The door slammed itself shut as a set of iron bars fell over it. Calista rubbed her eyes. She wanted to log out and take a break but was afraid that if she did the entire dungeon would reset again. As she drew her hands away, she found herself surrounded by darkness.

This dungeon was already exhausting. Typically, a dungeon had a pattern you could pick up on. A theme even. Something you could get used to. But with this one, it was like every other room had something new and terrible in it. Oh, and I’m getting real tired of checking for traps. Why is everything trapped? What kind of paranoid little ingrate is running this place? While her original goal had been to just escape the dungeon, she had begun to consider finding and killing this Severin before she left out of pure spite.

“W-Why can’t I see?” Lefty said. “Where did the torches go? There were a pair of torches when we walked in here. Why did they go out?”

“Probably because there’s something in here that intends on killing us.” She replied.

She felt him step behind her and clutch her cloak.

“Hey, I’m not the tank here.” She snapped.

“Well you’re a helluva lot more tanky than I am, Miss High-Level-Delver.”

“Why don’t you just summon something?”

“What? Like a badger? Or perhaps a trio of very upset geese?”

“Are you really that useless?” She asked.

Lefty’s whisper was harsh. “I’ll have you know that I happen to have a set of very powerful spells that I can pull out at any given time. They just aren’t conjuration spells. I’m a specialist, which means I had to give something up which, for me, meant conjuration, which is an underpowered school in the first place. Now if you would be so kind, would you please turn on a light of some kind so I can at least look the monster in the eyes as its jaws crush my rib cage.”

“Why don’t you just cast light?” she asked.

“I’ve been trying but I’m too scared to remember the proper hand gestures.”

“Why are you so scared? It’s a game, remember?”

“Because that’s a weakness I traded for more ability points.”

“It sounds like you have a really stupid character design.”

“You know what’s a stupid character design? Delvers who act like they’re smarter than everyone else. Now shut up and get me some light so I can die with dignity.”

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Calista sighed, pulled out her penlight, tapped the little stick on her leg, and watched as a warm glow slowly penetrated the room. They were in a bed chamber of some kind. A very expensive bed chamber. Like the kind you would normally find on the upper floors of a castle where a princess or a king might sleep. There was a brown and burgundy rug lying in the center of the floor while a giant bed sat lined up against the wall, curtains hanging off its sides. A tall dresser sat against one wall and a mahogany desk sat against the other. Finally, there was a second doorway along the far wall, but sadly it too was covered by iron bars.

“Okay, so just what are we looking at?” Lefty whispered.

“I think we’ve stumbled into a master bedroom,” Calista said. But why would there be a bedroom here?

“Yes, I can see that,” Lefty replied. “My question is why are we locked in here?”

A sad voice came from the corner. “That would probably be because I’m supposed to kill you.”

Calista looked to see where the voice had come from but could see no person or thing in the room. She activated her [Perception] but came up with nothing.

The sad voice continued, “That is, of course, if you can manage to escape before I can get to you. Then we can just call it a draw.”

The speaker sounded like a very sullen teen-aged male who had been ordered to do his homework on a Friday night. As she stepped to the center of the room, Calista could practically feel him moping. However, no matter which way she turned her pen light, she couldn’t spot where the voice was coming from.

“You know, you don’t sound like you’re terribly opposed to us leaving,” Lefty said.

“I never said that. I only said that if you managed to get out of the room before I could get to you, then I wouldn’t have to do anything nasty.”

“What if we found a way to kill you first?” Lefty replied.

There was a pause before the answer, “Well I don’t think that’s very nice, do you?”

“Fair is fair,” Lefty said from behind Calista’s cloak. “If you’re trying to kill us, then we’re trying to kill you.”

“I never said that I was trying to kill you, only that I was supposed to kill any intruders who happened upon this room.”

“Well, are you going to try or not?” Lefty asked.

“I haven’t decided yet.” the voice grumbled.

“Well, I suggest you figure it out because I’m getting the strong inclination of throwing out a few fireballs and seeing what happens,” Lefty said.

“Go right ahead. I’m immune to fire.” said the voice.

“I’ll cast lightning bolt then.”

“Immune to that too.”

“Ice storm.”

“Heavy resistance. You might get a few points past it, but I’d hardly feel a tickle.”

“What about acid.”

The voice yawned. “Boring. Name an acid spell that does more than twenty points of damage in a round.”

“I’ll aim it at your eyes.”

“I don’t have any.”

“Then how can you see us?”

“Echolocation. So don’t think for a second that I don’t know where you are. I can smell the magic on you too. There’s quite a lot of it, but not nearly enough to kill me.”

It was quiet in the room as Calista turned to Lefty and saw he was even more troubled than he had been when she had first turned on her light.

“I think we should try another tact,” the mage whispered.

Calista made a show of sheathing her sword. “Do you have a name?”

“Robert.”

She did her best to smile. “Robert, that’s a nice name.”