‹Rin›

Thinking back to it even as a child, I didn't really see a reason why we had to move to a new place, but all I knew that it was clear that what I saw from my parents back then was the sheer anxiety on their faces. For some reason, that memory stuck with me, but even as I grew up, I still don't know what was behind it.

Still, I said goodbye to the place I first called home and we moved to the neighboring Sector 527. Slowly, I started to see the distress on my parents' face less as we built a strong connection with a neighbor family.

Even so, I believe that I grew up in a normal family with my parents and my older sister.

I don't know how exactly it started, but I slowly befriended a child my age that was, frankly, strange and scary. He did not go to school, I never heard him talk for a long while, and even when I was scared of him, it felt like he was always frightened of everything, every time I saw him.

But there was something special with seeing him finally smile and cry. His grandfather had changed him to be happier. The frightened look on his face gradually faded, and he started talking more. Before I even realized it, I began watching him in a way that I wanted to support him.

The second time I saw him cry… it was heart wrenching. In his grandfather's wake, I couldn't bear seeing him cry with unimaginable sorrow. I could hear him cry for hours, even much more than his parents did.

The scene had told me how human he was, but after that, it felt as if he changed dramatically. It was like his eyes were always staring in a blank space, and his face was devoid of emotion.

The more I talked to him, the more I learned that he had a generally negative outlook. Despite that, he didn't reject my company.

Many years passed, and what felt like a turning point in our friendship was the time I helped him find his interests and hobbies. It was surprisingly easy as he immediately gained interest with the things I like. Suddenly, we started talking more. He smiled, he laughed, and he joked. It felt like I achieved something, and the times I spent with him became special.

I started to take notice of Gin more. When we finally went to high school together, his voice suddenly started getting deeper way more than the other boys. I realized that I somehow began looking up at him as he grew taller than me, but I never let him live a day without telling him that we only had a three-centimeter difference as I also had a growth spurt.

Somehow the always lonely Gin got friends, but more than anything, I empathized with him every time I see him at his desk all alone at exhausted from talking with others.

I would say that Gin was at fault that I was in the same boat with my sociability. Apart from Nagi, Jean, and Akira, I never really found a girl friend that I could really vibe with. But because of Shiro transferring to our school and finding out that we had similar interests, I immediately hit it off with the ponytail beauty.

For some reason, we've always found ourselves next to each other on our seats in school, but all of a sudden, he stopped attending.

All I heard of from his parents was that he would be absent for a few days. But even I never heard from him at all. I walked alone to and from school, and worried about having no news of him day after day.

To set aside my worries even for a moment, I pulled my friends to the school's rooftop because of a late sunrise. As we were just idly talking to ourselves, a voice spoke from behind and towered each and every one of us.

I couldn't be mistaken. Shiro and the others did not realize it, but I've known Gin for so long that I could immediately recognize him even after his appearance had somehow drastically changed. He became so tall, his arms were muscular, his face became gentler yet more pronounced, but most importantly, his smile did not feel forced.

It almost didn't feel real seeing how much he had changed in just a few days. It was like he was a different person, but he was still the same Gin I knew. Still, while he may be the same Gin, something about him was inherently different. He became more approachable, reliable, stronger, and he showed more emotion all the while he is still being socially awkward.

Outside the school, it felt like he was enjoying every single second of it after he returned.

Then, he suddenly moved in to the house next door to us. For some reason, he seemed very excited, and that very excitement had pulled me in to help move his things to a house that feels too large for one person.

At the first night in his house, I learned that his room had a completely adjacent window to mine. As childish as it sounded, it felt like a secret meeting place that only we had for each other.

At one time we did shopping together and stopped a restaurant we frequent, which is Giotto's, it very much seemed like Gin was acquainted with the head chef, and even helped out for a bit when they were in a pinch. Eventually, it was to my surprise to learn that he somehow became their sous chef. I always joked in the past how Gin couldn't do anything past a fried rice, but he returned from the week he was away with skills that I or even my mom wouldn't hold a candle to.

