‹Shiina Kumine›
I guess it really has been a while since the first time I met Kei.
They always say that entering college is a time for us to broaden our horizons, meet new people, and be free from the shackles of the old system of high school in this country.
But for me… it was quite the opposite.
On the first day of my freshman year, I found myself blankly staring at the mirror of my bedroom minutes after waking up. That time, it was incredibly weird for me to be looking for a pair of glasses, as at that point, my vision got significantly worse.
I've realized that I haven't had my bangs cut since graduating from high school, and that it had gotten quite long, but I really did not have any plans on doing anything to fix that.
After washing my face, I was once again reminded of a wound on my left cheek that still has marks of the stitches that had already came off completely, and applied a new patch of medical tape on it.
Even though it has long turned into a scar, sometimes I would feel that it would still sting.
"These would do… right?"
With overly plain clothes, I set out to my new academic environment. Of course, I expected that some other freshmen would want to stand out in varying degrees as there was no more requirement to wear a uniform, so some of the other students would let how they dress do the talking.
It was still early in the campus and so many students have arrived, yet I only checked my schedule for today's series of orientations and immediately headed to my classroom.
The classroom was like a hidden message in itself. The only students inside are people that are just like me, at least appearance-wise. It was significantly quieter than the outside, and really, I would rather be in an air-conditioned room with less people.
Orio at this point was still very slow to innovation. It was already 2014, and we are only just adapting to the trend of smartphones. I personally had no idea about mobile data at all until recently. Again, we are so slow to adapting new technology that my phone was only capable of connecting to 3G, yet I was still amazed with how convenient it is to have portable internet without being near to a router.
All that being said, I have stopped using social media even though it was starting to become a boom in the country—at least, those places where I can't particularly preserve anonymity.
In my free time, I would only scroll through images and videos of animals and other cute things, and read on forums about my hobbies like cake making, for example.
As I waited for our instructor to arrive, some of the girls in the class noticed the passing images of the mentioned small and fluffy creatures from my screen, which caught their attention and decided to approach me.
"Hey… can we also see those cats?"
"Um, sure," thus they switched seats and sat close to me.
"Aww, the black one looks like mine."
"You're taking care of a cat, umm… your name?"
"It's Emi."
"I'm Faith!"
"I'm Shiina. So you have a cat, Emi?"
"Yeah! He's only six months old and he has beautiful green eyes. I love him a lot."
"Are cats like, clingy or something?"
"Sometimes, at least in my experience. There are times where they don't care, like when I walk over him lying down, but sometimes he would meow a lot when he wants attention. He really likes hugs that it's so cute.
Ah, I suddenly talked about him too much."
"He sounds really cute. They feel like they would be soothing now that I'm considering getting one if I get permission from my parents."
"You really should! Whenever I feel lonely, they can be very healing!"
"I see… Ah, want to join me have lunch later? I want to find a quiet spot to eat."
"Sure, sure! Do you have any SNS?"
"Ah… sorry, I only have a messaging account. Is that alright?"
"That's fine~! Do you use your actual name there?"
"Yup. I'll point at what account I have while looking for it."
I'm not exactly the most social person, and I'd like to consider myself just normal on it. But nonetheless, it was a good start that I immediately found friends with some people in that first day.
Not long after, I was able to become comfortable to the college environment with laying low and having a casual stride. Kei and I would always have coinciding subjects, so it was only natural that we would see each other in our classes.
"Do you have anyone to pair with, Shiina?"
"Not yet. You, Kei?"
"Same. Should we pair up then?"
"That would be great."
"I'll move seats then. Let's just brainstorm for today so we'll have an idea on what we'll put in our documentation."
"Sounds good to me. Do we need any materials from the library?"
"Hmm, not yet, I think. Let's just list out some things for now."
"Okay."
"Ack, I just noticed… dammit. There's a smudge on my glasses…"
"That's rough. Do you have a cleaning cloth? It just isn't as good when you clean it with any other cloth, isn't it?"
"Yeah… I asked my brother to get it for me earlier and he probably touched the lens. The guy's really absentminded."
"Sounds like kid brother, I'm guessing."
"Do you also have bad eyesight, Kei?"
"Yeah, since I was a kid. You too?"
