Doing a look-back sometimes is somewhat scary. One thing that I don't really say is that I am a person that is very fond of times or memories that "stood out" the most in my… I guess, sorry life. Although I think I am pretty much stating the obvious at this point. There is always at least one time in a week where my mind will automatically say, "Aah, it's been three (technically five) years," or sometimes even, "fifteen years have passed."

Needless to say, the two years that I lived—as though I was literally separated from the outside world, or I was in a wormhole—are very important to me. But even so, there are 50-50 chance of me mentioning those two years amidst that.

So I might take back what I said earlier. It might be that doing a look-back is always rather scary, at least in my case. But I won't ramble about that anymore; you've heard it so much already.

So then the less scary look-backs. It's hard to believe that I was just 15 in 2017 and I literally aged five years now in 2020. Heck, I am going to turn 21 in a few days. Truly, it's astonishing to hear from myself a fact like that.

I am a believer that the things that happen to us always come from a certain root of the past, and it is indeed the case for me. I think that the most prominent root of my life is being a Medical Child. That basically started the abnormalities of my "everything." It was a root that has now grown to this one single branch called "I wouldn't have those additional two years in my life." As much as I'd like to explain how Truck-kun is related to five year-old me, I think I don't need to.

Also, there is always a reason why I come to this point of pondering. Mostly, this kind of thinking of mine is triggered by my memories about objects or places. It just so happened that I am back here in Maris Hospital.

…

I drove to the expectedly congested roads of the Capital with Mom to do some requisite checkups that happen every six months. All in the family does have them, to add. Incidentally, this would be the last time that we would come to this hospital for checkups, as a family doctor came to us instead of us coming to him.

Rishou Kagetora has begun to slowly come back to his work. I say that, but he has not yet set foot inside Mykes Hospital for more than a year after he admitted the program to the public. He still writes books, refuses to do any medical work apart from preventing a worldwide emergency, but he has finally moved forward and started to take very small and slow steps.

If I were to take a page in his book, I would guess that anything that is outside the hospital is a prison to him—where he had decided to stay in his cell even after a parole. Even I would think that the word "only" absolutely can't be applied to the 98 lost lives. As he has said in our few chats, this is his punishment for thinking only of himself.

"Now that I think about it… when was the last time that we went out by ourselves like this, Gin?"

"The last time was probably nonexistent…? I guess this might be the first time?"

"Oh, dear. We really missed something like this for 21 years of your life?"

"Well… this could have happened somewhere two years ago if I am not a sous chef. I got really busy quickly now that I remember…"

"This also could have happened if you aren't yet dating Ringo."

"Ahahahaha. Don't blame her on this one, Mom. I guess I'm sorry that all I ever do on weekends is hang out with her. You do with Kei or Anna, right?"

"Mostly Anna, she's way less busy."

"She's not a working student after all.

…

But hearing your question fascinated me, Mom."

"Hmm?"

"Come to think of it… I may not be on a position to talk as I wasn't even born at that time… But don't you think I'm fulfilling Uncle's regret for doing this?"

"…

You're right. Maybe I wished for something like this in the past."

"Then in behalf of him, I'd like to apologize for all the fear that he wasn't able to overcome soon enough. Things may have been so much better if he was a little more courageous."

"I-Is this him talking…?"

"Well, I inherited not only his memories but also his feelings. It's somewhat scary that I understand him so much."

"Mhm… It really feels like I'm talking to him again. That tone… those habits…"

"I guess being given birth in time before he slept is one reason to be thankful.

Hahh… I guess I'll go alone when I visit him. I don't want anyone seeing me crying."

"It's been a year since you found his memories, huh…"

"Mom, you sounded just like me in that line, or perhaps me being so reminiscent came from you."

"Could be."

"What do you want for lunch? You're still fine with any food, really! What a great checkup that was."

"Let's just look around. I also don't really know how to use the maps app on my phone."

"I got it.

…"

The hallway in the ground floor of Maris is undeniably large, but something strange… well, I guess not really strange is happening in our front as a doctor passes through. All the nurses around the hallway is greeting him as they get to a certain proximity around him, while he greets back with a very gentle and calm smile.

And then… this might be what is strange. The same doctor who is wearing a tinted eyeglasses is walking towards us without a change in direction as if we are about to collide. As I am only assuming that he is rather spaced out, I adjusted and gave way to him as there were definitely no signs of him stepping aside. But when we got close enough with the distance as the nurses…

"Ah… I'm very sorry about that. I hope that you don't mind."

It took me by a little surprise. I was still in the middle of stepping aside when he suddenly spoke. But behind those words, I only felt honesty and nothing else. He bowed when he momentarily stopped, and the other nurses greeted once more as he continued.

