‹Gin›

Suddenly, it just felt like things have just aligned.

So much things have happened in the span of more than a year. We suffered through the weight of Rin's illness, and I still can't forgive myself for almost dirtying my hands again, but even so, we got over the worst time of our lives triumphantly. Afterwards, I lost my job for a while, took a slightly different direction, somehow became a teacher, Nagi moved into my house, coincidences ensued, and met new, amazing people.

On the other hand, Rin has recovered quickly. Her hard work amidst just getting off a very tough time has earned her a recognition she very much deserved. Now, she's on the cusp of finishing her studies all the while earning generously for herself.

So much things have happened… but somehow it just felt like the year had passed by in a flash—a thought I had randomly while I found myself lying down on the floor of my room coupled with a sudden shot of melancholy in me as I looked back to what my life has been so far.

"What are you… doing?"

In the midst of another episode of existential dread, the window of my room opened with Rin leaping down inside.

"I just finished hanging my laundry at the veranda."

"Geez, at least close your door when you're done… It's still quite cold."

Upon sighing and closing said door. She looked at me for a moment with a blank look, and sat on the floor just before my head, or should I say under it as she lifted mine up so that it could rest on her lap.

"We've really been doing this recently, huh."

"I wouldn't say that recently, yeah?"

"Right… so it has been a month."

So a bit of cringy history from our teenage days; we set our minds to a situation where Rin and I have broken up. Well, maybe we successfully gaslit each other to thinking that, and it stupidly worked. We were fully aware that it was a temporary thing, but looking back, it could have possible implications that would have wounded our relationship, which thankfully did not happen. Now, we're a pair of chopsticks, if you still remember that analogy.

Fast forward to 2024, and we decided to revisit those memories as, in retrospect, it was still a valuable experience. We reflected on the past year, especially on the "close call" we've had in Kyoto. Ever since Rin's recovery last year, we were basically magnets until I moved back to this house at the very start of the year.

'So why don't we only meet out of necessity and by chance, and not just because we felt like it everyday?' was something we both agreed upon for the next 30 days… and it just ended.

"So… how was the past month?" I then asked.

"Surprisingly not that bad? Maybe because I'm just aware that you're here? And it's not like we never talked. It actually felt refreshing when we caught up with our own things when we invited you to our house for a meal. It was like we had so much more to talk about."

"Yeah, it was strangely nice."

"Can you answer your own question, then?"

"Hmm… Kinda mid."

"Don't say that…"

"Alright, alright…

Well, I still mostly stayed at home and only ever went out when I was invited, then visited my former students from time to time.

Other than that, I have been doing the same things like doing chores, finding obnoxious places in the house where I can work and draw…"

"Yeah, that last part is weird."

"But what I realized was that while I've basically done stuff like usual, I occasionally slip up and call out to you."

"Sir, I think you just took your pills that's why I disappeared."

"Where did you learn that joke from?

But do you even know what I mean just now?"

"Do tell."

"You're pretty much a default setting in my life."

She just made an indescribable face. It was not in shock, but more like her mouth opened just a little bit and her eyes squinted minutely, and I could not get a read of her from that.

"You really can't just say stuff normally, really…"

"Hey. I wasn't really lonely, though. Well, maybe in the first three days, yeah. But I wasn't like Sean who immediately broke down right after Haru-san left his place."

"I can't imagine Sean doing that."

"He's a growing boy who just found love. Don't worry about him.

But yeah… it just reaffirmed how large of an impact you have in me. Makes me way happier that I was able to save you."

"Twice, yes."

"That first one was more like a sacrifice."

"It might be fine with me, but Mom and Dad wouldn't like it if they heard you say that."

"That was on me. It just kind of came out."

Just as I cracked my fingers, Rin immediately noticed something that painted her face with worry.

"What… happened to your arms?"

From a short moment of me raising my arms, she found several spots of red blisters and patches of skin that are shiny, add to that the several bandages.

"I was working in the workshop in the base. Well, we were melting metal but a mold cooling down fell and got everywhere just when I took off a PPE. I was with Sean so I was treated quickly."

"Was he also okay?"

"Yep, unharmed. Thankfully they're just small bits of second-degree burns so I'm fine."

"What were you making with metal anyway…? You've never worked with that in the past, right?"

"This and that. Maybe I'll get to show you what I made with it. I'm taking a while so I don't know when, though."

"Hmm…"

"That aside… Are you up for this year's hanami?" I asked as I finally got up from this spoiled scenario while I reach my hand to help Rin stand.

"I was actually going to ask you about that too."

"We really share the same braincells."

"I know we will. After all…" her eyes looked down and away, and her voice lowered, "We never got to go last year."

"…"

And well, I hugged her.

"I thought you weren't lonely?"