Coming to his house had eventually became a habit, and ever since Anna moved back after living with relatives for a few years, he had looks of suspicion every time she would see us together. I didn't really pay it mind as all those times I've always thought it was just my way to give Gin some support in his lonely stay in his new home.

All that being said, I started having some weird thoughts. It was no denying that Gin had very much become a better person. Before I knew it, he had already made new friends outside the school, learned new skills, wisdom, and got himself a job. Suddenly, it felt like Gin was on his way to adulthood when our circle is just living on a plane accurate to our age while he is now thinking about complicated things that he really should have been minding a few years into the future.

I talked big about always wanting to support him and help lessen his loneliness, but in the end, I was the one that became lonely, as it looked like he was going on ahead of us.

~ ~ ~

One time Shiro and I went to hang out, she announced something I did not expect.

"There's actually something I want to tell you, Ringo…"

Her eyes darted, she could not stop fidgeting, and her lips trembled from holding a smile. Somehow, it was like I saw an image of a fawning maiden in her.

"The thing is… Nagi and I started dating…"

"Huh? Come again?"

It never occurred to me that something like that would happen between them. I have never seen a time where they showed interest at each other. Other than being friends, they were indifferent. It goes without saying that I was very much surprised, and then happy for her.

"W-Wow… congratulations. But we're not leaving until you tell me the full story!"

"Ehh, I don't want to…"

"No, you're going to spill everything.

But anyway, have you told anyone at the club?"

"Not yet. You're the first one I told about it. I don't know about Nagi, though. We never really talked about keeping it a secret."

"Well… I'm rooting for you two, then."

"I could say the same to you and Gin, you know?"

"You mean…?"

"Come on… you're always together, and you are childhood friends. It's just a matter of time, don't you think?"

"Who knows, really?" I just shrugged.

"What's with the lukewarm answer so suddenly… At least take this a little seriously!"

"I am, I am. Ahahaha…"

A little seriously, she said…

Which was why I asked myself, "It is fine to be a little selfish, right?"

It was all but one moment of building up the courage to step further than my wish to give my support to when he needs it, and what grew in me was simply just wanting to be with him.

With just the cold touch of a literal key, I became so overjoyed. I told myself that I would gradually build up from what we already had, but with the sheer happiness I felt the push to just close the gap between us.

Not knowing how long I've had Gin around my arms, in the rhythm of my heart going wild, I realized that I just don't want to be a childhood friend to him.

With a newly found "power", I decided to join him in meals when it was our days off from school. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't extremely anxious when I presented that I would make the food for the two of us, but a huge relief had soothed me after seeing that Gin was no longer the person that was very cautious of food the he did not trust. Still, it was saddening that he used to not trust the food I made, but I am glad that it is now behind him.

Suddenly I felt so light knowing my feelings and acting upon them, and with Gin seemingly not minding it.

Even so, amidst the growing closeness between us, it wasn't all bright.

"Is something wrong, Gin?"

"No, well… I'm just thinking about things…"

A few times, I would see Gin with a sour and very serious look on his face. Before we graduated from junior high school, Gin one day came home with his arms wrapped in bandage after getting into a small accident. His injuries seemed to heal quickly, but there would be days where something heavy is in mind.

"You know, if there's anything I could help with, I'm just here. Or maybe I can just hear you out if that would make you at ease.

This isn't the first time this happened. You'd be staring at blank space while you have a really serious look on your face.

Gin, I hope you won't keep things to yourself, especially if it's something I can help with."

"I… I'm really sorry, Ringo… but I really can't tell you."

He would look at me for a mere moment, and he would say those words while his expression turns depressed, as though there was a feeling of guilt to it.

Any attempt of me asking about it led to nothing while it seems he is keeping something in him.

It made me upset, but there was no reason for me to show displease as I was in no place to keep poking around his own private life. After all, I was just a childhood friend.

Regardless, it didn't mean that it we would grow apart from something like that. There were many times in our senior high school days where I question what exactly our relationship is. It was clear to me that he enjoyed my company, and I felt the same.

