I was dragged to jail. Beaten, humiliated, tortured, etc, etc, etc. I'm not even taking in the sensory input. I'm absorbed in thought. I need to decypher Helen's body language. It would be easy if I could make Shraaizar and Mittens connect us to a chat by proxy, but they are out of range. I can see Marcy and Zahariel arrows pointing east to the Syrup meadow. I can also see Helen's arrow pointing to the lord's estate. None of them took damage, none of them has any abnormal status.
Me? I've been grinding my skills for three days straight. I'm waiting for some signal from Helen, but it didn't come yet.
I won't complain about how I wasn't able to get the 'desperate mage' title even though I tried and tried to cast with 0 MP because they are drugging me with almost a gallon of chytheria every day.
Big status block:
Skill Water Mastery level 8 Skill Air Mastery level 6 Skill Fire Resistance level 7 Skill Pain Resistance level 10 Skill Sleep Resistance level 8 Skill Max HP Increase level 10 Skill Super Regeneration level 8 Skill Damage Resistance level 10 Skill Stamina Recovery level 10 Skill Max Stamina Increase level 10 Skill MP Depletion Resistance level 9 Skill Confusion Resistance level 6 Skill Appraisal Resistance level 9 Skill Steel Bones level 8 Skill Willpower level 7 Skill MP Recovery level 10 Skill Max MP Increase level 10 Skill Disease Resistance level 6
Skill Complaining level 8.
Technique {Irritating Banter} learned.
Allows one to complain so hard that the Stamina (ST) of those within hearing range is drained. Does not trigger combat. Resisted by Agility.
How long does Helen expect me to wait? In one and half more days the humanization skill effect ends.
These royal guard torturers, they are the crème de la crème regarding torture. Of course, they never tortured something like me. If you look at the block of status messages I got once the chytheria extract they made me drink by the buckets weakened a bit, you can imagine what I've been through.
"Fucking shit, man. This guy is really immortal!"
"I told you. He is the 'Immortal Loincloth Maniac' everyone up north in Ascot Kingdom are talking on how they wanted to torture him. He spent an entire night being stabbed in the heart by the Heartseeker Blade. He bled so much the courtyard had to be dug up and replaced."
"And is it my impression or he is really getting even harder to hurt? I can't break his fingers anymore even with these steel pliers."
"We waterboarded him for an entire night. He doesn't drown. We stuffed his mouth with sawdust and wrapped pelts around his head. He doesn't choke. Even if he is burned or cut his flesh just grows back. We cut off his toes, they grow back. Heck, I have seven of his eyeballs and enough teeth I could make a necklace."
"Let's behead the fucker! I bet his head doesn't grow back."
"You idiot. The Lord said he wants this one alive. We can torture him all we want, but we can't kill him."
And to boot, really soon I am turning back to a troll. Unless I kill and eat one of these guys to get a humanization extension. Just a nibble. Eww. Not yet, though. Leaving these soon-to-be-dead idiots aside, what was the deal with Helen's body language? She was obviously timid and uncomfortable. She had time to change into that dress. They were dragging Mercy away when we arrived, there was plenty of time to do it before we got there. It was a show. The wagon was almost empty. They wanted us to see Mercy being dragged. I bet they had those archers ready on the rooftops to nail us down once we reacted to Mercy being dragged away. Helen looked relieved when Marcy and Zahariel went away.
'This is not the time to fight.' She said to me. When then?
I think I need to find Mercy and get her out of here before I can act.
The torturers got bored of me and dumped me back in my cell. Man, this jail sucks. I can't believe I let my precious Helen rot in a place like this. Fuck waiting. Time to find Mercy.
"Ahhh, this is so bad my back hurts! {Irritating Banter}!" ~ "Oh, boy how I want a steak! I haven't eaten meat in ages! {Irritating Banter}!" I also begin to activate shape change.
The guard comes, spits, and bashes the door "Shut up or you'll bleed, you maggot!"
"My, my, I paid my taxes why must I be stuck with an idiot for a guard! [Taunt]! {Irritating Banter}!"
The door opens. "Now you've done it, bastard! Get ready to bleed nicely! Hero of my Ass!"
The guard draws his sword and comes at me. Shapechange, giant squid. I just need to touch some skin.
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He hacks at my tentacle. The sword cuts but doesn't sever. I think [tough skin] works for squids. I made contact. Possession!
Skill Possession level 8. {Friendly Host} learned. If possessing a conscious and voluntary target, upkeep cost is minimum, and status boost increased to
Freaking stockade guard is a fleabag. "Immolation Aura!" Fwooosh, bye fleas. He is a warrior level 10, small fry. His magic stat sucks so much I could stay inside his body forever. But it is more disgusting than Cloude.
I swing the sword at some straw I was using as bedding before going out and slam the door. "Now you will learn some respect, bastard!" And spit.
When I go up the stairs, before the locked cast iron trapdoor another guard calls me, "Carl, I can't believe you got that shitty hero to shut up!"
"Bastard bleed a gallon of blood before he quit. Now open the trapdoor for fuck's sake." And spit.
"Fuck, Carl, stop spitting everywhere. It's disgusting."
"Say, where is the woman? The redhead with big boobs?"
"Carl, you are going to get yourself in trouble. Only the captain can choose who gets to taste her. Orders of the lord."
"Like I care. I'll just rub one looking at her. It is better than thinking of your face. Maybe squirt on the ladder so you can feel my love as you descend!"