"Just recently. My eyesight generally worsened before graduating, then I also got diplopia."
"The one where it feels like you're seeing double vision?"
"Yeah, that one."
With group pairings finally becoming more established in the room, the noise also grew which only made Kei irritable as he apparently got used to how quiet their household could get. Thus, I suggested that we move to the library to restore his concentration.
"I'm just really not good with crowds, especially with the kind of outgoing ones. It feels like they're sapping away my energy."
"I get you. I guess I don't vibe with those kinds now anymore. I'd rather be in peace and quiet."
"Also… I've realized but you've always worn bandage on your cheek even though it's been a few months now. Did something happen?"
"It's… nothing, really. It's just a small cut but it seems like it's taking a lot of time to heal."
"I see. I hope it heals soon, then."
One way or another, I was able to do well with my studies over a few months. It's not to the point that I'm smart enough to be anywhere close around the top of the class, but it was way better than how I performed on my entire four years in high school. If anything, it was probably the best I've ever studied in my life.
In the coming months, I've learned to become more independent, maintained relationship with friends, and preserved a quiet school life. I was also able to know Kei better. At first impressions, he is not someone easy to talk to, or rather he only talks when he needs to. But even so, he has a good sense of responsibility and he helps out people especially when he sees in their face an expression of sheer stress and hopelessness.
And sometimes, he would whisper to himself how rotten this world is.
▪ ▪ ▪
"Sh-Shiina…?"
At around December came an unfortunate day for me.
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"H-Hi…"
"How have you been? It's been a while since high school? Is your university around here?"
"…"
The only feeling I felt when I saw my high school classmates was repulse.
As if a wound has been reopened, my breathing fell short, my body stiffened and trembled, and I could not speak in their presence.
"Are you free right now? Let's stop by a cafe to catch up on stuff, shall we?
Also, what happened to your bangs? You let it grow out like this. It's such a waste to have your face hidden like that!"
A slight touch of my hair was enough to keep everything in me from shoving their hand away. The only though screaming in my head that felt splitting at that moment was…
"How dare they act as if nothing happened?"
"So… are you going with us?"
"…ina."
"We could also call up our other classmates! It's like an unexpected reunion."
"Sh… na…"
""Which cafe should we go, then?"
"Shiiiinaaaa…"
From across the road, a really loud voice echoed on the surrounding buildings calling out to my name. From there, I saw Kei waving his arms very high, still calling out to me which nevertheless caught everyone's attention.
Without even looking back, I immediately ran as soon as the road was clear to cross. Finally feeling a tinge of relief, I noticed that Kei was walking at a very fast pace as I followed behind him. We were not supposed to meet today at all and I was planning to go home for the day.
"I think this is far enough… Are you okay, Shiina?"
I could not help myself but grip tightly on Kei's hand as I try to calm myself down, only for my voice to crack and my tears that I have been holding back fell.
"I don't know what happened… but for now let's go somewhere quieter.
…
I could only follow him as we walked like I was only moving on autopilot with my mind all over the place.
By the time I became much more aware, I noticed that Kei had not let go of my hand, and that the silence was very soothing and calmed me down.
"Sorry… I really don't know of a lot of places but I think our place is quiet enough."
I later found out that this very quiet path we were walking on was the White Street where Kei's house is found at.
"Mom, I have a friend visiting.
Do you want cold water?"
"And an ice pack, please…"
"Hello, I'm Kei's mother."
"I-I'm… Shiina…"
"I'll bring out some snacks, so make yourself at home."
As I had expected, the surprising silence outside was the same even inside the Sakato household.
"…
Don't you have… a brother?"
"Well, yeah. It's still early so he's still in school. Also, I think he's in the first batch for the six years combined of junior and senior high school. We really had it easy having only four years, huh.
Oh, my dad's still at work, by the way."
As if it was in the blood, I noticed that the way her mother does things is very careful and gentle, just like Kei. Without much of a sound, she placed a plate of snacks and a pitcher of water on the wooden coffee table without making much of a sound.
"Have you calmed down?"
"Yeah… thank you."
"Who are those people anyway? It really looked like you were very distressed earlier, so thank goodness I was around to call you."