At first glance, that seemed to just be a normal, just-so-happened situation and I would ignore and forgot that it happened ten seconds later. But it is indeed a normal occurrence now that I have observed the nurses. And after everything, even the nurse in the reception desk apologized to us in behalf of the passing doctor with a slightly sheepish smile.

Three minutes have passed, and the ten seconds I mentioned of forgetting it did not happen at all. Quite ironically, he stood out to me despite his presence only being noticed when the nurses greet him. He is a man above the average Orion height, perhaps in an age younger, but not too far from my mother; a person who wears a gentle smile I have seen from so few people… and a gaze I didn't even see from beyond his glasses but stood so much to me.

My intuition rang inside my head.

▪ ▪ ▪

For some reason, my interest towards him did not go away even after a few days. It felt so much like I needed to meet him even if only for once.

And so in times where I found myself free, I continuously research the unreliable realm of internet. I tried to search for the most outstanding doctors in the country, as he definitely had that vibe, but the only doctor that I saw was Rishou Kagetora who I only know in the many list I went through. I did not see his face in any type of article whatsoever.

The only way I can think the most for me to see that one visage again is by something that I can't physically say but has happened to me, G, Nagi, and Shiro the most.

But an idiot is still an idiot because reaching 185 centimeters in height has absolutely nothing to do to mitigate my stupidity. It is Maris Hospital that we are talking about, and I have seen so much of Doc's name and face on the internet, and I still didn't realize that I could have contacted him in the first place as he was someone that worked there in the past.

Thus, I paid a visit to my old friends, bench-san and wall-san, and then commanded doorbell-san to ring. Sorry, I'll stop.

But nonetheless, I have become very welcome in this villa that I was freely able to walk in and knock on Doc's office.

"027…?"

"Hi. Are you busy? I won't take long, I just have something to ask."

"No, no. I'll pour you some coffee so take a seat… or do you prefer tea?"

"Tea please. Sorry for the trouble."

…

"So… it's rare for you to ask me of something."

"I guess that's true… our connection is way all over the place, and I guess that also counts for Ken. But anyway, I actually went to Maris with my mother for her regular checkup and I found something kinda strange before we left the hospital."

"There really hasn't been any record of strange things that happened in that hospital."

"I told you I will just be quick. So there's a doctor, which my description of him is a somewhat mysterious man, but I guess that doesn't help. Basically, I'm looking for a doctor whose one major distinct feature is that he is wearing a tinted pair of eyeglasses.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

Any ringing bells?"

"…

Could it be Dr. Nishina…?"

"Oh? Finally a name popped up after all my searching. Is he some amazing person?"

"Yes, he is an absolutely amazing man, if not a very known medical practitioner."

"Seems like… you really look up to him."

"Yes, very much so. I could introduce you to him as that's the only thing I can do for you so far. If anything, I want you to meet him personally. What I don't want is to spoil anything to you."

"So I was right with my hunch that he's someone interesting… Is he a busy person?"

"Not really. He only comes to the hospital from time to time or when emergency calls as he does most of his work in his home office. Besides, it is best for him if he works from his home.

Anyway, I probably have a book where he was present on. Like I said, he is not a special doctor, apart from one thing that sets him apart from anyone."

Swiftly, he pulled a book from his enormous bookshelf as though he immediately found the one single needle in a haystack on his first gaze. In itself, it is amazing to see him like a librarian of his unbelievable array of paperbacks.

As if it was natural for him to land on the exact page, he handed the book with the open pages that I shall apparently need to see.

There, I saw that visage once again.

…

'Looking back,' I may be holding a certain degree of importance to my greatest memories, painful or not, but I am not devoid of being forgetful. On the contrary, I have the worst memory when it comes down to it. I may be confident on my abilities of observation, but I tend to forget important details and some facts.

'One way to find what you are looking for is to not look for it.' No, it does not concern me looking for the certain doctor of my interest, but indeed, I did not try to look for one small bit of important detail, and thus I found it.

Hātori Nishina, 41, based on his birth date.

There is one information that the book did not display, as there is probably no one in this country aware enough that would know what it even is. Besides, it is not something that you would see in any kind of book, but only known through the minds of the many, at least in the not so long past.

Not a context of the book has ever entered my mind, as I was too fixed to the picture of him.

He is a blind doctor, that, however is known.

But the question is how I came to that conclusion with only giving a superficial care on the printed words.

His eyes are gray, not clouded, but as clear as day. Just like how I saw that same eyes on one single person I know so well. And those eyes are not ones that can be seen in any race of humans.

'There is one information that the book did not display, as there is probably no one in this country aware enough that would know what it even is.' And that is that one fact that…

Hātori Nishina… was once a Medical Child.

"…

I see, then. Any more and I'll get more interested, so thanks for the tea. I'll head out now."

