"I think there may have been a miscommunication," I said, lying in Akane's bed.

"All of us were talking excitedly about a sleepover," Lisa said, lying on top of me like a weighted blanket. "What did you think was going to happen?"

"That y'all were going to be normal about this," I said. "My mistake."

"When have any of us ever been normal?" Nicky asked, wrapped around my side and nestled under my arm.

"Normal is for straight people," Akane added, in an identical position on my other side.

"Compelling arguments, one and all," I said. "Just be aware that, at any time, I will finish digesting that stew, and have to get up and go to the bathroom."

"Love is being fine with someone getting up in the middle of the cuddle puddle to take a shit," Akane said. "And everyone loves you."

"Gay ass," I said.

"Maybe so, but that doesn't change the fact I love you, specifically," Akane said.

"So do I," Nicky added. "I don't tell just anyone that I'm a vtuber, after all."

"...You are?" Lisa asked. "I mean- look, Roxy, I love you too, I didn't just put on the maid outfit and bring you lunch because I was committed to the bit, but- Nicky, you're a vtuber?"

"Yeah?" Nicky said. "I thought you knew already."

"No! Which one?"

"GreaseKitty."

"...You're the one who cracked my egg," Lisa whispered.

"Oh hey," Nicky said. "That does explain why you're always cosplaying as my fox avatar."

"Y- you recognized it?" Lisa asked, her ears wilting.

"It looks good on you," Nicky said, reaching up to scratch Lisa's ears.

"Okay, yeah, that was worth seeing," I said. "Next stream, Lisa should go in chat and loudly declare that she's slept with Nicky."

"Oh god," Lisa said, cringing into herself even further. "I thought that guest star talked a lot like you!"

"I love you," I said. "I love my bimbo foxgirl maid who brings me burritos at lunchtime."

"Fuck you," Lisa said, half-affectionately.

"And I guess I also love the vtuber who cracked her egg, and the mad scientist who housebroke the vtuber," I added, patting Nicky and Akane's sides- being as my arms were resting along their backs, it was kind of awkward to safely put my hands anywhere.

"Wow, you really love all of us?" Akane said. "You should join a polycule about it."

"Akane," Nicky said, pleadingly.

"Oh don't act like you're not gagging for it too, Princess," Akane said.

"We agreed that we would gently encourage Roxy to open up about what's really wrong," Nicky said.

"How come I, the only top in this house, am the one getting tag-teamed?" I complained.

"Thirsty girls make do," Lisa said.

"You have that meme in this universe too?" I asked.

"Honestly, half of our meme culture turns out to come directly from A-510 Tumblr and TikTok," Lisa said. "Someone over there did something that means there's a memes-from-another-universe.tumblr.com that just posts shit from A-510. Nobody knows why. Some people argue it's bad for our own memetic diversity."

"Not the point," Akane said. "Look... Roxy, you know we can talk to you, right?"

"That-" I blinked, as my brain short-circuited. "Wait, what?"

"You know that all of us here trust you and are close enough to you to talk to you about our own problems, right?" Akane said.

"Yyyyyes?" I said cautiously.

"And, because relationships are a two-way street, even if not perfectly, we should, therefore, be the best candidates for you to talk to about your own problems, right?"

"Ordinarily, yes, but in this case, you are not at all subtle about your ulterior motive. I cannot trust you to not react with a tantrum when I tell you why you cannot have my dick."

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

"We figured you might say something about that," Lisa said, sliding off of me and onto Akane. "Which is why Nicky and I made some preparations."

"You wh-mrphl!" Akane sputtered as Lisa stuffed a ball gag into her mouth, followed by tying her wrists with bondage rope. "Mrrrm!"

"Hush, now," Lisa said. "You don't get to participate in this conversation anymore."

"...That's one way to do it," I said, blinking and edging away from Akane and Lisa, and in the process pressing up against Nicky. "Ah, right, you're there. Uhhh..."

"We only had the one gag," Nicky assured me. "We are... aware that Akane can be a little pushy with you."

"If I had to guess, it's because of that time I told her that I was reluctant to throw around the full force of my personality to get my way," I said. "Of course, that reluctance is very contextual, so..."

"So, we're going to ease off," Nicky promised. "You're obviously feeling tense and cornered right now. That's a shitty thing to do to anyone, let alone a loved one who you have to trust to have your back in a fight."

I sighed, letting my head fall back onto the pillows. Nicky cuddled in closer, which I tolerated, and Akane made some muffled whines of protest that more or less stopped when Lisa started cuddling her.

I huffed lightly. Looks like maybe they did take at least some of my advice, and were directing their affections towards each other.

