"We've been putting out fires for the past few days, and things are mostly returning to normal," I said. "Although, as you can see... some changes are likely to be permanent."
Our robot maid was still diligently unfucking the tumbleweed Akane had made out of half a Radio Shack- which was a lot bigger on B-944 than it was back home- and separating the parts into an organizer.
"Powers generally do not just go away," Veronica said, nodding.
It was about six in the evening on Saturday, and Veronica Vega, also known as Lady Venus when in costume, had walked in the door five minutes ago. She was tall, standing barely an inch shorter than myself, and generally looked... Well, I should start with 'Supergirl Knockoff' as a baseline. White, blonde, large breasts. But there were very visible differences. Her skin wasn't the light tan or pinkish sort of white you normally saw, and her hair wasn't the yellow-gold color we normally called blonde. Her hair and skin both were white as bone, and her eyes were a disconcertingly bright blood red.
Veronica Vega was no mere Supergirl Knockoff. Veronica Vega was a Supergirl Knockoff with a very visible genetic disorder called Oculocutaneous Albinism, Type 1-A.
And yet I was the one wearing sunglasses. I suppose her eyes worked just fine. Her mother was an alien with alien technology, after all.
Of course, aside from the odd coloration, she was still built like a comic book superheroine; someone with such visible muscles probably shouldn't also have boobs barely smaller than her head, but I wasn't a real doctor, so what the hell did I know?
I hummed, tilting my head back to consider the issue. The human head was a common point of comparison for breasts, but I wasn't convinced it was a terribly accurate one; breasts were, roughly, hemispherical in form factor; visually evaluating their size relative to the head was complicated and error-prone.
"Is something the matter?" Veronica asked, reminding me that we were, nominally, carrying on a conversation.
"Sorry, lost in thought," I said, not wanting to admit that I had, technically, been distracted by the color of her eyes and the size of her tits. "Akane tells me you two were college roommates?"
"As recently as two months ago, yes," Veronica said, nodding. "I graduated, and felt it appropriate to go on a bit of a walkabout; with my power, all I truly need is a wallet and a map of hotels."
"Akane's mentioned, vaguely, that you can fly," I said. "If it's not a horribly personal question, would you mind if I asked for more details about your power?"
"It varies from hero to hero," Veronica said. "In my case, however, the bloodline power of the Royal House of Vega is more or less public knowledge. More than flight, our power is gravitas. Weightlessness and motion, but also durability, strength, and an air of authority. I appreciate your composure, incidentally- it typically takes time for someone to be able to casually converse with royalty."
"Ah, that," I said. "Well, as it so happens, I am apparently very psychically-insensitive." Which was... kinda true? To an extent? I had a psychic shield in my head, at any rate, and so I really was effectively immune to any mind-altering influence her power might have. However, that wasn't a natural state of affairs, and I didn't want her to know I was a demiurge myself, so... "Anyhow. Gravity, huh? I suppose that makes sense- you are, after all, very attractive."
Veronica closed her eyes and tilted her head back, a grimace forming as she did, before she reached her apex and groaned dramatically.
"Not a fan of puns?" I asked.
"I adore wordplay most ardently," Veronica said, lowering her nose and opening her eyes. "However, I also understand the etiquette of wordplay; to not groan or threaten your life would simply be rude."
I nodded. "Yes, yes, I think we'll get along just fine."
"Alright, milkshakes are ready," Akane said, turning off the blender and walking out of the kitchen with a tray carrying three glasses with frosty condensation on them. "Roxy, thanks for picking up ice cream on the way home."
"No problem," I said, accepting the milkshake she handed me. I'd picked key lime pie for my flavor; chocolate was a perfectly serviceable flavor, don't get me wrong, but the sweet tang of lime custard was the best thing ever crafted by human hands.
"And Nicky, I saw this in a youtube video-"
"Oh my god it's a fluffernutter milkshake," Veronica whispered, after taking her first sip. She turned to face Akane, starry-eyed. "I love you," she said, genuine and heartfelt. Apparently that was all it took to get through the royal exterior.
"We all do," I said, reaching up and patting the top of Akane's head. "She's fantastic."
"Gay," Akane said.
"Aren't we all?" I asked, looking around.
"Bisexual, in point of fact," Veronica said, taking a brief break from making love to her milkshake.
"Oh, huh," I said.
"Roxy's great too," Akane said, finally sitting down. "She made pancakes for me, the first morning after she moved in."
"What can I say, you inspired me," I said.
"Hm?"
"Stacked."
"Oh, pft."
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
Veronica groaned some more.
"Really, we should've seen this coming," Akane continued. "I mean, come on Nicky, she named herself after updyke, for crying out loud."
"What's updyke-" Veronica said, before her eyes went wide. "Oh n-"
"Nothin' much, what's up with you?" Akane and I crowed in chorus.
"You're both awful and you deserve each other," Veronica declared, groaning.
"Thank you for your service," Akane said solemnly.
"Does this make us your comedy harem?" I asked.
"...Why would it..." Veronica began.
"Because you're the straight man."
Veronica groaned dramatically, and Akane burst into peals of laughter, falling back and leaning against me. Despite myself, I couldn't help but grin.
"I am going to punch you," Veronica declared.
"I'm a third degree black belt, I'm not scared of you," I said as though it were a lie.
"Ah, you do martial arts?" Veronica asked.