But what made everything clearest to me was when I saw Gin saving me from getting hit by a truck. When I woke after passing out from the shock, the first thing I saw was the same saddened face I have seen when he refrains telling me anything, and then the extreme relief after seeing me awake.

I fully came to when he gave me a tight embrace as he trembled and cried. I had not seen it in so long, but it almost felt like I was looking at the frightened child that he was. After that incident, I would sometimes catch him being overprotective. He would also be welcome to some degree of skinship, which I did not disagree with.

The more intimate demeanor that he had shown me only led me to be almost certain that Gin shared the same feelings.

I thought about things and surmised that there was a reason why our relationship is advancing while at the same time not. I had seen it again and again, but every time Gin apologized to me for keeping things, he would look at me with guilt in his eyes. But the only thing I did not know were his reasons.

Despite realizing that he clearly has been keeping some secrets, I was hopeful every time I remember the looks of endearment that we gave each other. I couldn't give up with him, and I continued to love him.

▪ ▪ ▪

The two of us passed the admission exams for Cotona Culinary Institute, or CCI for short.

We successfully graduated from high school, and in our long summer break before entering college, we would find ourselves thinking about what we will do in the future in the cold air from the air conditioner and sitting dumbfounded in Gin's living room.

"You're really sure on what department you will go into, right, Ringo?"

"You've asked me that for the seventh time now."

"Wow, you're keeping count."

"That said… I really never heard about you aside from us both passing our exam. Are you even going to college, Gin?"

"I am, I am… but it's probably not going to be as long as you think."

"What do you mean?"

"I'll be taking an associate degree in culinary science."

"Just two years?"

"After I graduate from that, I'm going back to work full-time in Giotto's while applying in the business what I can learn from practical research."

"That means you'll also be in Division 1?"

"I guess? Even if I'm just taking the associate program, it's still comprehensive enough to be in Division 1."

"Why not Culinary Arts, though. I think it's way more in line with your work and you can take it with me," sometimes, I would find myself with some selfish rationale.

"What? You're going to miss me?"

"I wouldn't say no. We've always been glued together for so long."

"…

But I've already had two years of work experience under my belt and I trained as I went in Giotto's. I want to learn more on what goes behind the food we make and it might help in making our food better in the resto. I don't really need good grades since immediate practical application is my priority.

And if anything, you're probably the one going to benefit from it the most since you go to this house like it's yours."

"Even if we'll be in different departments, I could say the same for you~

But I guess we'll still have some of the same lectures and maybe lab courses too."

"We'll just have to do our best…"

"But is that all you'll do after you graduate?"

"Not like there's anything much I have apart from Giotto's and our TAC."

"I mean… this house feels empty for just one person… Mhm, yeah…"

Gin went silent for a full minute, and the only response he could make was:

"I haven't really thought about anything besides the two I just mentioned."

Something like that vague hinting from me was not a rare occurrence. What was weird was that Gin's never put off by it, but he would not advance the topic any further.

While there is nothing verbal that proves it, I have pretty much ascertained that Gin and I share the same feelings, and that he knows it too. But for some reason, there is some invisible wall that is preventing us from going beyond our complicated relationship.

As patient as I want to be, there is only so much that I can take without completely resolving our matters.

Nevertheless, we entered college having finalized that I would be on the Culinary Arts department and Gin indeed followed through his plans. Because of the years I spent in Principal Juushiro's special senior high school curriculum, it was surprising to see that our first semester became somewhat easier because of it, and I shared the sentiment with Gin and Rena, who I befriended in high school after I found out that she already has her own family, and it just so happened that his husband is an instructor in this very school.

Outside of it, however, we learned that Anna had apparently became friends with Sora Kagurazaka, which is probably the richest teenager in all of the country. She invited us to a dinner party assuming that it was to Anna's request… but everything went sideways as an assassination attempt was made, but neutralized by people that seemed to be undercover.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

Something I noticed in the middle of the incident unfolding was that rather than unsurprised, it felt like Gin and Akira was prepared for something like this. Immediately as the commotion started, the two of them told us to take cover from the coats and blazers they were wearing for the gathering. I wondered what was the point of it, when no one denied that we would have died at that moment from the rain of bullets from the attackers… but we fled safely and unscathed.