After finally catching my breath, I took off my glasses and placed the ice pack on my forehead as I resolved myself to tell my story.
"They were… They were classmates from my high school…"
"Something happened, I take it."
"I never want to see them anymore. They only bring back bad memories… and it makes me remind that my eyesight worsened because of extreme stress."
I was aware of my fair appearance. For a few months late in my high school, I was a model for a hairstylist. They would do my hair and I will go for photoshoots afterwards. It's not that I was famous, but almost the entirety of my school pretty much knew about it.
To make a very convoluted story short, before my final high school year ended, I decided to stop on modelling as I was afraid it would hinder me from taking my entrance exam.
Then all of a sudden, several rumors came up about me apparently getting caught having a relationship with multiple men from the people I've met in my modelling bout, which in turn made me quit modelling all along in the pretense of focusing on my studies.
Of course, they were only false accusations, but I had a guess of where those gossips came from. Many other girls hated me, even in my class. I was not very open in my class about what my experiences were, so my class took a side against me to the pointed that I feel like I'm being persecuted every time I came to school. My parents were even called in the school's office to discuss about it which was the turning point to prove that those rumors were factually incorrect, and that nothing whatsoever actually happened.
I barely passed my college entrance exam with a heavy heart, I did not come to school for a few weeks, only to attend my graduation with large circles on my eyes, and a patched up wound on my left cheek that spans from beside my nose all the way to the ear.
Not being able to contain my emotions in my absence, I found a cutter and gave a deep wound on my face myself. I passed out seeing the pool of blood, and I woke up with the wound already stitched up in a hospital.
It was… my desperate way to rid me of what people so-called a beautiful face on me.
"Thanks for telling me… I feel like I can understand a little how difficult it is to tell people something this serious. I don't feel like I deserve it, but I'm glad you trust me enough for this."
"You think too low of yourself," somewhat feeling reassured, I unconsciously bent a smile at him as I placed down the ice pack from my forehead.
"D-Did you really feel feverish earlier?" concerned, he placed his hand on my forehead.
"It's some kind of a response…"
I could feel a flinch from his hand as his eyes suddenly widened, seemingly locked on me.
"Uhh… something wrong with my face?"
"Uh-Uhm… no. Uhh, i-it's just as you say, Shiina…"
"Something I said?"
Slowly, Kei put down his hand with his face somehow turning red.
"I don't really know if you want to hear it right now with your story, but…
You really are pretty, just as you say…"
With the words out of his mouth, he immediately stood up and, hiding his face.
"I'll get you a towel…"
"S-Sure…"
Perhaps that was the starting point. Perhaps that was the beginning of us seeing each other in a different way than just friends. It's not that we exactly developed romantic feelings for each other, but before the year ended while finding ourselves together enjoying the cold breeze outside, as winter had not yet arrived at this time, Kei had admitted to having complicated feelings that boiled down to wanting to spend more time with me as we grew closer.
I was not against the thought of dating someone who has always heard me and did not betray the trust I had in him, so I said yes to his proposed idea that we would only try it for a few months, and we would separate if it ends up that our relationship does not progress… which we scrapped three weeks later as we quickly took things seriously.
He then met my parents which are still concerned whether I should be in a relationship after the mess I went through, but Kei tried his best to prove himself that he would always become my support and especially in the chance that I break down again. With his persuasion, he managed to get the blessing of my parents and we could not be happier hearing my parents' support.
On the other hand, I also formally met his parents and announced that we have started going out. In this case, Uncle Amano and Aunt Senna was more open-minded about it. They did not show any signs of being against it, but they always tell Kei to weigh in whether his choices are the correct ones or not. At that point, I had visited their family from time to time, and even though it was most likely purely coincidental, it always felt like his younger brother has been very elusive—that it took me three years in our relationship to finally meet this brother of Kei's.
▪ ▪ ▪
"Wait, who's that?"
"Is that a freshman?"
"A transfer student?"
"Did the uni have a student like her?"
"Waahhh, I wish I'm as cute as her."
"I'm also a girl, but I feel like my heart skipped a beat…"
It was both funny and concerning to me that once I stepped into my university in the first day of my sophomore year, I already heard side comments passing by as I walked towards the building where my orientation is at.
