Once upon a time…
There was a farmer with three sons. He decided it was time for the sons to get sweethearts and marry, so he sent them into the forest to cut down trees. He told them that whatever direction the tree fell in, that’s the direction they’d search for their future wives.
The oldest son had a crush on a hardworking girl who lived to the north, so he made sure and cut the tree so it’d fall pointing north. He succeeded, and ran off to see if she’d become his sweetheart.
The middle son kinda liked a girl he’d danced with a couple times at town festivals. She lived to the south, so he made sure the tree he chopped down fell aiming south. He did a good job, and ran off to ask if she’d become his sweetheart.
The youngest son, his name was Veikko, didn’t have a crush on anyone. He didn’t know which direction he should make his tree fall, so when it finally came down it pointed east, straight into the forest.
The brothers saw this, and laughed at him. They said he was doomed to find a sweetheart who was a fox or badger or something. Grumbling at his bad luck, Veikko wandered into the forest.
He didn’t know what he expected to find, but after an hour or so he came across an old, overgrown cottage. He pushed the door open, calling out in case a hot girl was inside.
Well, there wasn’t a hot girl, but there was a mouse sitting on an old table.
She looked at him and waved. “Hai!”
Veikko, not phased by a talking mouse, was like “hello. Do you know of any girls around here? My dad sent me into the forest to find a sweetheart.”
The mouse shook her head. “I don’t know any human girls, but I’m a girl! I can be your sweetheart!”
Veikko was like “...ok, yeah, sure, why not.” At least with this, he wouldn’t have to walk any more.
So he stayed for a while, getting to know his “sweetheart”, and eventually wandered home, promising he’d return.
When he got home, the dad asked his sons where they’d gone.
The oldest son said his tree had fallen pointing north, so he’d gone and talked to the farmer’s smart daughter in the farm to the north. She’d agreed to be his sweetheart.
The middle son said his tree had fallen pointing south, so he’d gone to the farm a ways south of theirs. The pretty blonde girl there had agreed to be his sweetheart.
Veikko said his tree had fallen pointing east. “So I went east and found a… girl dressed in velvet. In a cottage. She agreed to be my sweetheart.”
His brothers laughed, asking what a girl dressed in velvet would be doing out in the forest, but Veikko just shrugged. They joked that he’d found a lost princess, to which Veikko replied “maybe I have!”
The next morning, the dad called his sons to him. He said “I need to know that these girls will make good wives. They have to be able to feed you well. So ask your sweethearts to make you a loaf of bread, and bring it back here for me to inspect.”
The older sons asked Veikko if his “princess” could bake.
Veikko answered honestly. “I have no idea.”
…Now, I’m fairly confident I can make a decent loaf of bread, but still I’m glad that isn’t a required qualification to date someone nowadays.
Anyways, the two older sons went off, knowing their sweethearts could bake good loaves of bread. Veikko went into the forest, wondering if a mouse knew how to bake. He suspected she didn’t.
When he got to the cottage, the little mouse girl was sitting on the table again. She saw him, and was thrilled he’d come back! Honestly, this was the most excited anyone had ever been to see him, and that made Veikko happy.
She asked about his day, and how his dad and brothers were, and finally he told her the bad news.
He said “my dad wants all our sweethearts to bake a loaf of bread. I know that’s not fair of me to ask you, but-”
“Why do you think I can’t bake?” she asked. “I can bake! Watch!”
She ran to a drawer and opened it, pulling out a tiny silver bell. When she rang it, mice started streaming into the room. Soon the floor was covered in mice, all watching her attentively.
“My fine friends,” she said, standing as tall as she could, “I need wheat. The best wheat you can find.”
And just as quickly as they’d come, the mice scattered.
The mouse girl asked Veikko if he could be so kind as to start the oven, since she was afraid fire would singe her fur. By the time he’d got the fire under the oven nice and big, the mice had returned with plenty of wheat kernels.
It took a while, but eventually the little mouse girl made a lovely loaf of white bread. It was the best-looking loaf Veikko had ever seen, and he was properly impressed. He praised her, thanked her, and went home.
That evening, the dad asked his sons to show him the bread their sweethearts had made.
The oldest son produced a nice, solid loaf of rye bread. The father approved of it, saying rye was an excellent bread for hardworking farmer folk.
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The middle son brought out a loaf of barley bread. The father looked it over, and said “barley bread is also good.” Which to me sounds like he was kinda disappointed.
And then Veikko showed them his loaf. The father was like “whoa, now here’s some fancy, rich people bread!”
The brothers, having gone from teasing to jealous, asked how the “princess” managed to make such a nice loaf of bread.
“Well,” Veikko said, “she rang a silver bell, and ordered her servants to bring her wheat. They brought it, I started the oven, and she made bread.”
The brothers sneered, saying he’d bought the loaf at a bakery in town.
The next morning, the dad called his sons to him. He said “I have one more test of good housewifery your sweethearts must complete before you marry them. Go and ask them to weave you a square of cloth.”
The older sons, confident that their sweethearts could weave, said that a “princess” wouldn’t even know what a loom was. They left, laughing at Veikko.
