Once upon a time…

There was a Sultan. He was a harsh but fair man, and ruled well. His subjects were slightly afraid of him, but at least he didn’t overtax them, and executions were kept to a minimum. Things could have been worse.

This Sultan had a wife, who he loved more than anything in the world. She was very beautiful, and he showered her with gifts and adoration. She was the light of his life; everything he did was for her.

Until one day, when he discovered she’d been having an affair. Well, several affairs. She’d been cheating on him for like a decade.

This broke his heart. He had her executed (that was the law back then), and swore to never trust a woman again. Unfortunately, it was also law that he have a wife. He couldn’t avoid it. He didn’t want another wife, but laws were laws.

So the Sultan came up with a plan: he’d get married every afternoon, and then have his new wife strangled to death by the grand-vizier the next dawn.

…I’m sure he could have come up with a better plan if given time, but eh. It was certainly A plan.

Aaand that’s what he did. The Sultan had the grand-vizier go out every day and find a young woman for him to marry. And then the next dawn the grand-vizier got to strangle her in front of him.

At first everyone in the city was like “he can’t really mean to do that”. And then on Day Three they were like “oh crap he’s really doing this!” The city panicked, wondering how to keep their daughters safe. People wondered how many unmarried young women there were, and how young the Sultan would go to get a wife. It wasn’t a good time.

Now, the grand-vizier had two daughters, both with very difficult to spell names. The oldest daughter, Scheherazade, was smart, beautiful, cunning, and had been taught at the best schools around. She went to her father to ask for a favor.

“Of course,” he said. “I’ll give my favorite daughter anything within reason.”

She smiled. “Great! I want you to marry me to the Sultan tomorrow.”

“OH HECK NO! ‘WITHIN REASON’ I SAID, WITHIN REASON!!! This is NOT reasonable!!!!!!”

Scheherazade spent a good hour convincing her father she had a plan, and that it was much better than the Sultan’s plans. Finally he agreed, warning her that he’d rather die than strangle her himself, so if her plan failed they were both dead. She assured him her plan would work. And then she went to talk to her little sister.

The next afternoon, Scheherazade was married. Before night fell, she asked her new husband if he could grant her a favor.

He was like “maybe. What is it?”

She told him “I have a little sister who I love very much. Would it be possible for her to spend the night here, with us?”

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The Sultan thought it over, and decided that would be fine. So the little sister was called over for a slumber party.

The next morning, just before dawn, the little sister woke Scheherazade up. …And the Sultan, since he was there too.

The sister asked “hey, before you go die, could you tell me one last story? You tell super great stories!”

Scheherazade was like “of course I can tell you a story!” She sat up in bed, and started telling a fascinating tale about a merchant and a djinn.

Unfortunately, dawn came before she could finish her story. She left the merchant about to be murdered by the djinn, surrounded by three old men, a donkey, and two black dogs. They all claimed to have stories more interesting than the merchant’s story, but oh well. The Sultan and sister were doomed to never hear them, cuz it was time for Scheherazade to die.

The Sultan frowned, and decided “y’no, I’m getting tired of daily weddings. I’ll let you live one more night, just so you can finish your story. Then I’ll have your dad strangle you to death.”

Scheherazade was super thrilled and surprised about that, and promised to finish her story the next morning.

So, as promised, the next morning the little sister woke Scheherazade up and asked her to finish the story.

Scheherazade then told the tale of the old man and his donkey, which was really his wife. It was super interesting and funny, and the Sultan was glad he hadn’t killed her. She got to the end of that old man’s story, and had the old man with the two dogs promise (in-story) that his story was even more interesting! But sadly, his tale would never be told, cuz it was time for Scheherazade to die. Very sad.

The Sultan rolled his eyes and decided she could live one more day, just so he could hear what the deal with the two dogs was.

The next morning, Scheherazade told the story of the man and his two brothers, who were turned into dogs due to their own greed. It was a fascinating tale with a super good moral. But the third old man, who didn’t have any animals with him, just laughed and said his story was twice as interesting as the other two combined.

…Oh, if only it weren’t morning, meaning Scheherazade would die before telling it!

….Her death sentence was postponed another day.

This happened every night for almost three years. The Sultan enjoyed the stories, and after a while he couldn’t imagine waking up without hearing one. At some point the little sister stopped coming over, moving on with her own life. The grand-vizier stopped worrying about having to strangle his daughter. And the people in the city forgot about the Sultan threatening to murder all the girls.

After one thousand nights, one thousand stories, on the 1,001st night, Scheherazade told her final story.

It was the story of a kind man, a good Sultan, beloved by his people, who was betrayed by someone he loved. In his grief, he made an unreasonable decision. He scared his people, who didn’t know what to do. They knew he wasn’t usually this cruel, but if he kept his evil decree they’d have to take drastic measures to get rid of him. They asked the Sultan to, like, not, and waited for his answer.

The Sultan, the real Sultan, realized this story was about him. He also realized he really kinda loved Scheherazade, and didn’t want her to die.

That day, he sent out a proclamation. He announced his silly “marry someone then kill her the next morning” plan was dumb and he was sorry he’d come up with it. He also announced that Scheherazade was to permanently be sultaness.

The people rejoiced, asking that her stories be written down for everyone to have. This was done, and copies were sent to the farthest ends of the earth.

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Moral: Knowing lots of stories could someday save your life; read more.