June 17, 2019.

So I guess… I'm finally on my last year in high school.

It really takes some time to process that I have already accomplished 11 years of studying and starting today, I will become a graduating student. Looking back when I first came to this school, Blue Ink was just an absolutely normal school, but looking at myself now, it might have changed me.

My last year in junior high school truly was a turning point for me. Somehow, so many things have happened. All of a sudden, our class representative Akaji Mashido was announced to have died, and the current principal, Taketo Juushiro finally appeared after his physical absence. To add salt to the wound, my other classmate, Ken, had left us because of an illness.

But Principal Juushiro was not an ordinary principal. His words were so powerful, as though everything he said came from his experiences. He was somehow able to spark change from my unruly classmates from Class 4A that are now gone from this school mostly.

Because of that, the system of Blue Ink ultimately changed. The ranking system was abandoned, the senior high school department has become more specific, and some more. Under his supervision, the high school had become a better place for us. Of course, no one in this world is living without any problems, but once we ourselves step inside the premises of the school, it automatically becomes an oasis.

…

Our classrooms did not change for some reason, even though we have gone up a year. It was still beside our former room when we were fourth years, but our neighbors now are S1BM and S2 Acc. Come to think of it, my sister is now a senior high school student in the Accountancy department.

"Ooooossu."

"Morning, Gin."

"Morning," G greeted.

"How's your summer, Nagi?"

"Do you really have to ask that every time school starts?! You're a sadist!"

"So Jean and Shiro aren't here yet?"

"Shiro said she overslept a bit."

"You could have just waited for her on their place."

"No way! Uncle Junpei is simply scary!"

"Ahahahaha…"

But well, how considerate of him to once again give me the corner most seat on the back beside the window. I chuffed and all but I still had a selfish complaint.

"Say, you're going to seat beside Shiro, right?"

"Yeah?"

"You know, uhh, could you, umm… move one seat apart from me?"

"…

Hahh… Finally, Gin," then he moved his bag and emptied the desk beside me. "You know, you should just come to school with her."

"Yeah… I really should invite her."

Going back to what I was talking about earlier… When I said that so much has happened here, I mean it a lot. One of those is that Akira was actually Principal Juushiro's son. He decided to not attend senior high school and leave for something, but then we found out that he is now working as the principal's secretary.

There is also a thing that happened in Cotona Square a year ago, which exposed the truth behind Joseph Horach, and that it confirms that Exiles aren't actually just legends. Following to that, something really scary happened inside here. A few months ago before the school year ended, the sound amplification happened again when we were all here, but thankfully, our counter earpieces were put to the test and was very effective. But on the graduation of Anna, the principal announced the truth about the incident saying that it was man-made. So starting this year, our ears will now be bare. Also, even before the school year ended, Ryota for some reason had to drop out, and we've never heard from him after that.

But even amidst that, we do not have a choice but to move on.

~ ~ ~

As always, the first day of the school year is full of orientation. But afterwards, we found the time to do some drawings in the Art Room with the six of us. At this point, we have given up on adding up members to the club. But if ever some people actually come on their own, then that would really make us glad that this club will continue on.

That being said, the day went by fast.

I can never state enough how I loved this street, apart from the very notorious flooding, but I'm really glad that I always walk down this walking in and out of the school.

"I'm back," I called out upon unlocking the door of the house.

"Oh, 'sup. How was school today, Gin."

"It's just like as always."

"Did you come home with Ringo?"

"A-Ahh… I think she came home immediately. I didn't catch her."

"Hahh… We're literally living next door with the Akanami. How come you guys aren't that close?"

"You know, we're friends, Uncle."

I guess I have a few more explaining to do.

Our bungalow house wasn't really that large. If our family of five in the past was living there, then it would be enough. But we siblings have gotten bigger, and Anna came back here permanently two years ago. But since my uncle, Eijiro, is living four blocks apart from us, I suggested to move out to make space for her. And so, I am now living with my uncle.

It just so happened that uncle is living just next door to the Akanami family who are friends with my parents ever since they moved here. Well, you already know Ringo at this point. She's a really quiet and shy girl but sometimes she's also a bit of a pain, honestly. It seems that she doesn't really warm up to friends, even to Shiro, but for some reason, we always find ourselves together. I tried to befriend her and succeeded in some ways, but still, she is a bit of a pain.