Better them than me.

"Hey, Roxy," Nicky said quietly. Christ, what is it this ti- "Key lime pie is your favorite, right?"

What.

"I- uh-" I blinked, a little caught off-guard. "...Kinda? I like it, it's easy and cheap, and it's a crowd-pleaser, so... Hell, if any pie is my favorite, it'd be key lime. It's got that nice tang, the creamy sweetness, a bit of an herbal note from the limes, and the crunch of the crust... But, well, sometimes you just want the complete overkill of a chocolate cream pie."

"Makes sense," Nicky said. "How about apple pie? Or any of the other classic fruit pies?"

"Most of them are alright, but I don't super like them, y'know? I'll eat 'em if they're available, but... I prefer a more consistent texture to my dessert pies. I also just don't like blueberries. Ooooh, but I do love a good pumpkin pie- not sure if you'd count it as a fruit pie, but they're popular at Thanksgiving alongside apple pies and all that shit."

"Fuck, pumpkin pie is my favorite," Lisa said. "If we're doing anything for Thanksgiving, we need a pumpkin pie."

"Sounds good to me," Nicky said. "I'm partial to pumpkin myself."

"It's a good pie," I said.

"I also liked that key lime pie you made when Akane's moms came to visit," Lisa added. "You need to make more of those. Maybe for a Super Bowl watch party- you hear next year's is supposed to be really hype? I'm hearing rumors about the halftime show."

"Honestly, at this point, the only way they'd live up to the hype is if they convinced my mom to do a striptease," Nicky said.

"Can we please talk about literally anything else?" I said. "Like... I don't know. Why you felt the need to ask me about pies in the first place?"

"Oh, that's easy," Nicky said. "I like learning things about you, and what makes you happy. Your joys are pretty quiet, so... I wanna fill your days with more of them."

"But why?" I asked. "How the fuck did I trick you into liking me so fast?"

"You didn't trick me into anything," Nicky said. "I love you on purpose, with both eyes open. I've seen that you can be kind and cruel. I've seen you take a gentle tone and a harsh hand. And I decided to love the woman who taught me humility and then held me close, when I felt I could truly understand you."

"Clearly you don't understand enough," I said. "I've been in a relationship before, okay? I've had a girlfriend before. And I was a terrible boyfriend! I was a selfish lover who didn't care about what she wanted, who never wanted to take her anywhere nice or show her a good time. I just wanted someone to kiss and grope who'd occasionally suck my dick. So she dumped my dumb ass, and I've never been stupid enough after that to try inflicting myself on anyone else."

I sniffed, pushing back against the prickling at my eyes.

"I just... hold myself apart. Because I am, fundamentally, inadequate. I am not good enough. You all deserve better than me. Better than a shitty, inattentive asshole who doesn't know how to interact with people properly. Better than a perpetual outsider who takes what she wants and runs."

"Hey, hey, easy," Nicky said, nuzzling her head into my shoulder. "Look, I don't know all the details, but you know what I do know? I know how you've acted lately. I know how you've conducted yourself with me, with Lisa, with Akane... Remember those late nights cuddling and talking about my problems, that you fully anticipated never being around to see through to the end, that you could've just left well enough alone? And how you didn't, because you did care about me?"

"And how you've treated me the same way?" Lisa added. "And Akane, too? Don't give me that shit- you do care about what we want, you do pay attention. How fucking long ago was that relationship, anyways? Because if you were a teenager, then, yeah, no shit it kinda sucked. Everyone kinda sucks as a teenager. You're twenty four now. You're better than that, and I've seen it with my own two eyes."

I blinked, staring at her, then looked at Akane and remotely unlatched her gag, desperate for some countervailing force.

"I've only seen inside your mind the one time," Akane said. "But I did like what I saw. Enough to take a risk on you."

"Fuck," I whispered.

"You're not an outsider here, Roxy," Akane continued. "You are what our household is built around. We love you. We need you. Please don't leave us."

"You don't need me," I said, weakly.

"We do," Nicky said. "We can figure all this out together. It doesn't have to be tonight, or tomorrow, or anytime soon. We have the rest of our lives together to figure everything out, one step at a time, together as one."

"Together as one," Lisa and Akane chorused.

Was this it? Was this what was finally going to break my streak? My own little private slice of heaven with three weirdos weird enough to match me?

I blinked.

We were all outsiders, clustering together in warmth and understanding. But with each other... we didn't have to suffer alone, anymore.

Understanding flooded through me like I'd just shot up with sunshine and hugs.

"Together as one," I said, as my accidental Thesis completed.