It was as if the clothes they were wearing acted as a shield for us, and I became certain of it after finding a deformed bullet caught on the folds of Gin's coat.

Two years ago, I thought I was watching a publicity stunt on TV. Several people in the Cotona Square gathered with black coats and faceless white masks. It was like an action movie where Senator Joseph Horach was involved with, but right at that moment, he confessed of crimes and countless murders that he had done. At first, we thought it was fake. We thought it was like an action movie filled with CGI as bullets just bounced off from the masked people. But news later reported that the senator was arrested and would then be sentenced to life imprisonment in the most secure prison of the country for committing countless severe crimes that suddenly surfaced.

Since that day, there were still no proof whether those "Exiles" as they introduced themselves as were real or not. But in that party, I witnessed something that closely resembled that incident.

I started having crazy assumptions. I was aware that Gin had secrets he couldn't tell. I started thinking that perhaps those very secrets were related to the mystery I witnessed. Gin never spoke about that gathering afterwards. He continued on his studies and work as if nothing happened, and we eventually moved up to our sophomore year.

I held out for so long… but I just couldn't bear the thought anymore that the man I loved so dearly could be put into danger at any moment.

Perhaps I should have confronted Gin way sooner, but I finally took the courage and finally faced him.

Unannounced, I twisted the key of Gin's front door.

"Gin. Can we talk in private?"

"Uh, we're just the only ones in this house, though."

"I vaguely remember you telling me that the rooms upstairs can be soundproof. I don't want anyone hearing what I want to talk about with you…

And honestly, even I don't know if I'll get mad to the point that I might just raise my voice.

Gin, I can't keep waiting anymore. We really… really need talk. Right now."

In the adjacent room on the second floor of the house, we found ourselves alone where the door and the windows are completely shut. As deafening the silence might be, I faced Gin who was wearing the same face of guilt and sadness he had always shown me.

"I don't think I really need to say this at this point, but I truly love you, Gin. And please, I just want to hear if you feel the same. I want you to be honest with me… otherwise I would just take it that all this time you were just putting an act in front of me."

"…

I… I do love you too, Ringo, but-"

"But there are reasons why you don't want to put a name on what we have, is that right? And that you don't want to tell why, right?"

As if I hit the mark, Gin could not answer at all.

Then, I tossed at him the bullet I had kept with myself all this time.

"This is…"

"That was from the Kagurazaka gathering we attended. I found it caught in your coat that basically saved all of our lives that night. Was that right?"

"…"

"Tell me, Gin… Are you involved with whatever the Exiles are? You've always been hiding something from me, but did you really think I wouldn't worry if something dangerous happens to you?

Were you there in the Cotona Square? Were you one of them? Was that why you suddenly came home with your arms injured? If so, didn't you almost die from a bomb?!

What the hell were you doing with those people?! Don't tell me they brainwashed you like it's some form of a cult?!"

"You think you know them, Ringo?! So you're just going to spout your assumptions without anything to prove it?"

"Then prove me wrong right here, right now!! I am so tired of you always deliberately dodging my questions like I'm some sort of an idiot who would just go with it… I thought we had something special between us… I've always tried to support you… but will it just end up that I'm simply a stranger to you and it's none of my business?!"

"It's not something that's so simple…

The reason I can't tell anything and everything is that even if you don't know about it, it involves you…!!!"

(!)

Many years have passed, but it suddenly felt like I was facing the Gin of the past. I was incredibly frightened hearing the growl that came out of him. But more than anything… it was baffling to hear that the secrets I fussed over and never gave up on turned out to have something to do with me.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you…" he mustered as hr choked on his voice and wiped his tears away.

"The very reason… why I can't pursue a relationship with you… is because I'm very insincere. I don't… want to be with you when I had so many things I couldn't tell you. I feel that I'm just going to betray your trust in me, so I avoided it every time it comes up."

