“You know how before I passed out I was telling you guys about my bug collection and everything and after Lady Miranda told me to come get you, I got to thinking that after this is all over that if the two of you were still interested …”

Robert narrated their entire climb from the first step to the last as he told them about every bug, insect, moth, mantis, and dead thing in his collection. Calista and Lefty, both knowing better than to interrupt him with the truth, listened dutifully as they followed the bodiless voice lead them up the stairs. Every now and again, they heard his scales scrape against the brick walls, reminding them that they were being led by a monster that, albeit friendly, was likely very, very dangerous.

By the time they were nearing the top of the stairwell, Robert’s voice had taken an almost mystical tone as he told them about a unique cat bug he had found at the bottom of a well that apparently he had only ever found one of. He was, apparently, very proud of his dead cat bug that he had pinned to the very back page of his binder. He said it was his very favorite bug in his entire collection of bugs and that it (as Calista heard it) was the very first bug that he was threatening to show them when they got out of the dungeon.

Finally, the stairwell bent one last time and an iron door came into view. They heard Robert stop as the sad monster let out a long sigh. “Alright, I guess here she is. I guess you guys probably won’t see me again, but if you do, I promise to share all my bugs with you. Okay?”

Calista couldn’t help but feel very, very sad. “Yes Robert, we promise that if we get out of here alive that we will come and you can show us your entire collection of bugs from top to bottom.”

When Lefty didn’t say anything, she nudged him in the ribs. “Er … yeah! Yeah, we totally promise to come see all of your creepy insects, dude.”

Calista elbowed him much sharper this time as she whispered, “I’m serious, you cretin.”

Robert’s voice sounded hopeful, “Really?”

Lefty looked like he was about to wink, but then Calista shot him a withering glare. “Yes,” the mage said in a friendly tone. “We promise unconditionally to witness your enchanting bug collection as soon as we get out of here.”

Robert let out a happy sigh. “Alright, then I guess I better finish helping you get out of here.” They heard his scaly hands grasp the door handle. Then he paused. “And by the way, I’m really sorry I passed out back there. I really would have liked to help you, you know.”

“Yes, yes,” Calista nodded, “I’m sure you would have been a big help, but it was very, very dangerous.”

They heard the scales scrape against the walls as Robert flexed. “Yeah, it’s okay. I’m a big guy. I probably would have just gotten in the way.”

Before either of them could think of a response to that, the door opened and they heard Robert walk through.

“I thought you’d never come.”

If you find this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the infringement.

As they came into view of her painting, she was leaned up against the edge of a desk, arms crossed. They had heard the sound of her foot tapping all the way down the hallway. Whatever magic that held her inside that painting seemed to allow her more than a little autonomy. Calista wondered just what it was like to be a ghost trapped inside an inanimate object, and she had thoughts on asking the old woman about just that, but then she saw the old woman’s glare and decided against it.

Lefty, however, fixed Lady Miranda with his most winning smile, “And just what made you think we’d stand you up?”

The old woman shifted her shoulders and gave just a hint of a grin to the young mage. “I’m not terribly used to people coming through on their promises. So you’ll have to forgive me if I need to be a little ornery every now and again. My only company here is Robert and he doesn’t visit me nearly as much as he’s supposed to.”

A sulky voice replied from the darkness, “I don’t know what your problem is. I don’t owe you anything.”

“My problem is that I’m stuck in this painting, you cretin.” Lady Miranda shot another glare in the direction of Robert’s voice before she regained her air of self-importance. “You see what I have to deal with? I love my Robert dearly, but I’m an ornery old woman who doesn’t get out much.”

“Well, you’re an old woman trapped in a painted and so it’s to be expected,” Lefty casually tucked his hands in his robe as his smile brightened. “Now, what’s this I hear about you knowing the way to Severin’s chambers?”

Lady Miranda paused, but only for a second as she caught the gleam in Lefty’s eye. “Yes, I could get you there right now, but first I have a few questions.”

Lefty leaned back against the wall, “Fire away.”

The old woman fixed her gaze on Calista, “First, I want to know why you two didn’t come visit my other painting?”

Calista said flatly, “Because we got captured, beaten, tortured, chased, imprisoned again, and were generally abused by everything we came across.”

“And now you want out,” Lady Miranda said.

“Pretty please,” Lefty said cheerfully.

“Alright, but first I need one favor,” the old woman said.

Lefty nodded, “Name it.”

“I need you to come see me again,” Lady Miranda said. “After you escape, that is.”

“Back here?” Lefty asked.

Lady Miranda continued, “No, I have other paintings in other castles and I move in between them. I’m only here in these paintings because I knew someone would come along who needed my help and so I’ve actually waited here for some time, looking for someone like yourselves to come along.”

Calista looked at the ceiling as she waited for the two of them to stop talking. Typical NPCs. Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them. Can’t get rid of them.

“Not … exactly,” Lady Miranda said.

Calista blinked and looked at the painting.

“What?” Lefty asked. “What’s not exactly.”

Lady Miranda winked, “Nothing. Just talking to myself.”

“Oh,” Lefty said.

“Oh,” Calista said, stunned.

“So that’s it,” Lefty continued. “You just want us to come see you when we’re done?”

Lady Miranda let out a heavy sigh. “Yes. There is much more than that, but I’m afraid the questline that I’ve been tied to is long and complicated. Far too intricate for me to explain here when the two of you have so little time. You really do need to get to Severin’s chambers and kill him before he kills Narene, or Narene kills him, or Vevic kills him or whatever is about to happen. It’s a mess, but it should be a good enough mess to see the two of you out of this place.”

“Let’s hope,” Lefty said.

“Yes, let’s.” Lady Miranda agreed. She then let out another heavy sigh as she stood up from the desk. “Alright. I’m going to teleport the two of you now and you’ll land right next to your gear. I’m not taking any chances since I need the two of you out of your prison so that you can get me out of mine.”

She then clapped.

WUMP!

The room bent and folded again and then all went dark.