Or rather… she is in pain.

Somehow, I became someone who she can lean on, but not relying to me. Slowly, very slowly, she opened up things that she can't say to just any person. Little by little, I got to know her feelings and her emotions. They were mostly negative, which reflected her social deficiency.

She was so despaired and in so much pain… that I had to rush and pull her away from the edge of a building. When the adrenaline went away, it felt like my legs paralyzed. I can't really remember much from that moment as my body moved on its own… apart from when I felt Ringo's hand tightly holding on to my shirt and crying her heart out on my chest.

It was at that moment where I felt a fraction of the sadness and loneliness that had bottled up inside her. I realized at that time that I was not able to fully understand her feelings. Her sorrowful and tearful face was so vivid in my mind that I can still remember it so clearly even at this point.

For some reason, I too, broke down to tears when I saw her in that state. I could not fully understand, but she hates the world, she hates people, and she hates herself. I, to this moment still do not know the reason behind her hatred and emptiness, but I said to myself that I would never want to see her make that face again. I promised myself that I will never let it happen again, and that I will do my absolute best to protect her.

I didn't realize it at that time, but I think that was when I realized my feelings for her.

…

"What do you want for dinner today, Gin?"

"This is your house, uncle. You decide even if it's something that I don't like…

But please no squids or oysters…"

"You're contradicting yourself."

"Anyway…! Shouldn't you be spending more of your time with your family? What exactly is the reason why they don't live here?"

"It's just as I told you already, Gin. There is already a place where they belong, and this is not this house. But it was also a place where I belong more than here. Don't get me wrong however. We're not in some kind of conflict. I love my wife and my daughter, and this is the best way to protect them.

Because if anything, the two of them are very similar to Ringo—they don't like the world just the same."

"Really?"

"Just… in a sense. I've heard some things about her, and I guess she really had it really rough in the past. Well, my wife was put to challenging times too, which make them similar."

"If… If there's something you know about Ringo… please… please tell me, uncle."

"…

It's true that I know something, but no can do. If you go to her with that in mind, you will just hurt her more than she is now and she will eventually shun you away. Like I said… she hates people, and therefore she trusts no one; dare I say not even you. But don't get the wrong idea."

"…"

I have always thought about this, but uncle Eijiro truly is an amazing person. If I am being honest to myself, he knows the world better than Dad. And when he does speak, it was always so similar to when I hear Principal Juushiro's words. They both do not sugarcoat words and gets directly to the point, but still making a complete sense. The way they speak are so convincing that it resonated inside me, even though he has omitted so much things.

I… I wish that I am as courageous as they are so that I can tell the things that I actually want to say.

"…

I'll help you for dinner."

"…?

Want me to teach you again, I guess?"

"Yeah… It would've been better if grandpa's still here though."

"Oi. I may not be as good as him, but I'm notorious to be a challenger of housewives."

"And also beating up people in the past… I'm really sorry…"

"You know… if Ringo was actually able to taste Grandpa Kinrou's food, would you think that she it would spark happiness for her?"

"It goes without saying. Uncle is a person that can bring out the joy from people with his cooking. That is his great power, so to speak.

I may not be as good as him, but maybe you can hopefully be. Oh… Is that your intention, Gin?"

"As always… you catch on things that you shouldn't have."

"Well thank you."

▪ ▪ ▪

"Uhh, say, Ringo… would you like to have lunch with me?"

"H-Huh…"

"Y-You don't have to force yourself if you don't want to."

Promptly, she rather painfully turned to Shiro which then gave an "it's fine" gesture. Afterwards, she just nodded.

"Then, shall we go?"

On that note, she stood up and followed on my back as we walked out of the classroom, but it doesn't really sit well on me. I know that it's a given that excessive assertion won't do well for her… coming from experience, but I suppose a gesture of slowing down to match her pace and walking beside her would not hurt. And thankfully, she did not mind it.

In no time, we arrived at the rooftop of the building which was surprisingly bare for the day. With that, we sat on one of the benches and opened up our lunch.

"Did you make that yourself, Ringo?"

"Y-Yes…"

"Hm. That's amazing, really. In my case, I don't really know much about cooking until my uncle and my mom started teaching me recently. I actually made mine for today.