"Which is wrong, Gin! Do you know how much I want to be with you but I'm being held back by something I don't even know?! What's stopping you, Gin?!"

"I don't want to hurt you…"

"Look at my face, Gin…! Does it look like I'm not hurting right now?! You talk as if I'm not losing my trust on you but I already am! If you really didn't want me to worry about it and turn into a mess, then you shouldn't have hinted about anything in the first place!

It's clear to me that you're also hurting all these years so I want to help you, but you didn't want any of it and bottled up everything.

I'm too far down in this because of you… If I'm going to get hurt, then so be it… I just want to know what's making you suffer ever since we first met…"

"…

Do you… Do you really want to know…?"

"Don't make me repeat myself. Even after all of this… I still don't want to lose you."

He felt restless all of a sudden. His breathing had gotten short and he couldn't stop pacing around the room for at least a few minutes. But after he finally caught his breath, he finally looked me in my eyes.

"Please call Sis and Hiro for me. I'm going to bring your parents here. Even I have uncertainties that I have been keeping in me for some years now… and I also want to get my answers from it."

I couldn't understand why my entire family needed to be present when Gin tells us the truth. Even my parents were confused, but Hiro-nii and my sister arrived as if they knew what was going on.

In the very same room, we all gathered there. Hiro-nii immediately sat beside him and patted Gin's trembling, hunched back.

"First of all… I'm very sorry for gathering all of you here. Especially for Hiro and Sis when it's busy at work."

"Stop worrying about that, Gin. The least I can do is to be at your side… after you finally decided to tell us."

"Really… I'm very sorry, Hiro. Even I have things I haven't told you yet?"

"Huh…?" suddenly, the expectant look on Hiro-nii's face was gone.

"I want to start by saying that I'm very sorry for keeping many things from all of you.

One thing that Hiro and Sis already knew is that I am an Exile, and so is Hiro. Sis knew full well that she married an Exile… because her husband decided to tell her everything… so that he wouldn't betray the Sis' trust in him. We were part of the masked people that confronted Horach at Cotona Square, together with Principal Juushiro and Ken, my and Ringo's classmate that supposedly died when we were fourth years. After that, Akira also joined us.

I know many things are unknown about the Exiles. I want to tell you about them, but what I can say right now is that they are all genuinely good people that simply drew the short end of the stick… just like me.

I was also… the person that was fatally hit by a truck in Queen Street three years ago."

All of a sudden, things felt like they're going too fast that I couldn't wrap my head around them. Gin finally confirmed that he was one of the mysterious people known as the Exiles. But now he suddenly revealed that he was the minor that was caught in the crash in Queen Street, which was difficult not to doubt.

Because if he really was the same person, then Gin would have died back then.

"It wasn't complicated to align the things that happened then. It was reported that the victim was taken by an ambulance, but nothing beyond that has been known. At the same day, I didn't come home… because it was Hiro that saved my life that day."

Stated: Gin suffered from fatal fractures where his bones were in the state of being beyond repair, and his survival chance was low, and even if he did, he would be on a vegetative state. But he is here, right in front us with no signs of what he was telling us.

As if the story couldn't get unreal, he told us that he stayed in a place where time flows faster than in the outside world for two years that was equivalent to five days on the outside. It was almost hard to believe until I put things together where he returned after a week from suddenly disappearing, and that he somehow physically grew in a very short time. Because of that, his physical abilities were apparently enhanced, which would explain the accounts when I was almost hit by a truck where he stopped it with only his foot.

"I wish that was everything that I wanted to tell you, but…

Hiro, you and Sean are practically Tenth's sons before Akira was born. Did he tell you what happened to him when he was a child?"

"I see even he has also told you about the Medical Children Program from a few decades ago…"

Holding my hand, my mother's grip tightened and trembled to the point that it hurt. But just when I was about to point it out, both of my parents' expressions have turned horribly grim.

"H-Hiro… what did you just say…?" Dad asked.

"It was… a top-secret program more than 30 years ago when children were used as live subjects to create a cure for a certain disease back then."