"Enhhh... I used to," I lied, because not three hours ago I'd executed a textbook ura nage throw on a prospective bank robber- long story, don't ask. "It's been a while; I'm still pretty in shape, but they've probably forgotten my name at the dojo at this point." I decided to redirect the conversation. "So, fluffernutter milkshake, huh? You from New England?"
"Indeed. Cape Cod up in Massachusetts," Veronica said, nodding. "Neither of my parents were local, though, and so I don't really have the accent."
"Oh, hey, Cape Cod," I said. "I've been up there, back when I was in high school. Got this jacket at a military surplus shop up in Provincetown, actually."
"Ah, lovely. A small world, truly."
"So, where to next on your walkabout?"
"Well, in point of fact, it is now coming to an end," Veronica said. "Earlier this week, I received a call from Valiant, who wanted me for a job here in Austin. Apparently, someone from Earth A-510 violated the closed borders treaty, and he needs an extra pair of hands to look into it." She sighed. "If only he'd been quicker on the draw. I could have moved back in."
I carefully did not say or emote anything, because we were all quite aware that I was the reason Veronica couldn't just move back in with Akane. I had perfectly valid reasons why I was okay with that- as much as Veronica seemed like a fun person to inflict my sense of humor upon, she was a superhero who was charged specifically with finding me and deporting me. However, expressing those perfectly valid reasons would be disastrous.
So I dodged the subject.
"A-510 is the one with the vampires, right?" I asked, feigning ignorance. "Why not just call in that one sunshine guy? The, uh... fuck, what were they called? The one with the sunlight powers?"
"Her name is Solar, and we're not convinced it was a vampire that came through," Veronica said. "We do not know much about Earth A-510, but we do know that they have their own superscientists, as well as wizards of... some sort. What all of these people can and cannot do is unclear to us. However, we are relatively confident that vampires cannot accomplish this on their own."
"Huh," I said. "Well... Good luck."
She sighed. "I'll certainly need it."
----------------------------------------
"Should we let Nicky move back in with us?" Akane asked, once Veronica was gone.
"Absolutely not, are you insane?" I asked.
"I mean, I am a mad scientist, but... Walk me through your reasoning?"
"Akane, your friend is a cop with a mission to find and deport me," I said. "That's... Is that not immediately apparent?"
"She'd never deport you," Akane protested.
"She absolutely would. That's her job. Whether she wants to or not doesn't exactly enter into it, unless she really likes me, which..." I grimaced. "Well, I'm the reason she can't move back in with her best friend. She's got reason to want me gone, is all I'm saying."
"But you wouldn't be that reason if you let her move back in," Akane said.
"There are only two bedrooms, Akane," I said. "And none of us are willing to crash on the couch."
"We can share a room," Akane said. "Just because Nicky's weird about physical contact doesn't mean we have to be."
"Look, as much as I appreciate having a proper hug dealer after all this time, I'm not exactly comfortable with the prospect of sharing a bed with you," I said. "What is this, fanfiction? There needs to be more than one bed."
"But we're friends," Akane said.
"Friends don't typically share beds," I said. "Didn't you live with Veronica for years?"
"Yeah, but she doesn't like being touched because of the dignity of royalty and all that," Akane said.
"Huh. Well, I'm also weird, but for different reasons, and I'm drawing the line at sharing a bed," I said.
"I want cuddles," Akane whined. "This is homophobic."
"Life often is," I said, nodding sadly.
She sighed.
"...So, what's next for mad science?" Akane asked.
"Did the lesson in robotics particularly inspire you?" I asked. I was pretty sure I already knew the answer, but it paid to double-check these things.
"Not really," Akane admitted. "It's cool, but... it's not what I want to do."
"Then we're done with it," I said. "There are, conventionally, eight recognized fields of mad science, of which a Demiurge will have an aptitude for three, no more and no less. We already know you have an aptitude for scanners, and I will teach you best practices for those, but first, I think it's important to figure out where your aptitudes lie."
"How are we going to do that?" Akane asked. "Are you going to read my mind, or have me fill out a questionnaire? Ooooh, is it gonna be a journey of self-discovery?"
"I am going to make you try each of the six remaining fields, one by one, until we find the ones you're interested in," I said. "You may recognize this as 'doing it the hard way.'"
"Aw, that's boring," Akane said.
"It's what works," I said. "However, knowing what I do of your academic interests, I am willing to make an educated guess on what at least one of your aptitudes will probably be, and jump it almost to the front of the line."
"Oh?" Akane said. "What's my aptitude, and why aren't we doing it first?"
"You're an aerospace engineering student," I said. "If you don't turn out to have an aptitude for vehicle design, you're in the wrong field."
"Ooooh, right, mad science can do vehicles," Akane said. "Oooooooh, does that mean you're gonna teach me how to make cyborg implants so I can make a gravity flight module and I can be just like Nicky?" Her eyes sparkled. "Roxy. Roxy please we need to do that next please please ple-"
"The fact that you're likely to have an aptitude for experimental high-speed vehicles that only you can pilot is precisely why it doesn't go to the front of the line," I said bluntly. "I have an aptitude for mad medicine that will fix any cuts and burns you sustain, but if you're injured severely enough, I will not be able to heal that, and you will be bedridden for several weeks while it heals naturally, or possibly even hospitalized."
Akane blinked, and then looked away. "Oh."
"And that is why, before you start messing around with jet bikes, I am going to teach you to make armor."