"He looks dead," Liquid Courage said.
"Of course he looks dead, he's a fucking vampire," I said. "They're undead. Walking corpses. He'll get back up eventually, though. Vampires aren't really dead until they're ashes."
"How long is eventually?"
I shrugged. "My scans say he's pretty fresh, not too deep in his veins... I'd say anywhere between two weeks and a year."
"Fuck me running."
"Some of the real old monsters, they can end up staying down for decades or centuries at a time. Hell, I've read a study on some vampires who gave themselves over completely to the curse who'd sleep for a thousand years." I snorted. "Funny thing about being awful and sleeping for a thousand years- that's plenty of time for your body to be found by wizards, druids, and or mad scientists who don't want you waking up."
"Is there anyway to wake 'em up early?" Liquid Courage asked.
"Well, if we had another vampire with more potent blood magic, we could use some of their blood to wake them up," I said. "That's what we usually did if there was some stiff with information we needed and weren't willing to wait for. However..."
"We don't have another vampire with more potent blood magic, do we." It wasn't even a question.
"Nope. So... might wanna just strap him down and wait for him to wake up. Maybe pour some concrete, make him look like a bootleg Han Solo?"
"Is that standard practice where you're from?"
"Usually we don't want to store hibernating vampires until they wake up," I said. "Nobody likes vampires, not even other vampires. When we do need to store hibernating vampires until they wake up, though, it usually involved some manner of sorcery I can't replicate, or a very secure lockbox that I can't be bothered to build."
"If we can table the issue of vampire storage for now?" Venus asked.
"Right, right," I said. "Akane, what the fuck was your hypothesis, and how did it result in you turning off someone's superpowers?"
"So it started when Lisa noticed the spirit world was barren," Akane said. "But I didn't really understand that something was up until Lisa's spirit hounds couldn't enter superscience faraday cages. And that's when the pieces fell into place."
"Tech interferes with the spirit world," I said.
"Irrelevant," Akane said. "I tested my hypothesis, and I finally know how superpowers work."
I blinked.
"Well, let's hear it," Liquid Courage said.
"Superheroes are a really weird offshoot of werewolves," Akane said.
"...Let's hear the longer version that makes sense," Liquid Courage clarified.
"Superheroes and werewolves are both half-spirits whose powers come from the spirit world, which acts kind of like a collective unconsciousness," Akane said. "The way those powers manifest is a lot different, though; as much as some superheroes have really strong powers, nearly all of them lack the versatility and adaptability I've observed in just Lisa, who's new to this whole werefox thing."
"Huh," I said. "Well, ain't that a hell of a thing. I'll bust out the champagne tomorrow."
"If we could focus on the question of Gideon," Venus said.
"Oh, right, that jackass," I said. "Honestly, he's just a stooge for Dr. Skinner. Tell him we think he was mind-controlled and aren't holding him personally accountable for any of that bullshit, and just want to know anything and everything he can tell us about Skinner."
"You're talking like I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to handle these things," Liquid Courage said. "Dude's already in an interrogation room singing like a canary. He is kinda useless, though, on account Skinner didn't tell him much. The most he heard from her were vague complaints about zoning laws, and yes, I am probing deeper on that, but he can't tell me anything he doesn't actually know."
"Do I need to be here?" Lisa asked.
"Honestly, no," Liquid Courage said. "I only need Dr. Updyke and Lady Venus to stay for debriefing and consultation."
Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.
"Go home and get some rest, you two," I said, patting Lisa and Akane on the shoulder. "We're probably gonna be a while, and there's no reason we have to ruin everyone's sleep schedule."
"The joys of being important," Venus said dryly. "If it weren't for the current crisis, I would quit to be a vtuber."
"What kind of avatar would you have?" I asked.
"I don't know," she said. "I haven't thought about it that much. It doesn't matter. Good night, you two."
"Goodnight," Akane said, as she and Lisa headed for the door.
"Alright, well. Time for the debriefing."
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"So. Walk me through your plan," Liquid Courage said, once I was alone in a conference room.
Liquid Courage was a computer, not a robot. He was immobile, but at the same time, he could speak through any of his many terminals located throughout the building. Of course, he could also make and receive phone calls, and so he didn't need a terminal in a conference room. With the Virtual Machine, I didn't even have to open my mouth to talk to him.
"You'll have to be more specific," I said, reclining in a chair and closing my eyes. "My plan for the fiasco earlier tonight, or my plan for Doctor Skinner?"
