Was it a drum beat, a very deep drum beat? Or was it hearts continuously throbbing loudly on the ears of the sharp one?

Fear. Fear so prime that not even the frills of the new world can overshadow. It was simply fear, rid of artificiality—nigh a blank slate. Pure, yet so powerful.

Only can Gin get a hint of the feelings of Rin from the audible heartbeat heard on his ears, if not for the also thundering heart of his. The mere seconds felt like an eternity to his accelerating mind as he watched the souring visage of the maiden, helpless, struggling to grasp the abruptness of the situation.

"G-Gin… Help…"

"…

C-Close your eyes, Rin…?" and so the frightened girl did.

On that, he gently touched the shin of the girl with his trembling hands.

"Can you feel anything?"

"N-No…"

Rin then opened her eyes, immediately gazing on the hand on her leg, and suddenly her eyes became damp.

But even before she could cry from her throat, Gin's arms raised her and all she could see was herself within a vanishing point inside a blur.

Last time she was in their house, now in an emergency room.

~ ~ ~

"Hmm… Did you keep track of how long this has been persisting, 027?"

"I didn't at start, but I would say it's already been four minutes."

Suddenly however, the unfeeling limbs began to receive the warmth that is being emitted inside the room contrary to the natural coldness of the season. The sudden tight grasp on the fabric over Gin's thigh worried him for a split second, but Rin began to attempt to put her weight on her foot on a struggle, while clenching her legs to support her upper body.

With hands tightly holding on to Gin's, she found herself standing back up.

"Oh, thank goodness…" and a sigh upon the deep voice resonated within the hospital room.

"That's reassuring to see… Should I interpret the things I found?"

"Please."

"I think the obvious reason would be temporary paralysis. You said that you weren't able to feel your limbs from your feet but not above the private regions. It's not totally accurate but there are many similar cases of that that I have encountered in the past few years as a rare symptom of WIR."

"If by chance, is it a severe case?"

"Not entirely. It is just the reaction of the body when the virus begins propagating. The nerves do not disconnect but certain body parts lose the ability to receive signals from the brain, but thankfully it does not affect major internal organs, or the lungs in the regard of WIR.

To be sure, we'll have to do the same procedure done for Mr. Katsuto so I'll ask Ms. Akanami to stay here for the meantime while the WIR tests are being processed. I will also recommend the family in the household to also be tested, but they are free to be outside. As always, we do quarantine even if the results came out negative.

Take your time, I'll just have to get a test kit."

…

"Hahh… That scared the life out of me…"

"Are you sure you're really okay, Rin?"

"I think… for the most part. I can probably move them fine now.

I'm sorry for worrying you."

"No, no. No one really expected this to happen."

"I guess I'll be taking a day or two of leave from the institute… I hope I can get some rest…"

"Just don't think about those things too deeply. I'll sort them out for you."

"Thanks.

You're really fine like that even in case I get the virus, huh."

"I guess so. I visited Hiro frequently but nothing happened to me."

"It's good that you're fine like this."

‹Gin›

Sadly, this isn't an ordinary world, at least from the perspective of both, or all the people I have gotten involved with. Indeed, if your lover suddenly falls down with paralyzed extremities, even if I did not stray away from the normal, it would still be no laughing matter.

But when you learn of the cruelty of this world, that's forever ingrained on you. I have done my utmost to put myself into Rin's shoes for so many years now. We truly have different pain, but in the end it still boils down to the same suffering. It has happened once, or maybe even more than that most likely. I have said this and I'll say it again, it fears me to know at heart the suffering that Rin felt in front of my crippling self—only enveloped in despairing thoughts, "disappearing, leaving, departing…"

Five years and all, yet I still believe that I would not dwell to this extent if I was not given this chaotic mind. If this gigantic scar on me would not be reason to my unending hunches, true or not, what am I supposed to to then?

"Thankfully, I can confidently say that Ms. Akanami tested negative from WIR."

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"I'll tell you straight already, Doc, that doesn't put me at ease."

"…

Yes… At this point I'm miles away from being able to make a conclusion, so I can only base on preexisting reasoning. I would recommend more tests for her to undergo, but she is free to take the leave for today."

"Appreciate your help, Doc."

"Anytime."

~ ~ ~

"You're not cold or anything, Rin?"

"Yeah. I think I can walk just fine right now.

…

Actually, my hands are cold. You're clenching your hands, so can you open up?"

"…"

Seriously, what in the world is up with this girl? I don't understand how she can easily get a read of me, but do I really need to?

"Hahh… Can't be helped."

"Ahaha… Both our hands are cold."

"They sure are…"

For the millionth time, I shall stress again that the world is unfair and unjust.

I used to hate smiles, whoever they come from. I especially felt disgusted seeing the smiles of my classmates in 4A so full of life, so vibrant; that it could probably turn my stomach upside-down.

It's not that I did not want to be happy, but I did not want this world to be. Sounds pretty evil of me, and I would also nod my head. Before I was who I am now, I was empty, then hateful, and then evil. If not for the control that I have established, I might have done something.

I didn't want to suffer alone. I wanted to pull people down in that dark bottomless pit. I wanted them to feel what I went through. Yet at the end of it all, I just wanted someone to understand my illogic.

'For every happy thing that happens to you, there is someone getting suffocated by the stress that the distorted mind forced to bring upon.'

Never did I realize that my past self will be the one glaring at myself, loathing me for the smiles I made. It is as if the world has told me that my time of suffering has ended, but now it is like it's going to be someone's turn.