A sweet voice suddenly resounded near my ear leaving me with a sudden bubbly feeling and warmth inside my chest…

…I appreciate it, but I don't know where that question came from.

"Ah, no. I was just wondering if you re-dyed your hair so I took a close look.

Ow- koff-"

A strike of a palm that reverberated in my room suddenly hit my back around the place where my lungs are at getting me winded for a moment.

Nonetheless, she was a little upset.

"You really can't just do stuff normally, really…"

Let's just say that I wasn't being very honest, but I won't tell her that since I have the feeling she already knows.

"But to answer your oh-so important question, I was just planning to since I know we're going out anyway."

"Then maybe there's no need for you dye it."

I then took a picture of the scalp of her hair and showed her a picture of it, being all black. What could not be seen from the mere 12 million pixels of the image was the difference in the shades of black that can only be seen with the reflection of light.

Around her scalp was more of a brownish black hair compared to the blacker black that was used for Rin's dye.

"I guess it only took a year, Rin."

"Yeah…"

But contrary to what I expected, her tiny smile held a little bit of gloom.

Thus, upon taking a jacket and putting it over her shoulders, we walked out of the door leading to the veranda beyond the clothes I've hung flailing to the wind.

"You didn't seem very happy about it?"

"Don't get me wrong, I am.

It's just that… things have changed, and I… don't really want it to go away? Minus the fact that I was ill… I feel like this last year has been the happiest I've been, and I look at myself everyday this whole year with how I look like now.

I had some reservations in the past, but I pretty much like how I am now."

"I'm glad that you're not bothered by it."

"I still feel anxious when I get looks, though. It just hasn't happened a lot since I've dyed it. But if it's growing anyway, then maybe I should just remove it for the last time when we go see the cherry blossoms."

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"That feels like a waste to remove it only for a short while but you know that I don't disagree."

"Is that so? Then tell me honestly, which of me do you like more? The way I looked like previously, or how I look like now?"

"You're asking me this again… If I answer, is that going to influence your decision?"

"I'll try very hard not to."

"Hahh… If you really want to hear it…

I honestly like seeing you the way you are now. Unlike in the past, it feels like you now have something that defines you more. Your appearance tells a story, and it's a symbol of what you have gone through and overcame.

So I really don't want it to go, honestly. It's just as special for me as it is to you, so I'll get a little sad if we don't get to see it again."

"See? So get your fill on it while it's still here!

Let's go downstairs and plan for a picnic, then. Are we going with the others?"

"I'd prefer it if it's just us two. I'll have to ask the other Exiles if it has gotten crowded now."

Oh, right, Hanami.

It pretty much translates to "flower viewing" and is usually done in Japan at around their springtime while the sakura trees are in full bloom, and really, we're just adapting it on our own way.

Was it 53 chapters ago? We first witnessed at that time the cherry blossoms bloom in this country when someone planted them here in different spots around the country even before this was a place with four seasons. No one would've thought of it actually blooming in full, but here we are.

One visit under the tree was all it took me to decided that I will personally make some sort of a tradition for myself to visit once every year in the height of spring, so of course I was ecstatic to make it to the following year… only to have experienced the most horrifying time of my life. Even to this day, a vision of such a blissful sight shattering right in front of you and slowly breaking away bit by bit still stings in my heart when I think about it.

Indeed, while things may have passed, one thing that the supposedly incredibly tough defense mechanism of my body is not immune from is the dread in the mind that visits me periodically.

But adjacent to the so-called most horrifying time of my life is the happiest right after it, and that is why this very moment is worth so much to redeem a lost time.

▪ ▪ ▪

‹…›

"Ooohhh. I think we're the only ones here."

A few hundred meters from the tree, Rin had parked her car upon seeing the standout appearance of a single tree with pinkish white petals contrasting the greens and the blue of the sky.

To their luck, indeed, they were the first ones to arrive in the area albeit the day nearing noon by two hours.

This early time of February still carries the cold winds of the spring as they felt upon leaving the vehicle. There was however a very short moment of passing dread as they wonder what season would be cut short as the climate still continues to adapt, and they would not want the coming summer to have the longest season of the year.

Nonetheless, they enjoyed the sound of the crunch of grass on their feet over the silence that is aided by nature's embrace.

No time wasted, the couple reserved a spot right under the tree by laying down a picnic cloth and proceeding to pull out a camera to take scenic shots of the park before a crowd arrives.

But more than anything, the lens was more distracted by a sight of a lady donned with shining hair as the sunlight reflected over her beautiful crown.

"I'm so glad I studied cameras further with Nagi and Dino otherwise I'll just be taking overexposed pictures."

"Um, sir? There's a sakura tree right in front of us, you know?"

"I know, I know," he replied with the lens still facing Rin and the shutter sounding at burst.

