Once upon a time…

There was a girl who was kinda sold by her dad to a bear who was secretly a prince. He slept with her every night, until her mom told her to light a candle and see who he was. When she did, he was magicked away to the castle east of the sun and west of the moon. She felt bad, and set out to find him. Three witches gave her a golden apple, golden comb, and golden spinning thing, and the last one told her to go to the East Wind’s house.

So she did.

When she got to the East Wind’s place, he was just getting off work. She asked if he knew where the castle east of the sun and west of the moon was.

He was like “I’ve heard of it, but have never blown that far. My brother, the West Wind, he might know where it is. Here, get on my back, I’ll take you to him!”

So the girl, after sending the horse home, got on the East Wind’s back and rode to his brother’s house. It took a very long time.

When they got to the West Wind’s house, he was just sitting down to dinner. He invited them in, as was polite, and offered to share his meal. They accepted, and while they ate, the girl asked if he knew where the castle east of the sun and west of the moon was.

The West Wind thought it over, and said “nnnno, I don’t, I’ve never been that far. But my brother the South Wind is stronger than I am. He might have been there once or twice. When we’re done eating I’ll take you to his house.”

She thanked him, and they finished eating.

The East Wind thanked his brother for the help, and went back home. The girl climbed on the West Wind’s back, and rode to the South Wind’s house. It took a very, very long time to get there.

When they arrived, the South Wind was just about to leave for the day. He saw his brother and stopped, squinting.

The West Wind stopped, introducing the girl to his brother before collapsing in a nearby chair. The girl asked if the South Wind knew where the castle east of the sun and west of the moon was.

The South Wind scratched his chin. “Kinda. Obviously it’s east of the sun and west of the moon, and I know where the troll’s archipelago is, but the castle specifically… I dunno. Never been out that far. But my brother the North Wind, he’s the strongest out of all of us. If anyone knows where it is, it’s him.”

And then, as he had nothing better to do, he offered to take the girl to his brother.

She gratefully accepted, and climbed onto his back. They said farewell to the West Wind, and flew to the North Wind’s home. It took a very, very, very long time.

When they arrived, the North Wind was asleep. Being polite, they sat outside and waited for him to wake up on his own.

When the North Wind finally got up, he was very cranky. He didn’t like mornings, he didn’t like visitors, and he especially didn’t like morning visitors. But when the girl asked if he knew where the castle east of the sun and west of the moon was, he paused.

He squinted at her. “Are you the girl who was supposed to marry the prince?”

“Yes,” she answered.

He nodded slowly, thought it over, and sighed. “Ok. I can take you there. It’s a super long way, and we’ll be flying over water. When we get there, I’ll basically pass out for a day or two, so you’ll be on your own with the trolls. Do any of those things make you afraid?”

She wasn’t afraid, and said so. The North Wind told her to get on his back.

They said goodbye to the South Wind, and the North Wind flew up. He flew high above the clouds, to where even birds don’t go, and soared out over the ocean. They flew a very, very, very, very long time.

Even having gone up so high, by the time the castle came into view, the waves were starting to touch the North Wind’s boots.

It’s a good thing he wasn’t carrying anything incredibly heavy, like a solid gold spinning wheel, or they might have drowned…

Anyways, they crash-landed on the shore, rolled a few times, and the North Wind instantly fell asleep.

The girl pulled him into a cave above the waterline to rest, and walked out to explore the outside of the castle.

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She couldn’t see much. Castles aren’t known for big, open windows and multiple easily-accessible entrances. But she did spot a window which she was pretty sure was the princess’ room. So she sat on the beach in full view of it and started playing with her solid gold apple.

After a while, the window opened. A hideously ugly troll princess with a very long nose stuck her head out and shouted. “Hey! Human! You have a shiny! I want! Give!”

The girl looked up and was like “I’ll trade it to you for a night with the prince!”

The troll princess thought about it, and decided “fair trade! At dusk I’ll let a rope ladder out down his window!”