…I know the basic principles of weaving, and if someone gave me a loom I could probably figure it out, but all the same I’m glad I don’t have to make cloth. Then again, I’m also glad I have the internet, and don’t have to weave to entertain myself. If I didn’t have cat videos I probably would take up weaving.
Anyways, Veikko was pretty sure a mouse couldn’t weave. He went to the cottage in the woods, and again the little mouse girl was absolutely thrilled he was back. She was tickled pink that his dad had approved of her bread, and offered to make another loaf for him.
Veikko was like “no, today he wants our sweethearts to weave a square of cloth. I’m sorry if you can’t, but-”
“I can weave!” she squeaked, running to the drawer. “Watch!”
She rang the silver bell again, and soon mice filled the room. She asked them very politely to find the finest flax fibers around. They scattered.
While they were away, she asked Veikko to help her set up the loom. It was in the back, under a fallen beam. Once he pulled it into the middle of the room, they inspected it and decided it would work.
Soon mice started coming back, bringing with them strands of fine flax. The mouse girl… did whatever it is that’s needed to turn flax into cloth, and eventually she had a beautiful square of finest linen. She folded it, putting it in an empty walnut shell for him. It… was some seriously thin cloth.
Veikko went home, carrying the walnut shell in his pocket. He wondered how his brothers would react to this, and how they’d react when they found out his sweetheart was a mouse. Because darn it, he liked the mouse. Sure, there would be a bit of difficulty with convincing people an interspiecies relationship like that could work, but they’d figure it out.
When he got home, the dad asked his sons to show him the squares their sweethearts had woven.
The oldest son brought out a square of cotton cloth. It was thick and rough, but the dad declared it acceptable.
The middle son pulled out a much nicer square of mixed cotton and linen. The dad nodded, approving of this square much more than the previous square.
Semi-reluctantly, Veikko pulled out his walnut shell. Ignoring his brothers, who had burst out laughing, he opened it up and unfolded the linen.
It was twice as big as the other squares, and much nicer. The dad praised Veikko’s sweetheart, saying she was clearly the best out of any other potential wife.
The next morning the dad declared it was time. He wanted the sons to bring their sweethearts to him, so he could meet them in person.
The older two ran off, ready to introduce their sweethearts to the family. Even though they lived in a town of like 200 people and the dad already knew these girls.
Veikko… was much more reluctant. He went into the forest, thinking hard. He was about to decide he couldn’t introduce his family to a mouse when he got to the cottage. The mouse girl was waiting in the doorway, and jumped for joy when she saw him. He smiled, and decided, screw it. Fate had pushed his tree to point towards her, so he’d go ahead and marry her.
He told her how impressed everyone had been with the cloth, which thrilled her to pieces. She ran to the drawer where the bell was kept, asking what she needed to make today. She loved making things for her sweetheart!
Veikko was like “umm, actually, today… my dad and brothers would like to meet you.”
“Wonderful!” she squeaked, and rang her silver bell.
Again, the room filled with mice. This time she pointed to individual mice, giving them specific orders.
Soon she had a fine carriage waiting for her in front of the cottage. It was made out of nut shells, drawn by four black mice, with white mice as the driver and footman. It was the best darn mouse carriage ever made.
So they started on their way to Veikko’s home, Veikko slowly walking next to the carriage with his sweetheart in it. They got to a previously unmentioned river, where a local farmer was crossing the bridge in the opposite direction.
The farmer saw the mouse carriage, pointed, and laughed.
Veikko stopped, embarassed.
“I’ve never seen anything like that before,” the farmer said. And kicked the carriage into the river.
Veikko was like “NOOOOOOO” and ran over, dropping to his knees at the edge of the bridge.
The farmer shrugged, wondered if Veikko was insane, and went about his day.
Veikko was super upset about this. He couldn’t see his mouse sweetheart, and presumed she’d drowned.
As he was lamenting his loss (and wondering how he was going to explain this to his brothers), a golden carriage pulled by four black horses came out of the river. It pulled up to Veikko, and the beautiful human woman inside asked if he’d like to join her.
“Wha?” Veikko asked.
“You weren’t ashamed to spend time with me as a mouse, are you ashamed of me as a human?” she countered.
Veikko was like “waitwaitwait… You’re the mouse?!”
She was like “yep! An evil witch put an enchantment on me that could only be broken if I became a man’s sweetheart and then was drowned by a different man. Today those conditions have been met, and if you go back to the cottage you’ll find my castle restored to its full glory. But before then, let’s go meet your dad!”
…Yes, those are oddly specific conditions, but it’s better than the typical “true love’s kiss” that The Beast’s witch relied on. I mean, falling in love is one thing, but then getting someone to drown you after? Highly unlikely to happen. Especially if you can’t tell anyone what the conditions are. Overall, I approve of this witch.
Where was I? Oh right.
So Veikko climbed into the carriage, and they went to his dad’s farm.
His brothers were already back with their sweethearts, and everyone was shocked when the carriage pulled up. Veikko got down, helping his sweetheart down after him.
His brothers were like “holy crap he really did find a princess.”
His dad, equally surprised, was like “I don’t know who you are but please marry my son.”
The princess agreed, of course, and they were married. The other sons also married their sweethearts, and everyone lived happily ever after.
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Moral: Judge a potential partner by their cooking and sewing skills, not their looks.