An hour of capturing and going through pictures, their activities for the day moved towards bringing out a set of gouache paint and watercolor paper, and setting up an umbrella some tens of meters away from the tree. The two would occasionally run to their picnic spot as the wind gets strong at times, only ever thinking of weighing the cloth down with rocks at the third time it happened.

"Don't you think you went a bit overboard…?"

"How?"

Rin could only look in wonder seeing a boulder tall enough to reach way above her knees beside the tree, dwarfing the weights they placed, but having no function as it only sat on the grass.

"Rude narrator. That should be enough to cover our stuff from the wind."

"Just put it back where you found it…"

After sifting through images anew and finishing a gouache sketch of the scenery, the two has finally found something strange having stayed at least two hours in the vicinity.

"Rin, just making sure… today's a weekend, right?"

"Mhm."

"Shouldn't there be people coming here just about now…?"

"More like, it should have been at least a little crowded even before we arrived here."

"And yet the two of us are literally the only ones here."

The park in which this very cherry blossom tree has been planted is in a condition that would be described as a little rundown, and that the nature has started to take back its place. Add to that, the only road going there has not been properly maintained, yet in the past two years that the tree has bloomed, it was still visited by people, although not as much as the other prime spots where other trees were planted.

That being said, not another shadow has been seen.

What they would not know is that the very few times that Gin told the Exiles that he would be around the area for the day would make the underground pull some strings to keep people away in the meantime, as the park is just a few hundred meters away from the Exile's abandoned greenhouse serving as a facade to their base and shelter.

In turn, the two of them was able to sit and lean on the tree's trunk as they watch the petals fall from right above them, and as they mindlessly stare at the pinks, they felt the energy they have expended creeping up to them.

"Let's have lunch."

They agreed that they would both make the food that they will bring to this small excursion as a mystery to each other until the last second before partaking on their meal.

"Umm…"

Initially, the first look at all the food they had prepared made them think that they made too much for the lunch, but even to this day, Rin herself unconsciously underestimates the appetite that she has now. Thus in their first bites, what was "too much" turned into "just enough".

But then, Rin has found that of the tears that rolled from Gin's eyes, wiping them with the sleeve of his jacket as he sniffled from time to time.

This time, Rin could not get a clear read of the man, only guessing that a delectable meal under the beauty of cherry blossoms and the feeling with it was enough to make him emotional. She however knew full well that that was not the case intuitively.

Nevertheless, she made it known that she has taken notice by scooting over and closer until their shoulders are touching, and they continued to enjoy the meal.

…

For just a moment after they have finished eating, Gin's emotions have subsided. But the consistent silence, the wind making the fallen petals dance in the air, and the general feeling of peace away from the sounds of the urban has made his feelings loose. Thus, Rin pulled his head closer to hers. His shoulders quivered, and his voice shook progressively… that it gave Rin an immense feeling of shock.

Never has Rin seen his lover in such a state.

She was reminded of the breakdown that he had seen of Gin within the isolation room with her very own eyes, but the wails loud enough to echo in the open field were essentially different.

More than anything, it was not instability as he seems to still have a grip over himself… and the hands of his partner.

Somehow, a cry that lacked words yet so full of emotion felt more special than anything for Rin. And as if a mother pacifying a child with a stroke on the head and the back-

"…"

No—what came upon Rin was an image of herself lulling a small child who had faced an undeserved hardship into assuring that everything is fine now.

A lengthy fifteen minutes later, Gin has finally let go tossing himself lying down on the cloth with arms spread, and eyes closed yet swollen from the seemingly unending stream of tears.

Under the shade of the tree, Rin decided that she would lie down also.

"I've never seen you cry this much."

"…

Is it… wrong to feel like I'm the happiest person right now… when I hurt someone to reach this point that we have now?"

"It wasn't under your contr-"

"But it was. Something that is different from what happened prior.

I learned that the reason why we've suffered so much is because of a single person… that can read minds. And… to prevent anything from going out, I forced fear into his mind."

Gin finally confessed, yet it was only met with a stretch of silence before she received a response.

"Maybe something has also gone wrong with me… but even I'm also so tired of everything that has happened to us.

While morally what you said does not sit very well with me… I just want us to finally find peace.

These six years have been painfully eventful for me, but I want you to know that I never blamed you for that. But for you, it was mere six years. You didn't deserve to get hurt for almost your entire life, so I really wish for you to always have that feeling of happiness once and for all.

If it means that we, and everyone, can move forward from really big hurdles away from us… then I want to forgive you. If it means that you won't have to suffer anymore, then I'll carry that burden with you, like I've always done."

"I'm really sorry that you have to put up with me."

"It didn't take me long to realize that this is what I signed up for. At least you didn't make me feel like I've been scammed."

