Soon after Abby returned with the ale, they all got around to introducing themselves. Since Thalias had already asked, she started by explaining she was a Delver, the same class she had specialized in before. “They also gave me some sort of dark background where my father killed my mother and then himself and that I may or may not be wanted for something back at Yandmouth.” She turned to Thalias, “What about you?”

“I’m a bard who failed out of wizard college who still likes to tell people he’s a wizard, even though as a bard I can only cast two spells,” he replied. “I wasn’t given much of an option on class. It was either bard or cleric and I didn’t have the stats for a good cleric, so here I am with maybe the weakest class in the game.”

Calista nodded asshe looked at the dwarf. “And what about you?”

“Ah … I … ah …” Grumner stuttered.

Thalias sighed, “He gave himself social anxiety in exchange for better stats.”

“Okay …” she aimed herself at the dwarf. “But you can talk, right?”

“Er …” the dwarf looked around awkwardly. “… I’m a ranger and I don’t like talking to people, which is also why I’m a ranger.”

“Alright, and what about the pin cushion over here?” She nodded at Dogmoore. The burly man’s jewlery made a sound as he laughed.

Thalias cut in, “Dogmoore can’t speak. Beyond his name, that’s about as far as we’ve gotten with him. We think he traded his ability to speak for more stats.”

“Okay,” Calista thought about this for a moment. “None of you guys are joke characters, are you?”

“What’s a joke character?” Grumner asked.

Great. Just great. Calista scratched her head as she tried to think of a way of explaining this. “Well, when I was talking with the Attendant, she said that there were certain players here who had been selected just because they were funny.”

Thalias shrugged, “I can be funny. I mean, that’s what bards do, right?”

“That’s not what I’m asking,” Calista explained. “I’m asking if the Attendant told any of you that you were selected as joke characters?”

“What do you mean selected?” asked Grumner.

Calista took a careful drink of her ale before she continued. “I mean that the Attendant explained to me that some players were selected purely on their entertainment value regarding how stupid and funny their characters were.”

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“Oh,” Thalias laughed. “Yeah, she said something about how I was selected by a focus group that specialized in picking out the characters with the most comedic value or something.”

“Yeah, me too,” Grumner added.

In response, Dogmoore slowly raised his hand.

“You too?” Calista asked.

The big, bare chested man nodded.

This can’t be good. She took another worried drink of her ale.

Thalias leaned in. “Why? What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” she said as she looked out the window. Outside, the rain was still coming down and night had set in. A pair of townsfolk walked by with torches and spears. As they passed, a bolt of lightning lit up the sky as a roll of thunder followed. If this is some sort of dramatic storyboard, I don’t like where this is headed.

“Ah,” Thalias replied, “well in case it wasn’t apparent, the three of us here hardly know each other any more than you do. We all just arrived here shortly before you did and so all we really know is that we’re here together on Wraath and that we’re in a town called Southwood which is somewhere in Sommerdale and that the mayor here has asked that every able bodied adventurer help them deal with the goblin problem straight away.”

Calista was surprised, “And just what does the mayor think a bunch of level one characters can do against that many goblins?”

The half-elf sighed, “I don’t know, but it seems the town has an almost holy reverence for adventurers. We spent some time talking to the locals and it seems like everyone in this town has a story of how some wandering adventurer changed their life.”

Of course they do. It’s a game world and the people living here are like NPCs where they give out quests and rewards and they all think we’re really powerful people because we run around with magic weapons and cast spells and fight dragons. But I just got here and I’m surrounded by a bunch of guys saddled with joke characters and we’re probably all going to die because the Attendant indicated joke characters were meant to be killed. She looked again out the window as another round of thunder rumbled in response. Does it do that every time I look out the window? She turned away and looked out the window again. Again, a crack of thunder sounded in response. That’s not helping. I’m going to stop looking out the window.

Finally, she asked, “What does he think we’re going to do about that goblins?”

“We’re not sure yet,” Thalias replied.

Grumner grunted as Dogmoore silently laughed. Calista, however, did not feel as though this were a joking matter. “Look,” she said, “I just came down from the mountains where I was about to be executed at this fortress.”

“You mean Reave, right?” Grumner asked. “That’s the one ruled by the lich lord.”

“It is,” replied Calista. “At least, it was until about mid-day when a black dragon led a whole horde of goblins on the place and took it over.”

Thalias shook his head. “I arrived two days ago. Linked up with a couple other guys. Fighters. We didn’t have time to get to know each other well as we spent most of the first night evading a pack of wolves. By morning we reached a village where we thought we might be safe, but about an hour after we arrived it was raided by a whole troop of goblins. We tried to fight, but there were just too many. I lost the others and only lived because I leapt off a waterfall and washed up on the opposite shore. I took me all of today to find this place.”

“What village was that?” Calista asked.

“Harva.”

“I just came from Harva,” she said. “It was burned to the ground.”

Thalias nodded, “Been a lot of that lately.”

Dogmoore grunted as Grumner stared at his ale.

Thalias looked around the room to make sure no one else was listening and then to Grumner. “You’re a ranger, right?”

“I am,” Grumner replied.

“That means you have wilderness survival, tracking, and navigation skills, right?” Thalias asked.

Grumner grunted, “It does.”

Thalias nodded toward the door. “Well I say we see if we can find a map, find out what river this is, and follow it to the coast where we find the nearest city. If we’re in Sommerdale, that means this river is probably the Sayle. If it is, that should lead us straight to Yandmouth where it should be safe. At least safer than it is here.”

Dogmoore gave another silent laugh as Grumner chuckled. “You’re saying we should just run?”

“I am,” said Thalias.

Calista found herself looking out the window again. This time, there was no thunder. “You guys, I don’t …”

The words froze in her throat as she spotted something flickering in the glass. Fire, she thought as she spun to look out the adjacent window where she could see the orange flames shimmering against the river.

She jumped out of her seat, ran out the door and around the corner of the tavern. Through the trees, she could see the blaze standing out against the night as tiny figures armed with swords and spears dashed this way and that. Goblins, she realized and ripped her sword free.