Want to trade?"

"S-Sure…"

"Like I told you, Ringo, don't force yourself, okay?"

"N-No, it's fine by me…"

You know how a maiden's heart pounds in the sight that the guy she likes eats the lunch she made for him? Well, the roles have been reversed.

"…

The meat needs a bit more salt…"

"O-Ohh… Hahh… I'll keep that in mind then!"

…

"Actually… we've known each other for a while but, uhh… I haven't really asked you…

Is there a reason why you chose Visual Arts?"

"…

I-It's because… I like drawing and painting… but I-I always think that they are empty… I want to express myself through that… but it's very difficult."

"I guess art really is one way to tell a meaning to something. As for me, I unconsciously draw for myself and not really thinking about expressing things like that unless told. But when it comes to that, I think it would actually be simple for you."

"What do you mean…?"

"It's really hard to express from the things that we create visually, but I think you have what it takes. You're in the Literature Club, and it looks like you love writing just as much as you like art.

You see, giving a meaning to something isn't really that different to telling a story. If you look at it with a perspective that 'the meaning of my work is the story I created,' then don't you think that you'll be able to say the things that you can't say out loud?"

"I've never looked at it that way… but how did you know that I like writing?"

"For three whole years, we've always been together so it's only natural for me to know some things about you. I may not completely understand what you are going through, but I at least know that you've always been feeling lonely.

Honestly, I really hope that you won't feel lonely when I'm with you."

After that, she just went all quiet and continued eating while I was hammering my head on a wall inside my mind. The words came so smoothly that it took me a few before realizing what I just said.

But on the other hand, it felt like I have only realized something important that I should have realized sooner. Because of something that had happened to Ringo in the past… frankly, she has become broken. It felt like a part of her humanity has been taken away from her. Some of her emotions are gone, or she may not be able to show them; her mind has been most likely plagued by only negative emotions that there is no more room in her heart and mind for anything other than that.

It was not that I was hurt of that realization, but everything has not sat well with me. I am surrounded by people that have went through many challenging times yet I failed to perceive just how unfair this world is.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

I may just be an ordinary, powerless human… but I can't sit still when the woman I want to be with the most is making a sorrowful face when I am always near her.

"Ringo… if there is something that's troubling you, I just want to tell you that I will always listen."

"…"

▪ ▪ ▪

"Oh, right. Question, Nagi."

"Hmm?"

"How did you actually start dating with Shiro?"

"Why would you ask that out of the blue?!"

"I also want to know. Let me in," Jean added.

Upon a lengthy sigh, he began.

"It wasn't really that interesting… It's like… the situations just unfolded on its own, I guess. It was October last year before winter started. For some reason, we kept meeting on places. It was so surreal, really. But that's what probably started our relationship."

"Huhh… I really didn't even know that you liked her. How did that even happen?"

"You're awfully curious today, Gin…"

"Well, the only thing I can do at the moment is be curious and inquisitive. I have too much to think of."

"H-Huh…

Anyway, it just naturally happened when I spent time with her. I'm just thankful that our feelings were mutual.

Are you finally going to confess to Ringo?"

"I repeat, I can only be curious and inquisitive. Her circumstances aren't really something to shrug off. If I don't go over things the best way, we'll just grow apart."

"…

You sounded just like a man there."

"Dunno what you're talking about, but I will be dealing with so many important things just to tell her my feelings. It's complicated… but being brutally honest, something inside me wants to meddle with her life in a sense. I just…

I just want to be someone that can save her."

"What a guy…"

"Well, enough of that, anyone you're seeing Jean?"

"What's with this forced change of topic…

But since you guys are being way too honest… you know Anna and Naru's friend from S1VA? The exchange student?"

"Ai Hikari, was it?"

"Yup, her."

"Does she even know you…?"

"Of course she does! She's actually planning on joining the club with some of her classmates apparently."

"Wait, seriously?"

▪ ▪ ▪

I finally got the motivation to take the initiative that I should have had before long, but in a way that would consider her feelings the most even before mine. I was finally able to close some distance between us, and I continued to talk to her with the words that came from the top of my head yet still weirdly from the bottom of my heart. I really wanted to help her, and it looks like there are some things that she does not want to talk about with other people, not even with Shiro. But because of that, I feel like I was able to establish a connection between her.