"Best of health, 027."

"That's the first time I've heard a greeting like that."

▪ ▪ ▪

I can say that sometimes intuition is a display of great accuracy, but at the same time, it is a gamble. I personally do not trust my gut feelings a lot, as I know that they could be wrong most of the time. Instead, I would rely on my observing eye that I honed even before I realized it.

If anything, that ability might as well be a knife that gave me the scar on my body.

~ ~ ~

1012.

There is my want to go to the first day of the Open Event, but I can't afford to use my suddenly busy time to immediately go to school without even a single significant word to Tenth. And so instead, Dr. Nishina invited me for a meal in their house at Sector CX while I initiate my own wager that I would do the honors of making the food for him. After all, this all began due to my interests.

The house was humble—contrary to the "spacious" abode of the Kagetora. At most, it is the same dimensions as my house if not bigger, but the garden is a sight to behold.

On that note, I was told to just come and excuse myself to their yard and come to the garden, and so I did as I carry my bags full of ingredients.

It is a sunny day, and I was seeing fleeting rainbows as I walked. But as absent-minded I was, I didn't expect to be shot by a water hose right in front of me.

"W-Woah…!"

"Eh- Ah?! I'm sorry…! Did you get wet?"

"Ah, not really. It only got my hair."

"Thanks to you, window of split-second."

"Dear…! Can you bring out a towel? I got our guest a little doused."

"That's why I told you not to water the plants by yourself!"

"I'd feel bad if you do it every single time. You know it already.

Here's the towel."

"…

Thank you very much. Anyway, my name is Gin Sakato, Giotto's sous chef. Dr. Kagetora referred me to you," on instinct, I took out my hand as I greeted.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Sakato."

Surprisingly, he actually shook my hand effortlessly.

…

I have entered another lovely kitchen which amped up my motivation to do my best for a rather special lunch. And while I was in the process, I was told that they wanted to have lunch on the porch beside the lush garden, as a warm and sunny weather is not so common in October forwards anymore.

I asked Mrs. Nishina that I would to do all the preparations in the kitchen by myself and let them wait for a meal that I can be very confident with. But being by myself is not actually the case.

Honestly, I really didn't have a good relationship with dogs. If anything, I was scared of them when I was a child, and I guess, I am still scared of labradors and big dogs. Basically, I am a proud cat person! I could talk about that all day, but I won't. However, there is a Goldendoodle that has been sitting idly just by my foot, looking at me as I cook. Somehow, he reminds me of Ichi with the way he watches me when he was younger.

I don't really know much about doggies so I really don't have an idea if a dog in this crossbreed with a white fur is rare or not. Anyway, calm dogs are cute.

…

"I have to admit… you're a better cook than me," Mrs. Nishina exclaimed.

"W-Well… I am more of a home cook than I am a chef… I did not really get a chance to have proper education, especially that I decided to focus on work than go to college."

"How old are you again, Mr. Sakato?"

"I'm 20, though due to some circumstances, I just graduated from high school this March."

"That is quite an achievement to be a sous chef at a young age."

"I often hear that…"

"Anyway, I'd like to apologize again for what happened back in Maris. As you can see, I can't."

"N-No… I understand that. B-But, I am a little surprised that you still recognized me."

"One perk of being blind is having your other senses heightened, although I guess… excessively."

"…

Regarding that… I have some important matters to talk about."

"I guess you wouldn't really come here without a reason. If it's something sensitive, please don't mind my wife. No one knows me more than her."

(!)

"That's a relief… Being able to tell everything to your partner is indeed not a very easy thing to do…"

"Hahaha, I'll take that as you experiencing the same thing. But whoever your partner is, she is a very incredible person just hearing that."

"Indeed she is… Then I suppose it won't be hard for me to begin my discussion…

I would like to confirm if you are a-"

"I truly am, Mr. 027."

Needless to say, my face hardened.

"I'm sorry to surprise you. But I've known Dr. Kagetora so well in his work at Maris. Apart from being an outstanding doctor, he is nothing. Being human, in contrary and ironically, is a very hard thing for him. Even if he had realized the mistakes he had made, it is hard to change.

If anything, his regrets made him rather worse. Once, he was a selfish man only driven by fame and achievement, and now he is a person who was slowly losing his path in a thick fog.

His cogs weathered so much that he ended up telling me about a secret program held in the last decade where one hundred children disappeared under his watch. I listened, which put me in great shock and fear that such a thing happened once again. By then, I can't help but scold him even if he is obviously older than me. Perhaps it was because for the past thirty years or so, I still had my pent up feelings and threw them all in Dr. Kagetora, after all that he has done. But after everything, he considered me as his mentor, weirdly enough.

