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In Loki's Honor
Life 8 - Chapter (*) 1 - To own oneself

Life 8 - Chapter (*) 1 - To own oneself

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I sat in my bedroom, alone with Nenandil. In front of me, a wooden box bearing Sariandi's sigil. The "gifts" she enchanted for me.

I avoided this moment for three lifetimes.

My heart soared, pumping enough blood to die my whole face beet red. Why was I so ashamed of myself? Because I was once a man? While I miss having a dick and balls, I do not feel uncomfortable in a female's body.

I pick up the box and go to my vanity. I sit in front of the mirror and look at my face. The last elf princess' face. This is me. My body. Not somebody else's body I'm possessing. I could close my eyes and remember a few moments in the womb of my birth mother. The ritual dagger murdering me.

I focused on {Remove Curse} and focused on {Feminization}.

> Unable to break this curse. Insufficient MP.

The same was true to all my curses. It didn't even tell me how much MP I needed to break them. And even if I could remove a curse, I wouldn't start with that one. There were others that bothered me more than that.

I looked down. My breasts pushed the fabric of my nightgown, creating a small valley that allowed me to look inside.

Nenandil flew and sat on the vanity among my skincare products. She said nothing and didn't stare. She gave me an encouraging gaze.

Reaching for my breasts, I caressed them over the fabric. I didn't moan or anything one could see in hentai or other media depicting the situation I found myself at that moment. It felt as natural as touching my wrists or knees. Of course, the skin was much more sensitive and if I knead them it would cause other kinds of sensations but I wasn't in the mood.

It felt forced. I wasn't ready for that step yet.

I took the box to the armoire and hid it in the bottom drawer. Then I scooped Nenandil and went to bed to rest for a while. When my head hit the pillow, the fairy brushed a lock of pink hair off my face.

"It's okay. Take your time," She comforted me.

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Elves had no notion of weekends. They took days off whenever they felt like, their sense of community and duty enough to keep most of them from shirking their jobs forever. There were those but they eventually grew bored enough to try something. With the freedom to explore, they soon found their calling in some craft or art.

The Forest provided. The elves needed very little work to guarantee food on their tables. That freed most of the population to do whatever struck their fancy.

To celebrate my achievement with all the eight basic types of spell-songs, I took a week off in my bedroom. I was training to be a NEET Hikikkomori.

I even forced my ladies-in-waiting to take a forced vacation. I was completely alone.

I walked out of my bath when I felt a tingling in my abdomen.

"I think I'm going to have a period," I commented with Nenandil.

"I'm pretty sure elves don't have these," She remarked back. At my surprised face, she continued, "You've been alive for over three months and hadn't bled a single drop out of your pussy."

"Maybe it takes longer," I conjectured.

"Maybe you should ask someone about that. Like one of your ladies-in-waiting. They are a couple centuries older than you, they might know," She giggled.

I put on my self-spun self-woven self-cleaned (not self-cleaning) fairy silk lingerie and a dress before I set out on a quest to know if female elves did or did not have periods.

Finding my ladies-in-waiting was easy. despite ordering them on vacation. They were talking in their rooms next to my royal apartment. Nenandil stayed hidden inside me. We didn't reveal her existence to the others yet.

"Can we help you, Your Highness?" Lixiss asked as she opened the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked with a smile.

She froze for a moment then opened the door, "Yes, please. I hope you don't mind my meager accommodations, Your Highness."

I took a step inside and clasped her shoulder. "Lixiss. Look in my eyes. I've eaten dirt. I lived in a hole on the ground. I was the eighth daughter of a dirt farmer in the human realms once. Whatever you have behind this door, it is sumptuous compared to what I once had. You don't have to worry."

She was holding her breath. Did she fear me so? "It is okay. You are my friends. You are safe with me and if something happens, I'll protect you."

"We are the ones supposed to be your bodyguard, milady," She said with a trembling voice.

I sighed and gave her a friendly nod and, "Let's just hope violence doesn't reach this far in the heart of the Forest, shall we?"

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Ikeshia approached and curtsied, "It would be for the better, milady. Please, come in."

They were playing cards. I didn't know that game. "So, girls. I came here to ask, do elf women have periods?"

"I beg your pardon, milady?" Ikeshia said.

"Periods. Menstrual periods. When women bleed every month or so."

"Oh, you mean the humans and other races," Lixiss answered. "No, we do not."

"Okay. Never ever?"

"No," Ikeshia said. "Honestly, I find that particular trait of human physiology disgusting."

"You tell me," I sighed.

"Sorry, Your Highness!" Ikeshia quickly apologized. "I didn't mean to offend."

"None taken. Tell me, do you girls get a salary? A stipend? Payment?" I shifted the subject.

"That we do, Your Highness."

"Then it's more than what I earn," I joked. "Okay, here's a {Royal Order} for you two. You are banished from the palace. You are only allowed to return here two sunrises from now. Go watch a play, paint a picture, sing a song. I don't care so long you are not here."

> Royal Order reached level novice 5.

They stared at me like I had stabbed their pet cat. "Look, I just want to be alone for a while. Nobody is to enter these chambers until you return."

They nodded and left. I sealed the main doors to my section of the tree-palace and went to my room.

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With peace and quiet in my bedroom, I retrieved the box Sariandi gave me and opened it for the first time. It was what I was expecting, but not in that quantity or quality. The box had a variety of dildos in several shapes and sizes. They felt like flesh but were some sort of soft cured leather. The texture felt oiled but not sticky or greasy. In fact, my hand came out dry after touching one of these.