Truly, it does seem like my actions are trying to force myself to her life, but I have been too meddlesome to back down now. I at least want to make her feel that she is not alone, but even I am still wishing that she will see me the same way I see her.

Honestly… I am too cunning in some ways.

And when it finally reached the moment when Ringo realized the connection established between us… my world turned upside-down.

Ringo Akanami, once known as Code 019 from a confidential live experiment called Medical Children Program was the only survivor of that abomination. She also revealed that Ken Ichikawa was also a subject that has died due to the complications of his brain from that time that caught up to his waning life.

And on top of it all… the world-class doctor of the country, Rishou Kagetora, was one of the people behind that scheme—to gain international recognition in an expense of a hundred lives which was covered up with a facade.

Finally, I found the answers to my age-old questions. I finally discovered the reason why she has been suffering so much for so long.

But on top of everything… I was finally able to ascertain my feelings.

It goes without saying that I was in terror down to my core when I was listening to her weakening voice. But strangely, not even a thought of stepping back or running away visited my mind. I have meddled more than enough, as I have said. The only thing I can do was to charge forward.

But it was easier than done.

I was still weak. I was not able to completely swallow that fact. After that, I have been hearing shouts of agony in my sleep, I kept imagining episodes of the suffering that Ringo went through. I wanted to turn back time, but the huge weight of reality has donned on my back. No matter how I tried to reverse that process in my mind… what has happened has happened.

"You've locked yourself in your room for a while and haven't attended school for a few days.

I can lend you an ear."

"Uncle… I finally discovered my answers."

"…

Did that somehow change the way you think?"

"It… It sounds like I've been such a fortunate child all this time… while I am here just existing, I didn't know that so many people may have just been suffering all this time in so many ways… It feels like I have no right to live knowing that…"

"So we've come to this point…"

"Frankly, Gin… don't take this the wrong way, I am not scolding you; but you've overstepped your boundaries.

That is, in a sense that humans are ignorant of the reality, but you are not anymore. You've breached the place where you weren't supposed to be at—our place."

"Your place…?"

"It is not just one group, not only us, but it is the generalization. In my case, it just so happened that I have abandoned my distinction as a 'human.'"

He reached from his pocket and brought out a white handkerchief and handed it to me.

"That is the symbol that I am no longer a human in a sense. You can unfold it."

And so I did. I thought that it was only a cloth that is going to flail around, but instead, it snapped into an oval-like, transparent bowl.

"W-What is this…"

"Flip it on the other side."

Once again, I followed. From the outside, the surface showed an opaque, glossy white glass. In shock, I flipped it back only to see the clear transparency.

"Simply put, I'm an Exile, Gin.

It was a long story, but I was separated from your mom when I was a kid because of a scheme that Horach made. I was sent to an orphanage and became a rogue until I met her again with Amano. In that process, I've always thought that I was alone and that my family had given up on looking for me, I have always been shadowed by sadness to the point that I almost killed someone.

It was only when I met my wife when I began to change and faced Senna again.

…

The reason why we Exiles exist is because we are alone in this world. While some of us are alive, they have died in the surface, abandoned, and with no one going to look for them anymore. We are an accumulation of negative emotions that when in a pack, turned it positively and created an equal society that we would only keep to ourselves and not show the world.

But you are still a normal human, Gin. It is your choice to walk further down this path or turn back and never come back again. Because unlike me who has been stripped off of my choice, you still have the ability to decide on the things that we can't. I want you to decide on what you'll do next. Days have passed, so I hope that you have thought about it a lot. Instead of keeping it to yourself, tell me what you really want to do."

"…

I want to know… I want to know the way how the Exiles live… I want to know how they feel… I want to know how they see this world… I want to know all of them so that I wouldn't make the wrong choice.

I love Ringo, and I want her to see the world without fear. I wish for her to change the way she feels about people and make her see that not everyone is how she sees them, and not on a perspective that is of convention. And most of all… I want to be the person that would protect her."

"That's a good enough answer…

You see, a Subordinate is a title given to the 'humans' that have entered our place. I say that, but the only Subordinate in our entire history is your father."