Does it really look like that's going to rid me of that suffering? Doesn't it painfully just look like another page of the many in this atrocious cycle?

▪ ▪ ▪

It felt like I have finally found a solid reason as to why I did this move months ago.

But I'm anxious to the bone. I'm trying my best not to show my excessive worry. I valued my life now more than I did in the past, and value Rin's life more than I do my own. But amidst that assertion I can't afford to let myself go so easily, which is why I was finally able to say "I promise that I will go back home." And that is why I have to take care of Rin the way I take care of myself, or perhaps even more than that.

If I am to be very frank, this problem would have been resolved if she unfortunately contracted with the virus, but that was not the case. The condition that she has now does not have a reasoning or basis yet, which worries me so.

I have proven to myself that no matter how active or even normal my condition is, anything can happen, just like how I suddenly shut off to a superfluous slumber. Part of this cursed mind is imagining a vast field of possibilities, small or big, and acting with abundant caution along with the negative probabilities that it gives.

…

On the door of the small room came a series of knocks which immediately took over my attention and rushed to open it.

"Can we talk for a minute, Potato?" there stood Rin in front of me with her study glasses still on, and with a tray of tea on her hand.

"Uhh… sure?"

"Then don't mind if I do."

"Take a seat anywhere."

"Working on something today?"

"Yeah. Commission backlogs and requests from Stylo. How about you?"

"I was… studying but I gave up and came down."

"You're on leave, you know. Take a lot of rest. How are they anyway?"

"That's what I wanted to talk about actually, although my legs are just as fine."

"Okay…"

"I'd say that we've talked about this time and time again but… are you getting too worried, Gin?"

"I-It's… a natural reaction. Or rather… ever since we went to the hospital the other day… it felt like I had a premonition.

I can't even trust facts with the way I am for a long time now. Sometimes having an unconventional perception can go against me."

"Can I hear your thoughts about them?"

"You know the things that have happened to me, especially a few years back when I was nearly killed by my own mind. And you also know how I feel about the thought of things possibly changing in any moment, most importantly if it is drastic.

I know it's not healthy of me to think like this, so I'm really sorry for letting you down."

"No, it's only because your instincts were involuntarily changed, but I have seen you like this so many times that I can live with it with no question.

I also wish that nothing bad will happen to me, but even if something does, I know that you're here. And besides, I'm glad that it hasn't repeated and apart from that I feel just fine generally.

I can't tell you not to worry too much about it, but I just don't want it to be the reason of something happening to you. I know that you won't accept any jokes about this, so let's just hope that things will be fine."

"…

I really do hope so."

Most of the time I could assert that I have come triumphant in the end upon the greatest trials that I have gone through. But be that as it may, a vessel of despair will inevitably see the visions of hopelessness amidst its clinging to hope.

Quicker than I even imagine, the gray space in my mind has already begun to blink, flickering to black.

It was entirely different from my awareness of my own decline, and I should have made it clear to myself way back that it was never the same when I put my shoes to the perspective that sees my frailty.

Optimism is not my strongest suit. And the traits that have been dictated by my abnormal human nature can easily shatter the most fragile parts of me.

I cannot wait for the rainbow alone.

▪ ▪ ▪

In Rishou Kagetora's office.

"Hello, is this 027 speaking?"

"Yes, Doc? Did you get any findings?"

"I did not, but I ask of you to accompany Ms. Akanami for some series of tests hoping to finally find clear results. We can discuss a fixed schedule for that."

"How long is it going to take?"

"I would approximate a minimum of two hours as this is an extensive one, but unfortunately the results are not immediate as it will take some time to process."

"Alright. Do I get back to you or we can set a schedule right now?"

"Let's check if we have coinciding schedules."

"Noted, but then again I can just take a leave of absence. My boss is quite understanding."

"If that's truly the case… then maybe we can agree to Tuesday?"

"Sounds about right. I'll relay it to her after this."

"Thank you."

*beep*

.

.

.

Upon the end tone of the call, as if a train has been derailed right at the same moment…

"No… no, no…

This can't be… This shouldn't be, please… I don't want anything more to happen to them…

Someone… please save those two…"

▪ ▪ ▪

X-ray, MRI, and blood test are just some of the many things that a team of doctors instructed to have a diagnosis from Rin, which in turn will be placed under further scrutiny before the results reach our hands.

But I saw a dichotomy between the way they appear on the outside and their emotions inside. Behind the well-kept stern and straight expressions, what the heart says the otherwise. What I felt from beyond the normal auditory capacity was a probable beat of anxiety from what is supposed to be just requisite diagnostics. It could be that I am over-analyzing all that was happening as it may just be an ordinary situation for the medics, but once more, this eyes can only see a dark gray bed of clouds.

And thus, the day has come for when we are to return to the hospital with Rin having a few more instances of her paralysis persisting over the course of a couple of days.

"H-Huh… Where's Dr. Kagetora…?"

"I'm sorry to say but he is currently on a leave right now, Mr. Sakato.

My name is Kurt Snetr, acting as his representative to relay the results that surfaced from the prior examinations.

Please have your seats."

Faster.

The doctor's heart was much tenser than those that I observed from the examinations, yet he was still able to keep a mask worn in spite of that.

Drizzle.

Rain.

Downpour.

The doctor slowly slid the file folder containing the results on his desk towards us with a very deep breath and intentionally silent clearing of throat.

"Mr. Sakato, and most importantly, Ms. Akanami…

The examinations found out that you are diagnosed of BEF-1."