I was afraid. As if using one of these would break something in me. Not physically, but my self-image. Maybe that's why I cling to my past lives like a drowning man gasping for air.

But I was feeling horny. And curious. I removed my dress and walked in front of the full-body mirror in my underwear. Yes, elves were a cheat. My body still had the faintest traces of baby fat but a full-blown figure. Not too voluptuous but not bland at all. As tall as I was, My body was elegant with long legs. My skin tone was pale but elves had as much variety in skin tone as they had in hair color. There weren't any distinction or ethnic groups.

An elf was an elf and they were as much of an elf as the next elf. Maybe humans should think of themselves like that as well.

My underwear wasn't sexy. I didn't care about that. It was more like a sports bra and bloomers. Comfortable, that was the main issue. I removed it and stood naked before the mirror.

Another feature the elves had, they didn't have a single long hair below the neck. Upon close examination, I could see I had thin, short, and almost transparent hairs on my skin, giving it a peachy texture. I could even color them using chameleon.

My nipples were very dark brown. Even darker than Apricot's but smaller. I pinched them. it felt somewhat good but not enough to drive me crazy. All that hentai spoiled my notions of how this should go.

Time to go down. I try to relax and shift my gaze. Princess Alloralla's crotch - that was the current me if someone wasn't paying attention - was not too pronounced but not puffy or flopped. The slit didn't show any of the inner folds poking out.

And I was faced with the first problem females have explored their sexes. I couldn't see it very well. Contortionism was awkward, using the mirror was awkward and put a lot of distance between my eyes and the object of my study.

So I cheated.

Using {Partial Shift}, I changed my torso, neck, and stomach's into my hybrid form's. From the navel down I left everything as it was. Now I could bend and fold like a pretzel. I took the box to the bed and got myself comfortable.

To my shame, the first thing I did when I got my face close to my crotch was to smell it. I had left the bath not an hour ago and it smelled of soap. Like doh.

Rubbing my outer labia felt good but not to the point I would moan and lose my mind. I guess that just wasn't going to happen.

Moment of truth, I pushed them aside. Something alien came... just kidding. It was normal-ish. Mind you, I never looked at mine before - Neither as Lily or Apricot. What greeted me in the inner folds of my privates was a button hood and two small folds of skin that ran parallel to one another, getting smaller until they disappeared halfway to the back. It didn't look underdeveloped.

I confess I spent some time just looking. When I got used to the sight, I looked at the back. And I just found the vaginal opening and its myriad folds. No hymen of anything that looked like a membrane sealing the entrance or anything like that let me stop now because my ignorance will drive me nuts.

It wasn't sopping wet either, dripping, or anything like that. I got a finger wet with saliva and rubbed where the outer skin shifted into the inner, thinner one. The feeling wasn't entirely strange or unknown because the fleshy bits naturally rub on each other as I moved or did anything else and I had a vagina on me for a few decades now.

But now I was focused only on that. A shiver ran up my spine and I felt a tingle. The vaginal opening twitched. It felt sort like the muscle you pull when making kegel exercises as a man - the same to stop peeing mid-way - but it was not exactly that one. I felt that before but always dismissed the feeling.

I giggled at my foolishness. Then I rubbed some more. Did I feel... warm? Good too. My nipples got hard and poked out. I rubbed more without touching the hood or the inner labia, now committed to doing the deed.

The warmth spread up and inward. I moved inward, the area between the inner labia, below the hood. A few more moves and I felt warm and slick downward. Yeah, I got moist. Moist, not wet. The feeling wasn't of wetness because the fluid was warm. I relaxed and indulged on that rubbing, avoiding going too above and touch the hood or too low and get the opening.

The warmth ran up my spine. and I decided to explore a new place. The inner labia and hood swelled and the tip of my clit was poking out. I pulled the finger up from the middle of the inner labia and reached it from below.

I didn't moan but I took a deep breath. I felt something like a mild shock, like a nine-volt battery on the tongue. I didn't pull the finger. Instead, I stopped and let my body get used to the sensation. Then I rubbed it a bit more, experimenting until I found a good combination of pressure and stimulation. Which was over the hood, not directly on the clit.

That pressure at the back of my head and on my crotch I knew when I was about to cum came and I tried to push through but it didn't come. In fact, it started to hurt a bit.

I stopped there. While the release hadn't come, I was kinda expecting it to be complicated and I had to admit I pushed myself forward a bit too much. I got some sad tingle-twitches in my crotch like my pussy was pulsing and asking "why are you leaving right now". The truth was that I was a bit scared and disappointed. My female brain had just turned off my libido.

The box went back in the drawer, unused. I went back to the bathing room to relax soaking in the tub. I wasn't sore, I walked a step forward, and I was still myself. It's not like I suddenly started craving dicks or anything.

I was almost dozing off when Nenandil sat on my head. "How was it?" She asked me.

She stayed silent on the vanity all this time. Gotta give it to the fairy, she gave me room. "Good. Good. I didn't climax but it was good. I think I need to get used to it."

"Okay," she chirped. There was a hint of mischief in her voice. She was... disappointed?"

"That's it?" I asked.

"I thought you would be feeling so good and moaning like crazy you'd fear becoming a nymphomaniacal sex monster that you would be forced to ask me to freeze your pussy or something just to regain your sanity."

I grabbed the little naughty rascal and brought her before my nose. "No more freezing pussies. Seriously."

"Okay," she chirped. I knew she was lying.