"USB-C or Lightning?" She replied with a frown. In English. The hawk chirped.
"Amazing!" Abil-Kisu clapped his hands. "I see you are a man of many talents, Lord Percival. But I wouldn't believe you can talk Lady Rinaldi's mother language if I hadn't seen it!"
"Me neither," Sandra bit her lip. "Please, come inside."
"I'll leave you two to converse. Lord Percival, I'll buy your whole shipment, no matter what wares you carry. At a more than fair price too!"
We watched the merchant lord go back to his home. Once he was out of earshot, Sandra spoke.
"Do you even have a smartphone? And how did you get here?"
"A god teleported me to this world," I replied.
"You too?" She let her jaw drop.
I followed Sandra into her house. Abil-Kisu's guest house, maybe. I didn't want to pry into their relationship.
"What year was it when you left Earth?" Sandra asked as she led me to the kitchen.
"2020," I replied.
"One year after me, then. Who was President?"
"Trump."
"The same to me."
Sandra wiped a tear. "I can't believe I met someone from home!"
"Who's there?" An old lady croaked. Soon, this elderly woman approached. She looked like a Disney witch given flesh.
"Nanna, Lord Percival is from Earth! Just as me!" Sandra cheered.
"Two world travelers in the same lifetime! The world is surely doomed!" The witch crooned.
"Don't mind Nanna. She's cranky most of the time."
"Am not! And why are you inviting strange men into your home! Do you want the maids to spread gossip about you? Frankly! I know when I'm not welcome. You behave while in here, mister! Don't go doing something that you might regret!"
"I won't, Mrs. Nanna. You have my word."
"You better hold onto your promises, world walker." She warned and left.
"World walker?" Sandra wondered with hopeful eyes.
"Did you meet a gentleman called Tarhun?' I asked straight away.
"You too?"
"Yes, but he wasn't the one who brought me here. Like you, I'm a soul kidnapped from home by these whimsical deities."
"I guess the isekai wasn't what the manga and anime promised us, right?" She tittered ruefully.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
"Not at all. How are you holding up?"
"I get by. At least this world has no dragons or mind-boggling monsters. The magic here is very weak."
"Yes, I noticed. What's your cheat power, if I may ask?"
"I can recycle stuff." She deadpanned. "And heal hella fast."
"That last one is a cool thing to have."
"Sandra, I need to cast a spell to help me locate something. Would you mind if I used a room? It only requires some privacy. No dusts or any material component whatsoever."
"Sure, follow me."
*
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*
She took me to her office, where I saw her laptop and a solar panel.
"When I was brought here, Tarhun took all my camping gear along with me. Also, a dozen bags of garbage," Sandra confessed.
"Garbage?"
"I was cleaning a park after some frat boys threw a party. Then my professor tried to murder me to complete some sort of ritual, and lightning struck... Did I die? Next thing I'm here with everything I had in or around my tent."
"Including your professor?"
"Except for the professor, thanks Tarhun!" Sandra knocked on the wooden desk. "Say, would you mind if I saw your spell?"
"Not at all."
I cast the soul-locating spell. The signal was next to but outside the house.
I pointed in the exact direction. The target was just a dozen yards away and I exchanged range for a lot of precision.
Outside, a cat started yowling and hissing. I went to the window. Garfield had Replicated a steel cage around the animal. Once I set my eyes on the cat, I knew it was Leonard's soul. The cat was female, though.
"What is this racket?!?" Nanna shouted from her room.
I cast another spell on the cat. "Sleep."
Sandra stood next to me. "That's a stray cat that wanders around here. Bloodstone tried to hunt it several times."
"Does the cat have an owner?"
"No, nobody. It's a stray."
I went outside and secured the cat's cage.
*
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*
With the cat, I went back to the inn I rented a room in. I spent the night there, weaving a bolt of silk for Abil-Kisu. Normal silk, not living silk. It would be unwise to leave such a powerful thing behind.
"Can we give Sandra some gifts? A new computer, better software, a drone, maybe?"
"But if you already saw her in the future, isn't it guaranteed that she will go back?"
"Huh. So, drones, better solar panels, some software? What else? Knowledge?"
"Good. Add a lot of movies too."
*
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*
The next day, I went to Abil-Kisu's estate to deliver the silk. I had yet to give Sandra the gadgets Garfield prepared for her, including a few gigabytes of data and software. After getting a huge bag of gold for the silk, I borrowed a horse to follow Sandra as she did her errands around town. The horse came with saddlebags, which I intended to fill with her gifts.
"Let me guess, you can't take me home," she broke the silence.
"I'm sorry. Not only I can't take you back to Earth, but I also can't go there myself. I just came here to this world to get this cat."
"What's the deal with the cat?"
"It's a reincarnated person from Earth. Though it has no memories of its previous life, unlike us."
Sandra sniffled. "It was too good to be true."
"I'm really sorry. I have something for you. It might not be Earth, but it is a piece of home."
"I'll take anything," she said between hiccups. "Anyway, I wouldn't go back to Earth without Honey Cake and Bloodstone."
Oddly enough, her horse's name in modern Akkadian meant Honey Cake but was spoken Penny-gu. And Bloodstone was Diim-me or Dime. So her pets were Penny and Dime. That realization drew a chuckle from me. I patted the satchel.
"Don't give up hope," I told her. "Some God whispered in my ear that you might make it."
"Thanks," she smiled. It was a ray of sunshine through the veneer of her melancholy. "Also, give my thanks to your God."
"Amen."
"Here, I have your gifts in my inn room. I'll take them here, could you wait outside?"
"Sure."
Armed with the saddlebags, I went to the room and Garfield Replicated the stuff. I stashed everything in the saddlebags and went back out.
"Here. There's a spare laptop, some solar panels, drones, and a few thumb drives with books, software, and movies from home. Also all the seasons for Friends, Gossip Girl, and Gilmore Girls."
Sandra gasped and wiped a tear. "Seriously? Oh, thank you, Mr. Percival! I really appreciate it!"
"It's all in the saddlebags. I really wish I could do more to help you. But my hands are tied. Unless I wanted to start a war and... no. Sorry."
"Please, not another war because of me. Anything but that."
"Another?"
"It's a long story. And I have this feeling you want to take your cat away as soon as possible."
I let my head hang. "You are sharp, Sandra."
"If you get back to Earth before me, look for Teresa Williams in Wyoming U. It's Teresa without an H. She was a major in social communication back in 2019."
"I'll surely do."
"Goodbye, then. I hope you find the way home."
I waved. "I hope you find the way home."
I also hoped the innkeeper stopped cutting onions.
*
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*
Garfield was glad to dump a few dozen million dissenters in Tarhun's world. One could only hope they would prosper but these disgruntled rebel insatiable types were often also lazy and chaotic. They lacked the discipline required to prosper.
Back in the space station, we made sure to keep the cat away from the cyber-dryads. We had no idea how Lily would react if she saw her brother's new incarnation. I created a few empty Dungeon Cores to show Garfield how it was done while he let me study his arcane computers. I got some insights but had no luck learning how to make them by myself.
"I had many master enchanters take a look at the enchantments. They had no better luck than you."
"I'm afraid that's impossible. I can understand a few of the enchantments but the core parts are just nonsensical. Whoever gifted these enchantments to you is a genius."
"Probably a deity above our level. They were one of the System admins during my Earth apocalypse. Thanks for trying, though. I'll keep my promise. The cat shall live in comfort until he dies of old age."
"Thanks."
"Come, Matriarch of Yznarian. Let me take you home."
Though it wasn't really home. I was still a long way away from Earth.
*
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MDW: Happy April's fool. By the way, this story is canonical.