"Wh- Dad…? How?"

"How else? Because I told him myself.

I'll let you see our people, so observe. I'll want you to know the difference we Exiles have from humans."

▪ ▪ ▪

By the time I have dilly-dallied, or taking my time discovering the life that the Exiles have, I have finally concluded to myself that they are indeed apart from us humans, whether it is culture, system, perceptions, or behavior. They may have openly feared my presence inside their underground base, but it was part of the long process. I finally understood now the agreement that they have made in front of this country. They did not need to be pulled back to the surface as their lives are finer the way they are now.

And with that in mind, I have finally seen the way that I will approach Ringo without hurting her, but potentially saving her.

I say that… but my confidence that it will actually save her is very low, knowing my powerlessness.

But all those time went by, and it is now November. The temperature has greatly decreased, and the snow is falling again. And on the eighth day of the month, today, I plan on confessing my feelings to Rin.

…

I endured the cold as I patiently stood just before the Akanami household, waiting for Ringo to come out, and then she really did.

"Can I go with you?"

Silently, she started walking on her slow steps but then stopped and turned around to look at me, who was still on a halt.

"…"

"I'm not a really sharp guy, Ringo."

Nevertheless, I started walking beside her on the silent street.

But this is one thing that I now totally regret. I have known her ever since the beginning of our fourth year, but this is actually the first time that we will be walking together to school. I have to be honest however, I didn't try to make a plan for today. That always happens—you try to come up with an exact plan only for it to go down the dumps when it comes down to it.

Well, who would not be nervous about this? It is just the start of the day, and all that is on my mind is her and the thought that I am going to profess my love to her. Is it actually natural to feel like this? Am I really going to be fine… or…

Is she really going to be fine after this…?

…

That's just how the way things go. The way I see myself, I have mustered up the courage, but on the very last moment, it feels like I am hitting an all-time low. All this confidence just disappears to thin air.

And what do you know, I have spent the entire day missing the chance to call out to her. It felt like I was not meant to meet with her for this day as several situations just stack up as though chances are making me diverge from my intentions.

"But… isn't this just fine…?"

This may actually be the best time. Ringo's mind is frankly, again, a mess. Just imagine how derailed she would be for the entire day if I suddenly confess to her, as it seems that the concept of romance is absent to her. But if we're talking, I've already been derailed ever since the morning and I absolutely did not pay attention to our classes; so I didn't want that to happen to her.

Thus, the school hours have ended.

"Sorry guys, gotta go."

"Woah, skipping club, huh?"

I once again took a stint on the cold as I sit idly on the benches under the old tree until I saw Ringo who as I thought also left the classroom immediately to go home. Just like this morning, the same thing goes again.

I am a kid who is so happy that I am going home with the person that I like. How seiso can that be.

But of all times, my stomach rumbled just when we were like a hundred meters away from our homes.

"D-Do you sometimes eat out, Ringo…?"

"Not really…"

"If it's okay with you… I know an udon shop not so far from here. My treat?"

"…

Okay…"

Didn't that brighten up my mood. Since our bags will just be dead weights for us, we momentarily went home and changed clothes although it's not really necessary. But deep inside, it feels like I am finally getting to have my time.

"Don't screw this up now, Gin Sakato…"

…

Is there actually a better combination than a hot soup and winter? Seriously, the experience just got so much better when eating food like this is on the season… and yeah, I'm just head over heels for her. I was able to observe some slips on her concealed emotions while we were eating. Suddenly, I was once again reminded by my late grandfather who has brought joy for us with his food. But sadly, I am still not able to do what he has done.

That being said, I was finally able to start the gears rolling. Instead of just coming back home after having our fill, I took a diversion and led her to the lake at Zen Park.

It was the perfect moment. Although the sun is not yet going to set, it was clear enough that the light is slowly dimming to an orange. For once, it was Ringo that suggested we sit on a dry stone while we continue watching the scenery.

As it is currently winter, there was not many people around the park. Truly, this place is the least suitable for this kind of season. But weirdly, it is going to my favor.

"…

You know, Rin… what I realized from knowing you for the past three years is that… I wanted you to live a happy life."

"G-Gin…?"