"Both, in either order," Liquid Courage said.
"Right. So, tonight's plan was simple. I have tech that can find anyone, anywhere, as long as they don't have a way to hide from the scanner. And I knew from experience that none of these people had those ways. I would track them down, capture them once more- because they hadn't posed a threat to me before, and even in such a large group still wouldn't- and then go back home and go to bed."
"And it didn't occur to you that, perhaps, the situation had changed with the introduction of whatever it was that allowed the villains to break out of jail?"
"It did not, because we were moving in a hurry," I said. "Where I'm from, incarceration of supernatural people was... tricky. There is no way to completely and totally and perfectly disable someone's supernatural powers, aside from killing them. The idea that you people can is foreign, something I didn't consider in the heat of the moment."
"And Venus didn't consider it either?"
"Venus, geared up and on the job, immediately subordinated herself to me and followed my lead. She trusted me to know what I was doing, and didn't undercut my authority." I shrugged. "The downside, naturally, is that I have no idea whether she had that insight and didn't share it because she didn't want to undercut me... or she simply didn't have that insight in the first place. She got powers in college, and graduated a few months ago; I wouldn't be surprised to learn that this really was the first fight she's been in."
"I see. Well, on the subject of Venus' performance... what're your thoughts?"
"Excellent beatstick," I said. "Just an absolute wrecking ball in a fight, like a flying brick should be. Personality-wise... I was expecting to have complaints. She was difficult to get along with, for the first few weeks we lived together, but... well, time and familiarity solve a lot of problems. We managed to have a downright friendly conversation about a game she likes this evening, before the jailbreak."
"Just how long does your mind control last?"
"Somewhere in the neighborhood of ten minutes, usually," I said. "Why?"
"Trying to figure out exactly how you managed to housebreak a Vega."
"It's easy," I said with a shrug. "Push back on the objectionable stuff, and then engage positively with everything else. She loves puns and modded Factorio, and I'm pretty sure that offering to do some multiplayer to test out a modpack she's compiling specifically for the uninitiated will help further."
"I don't suppose she's let slip what the other royal brats are into?" Liquid Courage asked.
"I don't think she knows," I said. "The first I heard of her having a brother was from Valiant, the other day."
"Wow. Not even the Vegas can stand Vegas."
"Anyhow, I don't feel comfortable taking all the credit, here," I continued. "She spent four years living with Akane, who is basically a golden retriever, and who likely contributed massively to her personal growth, despite Akane's protestations to the contrary."
"Fair enough. You think you might be able to replicate that feat? Flip more of them into being tolerable, instead of..."
"I've met one of them, and know very little about the others," I said with a shrug. "I also don't see how I'd end up in a position to work alongside any of the others for months at a time. Anyhow, weren't you supposed to ask me about my overall plan to find and defeat Dr. Skinner?"
"Right, I got distracted. Please tell me about your plan to find Dr. Skinner."
"Skinner tends to make waves wherever she goes," I said. "She's a cult leader, and a megalomaniac. She can't help but assemble a corps of loyal mooks wherever she goes, if she can't bring one with her. She has technology that hides her person, and her facilities, from my scanners, but that's just camoflage; she can't hide the ripples of her existence and what she does from reality. She leaves tracks. For the time being, I've been working on training up another apprentice, in the form of a druid, to aid me in pursuing Skinner's odd ripples through exotic means she's less likely to think to block."
"Describe these 'exotic means' to me."
"Alright, so, the thing about spirit magic is..."
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Nicky and I staggered home about five hours after we were supposed to go to bed. The coffee was very much wearing off, our eyes were heavy, and the goddamn motherfucking cocksucking piece of shit we called a 'sun' would probably be rising in a few hours.
We held each other for stability, and as we approached the stairs, we held on tighter as Nicky floated off the floor and up the stairs and to her room, too tired to parse anything besides the shortest path to a warm bed.
I don't know if I passed out before or after she got the door open.
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I woke up at the crack of noon, very slowly and groggily, until I realized something was amiss. Then I woke up very quickly, and found myself in Nicky's bed, lying on top of her, with her arms and legs wrapped around me tightly.
"...Huh," I said, provoking an adorably irritated face from her.
"Mmmrgh," she blearily vocalized. "Mnn... ten more minutes..."
I considered this thoughtfully.
"...Eh, sure," I said, laying my head back down and closing my eyes.