Hearing that, the fear that I could feel from my parents only grew stronger.

"When I was a child… I used to have very spotty memories, but all I could remember was that I was also a Medical Child just like him. But at some point, I recovered them, and I realized how important those memories were, however painful it was."

"No way… You're telling me they didn't stop doing that inhumane act…?"

"I wish I was lying, Hiro.

But in the span of one whole year, I was the only one that came out of it alive. Well… Ken Ichikawa also survived, but he successfully escaped. I really… don't want to tell you all what I suffered there, but that was the reason why I was ruined since early as a child.

If I was really mature about this, I should have mentioned this sooner… but I decided to keep it to myself and didn't talk about it with you two, Uncle Shuu, Aunt Sumi…

I'm sincerely hoping that I was wrong with my assumptions… but it seems like you two know something about the code number 019."

My mother suddenly fainted while Dad broke into tears and knelt right in front of Gin.

Things escalated more than it already was.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…!!!"

Never in my life have I seen my father broke down to the point that he was prostrating in utter guilt. I've always seen him as an energetic father, but now I could not see a semblance of it.

"I'm sorry… Because of us… you had to go through all that suffering… I didn't know it was really you… We just wanted to protect our daughter… I didn't know this would happen…"

On that day, I realized that there are things that I didn't even know about myself. I thought that I was only kept in the dark from Gin, but it turned out that even my parents were keeping something not just from me, but also from my older sister all this time.

It finally made sense why we had to move somewhere when I was still a child. My parents feared that the so-called Medical Children Program will come with a threat on our family. They apparently learned something they shouldn't have, and was threatened by an agent, but was spared simply by letting them choose a replacement to the program so that I wouldn't be taken into the program conducting live experiments on children.

But in the process… they unknowingly and arbitrarily chose Gin in exchange for my safety, and suffering from unimaginable ways… and even leading him to lose his mind and kill a person.

"Mom… Dad… what the hell did you do?!"

"Please don't blame them, Ringo."

"How can you just say that, Gin?! Shouldn't you at least be mad about this?!"

"Of course I am.

But even I understand that it was a do or die for your parents. They wouldn't choose the life of some stranger in exchange of their child's. This all happened because of things coinciding together.

At least… I think I finally got some closure on the things that was left unanswered for me. Really… I just want a rest from all that has happened to me."

Regardless of what Gin felt about it, I couldn't help but be furious even if they were my parents. But with respect to how forgiving Gin was, I reined myself in.

Still, I was very conflicted. Because of the choice my parents made, I am still alive; but they did not hesitate to choose someone else to get the short end of the stick. It happened that it was Gin who replaced me, and it hurts that both sides of the issue are very much special to me.

There had to be a way to have that prevented, but as I am, I lack the wisdom to even be able to think of a much better solution on a past that already happened.

I was relieved that things were resolved well, but I was in the opinion that it could have been resolved earlier. Now that I have heard Gin's side, however, I couldn't exactly fault him for why he was persistently hesitant.

With things finally calming down, Gin stepped out of his house with my parents to talk to Gin's family while Sis and Hiro-nii had gone home and left matters in the restaurant to Jean.

Meanwhile, I stayed alone in the house with Haku's company. He followed me everywhere I go and comforted me, as though he knew how I was feeling then.

"How did it go…?" upon returning, I immediately asked Gin.

"It went well for the most part… but my mom couldn't contain herself. I'm her son, but she said it was like she nearly lost her brother again because I have his memories."

"…?"

"I'll tell you later about it. There are still things I have to tell you, but they weren't as important to what I told earlier."

"I'm sorry… I'll stop by your parents' house tomorrow to talk to them."

"Don't be sorry.

But… you aren't going home yet? Your parents are worried about you."

"Honestly… I don't even want to go home. I can't see them while I'm still trying to organize my feelings."

"Then I'm thankful that you seem to be fine in here."

"I'm still mad."

"I know…"

"But for now… can I stay the night here?"

"Uhh…"

"And it's not as if all our matters are resolved already."