"I know that whatever we do, we can never take away and replace your past. I have come to think that that is something you will be holding upon growing up. But in my case, I will never forget that you have opened up to me and told me the things that have troubled you for so long. While it is your memories, I also have mine that has you in it.

While I can't make you forget about the things that have happened to you, I hope that I can give you new memories that can be able to overwhelm the pain you are carrying.

I am really selfish to want myself to be a part of your memories, but…

I truly love you, Ringo."

There is always a high chance that I will get turned down, or that she would go to an information overload. But regardless, I have always been clinging to those low chances, as I have always been doing my part as someone that tries to support her and know her the most.

But of course, I would never assume that things moving forward from this time will be favoring me. As if she was in utter awe, her eyes peeled opened and she was at a loss for words.

In my case, I suddenly remembered the moments, sweet or bitter, that has happened to Ringo from my perspective. It was almost unnoticed, but I have always thought that somehow, I was able to give Ringo a change, even if it was only a speck of it.

"Ringo, you don't have to be alone… and you don't have to bear all of your suffering inside you. Let them all out… I am here, so you don't have to hold back."

I was pained, and my heart throbbed painfully.

Her tears came out, in her still straight face, but she swept them all off. But her resistance notwithstanding, her tears appeared uncontrollably as I watch her expression slowly, very slowly change to a sorrowful one.

I was pained, but this was nowhere close to what she had gone through.

It was me that embraced her. I have always resolved that I wish to be the one that consoles her, will make her smile, and embrace her when she is in tears. I could not help myself. I could not help seeing her with such an expression in my presence again. I felt so useless, but I hope not today.

I wish to be the one that will put an end to this painful chapter of her life.

"Ringo… Can I be the one that will be beside you… when you need someone to listen when you let out your feelings?"

.

.

.

I did not get an answer.

The weather has gotten colder as the time started to get late, and so we departed from the view and found ourselves walking on our common streets.

But suddenly, she stopped me as she pinched the sleeve of my jacket. I did not realize, but the fingertips of her right arm have been reddened by the cold.

"Why did she remove her glove…"

Did I really ask myself that question, or am I just too overwhelmed to believe the correct answer to it? And all of a sudden, all my worries disappeared from my back. Thus, I removed the glove of my left hand and… you know how this goes.

A small yet cute shudder was outed, prompting me to see the great redness of her ears and cheeks as she stole glances of me. But actually… I think my face is just as warm.

"H-Has no one ever called you R-Rin…?"

"N-None… B-But… I like that name…"

"Can I call you that?"

"Yes…"

"Hahh… Thank you, Rin…

For an entirely different reason, thank you, Rin."

"N-No… I should be the one that should be thanking you more than I do… I've always taken for granted the things you have done for me… You even saved me… but I have never shown my gratitude to you.

I may not be familiar with this sort of thing… but I will try my best not to be a nuisance to you."

"You say that… but truth be told, I am the one who's always been trying to get close to you, to make you look at me. I am the selfish one here.

But even if that is case, I will always promise you that I will be your support. You just don't know, but you are a gentle light, but I will be the shadow for you.

Ahh… I suddenly got poetic."

"…"

No time to waste on my side. Even with great fear, I visited Rin's family timed before they retired for the night and asked their permission to be in a relationship with her. It was abrupt but the relief and happiness visited their images upon hearing my words. If anything, it felt like they were trying to show their gratitude in an unconscious way, and in the end, they gave me their blessing.

Might it be the happiest time of my life, I asked myself but did not answer.

▪ ▪ ▪

"Hey there, will be with family today so be the househusband that you always want to be! - Eijiro"

"I'd rather be that and as a provider at the same time…"

Soon enough, the house's doorbell rang a few times while I was drying my hands after a podcast episode and dishes to wash.

"Hi there."

"Thanks for having me again. Is Uncle not around today?"

"He's always been with his family these days so I'm always left here alone. Man, I wish I have a cat!"

"But I'm here…" she pouted.

"Ahaha, sorry, sorry. Well, make yourself at home, alright? I'll just prepare the kitchen in a bit.

Really, thanks for always teaching me."

"It's not a problem."

Well, look who has changed.

In a matter of what, four months, she suddenly changed. For some reason, she has gotten more sociable, or at least just with me; she started to initiate jokes on her own, and really… her once forlorn eyes have changed to a livelier one.