He was just like a child that is only driven by one or two things without giving a care to the implications; that naivety. In retrospect, he wouldn't be called an outstanding doctor without other people's help. He is only a doctor and nothing much. He is a great surgeon, but he is not a good researcher at all. Even so, he takes all the credit from the people that helped him. He is enthusiastic, then vile.

But then, ten years after the program, he came with news. That was you, Mr. Sakato. But even if the existence of one of those children was able to save him, it was still unforgivable. No matter how good it was for him, it is hard to unsee the person he was, even for a blind person like me.

And with that… as much as you are surprised, I am much more astonished than you for finding it out."

"If my maths were right, it should have happened back in 1984… the first Medical Children Program in this country. Just like a few years ago, one hundred children in the age of five were put to several research and experiments. In the process, all of the subjects emerged after one year with inability to see."

"The first record of studies in 1800s says that five year-old children have biological immunity with whatever disease it may be apart from common cold or fever, and many papers revealed that even cancer cells or poison did not have an effect on children's constitution."

"So that was the truth about it…?"

"Apparently.

But if you discovered that I am also a Child only means that you have encountered the same of my kind. However, it is not like the hundred of us stayed alive for a long time. If I were to guess, almost half of us have already died."

"But still, there is one out of the number that emerged with his vision retained and eyes that only greyed out half."

"…!

You encountered the survivor…?"

"Mr. Nishina, you are a survivor yourself. But I know that he would be overjoyed when I tell him about another Child."

"H-He was someone without a name… How is he now…?"

"Just like you, he is alive and healthy. He may not be a great father, but he now has a family with one child. Look at Taketo Juushiro now; he became a principal of my high school."

"Taketo Juushiro… that's his name…?"

"Yes. Today begins the Open Event of Blue Ink High School where anyone can see the students' various works and activities. If you have time, I would suggest you pay it a visit."

"It is Cotona Week after all…"

"It took him so many years to reach this point. He is on his way to reaching what he was seeking for… and if not because of him, at least indirectly, I would have died by now."

He then suddenly stood up and walked back inside their house with the words, "Please follow me, Mr. Sakato."

And so I did. I was absolutely worried that the doctor is hurriedly walking on his own, but quite surprisingly, he is moving like he knows where he is going.

With that, he led me to a large room that made me doubt if I was still in the same house. Just earlier, I was in a house, and now I am inside a laboratory.

"All that you can see here has nothing to do with my work as a doctor in Maris. This is all of my personal research that I have accumulated even before I became a practitioner."

"T-These are all your research…?"

"Even if I am blind, I am not entirely disabled. As I have said earlier, my senses were extremely heightened, and I may share the same traits as a bat. Basically, the way I see things is through their vibration, and ultrasonics. Even if I can't see, I am able to read because my senses detect even the smallest change in texture in books when ink has been put on the paper. But if I am not on total concentration, my range is only limited to a meter, hence why I wasn't able to sense you immediately."

"So even such a thing is possible for a human… Then are you telling me that you can see me right now, Mr. Nishina?"

"I only see an outline of you, however. I only know that you are quite tall, but I can't even see your face.

But for the sake of the other Medical Children, I have been doing this research that has been taking me so many years. We have some certain common denominator biologically. It's not that we are actually blind, but some kind of substance that invaded our bodies is making our sense of sight disabled.

I became a doctor for this reason. I want to put an end to this disability that we did not deserve. I will not settle for a solution that is half-and-half. I seek for the absolute answer to the riddle that has deprived us of having normal lives and walking with only a void in front of us.

…

Mr. Sakato, what do you think of us including you, the children that drew the short end of the stick?"

"In my extreme honesty, we are damaged goods."

"Then this is a display… that even we, damaged goods were able to find their purposes in their lives one way or another. Even if no one can see or hear me, I continue to shout to the world that I am a weakling that is surviving in this reality, and that such things that degrade the human life is unacceptable. This is only my first step on contributing to a time where the cruel experiments that have happened all over history will be a forgotten thing.

If Mr. Taketo Juushiro, a fellow Child, has something he reaches and seeks for, even us who were left behind in the dust seeks for our freedom.

Mr. Sakato, has something like this came to your mind even if just for a fleeting moment?"

Now I understand.

Hātori Nishina is also one of those people that seek for what they have been deprived of. He is indifferent. He does not concern himself on the thought that he is someone that can turn the world upside. What he is trying to do is only taking a very small step without expecting a huge result to come. He has the workings of a person—a blind person—that sees a future of very minute and subtle changes.

I was given a reminder that someone has also already taken one small step in which a minute change has resulted to.

"…

I have shouted to the world the kind of freedom that we chose."

I proudly announced with a smile brimming with the light of hope that even his eyes could gaze upon.

"The courage that we weaklings have…

Now I see."