,” Iris corrected in a sad voice. “What if he doesn’t love me like that? What if I’m just chasing the sun and getting nothing in return?”
“Are you stupid, Iris?” Eir asked in a sarcastic voice. “He obviously loves you; he cares about you, he wants you. Like you; he doesn’t hide it very well.”
“Don’t get my hopes up,” Iris mumbled. “I have nothing I can offer him.”
Bellona rubbed her chin before splashing Iris with the hot water. “Then the only way for you to know for certain is to talk to him. So go talk to him about it.”
“I can’t talk to him about this,” Iris said while rubbing the water from her eyes.
“Yes you can!” Bellona insisted while splashing more water in Iris’s face. “This affects the two of you. If you want a future with him, you have to talk to him about things like this. So go! Get out of here and talk to him!”
Iris tried to fight back against the Templarian, keeping the water out of her face. “But Bellona–”
“I don’t care!” Bellona insisted while splashing Iris with more water. “Get out there and talk to your big idiot! Go!”
Iris growled as the constant water splashing infuriated her yet she felt it was not the only thing. Bellona’s constant prodding made Iris more mad. She tried to fight back against the torrent of water yet Bellona would not let up. Before long, Eir began laughing and splashing water as well and Iris could do little but shield her face and keep the water out of her eyes.
“Okay fine! I’m going!” Iris shouted while getting out of the bath and walking towards the dressing room.
“That’s the spirit!” Bellona shouted, enjoying her victory. “Get out there and tell him how you feel! Show that idiot how much you love him!”
Iris ducked behind the sliding door and took a deep breath as she leaned against it. She rubbed her red-hot cheeks and wondered how much of this was Bellona’s doing or the alcohol. She shook the thoughts from her mind as she quickly threw on a robe and ran out into the street, her heart pounding like a warrior’s drum. She quietly prayed that this strength would last her until she could see Arylos; the last thing she wanted was to get there and still be unable to say it.
She took Bellona’s words to heart and thought repeatedly about what she would say. The images came back to her as she ran, imagining as if she saw Arylos on the far end of the street. She ran as if she was running towards his arms as the years passed in her mind. With each step, a season passed until her hair turned white and her skin wrinkled. Yet with each passing season, the Titan stood strong, holding her hand against the weathering storm of time.
All the way until Iris stopped in her tracks as reality set in. The image of the truth came to her; an image of Arylos kneeling next to her cold and fading corpse. Yet he remained strong, defiant like a mountain in a storm. His red eyes outshone the sun with light. Iris felt tears come to her, knowing and accepting that this is her fate; to die and leave the last of the Titans alone to guard her remains.
He would be nothing more than a Mourning God.
Iris rubbed the tears from her eyes as she took off running again, wanting to run to Arylos’s side just as he had for her. She wanted nothing more than to be a part of his life, even if it was just for a moment. She wanted this; she needed this. He had always been there for her and would remain by her side in death; the least she can do is be by his side in life.
He would be her carnivore, and she would be his dreamcatcher.
Before she knew it, Iris found herself on the front door of the cottage she shared with Arylos. As she reached for the door, she froze in place as she realised just what she was about to do.
Just say it, she told herself. Just say what you’re thinking. Even if he says no, get it out so it hurts less.
Iris swallowed her fear and opened the door and saw Arylos on the sofa holding a glass of wine in one hand and a book in the other. “I’m back,” Iris whispered softly as she closed the door, trying to catch her breath.
“Welcome back,” Arylos’s growling voice called out as he kept his face in his book.
Iris held her hands together as she slowly walked over towards the Titan. She didn’t know what to say to him, but she knew she had to say it; the question was what to say to him. What could she say to make this go over smoothly?
Iris let out a sigh, accepting that the only thing she could tell him was the truth. “H-Hey Arylos, can we talk?”