"So how was your day?" Akane asked.

"Productive," I said. "Went out and got the lay of the land."

"You went partying without me?" Akane asked. "And in the middle of the day?"

"You can't see it because I'm wearing sunglasses but I'm rolling my eyes at you."

It was about four or so in the afternoon, and the both of us had already done rather a lot today. Granted, some of it was more physically strenuous than the rest of it, but I wasn't about to throw stones considering I'd ended up dropping out of college altogether.

"Speaking of which, I should probably see an eye doctor and get my eyes tested again," I added. "I have a computer in my head with functionally infinite storage space, and somehow it never occurred to me to store my prescription in there."

"Oooooh. So you're wearing sunglasses indoors because you left your regular glasses behind?" Akane asked. "It isn't a fashion statement?"

"Well, it isn't just a fashion statement."

"Wow," Akane said, starry-eyed. "Earth A-510 really is the Urban Fantasy universe. Even a trans butch mad scientist cyborg comes out of there thinking that aviators and a trenchcoat are the height of fashion."

I rolled my eyes again.

"Oh, hey, speaking of cyborg," Akane continued. "Why do you need glasses in the first place? Aren't you good at scanners?"

"While the Institute for Applied Transhumanism approves of cybernetic eyes, I always thought they were a waste of headspace," I said. "There's a sharply limited number of gadgets a demiurge can maintain at once. Joining a Research Fellowship can show you tricks for reducing the maintenance cost for gadgets that fall under their aegis, and for small-scale stuff that makes the maintenance trivial, but working cyber-eyes are complicated enough to matter."

"What about mad medicine?" Akane asked. "Can you use that to fix your eyesight?"

I opened my mouth, preparing to say "no, of course not," but then I closed it, rethinking my position.

"...So, typically, the most basic level of mad science just sorta... duplicates what regular science can achieve, but a little better," I said carefully. "And corrective eye surgery for the treatment of myopia is absolutely something regular science can achieve. Therefore..." I closed my eyes, activating my healing subroutine. I took off my sunglasses as the implant worked, and when it told me it was done, I opened my eyes. "...Whoa."

"It worked?" Akane asked.

"It did, yeah," I said. "...Which actually kinda annoys me, because I liked these shades, and I liked how I looked with glasses, too."

"You can get new sunglasses and cosmetic glasses," Akane promised me. "You... probably should be getting new sunglasses anyways. The protective coating on your lenses is peeling like crazy."

"Ah, right, I keep meaning to fix that," I said, switching the healing to repair and rubbing my thumb over each lens. "There. Good as new."

"...Mad science is bullshit, and I want to know more."

"Easy, tiger. We'll get there," I said. "How was your day? What do you do all day?"

"I'm in grad school for aerospace engineering," Akane said. "My mom works at NASA, so... Y'know. Kinda following in her footsteps."

"Well, if you're sure that's what you want," I said. "Funny you should mention NASA, actually- my uncle used to work at Lockheed Martin, predominantly on NASA contracts. He retired years ago, but still."

"Oh nice," Akane said.

"And... well, I suppose we should rip this particular bandaid off with a quick theory lesson," I said. "How much time you got?"

"All of it."

"Alright, so... You're right that mad science is in fact bullshit," I said. "But, contrary to what you think, it's bullshit in the sense that it's fraudulent. See, the physical sciences have reached a consensus that the universe doesn't care what you think. And for ordinary, everyday mortals, that's more-or-less true. They aren't supernatural. But for you and I, and for every mad scientist, superhero, wizard, werewolf, and vampire out there? The universe very much does care what we think. We demiurges in particular have our opinion so favored by the universe that it can temporarily forget what the real laws of physics are, and adopt whatever lunacy we feed it. That's fundamentally what mad science is- we build impossible devices that operate on falsified laws of physics, and then they work."

"Hmmm..." Akane said. "...But why?"

"Nobody knows," I said. "Well, okay, a lot of people claim to know, but I'm reasonably confident that almost all of them are full of shit. The more important part, which I need you to understand, is that working with mad science will screw with your mind and your ability to understand the world as it works for normal people. You and I carry with us a magical power. We dress it up in technological and scientific trappings because it works better that way, but it fundamentally is magical- that is, fueled by confirmation bias." I sighed. "I understand this is against my self-interest, but if you have any hope of producing useful, useable work for Boeing or whoever the fuck, stuff that people other than you can work with, I need to leave, and you need to try as hard as you can to smother that spark of inspiration, before it burns you up from the inside out."

Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.

"But- Okay, maybe the fighter jet I design won't teach anyone anything useful," Akane said. "But the jet itself would be useful, right?"