So the girl waited, and at dusk a rope ladder dropped out a window. She climbed up, and found herself in a room with the prince and princess. She gave the princess the golden apple, and the princess left.

The girl went to the prince, but he was asleep! She tried everything to get him to wake up, but when dawn came he was still sleeping soundly.

The princess returned, and told her it was time to go back out the window.

The girl thought all morning, trying to figure out how to get the prince to wake up. As she thought, she absently combed her hair with the gold comb.

At some point, the troll princess noticed. She opened her window and shouted “hey! Human! Shiny! Give!”

The girl looked up and offered the same trade as before, which was instantly accepted. A few hours later, the rope ladder was dropped down, and she climbed into the prince’s room. She handed over the comb, and the princess left.

Again, the girl tried everything to wake this guy up. Eeeeeverything. But when dawn came, he was just as asleep as he’d been at dusk.

The princess came back, and the girl had to leave.

That day, the prince’s servants told him about the girl. Presumably he had some questions about the state he’d been in when he woke up. He knew it must be the girl he’d kidnapped bought slep- y’no, there’s just no good way to put that.

Anyways, he knew it had to be her. The servants told him the troll princess had been drugging him with a sleeping potion every night. So that night, when she came up with his dinner, he quietly tossed the drink into a handy potted plant.

Meanwhile, the girl had continued thinking of things to get him to wake up. The North Wind wasn’t being helpful, so she went to the beach and played with her gold drop spinner. The princess saw it, and the same trade was made. That night, she climbed up the rope ladder, handed over the spinner, and was left alone with the prince.

But! This time, when the princess left, the prince sat up!

He was like “I knew it was you! I’m so happy to see you! My wedding to the horrible troll princess with the long nose is tomorrow!”

And the girl was like “oh no! What can I do?!”

He thought it over, and came up with a brilliant plan. He told her “the shirt I’m in is the same one I came in. Meaning it still has those three drops of wax on it. I’ll ask the troll princess to clean it, and when she can’t (cuz everyone knows trolls can’t wash clothes), I’ll say I won’t marry a girl who can’t hand-wash a shirt. Then they’ll say it’s impossible to clean, and I’ll ask you to come in. You clean it, and I’ll marry you!”

…It-

……Look, this is a story with anthropomorphised wind and reverse werebears, I’m not gonna bother questioning the logic of this plan.

Anyways, the girl agreed, and they spent the night… together. Ok so, before, it never directly implied anything NSFW with them sleeping together. Here it kinda does. I’d really feel better if the original authors had mentioned everyone’s age. Or at least if they’d specified she was the oldest daughter, not the youngest.

Aaaaaanyways, when dawn came around, the prince pretended to be asleep again. The troll princess came in and sent the girl out.

The trolls prepared for a wedding. They brought the prince out to their chapel or whatever, and he immediately said he couldn’t marry the princess.

“Why not?” they asked.

“My shirt is dirty,” he answered. “See? It has these three drops of wax on it. Can’t get married in a dirty shirt. And I can’t marry a girl who can’t wash clothes. If the princess washes out the wax, then I’ll marry her.”

The trolls thought this was perfectly reasonable, and had him take off his shirt. The princess took it to a nearby sink, and tried to wash out the wax.

It didn’t work.

She scrubbed and scrubbed, but if anything it just got worse.

Finally her mother was like “give that here,” and tried getting it out. But the wax still didn’t wash out.

A troll maid was called, but she didn’t have any better luck. Soon every troll in the castle was screaming, trying to get the hekkin wax out.

Finally the prince was like “enough! Sheesh! None of you know how to was a shirt? There’s a beggar girl out on the beach, I bet she can do it, no problem! If she does, I’ll marry her!”

So the trolls brought the girl in. They handed her the shirt, and instantly it became clean. Like, she just touched it, and poof. Perfectly clean shirt.

The trolls got so mad they all exploded.

Then the prince married the girl, and they lived happily ever after.

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Moral: Make sure you know how to hand-wash a shirt.