"C-Can we postpone that to tomorrow, Ringo…?"

"Sorry, but I'm too tired of waiting for that."

"Okay…

Once again, I'm sorry for not telling you anything, and being very vague on our relationship."

"I realized earlier that you took a page from Hiro-nii and how he got together with Sis… but you never acted upon it."

"That hurts… but I need to hear that."

"I learned so many things today. It turns out the world is so bad that it felt like all this time I was looking at it through rose-tinted glasses. All of it is so difficult to take in, but I'm not going to look away from them. Like I said… I'm too far down in this.

But now that I learned so much about you… I can confidently say that I still love you, Gin."

"I'm so glad…"

"Now that everything is over… I suppose there's no reason for you to run away?"

"Ah…"

Gently taking my hands, Gin turned to me and looked me in the eye.

Despite how close we've gotten, I never realized that he had long eyelashes. His eyes were still puffed from crying, but they looked straight at me.

"I'm ashamed that I can't promise that I can be a better man for you… but at least I will promise that I won't keep things to myself anymore, and that I'll protect you no matter what.

I will just ask this one last time…

Are you really alright with being with me, Ringo?"

"I would have left you alone if I wasn't."

"All these years we've been so close together, but it feels weird that I can finally tell you that I love you."

"I love you too, Gin."

The embrace we shared felt different this time. There was nothing vague between us anymore. We could finally declare to ourselves that we are together, that we are lovers.

But then, I released myself from his grasp.

At this point, I've gone to Gin's house so many times that it wasn't uncommon anymore to see me acting like I know the place from corner to corner, which I actually do.

"Ringo…?"

From his fridge, I brought some ice and filled an ice pack with it. Returning into the living room, I stood in front him.

"I'm still mad, you know."

"Um…"

"You at least owe me this one for making me wait for so long."

The ice pack was indeed for a slap. Of course, I felt remorseful for doing it, now that it was just unfair to do that with things finally settled.

Nonetheless, I held out the ice pack to his cheek.

"Did you just do a 'call an ambulance, but not for me', Ringo?"

"I guess I just did."

Our eyes locked again while my hand was still on the ice pack. As if my mind went autopilot, I could only ask one thing.

"Gin, can I kiss you?"

"As the guy, I should be the one asking, but it's too late for that."

Thus, our lips touched. It would really help if I also got an ice pack for myself, but it was just a waste for my face was simply burning up. All we could do was awkwardly smile at each other, and I question if I was really living in the reality now that the barrier between us had pretty much dissolved.

"I'll run the bath for you and I'll get you a change of clothes… though they will probably look big on you."

"Oh, wow. It's like the boyfriend shirt trope, isn't it?"

"Boyfriend, huh…"

"I guess I'll clean the guest room a bit while you do that. And don't go doing something I won't like while I stay here, okay~?"

"Does it look like I have the guts to do something on you especially after all that happened…?

We should probably discuss setting our boundaries tomorrow."

"Thank goodness I chose a man that is sensible," I joked.

"Say… can I call you Rin from now on?"

"Eh? Is that… like a new nickname for me?"

"I guess…? Well, the first time I thought of it was when I was losing my mind, and then I saw your name in the files back then.

But even then, as I child I though of how cute it sounded."

"That took a dark turn suddenly…"

"So… Rin?"

"Gin."

"Rin."

"Gin."

"Pftt… We rhyme now, don't we?"

▪ ▪ ▪

I thought that something significant was going to change between us, but perhaps it was for the better that nothing did. All those times, the only thing stopping us was a mutual confirmation and misaligned opinions that we have finally resolved.

Following the day Gin laid out everything, I stayed at his home for a few days, and even after returning home and patching up things with my parents, it just ended up looking as if I live at that very house with the many times I went there.

Eventually, Gin had organized a meeting with my friends after coinciding our schedules. Gin finally came clean to all of our friends, including things the related to G and how they can share memories.