That is… without me doing much…

Is this telling me that she changed because of the way the things are now between us? Was it because she had seen a separation between being with friends and being with me? Anyways, I'm just so happy right now. It felt like I was able to obtain what I wished for her.

But saying that I am happy may just be too much of an understatement. Even I don't know how happy I am right now. Everything that has happened to me felt like a lifetime achievement as I have been very serious in the matter that concerns both of us. I can't really express it to words as even today things are still very complicated to me.

But reasons aside, who wouldn't be happy when you become together with someone you love?

Things indeed have changed. As though naturally, we've come and gone to school together, and sometimes with my sister. Speaking of her, Anna has surprisingly taken a liking to Rin seeing how quickly she closed their gap. We are not very obvious but it seems that our friends have taken a hint in our relationship, and so we announced ourselves which put them in immense surprise, especially for Rin.

But will all that being said… it still felt like there is still one single piece missing in the puzzle. It was not unknown, as I immediately took notice of it. But although Rin has greatly changed and she is very accepting of it, she still hasn't really opened up on many things… or she may not be able to.

…

As always, Uncle is once again out of the house, so the only thing that accompanies me is this kotatsu from Japan that he got from Principal Juushiro as a gift. And well, I am with Rin in this cold December day.

"Did you know that I can read your thoughts, Rin?"

"No, you can't."

"Yes, I can. Right now, you are thinking that 'I like you, Gin.'"

"That's just your imagination…"

"So… you don't like me?"

"N-No… That's… Of course I like you… We wouldn't be dating now if I don't…"

"I guess what she really needed was just a push… How dumb of me."

"I guess I'm going to drop the reading thing.

So say… can I know what you actually think or feel about our relationship?"

"I… I don't really know what I should say… Even if I try to, I'm not really someone that can express myself that easily…"

"…I see.

Then let me tell you how I feel about this, okay?

I am not exaggerating. I feel absolutely happy that I'm now with you. You see, I have actually liked you for some time. I know that you'd think that nothing is going on for you, but because you are you made me feel a duty or a responsibility that I placed on myself.

I accepted the way you were, because I wanted to save you from your past, and simple-mindedly because I just want to be with you, making great memories and such. Even right now, I always think that I have obtained a certain kind of fulfillment because all the effort I put into supporting you has finally paid off.

Please always remember that you can let out the pain you are feeling, and I also wanted to understand them, so that I can better support you.

It might sound like you're always on the receiving end, but that's not really true. Your life to this point is always a lesson and a realization for me. And because of that, I woke up to the many realities of this world and I was able to better understand your feelings.

As if I haven't said this enough… I love you, Rin."

How embarrassing. This time, I was the one who shed a tear first.

"Gin… You were the first person that has openly wanted to accept me for who I am. You didn't feel disgusted or hated me, but somehow you felt the opposite.

I have always been stuck in my past all those years, but you changed and gave me a new definition of life. When I wanted to die, you told me that it does not answer any of my problems. I didn't realize it, but you've always been watching me just like a shadow.

I learned new things and new emotions because you were there to tell me what they are, even though you can't answer all of them. I realize that we have feelings that I have but you don't, but even so, we can still come to an understanding.

Feeling my heart flutter was an entirely new thing for me, along with feeling of hurt and feeling jealous. There was something that I have always been missing, but I was able to find it because you came to my life.

For everything… I want to thank you and continue for the times that will come. As someone who has changed entirely the way I see my life… there will be no one else that can replace you, Gin."

"…

That's… I don't know what to say… It feels like this is the first time that my life has been given this much significance…"

"But you also gave me significance more than you think. I guess it is our responsibility to keep ourselves up turn by turn. I just don't want you to look at yourself the way I looked down on my own self.

We may not be born special, but isn't it fine to see each other like that?"

"…

Ahaha… Look at you now… This just tells that we are in equal footing. You've never been someone below me, but we are stepping on the same platform. But if ever we fall, let us help each other to get up, okay?"

"I will promise."

"If that is what you say… then I will promise you too."

Are promises really meant to be broken… or is it just how we have always seen it to be? In the first place, I don't think there is a future that is meant to be. And so we try our best to separate the bad tomorrows to the good ones.