"Backoff, you weirdo! She is in block three. The new one."
"Thanks, dude. Wanna make out? Open this shit of a trapdoor and let's tongue fight."
"You are disgusting, Carl. At least bathe once every season. And how did you get all burnt like this? What the fuck happened?"
I think I need to grind some levels for Carl's sake. He is too flimsy. Party invite, carl. I can accept too. I'll grind the hell of the Exp out of these guards. Title set, man-eater.
Title Man Eater
Those that are considered people and committed the taboo of eating several people.
Grants 50% more Exp from killed people. (set: +100%)
If a piece of a freshly killed human corpse is eaten, earns again as much Exp as the full kill. (set: twice as much)
Carl has joined your party.
Join and leave messages are broadcast to the entire party. They will beshown to Helen, Marcy, and Zahariel. They will know I am up to something.
The other guard shouts from deeper inside the building, "Open the damn trapdoor and let me get some air. We need to vent Carl's stench. I swear you are learning that complain skill from the hero."
"Here you go. If shit comes your way, don't mention me."
"Hey, dude, what is your level?"
"Fifteen, why?"
"Just to know how much Exp you yield." Stab and spit.
Carl has gained 2 levels. Beowulf (3-Monster Tamer) has gained 2+1 levels. + 18 SP Skill Sword Mastery level 2. Skill Assassinate level 2.
I stash the fresh body in the item box before it makes too much noise and me-Carl crawl out of the stockade hole. There are seven guards here. None of them is wearing armor. This seems like their resting place. There are bunk beds and some other trapdoors leading down to the other cell blocks, I think.
"Hey fellas. How are ye doing today? Where are the other guys?"
Some guy that looks like an officer comes. "Fuck Carl. Your turn is not over. Go back down there."
"No way I am listening to that fucking hero's whining a moment more. But Peter has something in his neck. Care to take a look, sir?"
"Who is Peter?"
"It is some filthy bastard that is down there. I think it is better if you go there and look." And spit.
"Carl, stop spitting everywhere. Fine, I'll go."
The officer descends the stairs, and I slowly draw Carl's sword.
"Where is this Peter dude?"
"I don't know."
Carl has gained 6 levels. Beowulf (3-Monster Tamer) has gained 5+3 levels. + 50 SP Skill Assassinate level 3.
I think this guy was a 4th tier job. I'll dump all of Carl's skill points in the armor skill.
I turn around, the other guards are already with weapons drawn.
"What the fuck Carl! Why did you kill the lieutenant."
"Because he was a dick! And it is your turn now. Static Field!"
One of the guards resisted my area paralysis spell. Have at him.
He swings his sword, I parry and begin chanting.
"The heck, Carl. Since when you can use magic?"
"Since I possessed him a few minutes ago. {Flash Freeze}!"
And six necks were opened. Seven bodies in the item box.
I open trapdoor #2. Two guards in banded armor just like Carl are sitting below the stairs.
"Hey, is this block three?"
"No, Carl, you retarded. Can't you even count? Block one is where the hero is, this is the next one, what number is that, moron? What do you want?"
"I think something I ate was bad. I'm about to... {Acid Breath}!"
Carl has gained 6 levels. Beowulf (3-Monster Tamer) has gained 4+3 levels. + 44 SP Skill Acid Breath level 6. Skill Lightning Magic level 5. {Lightning Bolt} learned. Skill Sword Mastery level 3. Skill Assassinate level 4.
Trapdoor three.
"Hello!"
"Hey, Carl. This place is off-limits. You know you can't get here."
"Dude, I found this cool spear. I think it is made of a monster's horn. Wanna take a look?"
"There was some noise upstairs and you are not in your station. What is happening up there? Report now, soldier!"
"Lieutenant and the guys went down block one to kick the hero's face. It is really refreshing, he can't whine with a broken jaw and it grows back right away. Wanna join in? I'll watch here for you."
"What is up with the spear and the lieutenant?"
"I don't know, I'm just the messenger, you know? They don't want me there, they say I stink. Oh, right. The guys are making a betting pool on how many teeth one can break out of the hero's mouth. The pool is already at seven silver coins. Go now, dude. I'll cover you."
One of the guards wants to go, the other doesn't want trouble his way. "Let the kid go, what is the matter. It is boring to death in this shithole." And spit. Oops, in the face.
"Go to hell, Carl!"
"I'd rather shake your mommy's hips [Taunt]!"
"Now you've done it!"
The guy starts to climb the ladder, I slam the iron trapdoor on his head. He falls back to the bottom with a thump.
I ready the horn spear. The trapdoor opens, a head pokes out. Stab.
Twist and pull the body out. The guy that took the trapdoor on the head was saved by his helmet.
"Carl, what are you doing?"
"You should've obeyed Lieutenant and gone there to bet on the hero's teeth! I told you."
"I'll kill you, bastard."
The other guard is climbing up. I use shadow stealth to hide in the shadow of the open trapdoor.
"Where are you, Carl?"
Stab. No need to spit, there are no more witnesses. Presence detection shows only one person inside block three.
Carl has gained 1 level. Beowulf (3-Monster Tamer) has gained 1+1 levels. + 12 SP Congratulations! You've reached your job level cap. Skill Assassinate level 5.
Job Cap, GET! Next one should be...
Pull the body out of the hole, item box for everyone and their stuff, and down to cell block three we go.
I hope mother-in-law is fine. If she is not, the carnage in this prison guardroom will look like a children's prank.