"Ahahaha…

Even I don't know what's gotten into me earlier. Maybe it was because we didn't return here last year like we promised, or maybe because it has been a year and that we're past that incredibly difficult time. It could also be that above my fears, a year has passed and you are alive… and that I'm not alone in this very day.

Just like that, I cried but I feel lighter than ever. Perhaps this is the most relieved I've been in the past 19 years.

…

Hey, Rin?"

"Hmm?"

"I think I'm going to be frequenting the base a lot more for a while."

"For the work you're doing right now?"

"Yeah."

"Then don't get hurt anymore when handling dangerous stuff."

"I'll be more careful.

…

Also, I didn't really think about it, but you will be graduating soon, huh?"

"In a few months, I hope."

"Don't sound like that. I think you're on track to completing everything. Just accomplishing requirements and reporting about your internship, I guess?"

"Ah, I've actually completed my hours, so I'm pretty much working in Claude now."

"Why am I only hearing this now… So you've decided to work full time there now?"

"At least for now. They said that they will give me a few months break before and after my graduation so I can enjoy myself a bit after getting done with my studies. Besides, I get to keep the car in the meantime and I'm enjoying the employment benefits, so it feels like a no-brainer to keep the job."

"Well, if you change your mind, Giotto's will always welcome you."

"No offense, but I'd decline that.

I want to work in a different environment instead of the one I'm already used to. I'm better off opening a family-owned restaurant if I want to work with people I'm already very close with."

"That does make sense."

Suddenly, a yawn has come upon Gin, "I think I'm going to take a nap, Rin… I suddenly felt tired after crying so much."

"I'll wake you up when it gets late."

"Alright. Thank you…"

~ ~ ~

With the zenith of the sun passing and the park getting ever so slightly darker as the afternoon arrives, footsteps rustled on the grass that was neither of Gin or Rin's, approaching the tree in which the two of them are still at… where they were found both asleep with the lady's arm clinging to her partner. Then, a large blanket was gently placed over them as the temperature has started to drop.

"I know you don't catch a cold but it's different for Ringo, you idiot. She just came out from an illness, come on…

With this and closing the road leading here, I better get a thank you for this later," Ken Ichikawa chuckled to himself while watching the couple's slumber for a moment.

And before leaving for good, Ken ran back to the underground base for a second and returned with a camera on his hand.

"I'm sorry for taking a picture of you two without permission, but you guys just look too cute for the opportunity to pass."

※ Please do not capture anyone's photo or video without their consent, especially of strangers.

A few clicks sounded yet Gin and Rin did not show any signs of waking up. After doing what Ken had to do, he silently stepped back and returned to their base.

"Still though… I could hear Eiji crying from the greenhouse. I have never heard him cry that loud."

By the time the day has hit 4 in the afternoon, Gin's eyes opened, wildly disoriented as he looked at the time from his phone, and with his mind alternating from thinking that he is in his bedroom and a place he could not recognize. Needless to say, he woke up with a thick blanket over him and the sight of the still slumbering Rin. Thus, he carefully fixed her hair that has gone all over the place.

"I wonder if I have higher odds of pulling an SSR than Rin waking up immediately."

But regardless of his playful calls, Gin was wholly relieved it only took Rin a few times to wake her up.

"Uh… Huh… Where are we…?"

"We're still under the tree."

And as Gin got up to stretch, Rin looked down to see a blanket over her that has kept her warm from the afternoon breeze.

"I don't remember us bringing a blanket here…?"

"Apparently Ken went here to the surface," Gin then showed a sticky note with Ken's handwriting saying, 'Please return the blanket down here before you leave.'

"And you said you were going to wake me up," he teased.

"S-Shut up. It's just that the weather is good, okay?"

"Ahahaha, alright.

Should we go home now?"

"Yeeeaaahh… You still have some illustrations pending so we can't be too late."

"Pass me the keys, then."

"It's fine. Just return the blanket to the base while I clean up here. I'm feeling great after that nap.

And put the boulder back to where you got it! I can't believe that's a sentence I've just said."

"Yes, yes…"

"Yeah… I might be spending a lot of time in the base to get my stuff done…"

~ ~ ~

By the time the two of them got home and with Gin prompting to work after booting up his computer, he received a notification that he has been given access to a cloud folder. To his surprise, he saw several raw format image files that can't be previewed upon opening the folder link.

Thus, after loading the pictures, he found several shots that appeared to have his and Rin's face present in all of them, and noticing the beautiful depth of field and perfect focus on their sleeping faces.

"…The hell… I didn't know Ken can take really good pictures like this.

I guess I'll go procrastinate for a bit."

That night, Gin color graded photos more than he did draw. And even then, what he painted was an illustration reflecting the joy he felt throughout the day.

In the end, he never got to do any actual work at all.