"Not unless you find another Demiurge to pilot it," I said. "That's another side to this coin: our power is to lie to reality... and when someone who isn't supernatural, who isn't in on the con, touches what we've built? Reality realizes something is wrong, and things go haywire. Maybe you're lucky and it just breaks. Maybe you're less lucky and it develops exactly enough sentience and independence to lash out in a blind, violent rage at everything around it, starting with the poor fool who tried to use it. That's not a single isolated horror story- it happens all the time. So, no, the jet itself would not be useful. The path of the mad scientist is one of isolation and failure. You will create life inside a computer, and you will never be able to send it to school. You will learn fascinating truths about the universe, and you won't be able to tell anyone else. You will walk on the surface of Mercury, and you will walk alone."

Akane chewed on this for a moment, considering things carefully.

I could tell by the set of her jaw and the furrow of her brow that she was resolving to completely fucking upend her life. I don't know why I keep trying this routine. It never works, and they don't even have the good graces to thank me afterwards after they realize I was right.

"No," Akane said, shaking her head. "No, I won't walk alone on the surface of Mercury. This isn't the world you're from. This is a world where superheroes fly in broad daylight, and are already enmeshed in the fabric of society. Maybe I can't get my Master's. Maybe I can; plenty of heroes earn Doctorates. But either way... There is a place for me in this world." She grabbed my hands tightly, looking up into my eyes with steely determination. "And there's a place for you, too."

"Like hell there is," I snapped, before I could control myself. "I'm trying to stay under the radar, okay?" I most definitely was not going to tell her about my day job, which was bounty hunting, and then get into a shouting match about how this world was developing a brand new warrior aristocracy and cheering it on- No. Control yourself, Roxy. This isn't the job you're here to do. These people can sort out their own shit on their own. It isn't your place to meddle, and trying to make it so will just produce someone just like you to stick their fingers in your eyes. "But... Whatever. Fine. You're an adult who can make your own decisions, and we had a deal."

Akane's eyes very nearly sparkled, which I waved off as a trick of the light; no way she'd replaced her own eyeballs yet. "Yessssss. Thank you thank you thank you-" She let go of my hands so she could wrap me in another hug, her head tilted back so she could rest her chin on my shoulder. "So, what do we start with? Death rays? Power armor? Teleporters?"

"We are going to start with a robot maid to clean up your goddamn apartment," I said, absently patting the back of her head. I had to admit, as much as it felt like I should be objecting to the hugs, I just couldn't find it in me. I wasn't exactly touch-averse; in fact, I was pretty touch-starved. It was just... I didn't plan to stay here one minute longer than I had to after my job was done. I really, really did not need to get emotionally entangled with someone I was planning to leave behind.

"What's that gonna be like?" Akane asked. "Are you gonna build an off-brand C-3PO to putter about dispensing servile snark?"

"I am going to make a human-shaped roomba that is exactly smart enough to wash the dishes," I said.

"Aw, lame," Akane said. "Can't you build something smarter?"

"I can build something a bit smarter than a dog that speaks, like, five hundred words of English," I said. "The problems with building something like that are myriad. First, ethical problems- that's where I draw the line of 'smart enough I feel bad forcing it to do my chores.' Second, practical problems: that kind of intelligence is expensive, in more ways than just costing a lot of money. And third, you're supposed to learn the basics of mad robotics from this project, and doing something that complicated from the beginning would be nothing but hazing."

"Oh, okay," Akane said.

"I don't know what your budget is like, so we might have to improvise some stuff," I continued. "We're definitely gonna need your car to make a few runs to various stores, though. How much money are you prepared to drop on this?"

"How often are we going to be doing something like this?" Akane asked.

"Well, pretty much every time we build something serious, it's gonna be expensive," I said. "I don't expect us to build something serious very often, though. Maybe once a month? I don't know what your schedule is like."

"Mmn," Akane hummed, nodding. "...My apartment isn't that dirty, is it?"

"It kind of is, but..." I sighed. "As much as I just said you're an adult who can make your own choices, I'd rather my legacy, in your eyes, was an improved quality of life, and not the barrel of a gun. It'd help me sleep better at night."

Akane nodded against my shoulder- it occurred to me that I'd never let go of her, and then it occurred to me that I didn't want to let go.

"So... what should we do for dinner?" Akane asked.

"...It has occurred to me that the big roomba won't be able to cook for us," I said. "I... might be convinced to make that intelligence upgrade to dog-intelligence so it can."

"That's one way to make sure we don't argue over who has to do chores," she said. "I have stuff to make spaghetti, so we could do that."

"Fair enough," I said. "Of course, we'd have to stop hugging in order to go cook food and then eat it."

"It's not even five o'clock," Akane said, nodding. "I'm not that hungry."

"Glad we're on the same page, here."