“Or are you actually going to do something?”

“....”

I let go of Alicia’s throat, I can hear her cough… I hope I did not truly harm her...

“Eh she will be fine, I was taking beatings far worse than your little neck-lift when I was her age and came out fine didn't I?”

“..You became a spec ops interrogator, like hell that counts as fine…”

“*Cough cough* Eh…? Rasmus, are you ok?” Alicia seems concerned of me…

“Hey! Focus. We have a task, don't we?”

...I know… But there is no way it can be done.

At bare minimum, there are at least 3 dozen Heavies remaining, no matter how you look at it, there is no way we can stop that.

“Well well, lookie who’s grown soft and fat huh ^.^ ? The tin-boy I remember would just do the job and not whine you know~?”

“...Heh, ...you are right.”

“Rasmus… who are you talking to?”

Alicia asked something unimportant to the side, so I just pat her head to assure her that everything was fine.

“So, who is she? My replacement?”

...Shut up.

Turning my eyes towards my “squad” for the first time since the bombing I could see many things.

The quietness, the downtrodden morale... some members had even split off mid-search to find their fallen friends among the wreckage.

Ordering Tolstoj to gather everyone up I began to piece my thoughts together as I watched their searching and strife, their arguments and consolements.

“...You envy them, don't you? The dead?”

...Shut up...

“...You envy how easy they have it. Being cared of by so many, whilst you work hard daily, and yet at best, the society tolerates you and would certainly never mourn for you..”

Shut up.

….

…

As they slowly finished gathering, I tried to think of any speech that I had heard in the past that I could use, with poor results.

“Screw that, you should still remember something about it right? The times before you became… this thing you are”

Irrelevant and fragmented. Useless.

“No. Not useless… Just painful, you were a politician's son, speaking is in your veins.”

“ And after all, you have seen it first hand haven't you? The abyss of despair within our minds… you have felt an abyss far darker than the one they are in.”

“Just… guide their mind into the very brink of the abyss. “

“...And ignite it with a flame that could burn the very world to cinders.”

“And if all else fails. I will be here to ridicule you for failing, alrite? ^.^”

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

...Heh…You just can't help being annoying huh?

Well… I suppose I don't have a right to blame you, after all that I let you go through.

But I will rely on you for on-the-spot aid alright?

“Yup~”

*Pov: Lee Tolstoj*

I could sense the mood of our group, we felt broken. We just survived an onslaught by an Old Beast horde and travelled through the remaining burning tents and broken bunkers that were once part of our support camp.

However, after looking for survivors for what seemed like an eternity we finally came upon a few. Two doctors saved by some random mechanic. Wasn’t he boss’s mechanic? He did seem… Odd after talking to him here. More strange than he was before that is.

Boss ordered us to gather, it took some convincing to get the other back, many were uninterested, some even completely unwilling, but after some talking they still showed up. However, no one spoke to each other, they either just stayed in their Walker or sat in front of it.

After the last member arrived, boss walked out in front of the group in silence, as if in deep thought. Before he began speaking… we saw something we had never seen before on him as he stared off to something unseen towards the side.

A smile.

A truly, truly sad smile.

There was something painful about it.

Then, he leveled a stare upon us, his eyes were cold, as always… But there was something different about it this time, something that we could all relate to… Dark, yet familiar.

Had the eyes changed, or had we changed, I wonder?

Then he began talking.

“You lost many friends today.”

A quiet voice. The lack of edge in his voice stunned and silenced us all.

“...But there is more to it than that isn't there?”

“You did not just lose friends. You feel responsible for letting them die.”

Different than the assertive voice from the last time spoke, the words spoken… painful. But none of us could deny them.

“You fear, you fear for the rest. Back home. In Aurora.”

The voice felt… Almost consoling in its own way, like the voice of our own conscience.

“I have a friend back in Aurora… Heh, yeah. Even someone like me… He is a polite fella with many subordinates. I don't want him to die.”

He was silent for a split second, and continued

“A friend I had passed away in this very camp. He had some family in Aurora as well… Search your heart. We all have family and friends in Aurora… sisters, brothers… wives”

His words built a warm hue of nostalgia inside us dyed in shades of vague sadness… it would be easier to just reminiscine of  better days.

“...We all know it here, don’t we?”

His next words… Left a void in our minds and hearts.

“If that horde is not stopped. They will all die.”

The void was a cold… desolate feeling… just like his eyes.

He let the silence, the despair hang over all of us, and then he spoke once more.

“ All those people back on Aurora…”

Certainty in his voice… slowly grew.

“They are not yet dead. But WE are already no different from the dead, with nowhere to run to, and no way to survive.”

“You have a choice. Die for the living, or die for nothing.”

“So I say, for the sake of the living. let us take up our weapons once more.”

A kindle was set aflame inside us.

Quiet murmurs of agreement and silent nods began appearing amongst us.

“If you follow me, know that you will not be fighting to survive, or to save the men around you, no. You will be fighting to leave a legacy.”

Spark.

“ You will be fighting to save your home.”

Determination.

“ You will be fighting, To make FUCKING SURE. that no friend, no comrade who died here, will EVER be forgotten.”

The flames inside our hearts were burning. Anyone who had been sitting lazily had long since got up. We were all feeling too excited to just sit Idly.

The voice grew only stronger. Only more authoritative. And his eyes followed.

“A wise saying warns us that ‘he who hunts monsters must be mindful not to become one himself’... “

“Discard those kinds of thoughts, “

“Discard your fears.”

“Forget your heart. ”

“Those are things you might need among the living, among the surviving, but the path we will walk is not for surviving, NO! FUCK SURVIVING.”

We all listened in silence. With grim faces. And fire in our hearts. Not a peep was let out.

“To slay a beast. Sometimes a worse, even more cruel beast is needed. That is the kind of a world that we live in.”

He leveled one of his more familiar cold, cruel stares upon us. And spoke.

“Gentlemen.”

“I Welcome you, to my pack of beasts.”

And at that time, for the first time. We could all look directly back into those eyes without any discomfort…

something about those eyes captured it so well. The feeling of hatred we felt towards Neuro for killing our friends. The twisted burning cruel hate kindled in us all. But also the cold. Emptiness we felt. As he said there was no dreaming of survival here.

If it takes us giving up what humanity we have to save our families, if it takes our very lives as well… That is a sacrifice we would all cheeringly embrace with open arms.