Then in the fall of our sophomore year, I suddenly learned how it felt like to have the same shared connection with someone. As I reunited from Reina, who has my junior in high school and now even at CCI, I quickly learned that we had so much in common, and that we confirmed the coincidences between us when our consciousness crossed paths.

But in an astonishing turn of events, we learned that Reina's brother, Kuroko, also knew of Gin's memories that would otherwise be completely undisclosed, and called upon us through his script.

Several months quickly passed by and I watched Gin receive his associate diploma. After three years of working in Giotto's he had finally decided to work full-time as he had deemed himself done with his preferred education. On my end, however, my junior year started off difficult. As my department was very much a practical one, I would find myself coming home exhausted, and to the point where I would feel constant pain in my left leg… until I lost feeling on it for a period of time.

I thought that it was the worst of it… until I was diagnosed with a deadly and incurable disease called BEF-1.

It was the end of the line for me, I thought to myself once I descended into despair. It felt like all the things I've done in my life amounted to nothing if that was how I will go, and that I feared the future where I would leave Gin.

But while no one in history had survived it, he believed that there was a way to save me despite not knowing what it could be. From the years of experience that defied what he thought was the reality, he held at hope that something can defy what I thought would be my impending reality.

As if the tables have turned, he was the one giving me support in times where I had to endure physical and psychological pain, but Gin did not stop finding a way. In the most terrifying times where I simply just wanted to give up, he did not run away.

Before my leg started decaying, a thought, or a theory had crossed Gin's mind. Basing on his experience, or inexperience of not having conventional fevers, general aversion to common illnesses, intoxication, and even anything that can be poison to the body, he assumed that he had something in his body providing him immunity.

A virus was then found in his blood that detected the bacteria eating away at me was hostile to it and eradicated it. After several tests, a cure was made and administered to me.

All along I thought that that was it for me, and yet it turned out that the year would end, but not my life as I was free from my disease right at the end of the year.

But in my time of recuperation, Gin received a threat right after Horach escaped from prison. A fool, Gin was not. After careful preparations, any and all threats were intercepted with the help of Exiles and an organization of spies Gin became acquainted with. Horach was recaptured, but he was assassinated in transit back to the prison, which was assumed to be the spies' doing as they follow their own laws and that they would eliminate who they deem a threat.

Come February and I was finally able to walk again. I returned at school to catch up on things that I have missed. I was surprised that I moved up into my graduating year after all that happened, but it was apparently due to my rare illness so long as I reach a certain mark in a very special exam.

I spent my last two semesters in internship where I was graced by the company of a good restaurant that offered me employment immediately even before I could receive my diploma.

And at the night after my graduation… I found myself lying on Gin's lap, with my left hand up in the air, admiring the luster around my ring finger.

"We've only been dating for like two years, and I never expected that you would propose to me…"

"But you said yes, so no take-backsies. Still, we've been together way longer than that. So many things have happened, and I don't want to let go of you anymore."

"Now that I think about it, we never talked about when we started having feelings for each other."

"Huh… In my case, it was probably when I got hit by a truck?"

"Never a boring time in your life, huh… And can you stop making happy moments dark, please?"

"I wish I could then, I hope I can from now on.

How about you, Rin?"

"I've been watching over you since we were kids that I don't know exactly. But it was also probably in our fourth year in junior high.

You'll probably be upset, but can I be honest with you?"

"That sounds concerning but I'm all ears."

"I guess I never really took interest at you in a romantic way until you returned after disappearing for a week."

"So you fell for me just because I changed physically and got tall, huuuuuuh?"

"P-Partly… I'm ashamed to say."

"Then it was a good idea that I entered the Void. I avoided it being one-sided."

"You don't know how happy I was when you gave a key of the house, though."

"Right, you suddenly hugged me. But hey, you get to keep the key, and now I gave you a ring. We're literally reliving that with you on my lap and all."

"I'll hug you on your stomach again, then."

"Hey, stop. It's not winter right now."

"You have nice abs, you know."

"Why, thank you. But please get off."

After going through several pains and hurdles, I've reached a point that I can't even explain to my past self even if I can.

But more than anything, a part of me can't believe that I will be