The plain clothes did not change, but in the time of our break, I decided to work part-time as a hairdresser on the closest branch of the salon ran by the hairstylist I modeled for back then. While at work, I also learned slowly how to style my hair on my own, and who knew that only fixing my hair a bit and tying up my bangs would result to some kind of an uproar in the university.
Amidst all the eyes on me, I heard approaching footsteps from behind me that turned out to be Kei, who immediately examined how I looked and gave it a praise.
And as we were entering the building, he suddenly turned back and taunted the men by pulling his eyelid down and with his tongue out.
I suspected that it would make my school life less quiet, but even Kei, who also always wished to lay low, made measures to keep away anyone who might be chasing after me.
▪ ▪ ▪
July 30th, 2023.
I turned off the alarm set at 9:30 in the morning that has been screaming at us for at least three minutes. I was about to get up until a sorry grip of an embrace tried to pull me back down to bed.
"It's finally getting cold… let's sleep more…"
"…
We're supposed to go back to the pavilion at 11, y'know… Yawn~"
‹Shiina Sakato›
On the still extremely sleepy face of my husband, I forced his glasses on his eyes as I also wore mine and gave myself a stretch.
"I feel like I had a really long dream last night."
"I don't think that's a dream… we were married yesterday and that's a fact…"
"Yeah, yeah, not about that. I feel like I relived some memories in that dream.
Oh?"
As I was about to open the door of the room, I stepped on a piece of paper with a handwriting saying: "I'm making breakfast, come down when you two are awake - Gin."
Thus, I climbed down the stairs ahead of Kei and immediately caught the smell of a spiced sausage getting seared.
"Morning, newlyweds."
"Good morning, Gin… Thanks for making us breakfast…"
"No prob."
After giving my face a wash, I immediately noticed that the house has already been completely cleaned up after the happenings in this house last night… and that there is a young man with gray hair and blue eyes idly sitting at the dining table, waiting for Gin.
"Good morning."
"Umm, friend of yours, Gin?"
"Ah, yeah, that's Haku."
"Oh, I see… Hi, Haku… NOT?!"
"He has the same name, but don't mind him. He'll eat in the living room."
"At this point it's too tiring to explain everything to her yet so I'll just go with that."
"Anything I can help with?"
"Two things, I guess—sit down and wait at the dining table. Just take it easy for now, Nee-san.
By the way, Kei hasn't gone down yet."
"He's just waking up."
"Ah, right, we both can't get up easily in the morning."
"Where's Ringo?"
"Still asleep. She didn't even get tipsy last night but she was out cold, it's kind of funny.
Can you check on your hubby now, Nee-san? I don't want this getting cold."
"Give me a sec."
…
"This is your homemade sausage isn't it?"
"Glad you can tell after eating that countless times in the family house."
"Give me your recipe, so we can make it when we move out."
"I told Mom but good luck getting her to spill it. But if it's Nee-san, she might just.
Anyway, where are you two moving to?"
"We found a good apartment room in Sector T1. We already paid the deposit for the place and it's good that we only have a few neighbors so it's quiet."
"The apartment owned by the Ayame's?"
"How did you know?"
"My classmate is the acting landlord and he lives in one of the units. Say hello to Yuuga for me. We haven't seen each other for a while."
"I'll just leave out the fact that they will have a mangaka neighbor, though I heard that he's also collaborating with a vtuber which is neat."
"Well, you got a good place, then. I think the size of the room is enough for you two."
"Yeah, that's why we chose it. It's small but not cramped, then we have easy access to the supermarket and the station is close by.
I'm planning on moving out of here as early as next week. I'll definitely need the help. It's good that you are a human forklift."
"Of course you only need the additional muscle.
What about you, Nee-san?"
"I haven't really started packing yet, but I'll get to it soon."
"Maybe you can have Rin help you. They've basically acquainted with your family so I think it would be fine."
"I'll think about it."
As I watched Kei and Gin have another banter over breakfast, it made me realize again that I really am married now with the evidence in my left ring finger. And now that I look back to my experiences with the Sakato's, I'm starting to realize that I have wedded to a rather eccentric family that got a little bit of a chuckle out of me.
"I think I'll most likely enjoy this new life."